Guys in happy LTRs, when did you move in with your LTR?

[CyrusTheGreat]

Basically the title, and
1- Did the dynamic of your relationship change? If yes, how?
2- Did you set any rules/boundaries before moving in?
3- Why did you think it's a good idea to move in with your LTR?

 

[CyrusTheGreat]

Is there really no one who is in a happy LTR? LoL

 

[The Duke]

I've lived with 3 women.

#1 I dated thru school for several years before we lived together, then married.

#2 moved in 5 months into dating. A little crazy started coming out at month #6. She kept it all at bay very well until she got comfortable. Usually you start to see issues well before the 6month mark, not the case with this one.

#3 moved in at the 8month mark. Got along very well. The biggest change with her was when we built a house together. She had equal power now. She didn't feel the need to work as hard keeping things clean or worry about impressing me. She also would override my house rules and I'd have to remind her.

Did the dynamics change, of course. Things that become more familiar are always less exciting. The more comfortable a woman gets, the less she cares about pleasing you.

I'd recommend figuring out what she is expected to contribute for financial support and define the rules.

Why did I want her to move in? Because it was appropriate time wise in the relationship, and we cared a lot about each other.
Also, the going back and forth between two places became a pain and waste of time. I wasn't able to get stuff done around my place. Lots of reasons.

Eventually it become like marriage.

Dating and living apart has a way of keeping things exciting and healthy. The man has the most power and she is the most compliant at this point.

 

[SargeMaximus]

Dating and living apart has a way of keeping things exciting and healthy. The man has the most power and she is the most compliant at this point.

yeah ime moving in is a death sentence. Done it twice and both times the relationship deteriorated. the question is how to keep them perpetually on the hook without fully committing

 

[CyrusTheGreat]

yeah ime moving in is a death sentence. Done it twice and both times the relationship deteriorated. the question is how to keep them perpetually on the hook without fully committing

I have never moved in with a girl, most people I talked to say the same things as you however. Even though I understand the logic why you shouldn't move in with a girl, I can't also see how you can make things work in the long run.

For example, how can you demand a girl to drop her single habits, such as girls night outs if you don't want to move in with her? She simply has lots of free time in the evenings, and she is gonna fill them somehow. She can't drop all her hobbies etc for you without receiving anything from you in return.

On the other hand, why would you move in with a girl who, for example, goes to girls night outs? You might be able to draw a line so that she stops doing such things, and she will comply for a while. But again there is no guarantee that she will keep complying when she gets what she wants (moving in with you).

It appears to me that this is the status of the current dating market. There is no way to win the LTR game. It's a lose-lose proposition unfortunately.

 

[SargeMaximus]

I have never moved in with a girl, most people I talked to say the same things as you however. Even though I understand the logic why you shouldn't move in with a girl, I can't also see how you can make things work in the long run.

For example, how can you demand a girl to drop her single habits, such as girls night outs if you don't want to move in with her? She simply has lots of free time in the evenings, and she is gonna fill them somehow. She can't drop all her hobbies etc for you without receiving anything from you in return.

On the other hand, why would you move in with a girl who, for example, goes to girls night outs? You might be able to draw a line so that she stops doing such things, and she will comply for a while. But again there is no guarantee that she will keep complying when she gets what she wants (moving in with you).

It appears to me that this is the status of the current dating market. There is no way to win the LTR game. It's a lose-lose proposition unfortunately.

Seems so. My ex went to girls nights out and I didn’t care. I have no interest in policing her. Facts are unless you watch her 24/7, if she gonna cheat, she gonna cheat. Maybe it’s just because I’m more polyamorous inclined but it really doesn’t bother me as long as I still hit it

 

[Mazer]

Pros:
She cooks and cleans
Helps pay the bills
Keeps you company

Cons:
Never shuts up
Can’t bring new girls over Lol

 

[Peaks&Valleys]

I have never moved in with a girl, most people I talked to say the same things as you however. Even though I understand the logic why you shouldn't move in with a girl, I can't also see how you can make things work in the long run.

For example, how can you demand a girl to drop her single habits, such as girls night outs if you don't want to move in with her? She simply has lots of free time in the evenings, and she is gonna fill them somehow. She can't drop all her hobbies etc for you without receiving anything from you in return.

On the other hand, why would you move in with a girl who, for example, goes to girls night outs? You might be able to draw a line so that she stops doing such things, and she will comply for a while. But again there is no guarantee that she will keep complying when she gets what she wants (moving in with you).

It appears to me that this is the status of the current dating market. There is no way to win the LTR game. It's a lose-lose proposition unfortunately.

Wait...

Why are you demanding anything? She should be willingly giving these things up because she wants to free her time up for you. She should be trying to get you to stop doing sh1t and you should be telling her to go kick rocks. There are compromises of course but dude, you got it a$$ backwards.

 

[2rings]

Probably the most common scenario of moving in with a woman is when she asks you to move in after 1-2 sleepovers. Haha

drinking game + dual dysfunction

 

[member160292]

Pros:
She cooks and cleans
Helps pay the bills
Keeps you company

Cons:
Never shuts up
Can’t bring new girls over Lol

Adding to the cons,

Alone time, can’t really be comfortable in a shared home
Giving up actually space in your home for her stuff
Always seeing each other for most of the day
If you both WFH, it nearly a 24/7 engagement

I’ve lived with 3 LTR’s, all of which were over 3 years. I wouldn’t do it again if there wasn’t a need to bite the bullet and get married.

 

[Rainman4707]

Basically the title, and
1- Did the dynamic of your relationship change? If yes, how?
2- Did you set any rules/boundaries before moving in?
3- Why did you think it's a good idea to move in with your LTR?

I work long hours 12.5 a day mon fri so she stays at mine, she cooks, cleans so its fine by me. If she stayed at hers I would hardly see her.

She knows if she takes advantage I will tell her to leave.

 

[dark god]

I would answer but the question is for guys in a HAPPY LTR..