gut instincts about an old gf.

[00Kevin]

ok what does a guy do if the girl he has allways wanted in every way (HB10) comes running back to him while he has a HB7 as a girl friend.

My gut instinct is telling me that as soon as I give in and get serious with a HB7 I'm dating my old HB10 is going to come running back. This HB7 is highly interested in me, but I just want someone more attractive as far as looks go. personality wise she is awesome.

so what the hell am I to do? I've always wanted my old girl back for so long, but we just never really had the chance to stay togeather. She had to move far away and during that time she has had many failed relationships. She is currently hooked up with some army guy right now that she is AFC for. My gut instincts tell me that it won't last and she will get really hurt this time. She is so AFC for him, she even thinks that she is getting a ring for her birthday. It also won't be long and she will be moving close to where I live again (she is in the military too). I suspect that when she gets hurt again she will come to her senses and come running back to me.

so what am I to do? A jerk would just play the HB7 for a while until he had the chance to f**k both of them. because i am a recovering nice guy, i have a problem with that.

i should ad that the more i refuse to give in to thie HB7 the more she is going crazy about me. It is such a catch 22

 

[bonjove]

Well, I think the question would be "What do you want out of the relationship you have now?" You already stated that you would rather be with this other girl. So, you should make that clear when you get the right opportunity and hopefully before things get too serious.

Don't worry about being a jerk just act like a man and things will come naturally.

 

[iqqi]

im sorry kev, but you sound confused....and disillusioned...

 

[bonjove]

Originally posted by iqqi
im sorry kev, but you sound confused....and disillusioned...

You think? That's probably why he is here asking for help. By the way iqqi is a female just in case anyone wonders.

 

[iqqi]

Originally posted by bonjove
You think? That's probably why he is here asking for help. By the way iqqi is a female just in case anyone wonders.

hahahaha. god, all of you men are such comedians! really! i laugh so much on this site.

anyways what i am meaning here is that he is so convinced that HB10 will come running back, and that HB7 is dispensible...and that he has such a hand to play, when in reality he has not been dealt this hand he speaks of at all! it is all hypothetical. did you not read that part? HB10 is in love right now with another man!!!! right now! this situation kev speaks of is not even a reality!

and the funny part is MY prediction is that he will end up AFC over HB7. life is funny like that...

 

[bonjove]

and the funny part is MY prediction is that he will end up AFC over HB7. life is funny like that...

 

[BobbDobbs]

A bird in hand is worth two in the bush.

 

[Bonhomme]

It looks like "HB7" ...

is not such a "HB" to you after all. Leave her to someone who will appreciate her more before you string her along too far and end up really hurting the poor gal.

Hate to break the news, but forget about your EX!

She's an EX and that's it. She WANTS someone badly, and it's NOT YOU. What evidence do you have that she's going to come running back, anyway? If she really wanted you, she wouldn't be so crazy for him.

I've learned it's pointless to waste emotional energy on gals who don't give a **** about you. It can be a tough lesson at first (no fantasy prospects if you have no prospects), but it saves disappointment and helps you focus on REAL prospects when they come into your life.

 

[NatureGuy]

I'm not sure why a girl would be so
into this site, but I'd say iqqi pretty
much has it right on this one.
Kev, is this just a fantasy or expectation
that the HB10 will come back?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by iqqi
hahahaha. god, all of you men are such comedians! really! i laugh so much on this site.

anyways what i am meaning here is that he is so convinced that HB10 will come running back, and that HB7 is dispensible...and that he has such a hand to play, when in reality he has not been dealt this hand he speaks of at all! it is all hypothetical. did you not read that part? HB10 is in love right now with another man!!!! right now! this situation kev speaks of is not even a reality!

and the funny part is MY prediction is that he will end up AFC over HB7. life is funny like that...

You guys laugh but iqqi is right. 00Kevin, you are putting your hopes of happiness into someone else and that is never a good thing. PLUS you are considering dating a woman who you aren't really attracted to only because she has a good personality and she shows interest in you. Usually this is a good enough reason to pursue but it doesn't seem that you are really into her.

In a nutshell, you are acting like an AFC. You're letting your ex power over your current lifestyle and you are considering settling for someone you don't really want. Since you want to date a HB10, why don't you just go out and find another HB10 to date????

And for the rest of you guys that denounce the sound advice of a someone just because she is a woman is as bad as if DJs would put you down just because of your age or lack of skills. If this site was a 'good old boys club,' it wouldn't necessarily be nearly as good.

 

[Jet Jockey]

Kev

I understand what you are saying.. Dude, the HB10 is with someone else, but as soon as you get real into a relationship with the HB7 She will come running back? Do I read you right?

Hmm so if you DON'T get into a relationship, the HB10 won't come running back? Actually that could be true. Women want what other women have, because if another woman has it..therefore it must have value. Thats why you can strike out all the time as a single guy, but once you hook up with someone..all the ones you struck out with seem to give you a second look.

So having got the principles down...lets figure out the problem.

Here are the things that will figure into the equation. Time. It will be some time before she ends things with her Army guy. by then you may not even want her. By then you may be perfectly happy where you are at, with whom you have.

Opportunity. if your HB10 is going to be a long distance sort of relationship, I'd forget the idea of even being with her. The only outcome of that is you will most likely not have it turn out like you want. if she is going to live close to you, mmmm ok.

Previous involvement: I have no way of knowing what her previous involvement with you was like. Did she move away crying and missing you, or did she move away thinking, oh well, theres other guys here too. I guess that is alot about previous IL. If her IL was average to low before, i wouldn't expect it to be better this time.

Your goals. Will your goals in life conflict with Hb10? Will they conflict with HB7? something to think about!!

If it were me, I'd continue on with HB7, see where that heads, not take any crap off HB7, but give it a honest DJ try. If things go well there, then forget about the HB10, you already got what you want! If things aren't so good with HB7, you can cut her loose...but no gurantee that HB10 will be available...in which case just go and look for another HB10 that is. What i am taking so many words to say, is that you got about a 20% chance with HB10 here, so i wouldn't even think about it for awhile. Some time is gonna have to go by for her to become available so its a moot point right now. I hope i gave you something to think about. Peace!

 

[00Kevin]

Originally posted by Jet Jockey
Kev

I understand what you are saying.. Dude, the HB10 is with someone else, but as soon as you get real into a relationship with the HB7 She will come running back? Do I read you right?

yes that is kind of what I ment. What i'm really trying to say is that i know the HB wants me on a subconscious level. Yes, I totaly know how this girl thinks. She always ends up tell me that i was right after **** happens to her. this is what i mean by my gut instinct telling me what will happen.

She was just never willing to take the chance with me because her family took her away. So in that sense she isn't really an ex and she was never nexted.

I think i will take a chance with the HB7 (get some) and also look for more HB's. I'm sure this will provoke the HB10 a bit. she may even call me again and tell me that she loves me. I'll just have to ignore it.

 

[00Kevin]

Originally posted by iqqi
hahahaha. god, all of you men are such comedians! really! i laugh so much on this site.

anyways what i am meaning here is that he is so convinced that HB10 will come running back, and that HB7 is dispensible...and that he has such a hand to play, when in reality he has not been dealt this hand he speaks of at all! it is all hypothetical. did you not read that part? HB10 is in love right now with another man!!!! right now! this situation kev speaks of is not even a reality!

and the funny part is MY prediction is that he will end up AFC over HB7. life is funny like that...

iqqi.. i think you are AFC for the DJ board.

 

[NewMan]

Kev,

your not thinking straight my man.

This girl has had many failed relationships and she's expecting a ring from her current BF.....

Have you not read the Bible.

Your living your life based on what this HB10 will do - or rather what you THINK she will do. That's AFC.

Get control of YOUR life for yourself. Your basing your actions on what you THINK other people will do, not on what YOU want to do.

The whole point of this is to live every day - don't live in the past or the future live for today.

If you keep thinking along these lines you'll never be happy - you'll never be in the moment, you'll be running around like a dog chasing it's tail.

Forget the HB10 - move the fvck on.

Date this HB7 - have fun, but be honest with her

 

[iqqi]

Originally posted by NewMan
Forget the HB10 - move the fvck on.

pleaaaase, pretty please, with a HB11 on top?