Guys overcompensating with their balls

[Jariel]

What is it with all the guys on this forum who keep demanding that we all need to grow balls and must be approaching 100 chicks a day just to prove ourselves men?

I'm starting to get the impression that such guys are too lazy to improve themselves, become worthy and attractive men, so they overcompensate with claims of being bolder, badder and having bigger balls than the rest of us.

These are probably the same kind of guys who try to seek approval by bragging about the 100s of women they've fvcked - yet neglect to mention that they're all fat and desperate chicks.

Yes, I agree we all need to overcome our sense of fear and nervousness of women and be men. I also agree that it is very liberating being able to talk to women without fear. But approaching 100s of women just to qualify yourself as a man is just pathetic approval seeking.

 

[Chillisauce]

Originally posted by Jariel
What is it with all the guys on this forum who keep demanding that we all need to grow balls and must be approaching 100 chicks a day just to prove ourselves men?

I'm starting to get the impression that such guys are too lazy to improve themselves, become worthy and attractive men, so they overcompensate with claims of being bolder, badder and having bigger balls than the rest of us.

These are probably the same kind of guys who try to seek approval by bragging about the 100s of women they've fvcked - yet neglect to mention that they're all fat and desperate chicks.

Yes, I agree we all need to overcome our sense of fear and nervousness of women and be men. I also agree that it is very liberating being able to talk to women without fear. But approaching 100s of women just to qualify yourself as a man is just pathetic approval seeking.

I cant speak for everyone else here, but the reason i approach women (and indeed, come to this board) is not to seek approval but so that when i eventually come accross that 9 or 10 girl who really makes my heart leap (shatter this dream and i swear i'll cut you!) i'll have the confidence AND experience to approach and successfully woe her. Sorry to say but with my current ability i need all the practice i can get - 100 is abit absurd but 5-10 i would consider a very good amount of cold approaches for a single day.

Originally posted by Jariel
I'm starting to get the impression that such guys are too lazy to improve themselves, become worthy and attractive men, so they overcompensate with claims of being bolder, badder and having bigger balls than the rest of us.

I'v improved myself dramaticall already, i'v dropped close to 40 pounds of fat, took up ballet last year (dont ask), compose my own music, do several styles of martial arts, play golf, have learnt a large portion of french/japanese, am getting a university degree and trying to put on 35 pounds of muscle. That enough self improvement for you? Approaching many women is all about self improvement too - my social skills.

 

[illmatic20]

What is it with people not thinking before they post?...Have you ever considered that every peson is different. One might need to talk to 100 girls in order to lose their fear of reject while another might need 1 girl. It doesn't matter aslong as you complish your objective.

 

[Jariel]

I'm not criticising people who do cold approaches, just the zealots who imply that it's essential to being a man.

For the record, there are better ways to overcome your fears of women. Like building self-confidence for a start. To me that is much better than developing an immunity to rejection.

 

[illmatic20]

Originally posted by Jariel
self-confidence for a start. To me that is much better than developing an immunity to rejection.

How do you build self-confidence if you are afriad to talk to a girl?...

 

[Jariel]

Originally posted by illmatic20
How do you build self-confidence if you are afriad to talk to a girl?...

You become a man of value by improving your mind, body, style, charisma and generally become happy with yourself.

Talking to people is something that does come with experience, but you cannot get natural conversation and rapport experience within 5-10 minutes of meeting someone from a cold approach. You have to get this by mixing in social groups and networking (join social clubs, school, college etc).

 

[Arioch]

I think illmatic illustrates very well the reason there are guys saying things like, "You gotta have balls," or whatever. There is a certain level of suaveness, the most basic level, that can only be attained through knowing your goal and having balls. How does one become self-confident? By talking to women. How does one start talking to women? By, first and foremost, being self-confident. If you're not already comfortable talking to women, the only way to get that way is by talking to them, and if you don't have natural confidence, you must rely on that which we call balls. Having balls in this sense means facing your fear, because we're trying to tell you that you actually have nothing to be afraid of, and the only way to realize that is to put yourself in the situation that you're afraid of.

It's not just about having balls, but having balls is essential. Your balls generate a voice in your head that say, "Do it! Go! Yeah! DO IT!" even if you're scared or think it's a dumb idea (that's why people who listen to their balls too often die in stupid accidents). We're not saying listen to your balls when you're afraid of having your drunk friend throw knives at you, but women aren't that dangerous. Listening to your balls to start talking to women will not harm you, so long as you don't go overboard and just start walking up and copping a feel.

Listen to your balls, and start talking. Then as your brain becomes less frightened, start using that again.

 

[Visceral]

Because you can spend the rest of your life improving yourself and still never approach a single woman. Having the goods just improves your odds of success; it has nothing to do with whether or not you can or will approach.

A killer body and conspicuous consumption won't do much of anything if you don't have the balls to approach and seduce. Women complain about horny losers hitting on them all the time, but they complain just as much about the rich Adonis who's too shy to make a move.

Plus, I think balls are what motivate self-improvement - since when do the timid and small-minded ever make anything of themselves?

 

[CraigMack]

Originally posted by Jariel
What is it with all the guys on this forum who keep demanding that we all need to grow balls and must be approaching 100 chicks a day just to prove ourselves men?

I disagree with you here. I think these guys are trying to get you to force your own lazy bums into action by setting a high number of approaches to strive for.

You won't get laid until you start approaching. It's a rare situation when a female jumps on you and says "rape me."

Originally posted by Jariel

I'm starting to get the impression that such guys are too lazy to improve themselves, become worthy and attractive men, so they overcompensate with claims of being bolder, badder and having bigger balls than the rest of us.

I don't know how those guys look but it's still good advice. Either you grow some balls which means start acting like a man instead of the AFC's or you will remain the same. Whining and complaining about the hand that life delt you in the mating arena.

Originally posted by Jariel

These are probably the same kind of guys who try to seek approval by bragging about the 100s of women they've fvcked - yet neglect to mention that they're all fat and desperate chicks.

This we can't and shouldn't use conjecture on. Why not have some of these guys send you photos of the women that they are shagging.

Originally posted by Jariel

Yes, I agree we all need to overcome our sense of fear and nervousness of women and be men. I also agree that it is very liberating being able to talk to women without fear. But approaching 100s of women just to qualify yourself as a man is just pathetic approval seeking.

Now this is funny. You just destroyed your whole argument. Your agreeing with your opposition here. So it must be a personal issue with just you as to why your so upset at being told that you need to grow some balls and to start approaching 100 women a day.

I agree that this is a lot of women. I think the true message here is that you should always be approaching women at all times.

If your at the train station and you see a nice looking woman go over and chat her up.

If your in line at the soup counter and behind you is a nice looking young lass then turn around and chat her up.

I think many men over look all of the real opportunities that exist around them. No one says that you must lay every girl that you talk to. That would be unrealistic.

But what is the harm in bringing a moment of pleasant conversation into a young ladies life? What is the harm in making her smile for just a moment in her day?

What is the harm in just learning to feel comfortable around beautiful women by opening up a friendly conversation with them with no ultimate motive in mind?

Get my point?

 

[Double]

man you can't change that basic difference
in mindset.....but i feel you being a bit dissapointed cause you're the only regular poster of this mindset nowadays i think.....others like MindOverMatter etc only post sporadically.

Originally posted by Jariel
You become a man of value by improving your mind, body, style, charisma and generally become happy with yourself.

Talking to people is something that does come with experience, but you cannot get natural conversation and rapport experience within 5-10 minutes of meeting someone from a cold approach. You have to get this by mixing in social groups and networking (join social clubs, school, college etc).

here i beg to differ, imo you can get good rapport in a cool approach and in even less then 10minutes with a person you never seen before......but only with few people who have similar traits as oneself.....

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

lol

The irony of this thread is that some people are just the opposite and they try and overcompensate for their lack of testicles by other means.

 

[Ricky]

I have a great job and am living in a new town. The point of my talk is to meet people. I have already been invited to a couple of private parties and have plenty of numbers to work with.

Guess what I won't close unless I'm interested. I am doing this to meet people. Maybe I'll meet someone I want to date, maybe not!

 

[Anomalous]

Re: Re: Guys overcompensating with their balls

Originally posted by Chillisauce

I'v improved myself dramaticall already, i'v dropped close to 40 pounds of fat, took up ballet last year (dont ask)

WHY?:crackup:

 

[Jariel]

I notice a lot of you seem to think that cold approaching is the only way to meet girls.

This leads me to believe that you need to increase your social networks a lot more than you need to improve your cold approaching skills. Having different social groups will increase your social confidence, conversation skills and will allow you to meet plenty of women in relaxed settings...as opposed to flagging down some random passer-by going about her business.

I'm getting the impression that many of the guys here are loners who go out alone (or maybe with a male friend) looking for women. Then there are others who go out in mixed groups, meet new people via social networks and get numbers and dates regularly.

In my understanding, increasing social skills and social circles is a huge part of the DJ goal - and is generally a cool thing to do anyway. Unfortunately you're not going to get into any social groups by hitting on women in the street. You need to go to sociable places where you mix naturally and talk to people regularly.

I mean, how did you make your current friends (assuming you have some)? Did you just pick them up off the street?

The thing about cold approaches I find so pathetic is that the whole concept says "I'm lonely, will you be my friend?" and some guys will take it further "hey, I will prove myself to you. I can be funny, I can be smooth, I can do magic tricks" etc. You may not be expressing this verbally, but this is essentially what you are doing.

I don't mean to put anyone down or offend people, but I'm just trying to snap people out of this fantasy world created by seduction communities for lonely men. There's a better life awaiting.

 

[Jariel]

It's a rare situation when a female jumps on you and says "rape me."

True, but it's not rare to have people (men or women) lean over to talk to you in a social setting or have friends introduce you to a hot woman. And if you work hard enough on yourself, it gets to the point where everyone wants to introduce you around and everyone wants to meet you.

Why not have some of these guys send you photos of the women that they are shagging.

Because a lot of them lie! Also they might just be posing with strippers, slvts or even prostitutes, and a photo says nothing about the personality or standards of the woman.

Now this is funny. You just destroyed your whole argument. Your agreeing with your opposition here.

Not really. You just assumed that cold approaching is the only way to overcome fears of women.

man you can't change that basic difference
in mindset.....but i feel you being a bit dissapointed cause you're the only regular poster of this mindset nowadays i think.....others like MindOverMatter etc only post sporadically.

You may be right, although a lot of the guys are still active in the H&F forum. I am a bit frustrated I guess as I feel like I've got things in order for myself and I'm trying to show people the light that I see.

I get concerned that many guys are being trapped in the loop and false promises of the seduction community - which took a lot for me to break out of.

The irony of this thread is that some people are just the opposite and they try and overcompensate for their lack of testicles by other means.

I won't lie, I do get nervous asking women out and I'm nowhere near as ballsy as many guys here. I bide my time a little longer than mostm yet every woman I've asked out during the last year has accepted enthusiastically so it hasn't caused me any problems.

 

[everywomanshero]

Relation

I'm getting ready to walk down to the post office. Garuantee you there will be some chics out on apartment stoops to and from. Killing two birds with one stone here since I need stamps... back to the point.

Here's how cold approaches relate to sosuave:

Say no to oneitis:
When approaching girls daily, oneitis is all but impossible. You simply do not have time for it and the constant influx of new girls kills the urge.

Better style:
Nothing motivates a man to new fashion heights like being the worst dressed guy in a club/restaruant. Approaching women means going out frequently.

Better Body:
getting out and walking alot to approach helps prevent couch potatoitis.

I'm sure there is thousands of other examples. Approaching 200 women per month can coincide with improving one-self and still allow for working full time and reading posts 3-4x a week.
Every other week, I would also suggest spamming dating sites, yahoo, etc to try for a few "staged" dates. You'd need to spam at least 300 women online to expect good results, much more than in person but it takes less time so....

The monster lives in the dark, turn the light on and all you'll find is a mouse. I think guys should find this easy once past week 2-3.

 

[illmatic20]

Originally posted by Jariel
True, but it's not rare to have people (men or women) lean over to talk to you in a social setting or have friends introduce you to a hot woman. And if you work hard enough on yourself, it gets to the point where everyone wants to introduce you around and everyone wants to meet you.

Well, for me it never been my appearance it was more of my mentallity. It easy to talk to people, it called jumping into a conversation. If i have something worthy of saying I will tell them and that how I become friends with them and about a friend (guy) introducing you to a hot women. I never have had that, because my friend are not dumb enough to share their goods. As they wouldn't expect me to share mines. If it a girl she might do it unintentional and be ticked about it or she will ****block me if she want me for herself.

Originally posted by Jariel
Because a lot of them lie! Also they might just be posing with strippers, slvts or even prostitutes, and a photo says nothing about the personality or standards of the woman.

If you don't believe me then good for you. I have nothing to prove to you. Hopefully with my words you will get a sense of if I know what I am talking about or not.

Originally posted by Jariel
Not really. You just assumed that cold approaching is the only way to overcome fears of women.

I don't even know what cold approach is to be honest. I haven't read the book in years. I am just myself.

Originally posted by Jariel
I get concerned that many guys are being trapped in the loop and false promises of the seduction community - which took a lot for me to break out of.

You can take the horse to the river, but you can't force him to drink.

Originally posted by Jariel
I won't lie, I do get nervous asking women out and I'm nowhere near as ballsy as many guys here. I bide my time a little longer than mostm yet every woman I've asked out during the last year has accepted enthusiastically so it hasn't caused me any problems.

I don't bother asking girls out. I just say that I am available at this time and if they want they can join me. Treat them as equals. When you raise your expectations then you put yourself out there. Reason why you get nervous.

 

[ikkenai]

Originally posted by Jariel
I notice a lot of you seem to think that cold approaching is the only way to meet girls.

This leads me to believe that you need to increase your social networks a lot more than you need to improve your cold approaching skills. Having different social groups will increase your social confidence, conversation skills and will allow you to meet plenty of women in relaxed settings...as opposed to flagging down some random passer-by going about her business.

Well that's a chicken-and-egg scenario, isn't it?

Every guy has friends, but if attracting and therefore pulling women was the same process as casual interactions with sets of people, why would boards like this exist? Even fat everquest nerds have a circle of friends, but the reality is that MEETING AND ATTRACTING WOMEN IS NOT THE SAME AS STANDARD SOCIAL INTERACTIONS.

The generally accepted pracitices of friendly social interaction just don't apply. Building attraction and creating relationships with girls, at any phase (the pickup, the first date, the mid-game, the maintenance phase, etc) requires different skills than what even the average, socially competant guy will pick up.

I'm sure a lot of guys on these boards are great in mixed social settings, but still lacked and understanding of the dynamics at play during romantic male/female interactions. Now, say you've gone 20 years old and still find yourself lacking in this department? How do you build CONFIDENCE and COMPETANCE in a hurry? You get into as many encounters, on a romantic level, as possible, and learn as much as possible from each one.

Originally posted by Jariel
I'm getting the impression that many of the guys here are loners who go out alone (or maybe with a male friend) looking for women. Then there are others who go out in mixed groups, meet new people via social networks and get numbers and dates regularly.

In my understanding, increasing social skills and social circles is a huge part of the DJ goal - and is generally a cool thing to do anyway. Unfortunately you're not going to get into any social groups by hitting on women in the street. You need to go to sociable places where you mix naturally and talk to people regularly.

So what are you saying? That cold approaching skills are useless in general social settings? Not all cold approaches are one-on-one.

I was listening to Mystery's talk in Dave D's Mastery series 2 or whatever. He correctly states that MOST girls you are going to approach in ANY social situation are going to be in a set of more than one person. And it's so true... learning how to engage a group, working the crowd while keeping your target in mind is a huge part of the cold approach.

I've gone to the bar, the library, the food court at malls, whatever with buddies, seen a group of chicks, approached a single one, and played the role of the bridge in order to bring our two groups together in a nonromantic social context. Cold approaches are a great confidence builder for ANY social situation. Approaching, interacting, confidence in covo... all different branches of the same tree, dude.

Originally posted by Jariel
I mean, how did you make your current friends (assuming you have some)? Did you just pick them up off the street?

Again you confuse friendships with romantic relationships. Two different things man. I have had WAY more flings with girls than solid friendships that have stood the test of time. Total different relationships. A good friend is WAY harder to find than a girl that will let you in her pants. Fact.

Originally posted by Jariel
The thing about cold approaches I find so pathetic is that the whole concept says "I'm lonely, will you be my friend?" and some guys will take it further "hey, I will prove myself to you. I can be funny, I can be smooth, I can do magic tricks" etc. You may not be expressing this verbally, but this is essentially what you are doing.

Man, you are totally ignorant of the fundemental rule of the successful cold approach: THE ABSENCE OF NEEDINESS IS THE HEART OF THE SUCCESSFUL COLD APPROACH. The goal based, needy, approval-seeking cold approach is BOUND to fail! Not realizing this makes your whole post look like the insecure, ignorant rantings of the KB jocky supreme.

I am a lone wolf. I can make friends and carry myself in ANY interaction with confidence. I choose my friends carefully. There is nothing kiss ass in my approaches - the only goal I have is to increase my game. By choice, I only follow through on like 1/3 of the girls I approach. My only concern is moving up that ladder... the hot girl today is the sure thing tommorrow.

Originally posted by Jariel
I don't mean to put anyone down or offend people, but I'm just trying to snap people out of this fantasy world created by seduction communities for lonely men. There's a better life awaiting.

Oh man... All this time that I've been enjoying approaching people has been a huge delusion! Secretly, these girls I've approached have hated me for doing so! I'm living in a world of make-believe, in a lollipop house on gumdrop lane!

Nigga please. I approach because I want to, because I enjoy it, and constant success means constant reinforcement and advancement. This post really makes me question what YOUR motivations and insecurities are. Why do you have so much disdain for those who take a certain path?

 

[Arioch]

No, I see what he means. There is a certain inherent appearance of desperation in a cold approach. Why would you be talking to a total stranger if you had enough friends and women already? I mean, I've done a lot of cold approaches just for that reason.

I mean, how did you make your current friends (assuming you have some)? Did you just pick them up off the street?

Friends have always been problematic for me. I have a poor concept of friendship. I was a needy guy with women as well as just friends. With the women I have improved, but with the friends I am still confused. How do I meet friends without already having friends? Who are my friends and who are the friends of my friends? How do I get phone numbers of friends without giving it the same air as getting a woman's phone number? How do I get together with friends without giving it the same air as a date?

A lot of my problems come from the fact that I don't always know what I want from women or people in general until I want it, but I want something that one gets from good friends or women one has been seeing for a while. I don't think about the intermediate stuff, and I consider it work that I must make myself do.

I guess I'm just socially... lazy. I want the end result, but I don't know what to do, and when I do know what to do I always think it's too hard and there must be an easier way or else fewer people would be doing it. I'm the same way with getting a six-pack.

Thanks guys, this has been thereputic. I'm confused about what I want and what to do and I'm too lazy to do make enough effort to do what few things I think I might have to do.

I suppose what I need is goals. I have to figure out what I want, and make some goals, with both friends and women.

 

[Jariel]

Well, to each his own. The fact is, I have never seen or heard cold approaching being promoted anywhere except in this seduction community. While you guys are saying you must approach x girls a day, I have girls tell me how some "creepy guy" stopped her in the street and started hitting on her. While guys here are writing how great cold approaches are working, I'm seeing women telling such guys to f*ck off, making up lies to avoid giving a number or to get rid of them, or backing into corners to avoid them.

I know hell of a lot of women, and I ask many of them their opinion on things I read and all of them say they'd be freaked out if a stranger approached them on the street and then asked for their number.

Maybe it's related to where I live, my age or some other factor, but most of what I'm reading here is not congruent with the reality that I'm seeing for myself. The seduction community does seem very much like a fantasy world full of lies, exaggerations and male bravado...and fake photos (e.g. Black Italian being one of the guys caught out).

Only you as individuals know whether cold approaches (or anything else) truly works for you and makes you happy. If so, just ignore what I've said and continue doing them, but if they're not, please don't lie or exaggerate.