Gut Feeling Vs Reality

[MisterMcGee]

Honestly you have no not care if she talks to other guys. If she is going to cheat, she's going to cheat. All you can do is work on trust and setting your foot down ethics-wise (make sure she knows that you arent afraid to leave her if she does you wrong)

 

[Tazman]

i asked her in passing, hey i see you're friends left a comment on your page.
she said, oh yeh he did.
so i said ahuh..ok..
and pause...pause..pause..then she said ok, i left a comment on his page about him being single again.so he replied.
so i said yeh ok thats cool no probs..
she said yeh, no biggie.
me: yeh but you contacted him first is that right?
she: yes, oh gosh! im going to regret doing that first arent i
me: why should you regret? im no nazi, ..and changed topic.

Just so you know, this is really making you look bad. Not only the questions, but the fact that you're letting her know by your "snooping" that you're jealous and actively checking up on her. Changing the topic at the end of this interaction isn't fooling her, your game is way too obvious.

 

[decades]

dude you are in for a world of hurt in this day and age when she could have 2 cell phones you don't even know about and three email accounts that you don't know about. She might have a "social networking" account you don't know about. You either Trust this person or you don't. That's YOUR bottom line. If you don't then you have to ask do you trust anybody?

 

[Mr. Me]

Which often manifests itself as a gut feeling

Correct. Unless you're overly paranoid or jealous and creating those emotions through your own imagination, you can't have a gut feeling that something's amiss unless there's something amiss to create that gut feeling. Like a detective who has a hunch about something because the facts don't seem to add up or point in a certain direction.

in this day and age when she could have 2 cell phones you don't even know about and three email accounts that you don't know about.

Absolutely right. And what's more, if she's determined to go behind your back, she will find a way to do it, plus the other guy will help her cover her tracks.

You either Trust this person or you don't.

I would tweak that to: Trust yourself to honor your instincts and know when things are off and trust yourself to do the right thing if and when they are.

 

[Colossus]

Slickaz-

Asking her about facebook comments not only makes you look insecure, but it makes her that much more likely to justify hanging out with other guys. Saying it's "no big deal" after asking her is like saying you "accidentally" looked through someone's stuff. If it wasnt a deal to you, you wouldnt have brought it up.

It would be in your best interest to check yourself and lower your expectations a bit. You're dating a 21 year old, and you are gone for work much of the time. A 21 year-old girl in college....trust me this wont be the last facebook or texting incident you'll deal with. If I were you I would not be taking this LTR thing seriously, and try to get some new girls on your periphery. You dont have to dump her, just dont make her your focus.

 

[KontrollerX]

"Guys i need serious help.
Im in the begining stages of an LTR."

Solution: Get out of your LTR and just pump em and dump em.

Then all the problems dissapear and go away.

No more tossing and turning, no more sickening feelings in the pit of your stomach, and most importantly of all no more drama.

Now I know those that give this advice that I just gave you tend to catch hell from the majority of pro relationship agenda people here but I couldn't give less of a damn.

Think about it slickaz.

Unplug bro.

Go get yourself some sweet variety and live it up.

Don't chain yourself down to one woman.

Be free.

Live free.

And when you eventually die as an old and happy man from getting so much poon and enjoying blessed variety you will leave a beautiful corpse.

Work your mind out of the relationship agenda that is so unfortunately prevalent in this place which is supposed to be more about getting laid than getting into a relationship or marriage and you will find your peace because from what I'm reading from you dude it doesn't seem relationships are really the thing for you and you need to know that that is ok.

Anyone that tells you otherwise is working at protecting their own ego and unwittingly propping up a feminine social convention ie shame the men that shun relationships to bring them back into the fold, back into the system.

Fvck that.

Live free brother.

You don't need a surrogate mommy to love you when you can love yourself.

You don't need a companion in life when you can have many companions in life.

You don't need a best friend when you can have tons of best friends.

Don't short change yourself and go through these needless frustrations just to avoid being alone.

 

[guru1000]

She has this friend, who is now one of her 'good' friends.
in the past they kissed once, when she was 18, she is now 21.

NEXT!

But you won't, good luck.

 

[Jeffst1980]

That facebook conversation was cringe-worthy.

All you accomplished by interrogating her was dropping her interest level in you again. You've got to stop doing that, man.

If you don't feel comfortable with this situation, you next her. That's it. There is absolutely NOTHING you will gain from asking her to defend herself repeatedly. No matter what she says, you won't be satisfied and will pick apart some other interaction she's had or will have.

Observing her behavior is NOT the same as snooping. You want to observe her behavior towards YOU, and snooping around like this is not only extremely damaging, but it is usually irrelevant to your relationship. She left a facebook comment on his page? Big deal. Now, if she is acting weird or "distant" around you, THEN I'd say you have something. You see the difference? If she's acting consistently high interest towards you, you probably have nothing to worry about. If her interest in you is low, it doesn't MATTER if she cheats because you're already gone.

YOUR NUMBER 1 PRIORITY IS TO KEEP HER INTEREST LEVEL HIGH. Spending so much of your valuable time playing detective is counterproductive to say the least.

As for the guy that she kissed, she shouldn't be hanging out with him 1 on 1 --but writing on his facebook really doesn't mean anything. I'm more worried about how you're driving this girl away by being obsessive and insecure.

I think going on this site and reading up on red flags, etc. is doing you more harm than good right now. Right now you have to make a decision--either next her, or commit to stop snooping and work on repairing her interest level.

 

[slickaz]

Thanks guys,
i think im going to reconsider my position in this.

because so far ive been free, i fvked around and had plates by the ton.
replaced plates regularly and then she came along and i thought well why not..
she cooks,cleans etc etc.

her interest level is still very high. as in VERY VERY VERY high.
i havent seen this type of level for along time..
so im thinking, im going to step back, and let her step forward, while i go ahead and relax the tension im creating between us for no reason.

also i think im going to go out and get my plate rate back up.
i dont wanna dump her out of gut feeling, because thats stupid.

infact to be honest, and im going to sound like really stupid here.
its due to my issue with trusting people.

she hasnt done anything wrong, but im already assuming like she is, so i can find a reason to push her away, then i wont get hurt.

and i think that comes from past drama's, i realize she doesnt deserve it, neither does anyone else.

Kontroller, you are absolutely right in saying i should step away from LTR's and step towards more plates.
i will look into getting back into that frame of game.

can you advice on how you maintain the interest in a girl that is so into you and yet have different medium interest plates.
as in this girl is interested enough to tell her friends about me, have our pics as her wallpaper on her phone, pc etc. told her folks. bought me tons of very expensive stuff.
and yeh i get the feeling she wants to go all the way..
how do you handle this?

 

[darwinian_sympathiser]

"Guys i need serious help.
Im in the begining stages of an LTR."

Solution: Get out of your LTR and just pump em and dump em.

Then all the problems dissapear and go away.

No more tossing and turning, no more sickening feelings in the pit of your stomach, and most importantly of all no more drama.

Now I know those that give this advice that I just gave you tend to catch hell from the majority of pro relationship agenda people here but I couldn't give less of a damn.

No, it not that these "pro relationship agenda people" are going to give you hell, it's simply the fact, judging from your reply, that people like you don't know what it's like to truly fall in love.

Look at it from a biological point of view: why would nature makes us suffer all the afflictions that you describe if what it was for was not "worth it"? Nobody can tell anyone what to do, think or feel. And yet all these afflictions you mention come up universally amongst people going through this. Ask yourself why? Some people choose to deal with it by ignoring and trying to wipe it out altogether because they are afraid of the consequences of being hurt.

Think about it slickaz.

Unplug bro.

Go get yourself some sweet variety and live it up.

Don't chain yourself down to one woman.

Be free.

Live free.

And when you eventually die as an old and happy man from getting so much poon and enjoying blessed variety you will leave a beautiful corpse.

my guess is when you die living like you recommend, you have a lot of regrets, or more importantly, you are indifferent because you've never experienced feelings that those who love get to feel.

Work your mind out of the relationship agenda that is so unfortunately prevalent in this place which is supposed to be more about getting laid than getting into a relationship or marriage and you will find your peace because from what I'm reading from you dude it doesn't seem relationships are really the thing for you and you need to know that that is ok.

Anyone that tells you otherwise is working at protecting their own ego and unwittingly propping up a feminine social convention ie shame the men that shun relationships to bring them back into the fold, back into the system.

no one can force being in a relationship on anyone. People "choose" to do it. What do you don't understand? Are you retarded, because it seems likely you are.

Fvck that.

Live free brother.

You don't need a surrogate mommy to love you when you can love yourself.

You don't need a companion in life when you can have many companions in life.

You don't need a best friend when you can have tons of best friends.

Don't short change yourself and go through these needless frustrations just to avoid being alone.

women are like musically instruments. you can be a universalist and play all different sorts of instruments to a reasonable degree. Or you can be a specialist and devote yourself to one particular instrument. If you opt for the latter, there's a higher chance of playing the instrument to an exceptional degree.

slickaz,

if she hasn't done anything wrong then you have nothing to worry about. men only display insecurities about women if there is some kind of power discrepancy, self esteem issues, or emotional trauma from the past.

women don't play games with men they want, and if her interest in you is as high as you say it is, then you shouldn't even be posting here and asking. It might be you who's looking at the situation wrong.

anyway, you should be getting off this site and spending time with her, and not here asking some deluded morons what to do. Because when that happens, you really should learn to think for yourself and not ask other people's advice.

By the way, your job is NOT to maintain her interest level. Terrible misconception. If a woman wants to be with you, she'll be with you. We all end up with those who want us anyway.

 

[librito]

spin plates and enjoy life brother.
you are taking this lady too seriously without even knowing her well....if you had knowned her well you would trust her more and would not be playing dectetive on her.
my point of view is that she has too many red flags for a serious relationship.. and the main red flag is that she is too young for a serious relationship....21 year old girls are horney all the time and you will not be there all the time.....all that needs to happen is that she gets drunk one night hanging out with one of her many male friends and woooooppppsssss
"we had sex but it dont count cause I was drunk" or " I dont like him but I felt lonely" or "its your fault cause you travel too much". or "I was depressed and needed company".
you know it will not be her fault,
what am I talking about? you wont find out anyways cause women are much more discreet than men.

 

[TheRealSupreme]

http://playersupreme.libsyn.com/index.php?post_id=436870

 

[Jeffst1980]

Thanks guys,
i think im going to reconsider my position in this.

because so far ive been free, i fvked around and had plates by the ton.
replaced plates regularly and then she came along and i thought well why not..
she cooks,cleans etc etc.

her interest level is still very high. as in VERY VERY VERY high.
i havent seen this type of level for along time..
so im thinking, im going to step back, and let her step forward, while i go ahead and relax the tension im creating between us for no reason.

also i think im going to go out and get my plate rate back up.
i dont wanna dump her out of gut feeling, because thats stupid.

infact to be honest, and im going to sound like really stupid here.
its due to my issue with trusting people.

she hasnt done anything wrong, but im already assuming like she is, so i can find a reason to push her away, then i wont get hurt.

and i think that comes from past drama's, i realize she doesnt deserve it, neither does anyone else.

Kontroller, you are absolutely right in saying i should step away from LTR's and step towards more plates.
i will look into getting back into that frame of game.

can you advice on how you maintain the interest in a girl that is so into you and yet have different medium interest plates.
as in this girl is interested enough to tell her friends about me, have our pics as her wallpaper on her phone, pc etc. told her folks. bought me tons of very expensive stuff.
and yeh i get the feeling she wants to go all the way..
how do you handle this?

It sounds like you're not too sure about this girl and would rather be single--there's your answer.

Here is the reality about spinning plates: You have to be prepared to give ALL of them up eventually. At this point, your girl has invested too much in you to accept you as a part-time boyfriend while you date other girls. She'll find out you're seeing someone else and will be crushed, and will probably stop seeing you altogether. You can't really effectively go 'backwards' in relationships.

The idea of having a harem of women is obviously a compelling one, and even seems logical when you observe that women are attracted to the guys that attract other women. Unfortunately, women by and large are NOT cool with sharing guys, which makes trying to maintain multiple LTRs a waste of energy. If you want to hook up with a lot of different girls concurrently, you need to avoid LTRs altogether.

You could, of course, break up with her nicely and be remembered as the "one that got away"--that will usually leave the door open for getting back with her in the future if desired (girls do it all the time!). The key is to show her kindness through the breakup and make sure she doesn't take it personally.

 

[slickaz]

http://playersupreme.libsyn.com/index.php?post_id=436870

Thanks my man..

appreciate this.
Im going to play this **** over and over again, everytime i get that feeling.

 

[TheRealSupreme]

Thanks my man..

appreciate this.
Im going to play this **** over and over again, everytime i get that feeling.

good and good luck on your relationship. I really mean that.