Guys, why is it so hard for you to just say what you really want?

[mojones1990]

This guy said he wants to cuddle. Now I’m experienced enough to know that is code for sex. We’ve already slept together so I said “you know you don’t want to cuddle lol” but he replied “actually I do”.

I’m not sure if I’m just pessimist here but I feel like he’s lying lol. I have hard time believing men just want to cuddle…

It's just silly because we’ve already slept together so why not just say he wants sex instead of trying to disguise it as cuddling? We’re adults and we’ve already slept together. It’s not a big deal to say what you really want. Silly and annoying to be honest.

 

[RangerMIke]

Why are YOU playing games with him? If you think he wants sex and you do too, then just fvck him.

IMO you are overthinking sh!t. Why is it so important that you be RIGHT about his motives? Your behavior will not encourage him to be more honest with you.

Just fvcking cuddle with him, if you don't want sex, just fvcking tell him. I agree that real men will just tell you what they want and go after what they need. But, most males act like this because women like you are ALWAYS trying to analyze every little fvcking thing that goes on.

He should not give a sh!t about what you want.... but he does, so you are doubting him.... so what do you think the problem is?

 

[guru1000]

I agree with your sentiment OP. He banged you once and now he asks to Cuddle? LOL.

I'm truly saddened by the number of emasculated men these days.

 

[RangerMIke]

How am I playing games? There's no need to sugar coat things with flowery ish. Women wouldn't analyze if we were given things straight.

You know what he wants and you are just second guessing him. He wants to cuddle, just fvcking cuddle with him and let it go. You are playign games because you are over thinking stuff, which will only encourage him to be dishonest with you.

You came here looking for advice and I'm giving you damned good advice and now you are getting defensive... you are the problem. Why do I say that, it's because YOU can effect how YOU behave, you can not change him, if he acts like this... well, this is the way he is. If you don't like the fact that he is less than straight forward, either encourage him to be more honest with you by giving him what he wants or dump him.

 

[marmel75]

This guy said he wants to cuddle. Now I’m experienced enough to know that is code for sex. We’ve already slept together so I said “you know you don’t want to cuddle lol” but he replied “actually I do”.

I’m not sure if I’m just pessimist here but I feel like he’s lying lol. I have hard time believing men just want to cuddle…

It's just silly because we’ve already slept together so why not just say he wants sex instead of trying to disguise it as cuddling? We’re adults and we’ve already slept together. It’s not a big deal to say what you really want. Silly and annoying to be honest.

Because as you know, most guys are pvssies that tiptoe on eggshells around women and don't understand how to act like a man anymore.

 

[marmel75]

No one is getting defensive. Does contacting a girl at 10 pm saying he wants to cuddle sound like a guy who genuinely wants to cuddle? No. That's classic booty call.

The man should just grow some balls and just say something sexual instead of "oh I want to hold you" bull that's all I'm saying.

If you want sex then just say so especially if we've already done it. That flowery stuff is misleading.

I agree...the text should have been something like "I want to see how long you can go with my c0ck down your throat. Are you game to find out?"

 

[LiveYourDream]

I feel like if anything he's making this more complicated than what it is.

OP, look in the mirror, on this one.

 

[Huffman]

Well.... is Sosuave starting to advise women on how to chastise their men?

 

[Bokanovsky]

So because its just sex and he's talking about holding me and cuddling which is disingenuous instead of just keeping it sexual I'm complicating things?

Saying straight up that you want sex is a turn-off for most women. It's really that simple. Direct, business-like communication of positions and interests never works with women in the dating context.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Saying straight up that you want sex is a turn-off for most women. It's really that simple. Direct, business-like communication of positions and interests never works with women in the dating context.

Men noted it and women say it. Women are indirect in their style and prefer this with men as well when it comes to sex, UNLESS he already has the magic key, then anything he say and do will "penetrate" her. On initial meetups until sex between you is VERY regular it's going to be a movie and drink night, or netflicks and chill, or come back to my place and chill, etc.

 

[fastlife]

If he had texted, "Let's fvck," you'd hit him with the, OMG all you care about is sex and then you'd come here posting something like, "There's this guy but every time we see each other we just have sex. Why doesn't he ever cuddle me? Does he liiiike meeee?" Lol.

Has nothing to do with the guy being a pvssy. He's just being smart and knows not to trigger your ASD--though he might have better luck with something like, 'Movie tonight?' (even though you and he both know you wouldn't make it to the credits--is that still lying?).

Or he could be like me and just love cuddling. If I'm hanging with a girl who doesn't make the cut for sex, I'll still cuddle her because it feels good.

 

[fastlife]

Like I said I guess I just like things very black and white.

You like jumping to conclusions. You're assuming he wants to fvck you again. I had one girl I kept on rotation just to cuddle & cook for me from time to time; it balanced my need for intimacy & allowed me to run tighter game on girls that I wanted to keep around for a while. You never know.

But if I had to guess, your ring finger's longer than your index finger, am I right? Or you've been run through a little too many times and aren't close enough to the wall to appeal to your estrogen/pair bonding.

 

[Yewki]

But if it's just about sex I don't see why a guy can't say "lets f*ck" or at least hey want to come over?.

The person you were responding just answered this question. It's literally at the very top of his post that you yourself quoted. And the person above that answered the very same question too. Are you just posting over and over until you get a response you want?

 

[Dealler]

Wrong and wrong lol. I've only slept with 3 people.

Oh so it may not be about sex but it could be an intimacy fix? Also new to me.

Why keep her in rotation when you had other girls you could see for long term? Why not just get your needs met with them?

Or, ooooooooor.........he just likes to fvcking cuddle. Me too.

 

[Trump]

This guy said he wants to cuddle. Now I’m experienced enough to know that is code for sex. We’ve already slept together so I said “you know you don’t want to cuddle lol” but he replied “actually I do”.

I’m not sure if I’m just pessimist here but I feel like he’s lying lol. I have hard time believing men just want to cuddle…

It's just silly because we’ve already slept together so why not just say he wants sex instead of trying to disguise it as cuddling?

If he said he wants sex from you would come on here and say: "Why are you guys so to the point when it comes to sex? Don't you know we like romance, sweet words, expensive chocolate and cuddling?

Come on OP, you cant have your cake and eat it too.

 

[wifehunter]

It's not hard... I want a ribeye steak medium rare crispy on the outside, with garlic mashed potatoes and green beans. And, cold glass of a good sauvignon blanc.

 

[marmel75]

Saying straight up that you want sex is a turn-off for most women. It's really that simple. Direct, business-like communication of positions and interests never works with women in the dating context.

Not once you have fvcked them it isn't. Unless you were terrible, it's a major turn on usually.

 

[MrWood]

i kinda think in this case "lets cuddle" is his way of saying "i like you more than just a FB, and we can meet up without 100% intention of only sex, hangout is ok too"

 

[Desdinova]

We’ve already slept together so I said “you know you don’t want to cuddle lol” but he replied “actually I do”.

I tell my gf that I want to cuddle when I'm not in the mood to fvck.

Does contacting a girl at 10 pm saying he wants to cuddle sound like a guy who genuinely wants to cuddle? No. That's classic booty call.

So he texted that? If that's the case, then he's basically telling you that he's needy.

 

[DiegoSantori]

Every man, just like every woman, has his own personality and his own style. A naturally staightforward guy saying "I want sex with you" will be perceived as 'natural' and 'honest'. It's just him being himself.

Now let's take a look at a naturally reserved & indirect guy. If this guy reads on SoSuave that men should be upfront and straightforward about their intentions but it just doesn't fit his style, he will fail miserably because he's acting against his own nature.