Guys, I think I've been blessed.

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Being passive aggressive is a feminine quality, your Giga chad profile photo is the icing on this ironic cake. Also the 'Chad move' would advise for him to spin more plates and get over his oneitis and not commit. First and foremost there is "no one" that is some Disney **** that giga chad or anyone here would fight you on.

I don't deal in absolutes...Is the possibility of finding "the one" small? Yes, is it impossible? Absolutely no! The biggest issue with men is that they do not validate women at all. They settle for the first woman that gives them sex consistently for a month lol.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I don't deal in absolutes...Is the possibility of finding "the one" small? Yes, is it impossible? Absolutely no! The biggest issue with men is that they do not validate women at all. They settle for the first woman that gives them sex consistently for a month lol.

"The One" doesn't really exist. There are any number of women that would qualify for this if you meet them at the right time and place. The difficulty is more in meeting them at the proper time, place and having your lives line up in a way that's conducive for a meaningful relationship

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

"The One" doesn't really exist. There are any number of women that would qualify for this if you meet them at the right time and place. The difficulty is more in meeting them at the proper time, place and having your lives line up in a way that's conducive for a meaningful relationship

There are plenty of women that you could be compatible with, but there are things that hurt your chances.

1). Career/Education- Especially today, women are focused on building that up, so they will more than likely put that ahead of finding a suitable partner in their early years. Not just women, but men have to focus on themselves too. Gone are the days where a woman would just hop your train of life, now it's two trains that go a similar path.

2). Maturity/Experience- Your typical guy needs some experience in dating and to obtain genuine interest before he can properly select and invest in a woman. Most guys are either desperate and fail at properly selecting a woman or stuck in the red pill/rage phase where they lack the emotional maturity to properly date and that hurts their chances of keeping a woman.

3). Timing- Men either marry at too young of an age or wait til it's too late to do so.

What to do: Focus on yourself financially, mentally(get off the red pill rage shvt), and physically, continue to date around in your twenties, and start looking for a mate in your 30s, but be picky about it.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I met a girl in July I felt this way about. 1: how did I manage without her prior? 2: if I didn’t know she could elicit such a feeling in me, I can’t say that someone else won’t either. With that said it’s not easy telling the heart to be rational.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Yes it’s good advice for the OP to be aware of the potential that he’s got a Cluster B/Histrionic on his hands.

But he may have a good thing going too.

It just seems like too many posters here genuinely like to deflate a happy poster’s ego - like it’s sport.

“You cannot simultaneously keep peace and prepare for war.”

Why put him on DEFCON 5? If anything encouraging him to be on guard will affect his frame and could cause him to fail where he wouldn’t have otherwise.

 

[Gamisch]

This is the most serious thing this young man will ever face in his life.
This is fight club. I say woe to the young man who is a sleep at the wheel.

He can train but yet still enjoy himself. Pom poms dont chisle men. Experience does

This is been on my mind from the first time I read the thread. Salute to OP , congrats and enjoy but just keep your guard up .

The more you know about the specific details of dating , the better you'll be able to maintain the relationship like it is.

@Pierce.Manhammer , I think most dudes here with experience with women been through this at least 5 times. That's what makes a seemingly innocent thread interesting; it will make most of us drive through memory lane and see the timeline unfold, where the bliss of love for whatever reason turned into a disaster.

Unfortunately I cant find the video, but there is a scene in the series Vikings where a young 17 y.o Bjorn tells his uncle Rollo he is love with a slave. Rollo's response however was:" love is a wasted emotion "(with a European German accent) .

It's just life.

 

[Barrister]

Yes it’s good advice for the OP to be aware of the potential that he’s got a Cluster B/Histrionic on his hands.

But he may have a good thing going too.

It just seems like too many posters here genuinely like to deflate a happy poster’s ego - like it’s sport.

“You cannot simultaneously keep peace and prepare for war.”

Why put him on DEFCON 5? If anything encouraging him to be on guard will affect his frame and could cause him to fail where he wouldn’t have otherwise.

SS is full of men who have had bad experiences in relationships with women. Myself included. In fact, I have had two relationships in my life that I would describe as starting the same way as the OP's with the woman in question. The problem with the first 1 year of a relationship is it generally is almost completely smooth sailing if you two are fairly compatible. When the sheen of the new relationship wears off is where you will get tested with problems by her. Suddenly, what made you so unique in her eyes annoys the hell out of her and becomes a reason to naturally do something selfish or act out. So, naturally a lot of us are going to be skeptical of something like this.

I would disagree that "being on guard" is a bad thing. A man should always be vigilant in his dealings with women, even if that woman is his wife. In fact, being "on guard" has become almost a perpetual state of mind for me. And maybe some might say that is "jaded" even. It is impossible not to see patterns that constantly arise in how women behave though. And love-bombing is a fairly common cluster B trait as others have pointed out here. There is nothing wrong with making sure OP is being realistic.

 

[pipeman84]

In fact, I have had two relationships in my life that I would describe as starting the same way as the OP's with the woman in question. The problem with the first 1 year of a relationship is it generally is almost completely smooth sailing if you two are fairly compatible. When the sheen of the new relationship wears off is where you will get tested with problems by her. Suddenly, what made you so unique in her eyes annoys the hell out of her and becomes a reason to naturally do something selfish or act out.

Can you elaborate on this? What kind of problems/unique things became unbearable after 1 year that didn't raise any suspicion in the first few months, let alone after 6 months?

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Oh I had a 3 year honeymoon phase in my last LTR, just like the OP describes.

Then things became complicated, frankly? The 3 best years I’ve ever had in a relationship - I’m glad I got to experience what I can only call bliss. Regardless of the outcome of that relationship I would never trade having felt that way if even for a handful of years.

Yea most modern relationships have a shelf life, sad but true.

 

[2Rocky]

OP congrats on finding a woman who makes you feel valued and important. It's not all mind games. It is awesome to have something to be grateful about isn't it?

This is a good time to check all your boxes...make sure you are growing and maintaining all aspects of your life



Frequently we neglect our friend relationships when a new woman comes along. Or maybe we don't pursue our dreams career or entrepreneurship wise...I know I leaned heavily on a social circle, and when a new relationship came along, I didn't need them as much and I neglected that relationship.
Other things like health and finances and your home organization may be set aside. It's best to catch those things so you can keep them on track while still maintaining a relationship . The wheel above has a lot of the areas that lead to overall quality of life score each area on a percentage, hell color them in if need be. and go forward in the next 6 months being mindful of where you want to improve...

 

[BackInTheGame78]

This is the most serious thing this young man will ever face in his life.
This is fight club. I say woe to the young man who is a sleep at the wheel.

He can train but yet still enjoy himself. Pom poms dont chisle men. Experience does

The issue is it can go from everything is great to what the hell just happened in seemingly the blink of an eye. Especially if a person isn't aware that it can and does happen fairly often and what to look out for.

 

[Jor-El]

OP, fwiw I agree with those who say be aware and tread carefully, if that's even possible at this point.

I'm not a shrink but she exhibits many symptoms of BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), Cluster B. I mean her behavior - yikes!

>>BPD tends to make maintaining healthy relationships very challenging for most healthy individuals. This is because the affected individual tends to be quite needy and intense, not only with romantic partners, but also with friends and family.

Additionally, a person with BPD tends to have a very black and white way of thinking about people, seeing them as “all good” or “all bad.” This causes frequently shifting attitudes towards others that range from “extreme closeness and love (idealization) to extreme dislike or anger (devaluation),” says the National Institute of Mental Health.<<

Right now clearly she is in the "idealization" phase, imo an unhealthy idealization.

Frankly, her "give, give, give" behavior would suffocate most men, the men I associate with anyway, a complete turn off.

While it's flattering and obviously nice to receive such validation, there should be a balance. A healthy balance of give and take between both people. In different ways, not one partner giving, giving, giving.

It screams low self-esteem, is extremely needy and I question why you respond so positively to it TBH.

It sounds good on paper but most men I know who have experienced such extreme behavior from women feel completely overwhelmed and suffocated, it's too much for any stage of a relationship.

Anyway, this is all speculation however if she is in the "idealization" stage, it wouldn't hurt to prepare yourself for when she hits the "devaluation" stage, which she will eventually, almost guaranteed.

One simply cannot sustain this type of idealization forever. There will be a crash, most likely when you need some space, which I suspect you will eventually.

That's usually how such relationships go down.

JMO, and good luck.

Having been with a lady exactly like this,I can only agree.To the OP,tread carefully,its great when going well,but there is always,always,the crash,and the dark side.Like a light switch. An emotional rollercoaster.

 

[Murk]

I’m struggling to imagine the kind of man that makes “his famous tiramisu” but also has a girlfriend.

Anyway, OP ask her about her bodycount, threesomes and abortions before you get all excited. Get her a couple large glasses of wine and look down her phone while she’s sleeping.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Spending Christmas together is a huge no no

 

[member160292]

If it's worth anything, I moved in with my last GF within 3 months of first meeting her. Lived together for 3 years, survived COVID and we still see each other. No arguments even though I'm quite the 'controller' I wouldn't change anything, it was a blast

 

[member160761]

Your story sounds good, but don't forget to be detached at all costs. No matter how it is between you two and how you feel for her, keep it to yourself. Treat your affection towards her like the first drops of wine after crossing the Sahara.

Once you show attachment and it goes on for too long she will despise you. Don't degrade yourself to a beta bitсh only because things are smooth now. Once the breeze has settled prepare for the storm. As a man keep your character like an immovable pillar made out of titan. When you are like this you never have to worry gaming your girlfriend/wife, she obliges you in everything naturally.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

The way I like to describe it is “if your crazies match it’s heaven…”

This is interesting @Pierce.Manhammer . I was taught, and experienced in my own relationships and now marriage, that men need a certain amount of distance and space to fall in love and achieve internal harmony.

To pursue his purpose and maintain a certain autonomy. With respect to relationships, a balance between distance and togetherness.

And when a woman gives too much, it has the effect of suffocating him, stifling him, prevents him having the desire to give to her and becoming complacent, even bored.

So, reading these responses, which describes the opposite of that, the feeling of bliss, is interesting and surprising.

AND enlightening!

Good for you OP, hope it lasts.

 

[member160761]

I’m struggling to imagine the kind of man that makes “his famous tiramisu” but also has a girlfriend.

If you can't cook as a man then you are not a man. I met only two girls who cook better than me, all the rest either more or less on my level to not be able to slice and dice a carrot. You should know a couple recipes by heart and excel at few. There is no shame in a man cooking, baking or making pastry.

 

[CoandaEffect]

Dated a lady just like this in 2021. At the 6 month mark it was great, couldn’t believe my luck. Went to hell very quickly at the 9 month mark. It was so bad it was like I was with someone else.

Enjoy it while it lasts and who knows it might last forever. Good luck.

 

[Murk]

If you can't cook as a man then you are not a man. I met only two girls who cook better than me, all the rest either more or less on my level to not be able to slice and dice a carrot. You should know a couple recipes by heart and excel at few. There is no shame in a man cooking, baking or making pastry.

I can cook, food, I’m a great cook been living alone since I was 19 years old you heathen. There’s no way you’re going to shame me for ridiculing dudes making their famous tiramisu **** off. It’s gay.