Originally posted by Quickclicker
Let me explain my situation. I am very very short-tempered. I have a tendency to get pissed off very easily because I used to be a real pu$$y back in high school and would get bullied around alot, and I wouldn't do $hit back then. So I've hardened myself inside and have become a quickclicker. Plus, I started reading and watching movies about the mafia, executions, and torture, and I'm scared that I'm going to kill someone because I feel I have become ruthless and I'm just waiting to explode. I always think about how I want to torture those who have betrayed me, made fun of me, whatever. I want to watch them suffer with my torture.
The thing is now I'm in college. Second year to be exact. And I hate just hate it when people stare at me. I carry a loaded gun in my car in case things get out of hand. For instance, when I go into our food cafeteria or to a McDonalds close to campus, there are alot of gangsta wannabe kids sitting outside or inside the entrance looking at everyone who walks in. People always say that I look like I'm angry and going to kill someone even when I'm just walking normally. So these dudes just stare at me (give me that dirty look) and want to start something because they think their hard. I want to go in my car and get my gun out and open their mouth and shoot the roof of their mouth after cutting up their inner organs.
Even today, when I was walking to my car, their was this muscular dude, (i'm between skinny and athletic) who was staring at me as I was walking by. He looked at me like he wanted to start something. Never stopped looking. Man, I was so pissed off, if I had a knife, I would of ripped open his heart. I was actually going to kill him, thinking of tying his hands behind his back after squirting him with some mase. Then put a paper bag over his head, and watch him suffocate himself to death. This is the kinds of thoughts I think of ALL THE TIME. I don't know where I'm going to end up. I don't give a fuk anymore. This is better than suicide, so I'll take it. I used to care about education and $hit, but now I just want to find someone to kill and torture. I'm scared I'm going to be the next Columbine or something. Do you guys have any advice as to how I should get over this? Also, I wanted to explain that girls always say as I pass by, "damn, he looks like a bad@$$," and they smile at me telling me their interested. But I never want to get close to them because of what I might do to them if something makes me snap.
