Need some advice here, My girlfriend of like 2 months, for one, she's a forgetful person. She's been picking me up lately for the past month (my car is in the shop) and she always seems to miss turns, so when I say something like "Turn here" she gets super mad and is like "I KNOW OK!!!" but she usually always misses turns. Then she says that I yell at her and I never say "Please" or "Thank you" I just demand it. She has been on Birth Control and she keeps blaming it on that, I don't think it causes her to be a bytch. Also she tells me that I never give her enough credit? wtf? and she says I think I know everything. Well, obviously I don't know everything. However, I do stand by things I say that I think are true. Like we'll fight about something stupid like I tell her the name of this song is called this. And then she'll be like "NO IT'S NOT." and I know I'm right, and I have to prove her wrong. Then when I do she feels like sh!t then fights with me about it. Last night she slept over and was like I feel like theres a problem but I don't know what. We ended up having sex and fell asleep. But still that doesn't solve anything. What should I do?
guess the honeymoon stages are over? my gf fights with me all the time
- Thread starter baurman
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Igetit!
Moderator
So the honeymoon's over and the two of you fight a lot,huh? And from what I gathered from your post,it seems to me that it's YOUR fault.
You're the man in this relationship,therefore,it's your responsibilty to lead.
You've been here long enough to know not to listen to what women say.
That thing she said about you saying "please" and "thank you",as if you're 5 years old,don't listen to that. And arguing about things that don't really matter,like the name of a song is just plain juvenile. Let's say that the two of you start to argue over the name of a song,and you're the one who's right.
Does it really matter? By arguing with her,(even if you're right),all you do is make her feel bad. That's ALL you accomplish. You argue her down until she admits you're right,then you get your little ego boost from being right,while she walks off feeling like dirt,and all this over the name of a song?
It's not like you on Jepardy and you risked all your money by making it a "true daily double",and you HAVE to get the answer right. Or like the two of you are trying to diffuse a bomb,and you're arguing over which wire to pull,the red one or the blue one. Unless it's something that's really,really important,don't waste your time and energy arguing over things that don't matter one way or the other,because you might win the arguement,but bit by bit,you're losing your girl.
I believe that the real reason she's arguing and starting fights is because the chemistry she felt when you first started dating has died off a little. She's acting and behaving exactly like you would be doing if there was no sex in the relationship. You would be angry,rude,and unhappy in the relationship as well. In other words,her emotional needs aren't getting met,and yes,it's your fault.
The good news is that this is easy to fix. It's simple. Think back to when you first approached her. To what you said,what you did,the way you talked to her,the way you looked at her,etc. Just go back to treating her like you did in the beginning,do it on your own,without having a talk with her about what's going on. But when you do it, do it a little bit at a time,not all at once,otherwise she'll think you're crazy. If you treat her like you did in the beginning,I guarantee you that she start responding to you like she did in the beginning. Her feeling will change,and even she won't know why.
I know I was a bit hard on you,but I tell it like I see it.
Good luck man.
You're the man in this relationship,therefore,it's your responsibilty to lead.
You've been here long enough to know not to listen to what women say.
That thing she said about you saying "please" and "thank you",as if you're 5 years old,don't listen to that. And arguing about things that don't really matter,like the name of a song is just plain juvenile. Let's say that the two of you start to argue over the name of a song,and you're the one who's right.
Does it really matter? By arguing with her,(even if you're right),all you do is make her feel bad. That's ALL you accomplish. You argue her down until she admits you're right,then you get your little ego boost from being right,while she walks off feeling like dirt,and all this over the name of a song?
It's not like you on Jepardy and you risked all your money by making it a "true daily double",and you HAVE to get the answer right. Or like the two of you are trying to diffuse a bomb,and you're arguing over which wire to pull,the red one or the blue one. Unless it's something that's really,really important,don't waste your time and energy arguing over things that don't matter one way or the other,because you might win the arguement,but bit by bit,you're losing your girl.
I believe that the real reason she's arguing and starting fights is because the chemistry she felt when you first started dating has died off a little. She's acting and behaving exactly like you would be doing if there was no sex in the relationship. You would be angry,rude,and unhappy in the relationship as well. In other words,her emotional needs aren't getting met,and yes,it's your fault.
The good news is that this is easy to fix. It's simple. Think back to when you first approached her. To what you said,what you did,the way you talked to her,the way you looked at her,etc. Just go back to treating her like you did in the beginning,do it on your own,without having a talk with her about what's going on. But when you do it, do it a little bit at a time,not all at once,otherwise she'll think you're crazy. If you treat her like you did in the beginning,I guarantee you that she start responding to you like she did in the beginning. Her feeling will change,and even she won't know why.
I know I was a bit hard on you,but I tell it like I see it.
Good luck man.
everywomanshero
Master Don Juan
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Maybe she's a psycho, maybe you're being a real d1ck with the way you come at her and talk to her. I'm not there, so there's no way to know. Do you think there's any chance you come at people the wrong way or freak out over things yourself? I think someone has an issue, but I can't tell over the Internet.
she says that I yell at her
and I never say "Please" or "Thank you"
she tells me that I never give her enough credit
she says I think I know everything
Like we'll fight about something stupid
and I have to prove her wrong
Good God baurman! Open your ears and eyes and see that the problem is YOU. The girl's been doing you the favor of picking you up for the last month and you never show gratitude? And instead, you fight over things you know are petty, but you just HAVE to prove her wrong about it? You think you're in court or something where you have to win the arguments? No wonder she feels like sh1t around you.
I see exactly what she's saying. You probably don't realize how you come across. Sounds to me like you may be raising your voice, being generally dominating. This kind of behavior kills relationships. KILLS relationships, man. Guys who act like that lose woman after woman until they realize what they're doing that drives them away. If they ever realize it. Some never do, always blaming the woman.
It's that control freak dominating behavior thing. I'm not saying you are a control freak, I'm just saying you're exhibiting too much of that kind of behavior where it's affecting the girl. You're eroding her self-esteem. She's getting resentful and pretending to blame birth control rather then you, that suggests she's holding it inside some, but it's going to build and fester, and she's going to either get depressed or she's going to break up with you sooner or later for her own emotional happiness.
Keep this in mind: You can be happy, or you can be right. Let it go. These things aren't important. If she misses a turn, so be it. If you can't live with it, find another girl. If she has the name of a song wrong and doesn't believe you're correct, who the f#ck cares in the grand scheme of things? If that bothers you, find another girl. Live and let live - or miss her once she's gone.
and I never say "Please" or "Thank you"
she tells me that I never give her enough credit
she says I think I know everything
Like we'll fight about something stupid
and I have to prove her wrong
Good God baurman! Open your ears and eyes and see that the problem is YOU. The girl's been doing you the favor of picking you up for the last month and you never show gratitude? And instead, you fight over things you know are petty, but you just HAVE to prove her wrong about it? You think you're in court or something where you have to win the arguments? No wonder she feels like sh1t around you.
I see exactly what she's saying. You probably don't realize how you come across. Sounds to me like you may be raising your voice, being generally dominating. This kind of behavior kills relationships. KILLS relationships, man. Guys who act like that lose woman after woman until they realize what they're doing that drives them away. If they ever realize it. Some never do, always blaming the woman.
It's that control freak dominating behavior thing. I'm not saying you are a control freak, I'm just saying you're exhibiting too much of that kind of behavior where it's affecting the girl. You're eroding her self-esteem. She's getting resentful and pretending to blame birth control rather then you, that suggests she's holding it inside some, but it's going to build and fester, and she's going to either get depressed or she's going to break up with you sooner or later for her own emotional happiness.
Keep this in mind: You can be happy, or you can be right. Let it go. These things aren't important. If she misses a turn, so be it. If you can't live with it, find another girl. If she has the name of a song wrong and doesn't believe you're correct, who the f#ck cares in the grand scheme of things? If that bothers you, find another girl. Live and let live - or miss her once she's gone.
I see where you guys are coming from. I may be a little controlling, but I'm not used to being AFC like saying "Please" and "thank you" and all that bullsh!t that she requests from me. It's hard for me to compliment her and say "You're the best!" and things like that it just isn't me. So I dont know if we just need to break up or I need to change my ways for her.
It is stupid to argue over a song I mean, I just shouldn't care. I see how stupid i come across after reading the examples. cause I know she feels like shyt afterwards if i prove her wrong and i didn't realize it.
It is stupid to argue over a song I mean, I just shouldn't care. I see how stupid i come across after reading the examples. cause I know she feels like shyt afterwards if i prove her wrong and i didn't realize it.
I.A.F.Y.B.
Master Don Juan
Some of it could be your fault. Some guys try to be alpha/the man/dominate. But, they end up being a$$holes. Saying please and thank you isn't afc. It's a respect thing. Compliments are okay. Just once in awhile.
I'm not sure if I'm right on this. But, some forms of birth control can cause changes in hormones. Could be way she gets mad. Just look back and think why these things are happening.
I'm not sure if I'm right on this. But, some forms of birth control can cause changes in hormones. Could be way she gets mad. Just look back and think why these things are happening.
Being alpha doesn't mean you have to be rude. Saying "please" and "thank you" is gentleman and polite, not AFC.
Like this:
AFC: Oh, please could you pretty please get me a beer from the bar? (If even asking)
-Recives beer.
AFC: Thank you very much, you're so kind! (Slurp slurp, totally see-trough)
ALPHA: Dude, grab me a beer, please!
- beer.
ALPHA: Thanks mate!
Nice, positive and funny is the key to suc"sex"s
Like this:
AFC: Oh, please could you pretty please get me a beer from the bar? (If even asking)
-Recives beer.
AFC: Thank you very much, you're so kind! (Slurp slurp, totally see-trough)
ALPHA: Dude, grab me a beer, please!
- beer.
ALPHA: Thanks mate!
Nice, positive and funny is the key to suc"sex"s
DonGorgon
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Most relationships these days end when the honey moon ends.. peoples life is hard enough as is they dont want to deal with the stress of a boring relationship..
well yeah as already said, saying please etc. isn't chumpish in the least. It's easy to take the alpha thing a bit far (everyones guilty of this sometimes).
Try being a bit nicer to her, and if things don't change, well...
Try being a bit nicer to her, and if things don't change, well...
You are acting like a married couple who have been married for 20 years, instead of a normal guy in his 20's who should be dating and having fun.
My guess is that you really didn't know her very well and you decided to make her your girlfriend (in that short time period you thought you knew her) just because it seems like the easy way to get constant pvssy with no hussle. Well you were wrong and the hussle just begun.
First off, you shouldn't have gotten into LTR with her. It takes time of considerable amount of dating to actually qualify someone to be your girlfriend and not because she agreed to spread her legs for you.
Secondly, chicks are not reliable. Don't ask her to pick you up with the car, ask one of your buddies, your parents or get this problem with your car fix ASAP. That is your problem not hers. She is there to be your girlfriend and not your taxi driver.
Now why the fvck you want to prove her wrong and get into a fight on trivial things such as a song?! you can't be right on everything, so does she need to be in your face when you are wrong?! pick and choose your battles when she really does or say something wrong.
Oh and your chick might have a legit excuse with the birth control pill. I have known a few women who's behaviour were changed when they were on the pill because it fvcks up with their hormonal cycle.
My guess is that you really didn't know her very well and you decided to make her your girlfriend (in that short time period you thought you knew her) just because it seems like the easy way to get constant pvssy with no hussle. Well you were wrong and the hussle just begun.
First off, you shouldn't have gotten into LTR with her. It takes time of considerable amount of dating to actually qualify someone to be your girlfriend and not because she agreed to spread her legs for you.
Secondly, chicks are not reliable. Don't ask her to pick you up with the car, ask one of your buddies, your parents or get this problem with your car fix ASAP. That is your problem not hers. She is there to be your girlfriend and not your taxi driver.
Now why the fvck you want to prove her wrong and get into a fight on trivial things such as a song?! you can't be right on everything, so does she need to be in your face when you are wrong?! pick and choose your battles when she really does or say something wrong.
Oh and your chick might have a legit excuse with the birth control pill. I have known a few women who's behaviour were changed when they were on the pill because it fvcks up with their hormonal cycle.
Daydream Engineer
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DJDamage said:
I agree. Listen to what DJDamage is saying. I think you did not take the time to get to know her better. Also i think you are being way too alpha, be a little nicer to her and compliment her once in a while, remember that she is part of the relationship too. Start behaving the way you did in the beginning of the relationship, and do something fun together. Have you taken her out on a fun date recently?
KontrollerX
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Next...
Thats what you should do.
Continue on with the hassle if you've got a scarcity mentality or enjoy all the fighting bro.
Thats what you should do.
Continue on with the hassle if you've got a scarcity mentality or enjoy all the fighting bro.