TheException said:
Really? I dont see it the same way Danger. I think the attitude that Backbreaker described is pathetic(butthurt) and part of the problem...so we may agree there. HOWEVER....its not some big crazy mystical miracle that certain men make it to 30 w/o drugs, suicidal thoughts etc. There are two types of men:
1.) Strong willed 2.) Weak willed.
I am not trying to "speak down" on weak willed men but to deny their existence would be ignorant. I say with full confidence that ALL MEN experience ups and downs....some handle them better. We should strive to place all men into the "strong willed category". The "weak willed" men are the reason we have suicides, shootings, and the new phenomena of "bullying". I think every man has been bullied or atleast have had someone growing up "pick on you". The difference is while some cried and whined....some stood up for themselves. Its seems in our present culture its ok to cry and "tell on the bully" while "doing something about it" is frowned upon...
If and when I have a son....if he ever comes home and tells me hes getting bullied at school, I will instruct him to stand up for himself. And if he says "but ill get in trouble at school".....Ill say "You wont be in trouble with me".
I think we need to get back to being what our masculine core wants us to be. All this sh1t about suicidal thoughts and getting bullied at school are pathetic. I think it would be a good idea to have men teach a class about learning how to deal with problems and stress to children. It would be much more beneficial than telling them its ok to cry...which I would argue leads to depressive thoughts and a bad attitude in general.
Which laws? I think I have to disagree here, especially being in US. Maybe we have different definitions of success, but I see no law that I would let hinder me from reaching my goals.
You misunderstand my post. I am not saying that the thoughts, which never were seriously suicidal but just more of a deep fog/ depression / apathy towards life are okay. I'm saying it deserves more than the stereotypical "man up" response.
Had there been more advice out there other than "man up" I would have probably gotten where I wanted to get faster. I spent the winter of 2003 in a serious depressive state and didn't get **** done.
My female friend, let's call her D. I don't say this to put her down she's a level headed, driven intelligent woman. But, she's 26, her parents paid for her to go to college, when she got out of college, she moved back home where she still lives while she dates her BF. Not only does she live at home, her parents don't want her to leave! They want her to be married before she leaves the house. This is a college educated woman with a 9 to 5 job that makes good money living at home with her parents.
So she takes her extra money, she starts her business which we built the website for. She's a health nut, she's in stupidly good shape but it's pretty easy to be in stuipdily good shape when you can spend 200 dollars a week on food and supplements, she drives a 2012 Black lexus RX300. Which she can easily pay for because she lives at home with her parents.
One of the arguements that we got into was about her boyfriend. She laments that he's not " on her level".. he's 2 years younger than her, he works all the time, drives a beat up car and lives in a ****ty apartment (but stupidly good looking lol). She doesn't get the fact that she has had every ****ing advantage ever to life and her boyfriend hasn't. Thens he's always talking about her boyfriend is "bringing her down and is always depressed" and i took up for him I was like babe you have no ****ing idea how good you have it. She thinks becuase she "gives her parents money all the time" that it's the same as having a mortgage. she's like yeah I have a car note. I'm like yeah that's ALL you have lol. You make like 5 grand a month between her business and her 9 to 5 i'm pretty sure i could swing a 500 dollar car payment as well if that's all i had on my plate lol.
My wife is the same way. My wife lived in France, she's from England, she's lived in New Zealand and she's lived here. Whenever we go out of the country, like we.. we actually conceived our son in Paris, she's always hte one that takes the lead. I've been to Dubai before but before her I've never seriously traveled. She's always saying stuff like "I can't believe you don't travel" " I can't believe you've never done this" and i snapped on her one day and I said "yeah I was busy working, it's easy to travel when you have your parents security blanket" whenever she needed money it was a phone call and a walk to western union away. Who the **** can't be cultured if this is your life lol.
So you take a woman, who has the same job as a man, and because they aren't paying student loans back because no father is going to make his little girl pay for college (at least up to a bachelor's degree, which is ironically where most women stop going to school lol) who lives at home or lives on the dime of their parents and give them all this extra freedom and money and they honestly "mature" faster than men do in the sense that they don't have to stress over the things the avg 24 year old male has to stress out over.
even if guys were just as desirable as women were in their mid to early 20's there are other mitigating factors that keep men from seriously going out and dating like women. A man's primary purpose in his 20's is survival and once he gets to that point, he has to then try to "come up"
Then the same women, lament about men not being "mature"
And all the while men have to find a way to hold it together and understand that it does get better. It really does. But that's easier said than done. your 20's for the most part sucks. Not even so much because you are single. I can live with being single. It sucks because everyone is telling you becuase you aren't at the same level as your female counterparts, and as you can see from the above, that's not fair, that you are a loser and you need to man up
That's why i hate man up so much.