Guys please help, for some reason I am feeling very weak right now

[nando]

Before I was in shape I was more confident to approach and stuff, whereas now it's not like I get AA, I don't get rapid heartbeats or anything like that, it's like I just feel I should get on with my day and not slow myself down by mindlessly talking. I know that this is not the right way, I have so much on my mind from school and working out, it's like I am always worried about time ,and lose my confidence in general. I am feeling very depressed right now, and hate the fact that my emotions are controlling me. Please guys I feel like my life is going down the drain.

 

[Interceptor]

Before I was in shape I was more confident to approach and stuff, whereas now it's not like I get AA, I don't get rapid heartbeats or anything like that, it's like I just feel I should get on with my day and not slow myself down by mindlessly talking. I know that this is not the right way, I have so much on my mind from school and working out, it's like I am always worried about time ,and lose my confidence in general. I am feeling very depressed right now, and hate the fact that my emotions are controlling me. Please guys I feel like my life is going down the drain.

What's wrong with "not slowing yourself down and mindlessly talking"????


Sh*t, I do that every damn day!

 

[nando]

What's wrong with "not slowing yourself down and mindlessly talking"????


Sh*t, I do that every damn day!

well it means i don't build rapport with people i talk to, i just want to get on with what i need to do

 

[Interceptor]

So are you saying that your Goal in interacting with people is "Building Rapport"?

Is this true for you?

 

[nando]

So are you saying that your Goal in interacting with people is "Building Rapport"?

Is this true for you?

yes. what is wrong with that?

 

[Interceptor]

Hold on, nandito.

NO ONE stated that there was 'anything wrong ' with that!
OK?

Settle down and stop projecting your insecurities.

So you do agree, this is what you want to achieve in your interactions.

And what seems to be happening is that you're NOT doing that.

When you don't achieve your Goals, you don't build Self Esteem.
So what is the reverse engineered question?

WHEN YOU DO ACCOMPLISH YOUR GOAL, YOU WILL BUILD SELF ESTEEM.

So let me ask you then, WHY are you NOT "building rapport" with those cool people you want to talk to?

 

[nando]

Hold on, nandito.

NO ONE stated that there was 'anything wrong ' with that!
OK?

Settle down and stop projecting your insecurities.

So you do agree, this is what you want to achieve in your interactions.

And what seems to be happening is that you're NOT doing that.

When you don't achieve your Goals, you don't build Self Esteem.
So what is the reverse engineered question?

WHEN YOU DO ACCOMPLISH YOUR GOAL, YOU WILL BUILD SELF ESTEEM.

So let me ask you then, WHY are you NOT "building rapport" with those cool people you want to talk to?

hey bro i wasn't jumping on you, i was just curious, i meant it in an inquisitive way, not offended way.

I am not building rapport because when I am thinking about what I want to do at the time I think it won't be worth it, and feel like I shouldn't bother trying to talk to people and just mind my own biz. If I do start the convo it usually leads nowhere because of my inability to focus on a topic, I did not used to have this problem before.

 

[Interceptor]

hey bro i wasn't jumping on you, i was just curious, i meant it in an inquisitive way, not offended way.

I am not building rapport because when I am thinking about what I want to do at the time I think it won't be worth it, and feel like I shouldn't bother trying to talk to people and just mind my own biz. If I do start the convo it usually leads nowhere because of my inability to focus on a topic, I did not used to have this problem before.

So the question is WHY?

Is it because you feel they are above you?

Or are you above them?

Do you feel you have little expereinces to share with them?

Do you feel like you are trying too hard to impress, and maybe it sounds mechanical and forced?

nando,
these are the things you need to reflect on.

Understand your motivations for feeling this way.

The answer to this question is simply to work on achieinvg your GOAL.

WE have clearly stated that ONE of your goals is to 'build rapport' with the cool people you interact with.

Inform yourself on HOW to 'BUILD RAPPORT",


And go out and EXPERIENCE "BUILDING RAPPORT".

Who says it has to be perfect?
Are you trying to impress anyone?
You shouldn't be.
What are you trying to 'get' from 'building rapport"?

Are you hoping people will like you?

Or are you just trying to bring value to people,and make them feel good, and NOT 'expecting' ANYTHING in return???


Think about these things.
The answers will start to come to you.

 

[nando]

thanks for the information incterptor, tomorrow i will try out the things u recommended and will update this thread.

 

[Interceptor]

Cool.

We'll talk tomorrow.

 

[PrinceBeavis]

Why is it that you were more confident before you got in shape? Don't you usually get more confident when you get in shape?
And I can understand why you'd have a lot on your mind from school, but why would working out bother you? Working out is usually a good way to get rid of stress, and a valuable way to spend time, no?

 

[nando]

Why is it that you were more confident before you got in shape? Don't you usually get more confident when you get in shape?
And I can understand why you'd have a lot on your mind from school, but why would working out bother you? Working out is usually a good way to get rid of stress, and a valuable way to spend time, no?

No bro I love working out. Plus after I got into better shape I got more attention from females, but the thing is I guess my standards boosted up really high and it just made me the wreck of a person I am now.

My confidence is higher in respect to males acknowledging my dominance which I didn't have before, but for some reason my confidence with speaking to women went down after I got into shape. I think it is more because I realize know it will be harder for me to get the kind of job I want that I thought I could easily get back then, actually I don't even know if it is that. I can't pinpoint what made me what I am now . Another thing is more people pay attention to me now, just cuz of my size, so I think that too perhaps is bothering me cuz every time I turn around I will find guy/girl looking at me, mostly guys though (not in a gay way, just looking at me cuz i am pretty big), i guess it was easier to approach when I knew not many folks would be paying attention to me. I am gonna be in boston until december of 2008, so I want to take advantage in my last year in boston.

 

[Obsidian]

It sounds like you feel superior to the people you're approaching -- which may in fact be accurate and (may be a good thing whether it's accurate or not).

Also, it sounds like you are putting too much pressure on your improved self to "succeed" with women by getting dates/sex/whatever from them. Despite all you've learned, you are still putting women in the forefront and making them your goal. That's not good.

My advice: If you feel like you're too busy to waste time with silly women, then don't go out of your way to talk to them. They probably are wasting your time. Talk to them only when you're really in the mood or really horny or whatever. In the meantime, just work on yourself and on your goals, and live your life. Overall, this will help you by helping you accomplish your important life goals and by taking women off their pedastal in your mind.

 

[nando]

hey guys I went to do my mission today but the girls I was looking for were not working!, Some old women were doing their shifts! I will try tomorrow and let you know what happens ! Wish me luck!

 

[nando]

Ok guys I did it today! I wanna thank you guys especially interceptor for the advice. Let me tell you what happened,

the first girl who I had awkward convos with I managed to have a decent convo with today.

The 2nd girl who I am interested in I managed to have much better convos with her but when i talk to her I notice she is always looking around her to what's going on in her surroundings, I figured she just may not be interested. However whenever I am near her she looks at me as if expecting me to start talking and i catch her looking at me sometimes when i am working out (or maybe I am imagining things?). Should I pursue her guys or is she just not interested?

Tomorrow I will try more girls and let u guys know how it goes .

 

[nando]

guys i am improving steadily! thanks for the info.

However i need some help, there is this one chick who whenever i talk to her doesn't really take the conversation anywhere, doesn't ask me anything about myself, and answers my questions. It's not like she gives me short answers or anything, she just answers my questions exactly as they are, and i have to throw in more questions or talk about something else, if i talk about something related to me she will give me an expression like wow/oh my god/ and that's it, and it's so ****in awkward talking to her. Should i consider her uninterested and next her?

 

[Last Man Standing]

Hey kid, quit talking and ask her to join you somewhere sometime!!!

 

[nando]

Hey kid, quit talking and ask her to join you somewhere sometime!!!

man i can't cuz she knows nothing about me and it is a pain in the ass talking to her because it's like if don't say anything nothing will be said, she is like a robot and answers what i ask without being inquisitive or anything, i am getting bored talking to her to be honest.

 

[FoolsCause]

I don't think he meant talking with her.

 

[Pimp101]

Maybe she's just nervous because she likes you. Women get anxiety too ya know.