Guys: What to do when the girl I'm interested in said she's seeing someone(help fast)

Kal0051

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She told me that she been seeing someone a bit. I kind of feel defeated and I don't know whether or not to give up. When I asked if they were dating she said no. Though she admitted that they are a little more than friends (don't know what she means by that though, like are they just fb or what). I guess I kind of showed my hand with that conversation (didn't tell her I like her, but it's obvious). What should I do? And quick advice would be nice.
 

The_411

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It means she's open for business and who ever shows the most manliness will get her business.

IT's an invitation to step up and eliminate all competition.
 

HarlequinMan

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Haha good point The 411.....basically be a man and you will get her, dont even THINK about giving up....keep going until your are rejected or ****ing this girl!
 

R19

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How did this come up? By disclosing it I think that she is giving you an opportunity. The other guy has an opportunity too - and an opportunity to AFC so keep your game tight and go for it.
 

kal_0051

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This is the op, I used up all my posts for today but I need this answered fast. It came up because she said she was trying to avoid a certain place. I asked her why and she said because she's been seeing someone there a bit and didn't want to feel that she needs to hang around him a lot. When I asked her if they were dating she said no.
 

Igetit!

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How long have you known this girl? And how often do the two of you talk/hang out,and what kinds of things do you talk about?
 

kal_0051

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haven't known her long at all. We've only hung out once since I met her, and we haven't really had a lot of long conversations. I wanted to keep from becoming too much of her friend until I was sure she was interested.
 

Igetit!

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kal_0051 said:
haven't known her long at all. We've only hung out once since I met her, and we haven't really had a lot of long conversations. I wanted to keep from becoming too much of her friend until I was sure she was interested.
Good thinking man. That one statement from you tells me that you "get it". You may be having a few difficulties with this situation,but in knowledge you're miles ahead of a lot of guys.

The only error I see with you is you spending the small amount of time you do spend with her talking about her relationships (or possible relationship) with other guys. Instead of talking about her dating other people,you should have brought up your interest to her,either directly or indirectly. This way at least the thought of the two of you dating would be paramount in her head,instead her and this other guy whenever you two talk.

In a nutshell,DON"T TALK to her about her dating other people. That's what two girls who are girlfriends do. Be A MAN when you're in her presence.
She needs to feel that you're a man when you talk to her,not like she's chatting with one of her girlfriends.
 

kal_0051

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I didn't ask her if she was dating anyone. I figured that if she was she would clue in that I like her and she would tell me. She brought up seeing this guy all on her own, the only reason I asked her if they were dating is because I wanted to make sure I wasn't misinterpreting anything. The thing that confuses me is that she seemed interested in me before.
 

Maxtro

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n a nutshell,DON"T TALK to her about her dating other people. That's what two girls who are girlfriends do. Be A MAN when you're in her presence.
She needs to feel that you're a man when you talk to her,not like she's chatting with one of her girlfriends.
Great point and of course it is something that I have done before and will never do again.

You are worthy of your name.
 

Igetit!

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kal_0051 said:
I didn't ask her if she was dating anyone. I figured that if she was she would clue in that I like her and she would tell me.
Mistake here dude. Boy,why do guys do this? Have you seen Maxtro's thread? The one called,"I completely and utterly failed"? You're making the exact same mistake he did. Exactly. The only difference is that he tried to get with his girl by being her friend first,then it fell apart. This thing you said about you thinking would "clue in" That you liked her is what Maxtro did. It's possible that initally she did like you,or have some interest in you and that's why she didn't mention her "being a bit more than friends" with this other guy. Seems to me like she was giving you a space to possibly date her. But instead of you taking it,you started talking about that other guy.

kal_0051 said:
She brought up seeing this guy all on her own, the only reason I asked her if they were dating is because I wanted to make sure I wasn't misinterpreting anything. The thing that confuses me is that she seemed interested in me before.
Yeah,this is what I mean:You said that she's brought up this other guy on her own,but before,she seemed interested in you. My guess is that she was interested in you. Then when you didn't make your interest known to her and was just hoping that she'd figure it out on her own,then she broght up the other guy as a means of showing you that she wasn't interested. Since you two haven't been around each other that much,it's possible that her intial interest may still be there,but the more time that passes,the less likely your chances are.
 

kal_0051

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Igetit! said:
Since you two haven't been around each other that much,it's possible that her intial interest may still be there,but the more time that passes,the less likely your chances are.
yeah, that's why I want to fix this now, like in the next couple of days. That's why I'm asking for advice so urgently.
 

Igetit!

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Well,I'd just ask her out. That plain and simple. You need to make your interest known instead of talking to her about some other guy's interest,or instead of hoping she's psychic and can "detect" your interest.
And don't be all nervous,shaking,and about to wet your pants when you do it either. If you act this way when you ask her out,she'll "sense" it,then it'll make her uncomfortable too. You'll put her under pressure. She'll feel like your happiness/emtional well-being is dependant on whether she says yes to a date with you or not. You ever see a movie or a tv show where some guy in trying to diffuse a bomb? He's all nervous and shaking and sweat is pouring all down his face because he's under such pressure not to make a mistake.
If you appraoch her like that,then it'll already be over before you even open your mouth.

Well,good luck man. I hope things work out for you. I'm off to work now.

Peace.
 

kal_0051

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Igetit! said:
Well,I'd just ask her out. That plain and simple. You need to make your interest known instead of talking to her about some other guy's interest,or instead of hoping she's psychic and can "detect" your interest.
And don't be all nervous,shaking,and about to wet your pants when you do it either. If you act this way when you ask her out,she'll "sense" it,then it'll make her uncomfortable too. You'll put her under pressure. She'll feel like your happiness/emtional well-being is dependant on whether she says yes to a date with you or not. You ever see a movie or a tv show where some guy in trying to diffuse a bomb? He's all nervous and shaking and sweat is pouring all down his face because he's under such pressure not to make a mistake.
If you appraoch her like that,then it'll already be over before you even open your mouth.

Well,good luck man. I hope things work out for you. I'm off to work now.

Peace.
the only thing I have to say to this is that I haven't been hiding that I'm interested in her so I positive she knows. I guess it's possible she just thinks I'm friendly/flirty or something but I seriously doubt it.
 
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