GRIPE: Women refuse to be introspective

[MtnMan]

I just had to drop a plate. I was feeling bad about stringing her along for sex when she really really wants me as a boyfriend so I cut her loose as nicely as I could. I didn't play into any of her drama, and I wished her well.

The main reason why I wouldnt consider an LTR with this gir was the fact that she smoked cigs, and didnt take great care of her body. Other than that she was cool, but those two things together were killing it for me. She saw no problem with either of those things, so I decided to let her go.

She has been hitting me with "guys are so stupid and immature, they never know what they want!" and also posting stuff like that all over facebook.

It annoys me quite a lot. This girl could change her situation. I'm sure she is sick of getting pump and dumped, but the reality she is 28, and I can see the wall coming HARD for her if she doesn't make some lifestyle changes. Of course I didn't bother trying to explain any of this to her.

Her friends commented all over her facebook posts about how stupid boys are etc.

The reality is I know EXACTLY what I want, and girls like her are not it. I got dumped by my girl last year, and I never posted anything about how stupid girls are, I set out to improve myself in every way possible in hopes of creating a better outcome with women. I realized the reason she left was my fault combined with her natural hypergamous ways. It worked very well, and I keep learning valuable life lessons in the process.

It annoys the hell out of me that most women refuse to do this. This girl could bring herself up in the market place by quitting smoking, eating better, and hitting the gym a few times a week. She would probably have a much better chance of keeping a man like me around.

Instead she posts on facebook and calls me a boy not a man. I choose not to defend myself and take the high road. So I post on here to commiserate with my fellow men.

 

[Bible_Belt]

She's advertising her new availability. I guarantee she is getting PMs from guys saying, "be with me. I'm not like that other guy."

 

[badboyjmm]

^We've got a winner

Accountability was never a woman's great trait. In fact everything they do correct is because they are awesome, everything they do wrong is because of someone else.

 

[MtnMan]

she already has a bunch of white knites posting "boys are confusing, find yourself a man"

so wanting to post "a man knows what he wants in a woman, and will walk away from a woman who does not have what he wants"

 

[El Payaso]

Stop looking at her Facebook. Problem solved. Cut EVERY and ALL ties from her. It's dangerous to keep checking in on her because sooner or later, you'll cave in and post a response. There goes all your power.

The more she's mad at you, the more she falls in love with you. Let her get mad and whine and rant. When she sees you don't give a sh!t. It will only do her in more. If you respond, it will allow her to move on even faster.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Soooo... this is the part I hate on these boards as it pertains to the whole "spinning plates" thing:

The main reason why I wouldnt consider an LTR with this gir was the fact that she smoked cigs, and didnt take great care of her body. Other than that she was cool, but those two things together were killing it for me. She saw no problem with either of those things, so I decided to let her go.

Spinning plates is great for not being too needy in the beginning with any particular chick, but ideally you'd be spinning plates with girls who already have qualities you'd like in a long-term girlfriend (assuming that's the route you're trying to go - if not, ignore the rest of this rant, lol). This chick was smoking cigs and not taking care of her body when you met her, and you KNEW she was this way, yet decided to continue on anyway in the hopes of having sex with her. Kudos on a job well done in that respect, but did you ever stop to think that this chick could possibly catch feelings for you? You need to take consideration of how attached a woman may get should you (a) treat her well, (b) have sex with her, (c) have GOOD sex with her, and (d) stand out to her more than the other clowns who are chasing her. Because, just like guys on here don't like it when girls play with their emotions, it's equally not fair to do it to them either.

Bottom line: if she was showing signs in the beginning that she may not be the girl for you, you shouldn't have pursued it, or have done so thinking you could change her ('cause you can't - only SHE can make that decision). Sure, you would have missed hooking up with her, but most vagina feels the same, and your rocks could have been gotten off elsewhere with someone more in the running for potential girlfriend.

 

[El Payaso]

Soooo... this is the part I hate on these boards as it pertains to the whole "spinning plates" thing:



Spinning plates is great for not being too needy in the beginning with any particular chick, but ideally you'd be spinning plates with girls who already have qualities you'd like in a long-term girlfriend (assuming that's the route you're trying to go - if not, ignore the rest of this rant, lol). This chick was smoking cigs and not taking care of her body when you met her, and you KNEW she was this way, yet decided to continue on anyway in the hopes of having sex with her. Kudos on a job well done in that respect, but did you ever stop to think that this chick could possibly catch feelings for you? You need to take consideration of how attached a woman may get should you (a) treat her well, (b) have sex with her, (c) have GOOD sex with her, and (d) stand out to her more than the other clowns who are chasing her. Because, just like guys on here don't like it when girls play with their emotions, it's equally not fair to do it to them either.

Bottom line: if she was showing signs in the beginning that she may not be the girl for you, you shouldn't have pursued it, or have done so thinking you could change her ('cause you can't - only SHE can make that decision). Sure, you would have missed hooking up with her, but most vagina feels the same, and your rocks could have been gotten off elsewhere with someone more in the running for potential girlfriend.

You have really turned into a white knight. You used to post good things now you just post white knight style.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

It's not about being a "white knight" - from day one my advice has been about how to get girls with the intent of getting int a relationship with them. But I also know what it's like to be used by women for (insert activity: dates, money, sex, ego, etc.) and it doesn't feel good. So no, I'm not going to advocate things like hooking up with a girl a guy doesn't really have interest in just to have sex with her. I've been the guy that's done that to women who really, REALLY wanted to be in a relationship with me, and saw how hurt I was making them when I did these things then just got rid of them. And - as much of an ego boost as it can be to have messages on your phone where girls are crying and begging you to stay - in the end you just end up feeling lousy for wasting a girl's time for selfish reasons.

If that makes me a white knight, so be it - but at least it makes my conscious feel a lot clearer.

 

[Jaylan]

You have really turned into a white knight. You used to post good things now you just post white knight style.

Calm the heck down. Theres nothing white knight about common decency and treating people how you want them to treat you.

That said, we as man need to stop sleeping with women we consider lower quality. Sleeping with such women is what gives them egos and a sense of entitlement. Im guilty of sleeping with women I consider not good enough for me, and Ive made sure not to make that mistake anymore.

PS - Im also the first person to call out anyone who b!tches about the opposite sex on facebook. I had to watch that immature crap back in the day on myspace. Luckily Ive only seen one or two people on my friends list do that on Facebook.

 

[_sideways_]

The dude broke up with her after he realized she was not going to stop smoking or go for a jog once a day.

Everyone has their dislikes....he gave her a fair shot. Im sure he voiced his concerns.

She knows she needs to workout, and refuses. So he bounced. He let her down nicely even.

He was not a jerk about it. Just came here to comment on her bratty behavior and then somw people say he should have known better that she wasnt going to get in shape, etc.

He cant see the future. ...give us a break...

 

[Kailex]

Once you realize that women will never be introspective, your life will become MUCH simpler.

They will never look within for anything even remotely close to "fault". It's always an external force acting upon them, whether it's "boys", "thyroid", "weather isn't good enough to go to the gym", etc, etc, etc...

The only introspection is reflection upon what they are going to wear the next time they go out. Sometimes, they might be introspective about dessert.

But that's about it.

 

[_sideways_]

Lol dessert....true

 

[skinnyguy]

There are two schools of thought on this board:

1) Work out, be alpha, and bang women/spin plates

2) Stop caring about women, don't do anything in order to attract women, you should be secure with yourself without being dependent on women

The guys in boat #2 are pretty much delusional and defeated. They are allergic to any kind of human relationships and probably fap 3 times a day.

I agree with Harry Wilmington on most of his posts because he's not like one of those delusional retards.

 

[VladPatton]

But, but...that's what they do...plaster their opinions on social media at the first sign of something going awry. Sandwiched in between the pics of the fried chicken they're about to devour and cute photos of their cat wearing a pink tutu.

 

[rascal99v]

I just had to drop a plate. I was feeling bad about stringing her along for sex when she really really wants me as a boyfriend so I cut her loose as nicely as I could. I didn't play into any of her drama, and I wished her well.

There should be no reason for you to feel bad at all. She was partaking in the sex as well, and there is no crime in not wanting to be in a relationship just for the sake of being in one. That is what AFC's do and wind up getting screwed over when they get dumped for their beta behavior. :yes:

The main reason why I wouldnt consider an LTR with this gir was the fact that she smoked cigs, and didnt take great care of her body. Other than that she was cool, but those two things together were killing it for me. She saw no problem with either of those things, so I decided to let her go.

Next time make it more clear to these women that you just want to bust a nut so your lines don't get crossed.

If this chick isn't up to your standards or liking, then you have every right to drop her.

This is the whole point of dating a chick first, to see if she is quality for an LTR. If she isn't what you want or like, then you get somebody else and tell her that she isn't right for you. Not sure why anybody would disagree about that.

Why the hell would you hang on to girl you didn't like? That doesn't make any sense to me.

Do you think she would do that for you? Fvck no, she wouldn't. She would drop your ass in a second to be with a guy she really likes. Why would you feel lousy for getting rid something you don't want?

Anytime you are dating, talking, touching, kissing, fvcking, there are feelings that will develop, that is only natural. And one person might feel more strongly about the other person than the other. Sometimes it just doesn't work out and one person is looking for something different. Other times the person will turn the other person off and it doesn't work out. That's what happens with relationships.

Are you just going to keep her so her feelings don't get hurt if she turns you off? That's pretty fvcking stupid if you ask me.

Not every man can obtain a hot chick, so he does the best that he can.

As you are dating or spinning plates, and can see the chick isn't what you thought, you let her go, there is no problem in doing that.

She has been hitting me with "guys are so stupid and immature, they never know what they want!" and also posting stuff like that all over facebook.

Her friends commented all over her facebook posts about how stupid boys are etc.

What do you think women do when they get dumped or dump a guy? They talk about it on Facebook so their girlfriends can give them support as they bash men. That is their media outlet to do that. As that is happening, AFC's are kissing her ass offering their condolences wanting to be the next guy in line to get into her pants.

The reality is I know EXACTLY what I want, and girls like her are not it.

Then why are you banging her? The truth is, you can't always get what you want, so that is why some men have to settle for what they can get, but are not happy with that chick. Then people like Harry criticize them for wanting sex.

When a woman is really into a man, she will do things to improve herself like lose weight and quitting smoking.

This girl could bring herself up in the market place by quitting smoking, eating better, and hitting the gym a few times a week. She would probably have a much better chance of keeping a man like me around.

Why should she when you have no problem fvcking her as a plate and other dudes are waiting to get in line after you? She still has horny men waiting get in her pvssy so basically she doesn't need to do a damn thing.

If she isn't up to your standards from the start, don't get involved, that is your fault for doing so.

Instead she posts on facebook and calls me a boy not a man. I choose not to defend myself and take the high road.

And you know why she did that, she is pissed off because she wanted more, and you didn't.

Again, there is no crime in letting a chick go for any reason at all. The worst thing you can ever do, is to be forced to be in, or to stay in a relationship you don't want to be in. That is what AFC's and betas do.

Just remember, that a chick will have no problem doing the same thing to you when she is feeling the same way. :yes:

but did you ever stop to think that this chick could possibly catch feelings for you? You need to take consideration of how attached a woman may get should you (a) treat her well, (b) have sex with her, (c) have GOOD sex with her, and (d) stand out to her more than the other clowns who are chasing her. Because, just like guys on here don't like it when girls play with their emotions, it's equally not fair to do it to them either.

If you're worried about hurting a woman's feelings, then you should get out of the dating game altogether and quit giving out advice, because if the relationship doesn't survive, one person is going to end up getting hurt regardless. :yes:

Somewhere in the world right now, a woman is telling a man that their relationship is over or that he isn't good enough for her. I'm pretty sure that the man's feelings are getting hurt right about now over what the woman said. And you're worried about her feelings when she can do the same thing to the man? What the hell is wrong with you?

Again, the whole purpose of dating is to see if the chick is worth being in a relationship with. As you are dating her, you are screening for a potential LTR if that is your goal.

During that time, if you learn different things about that particular chick that you don't like, you have every right to let her go if she isn't suitable for you.

Are you just going to be in a relationship just for the hell of it even if she has some qualities you find out you don't like because you are afraid she caught some feelings? That would be very stupid. :yes:

I was fvcking a girl on the regular last year and I found out that she was doing drugs without my knowledge. She had the qualities that I liked, and any guy would jump at the chance to fvck her. I let her go after I found out, because I didn't want someone around who was involved in drugs no matter what she looked like or how good of a person she was. So should I have to be in a LTR with her because I was fvcking her and didn't want to hurt her feelings? Should I have to put up with her drug use because I will "feel lousy for wasting her time"? What about my time being wasted when she was too stoned to hang out? What about my wasted time if I got in an LTR with her drug problem? If you're putting the chick's needs well above yours, you are a AFC and a damn fool because you will be the one ending up getting screwed. That is what you are endorsing here Harry.

Yes, she was upset that I dropped her, but she got over it and moved on.

After my girlfriend was killed in a car accident, I went through a lot of girls to find one who was remotely even close to her. I didn't feel lousy at all letting women go or spinning plates to find someone who was worth being in an LTR with. It took me a while to find a good one, but I finally did.

I've found that most women today are not worth being in a relationship with. Girls I dated or had as fvck buddies were not the type girls that would be good for an LTR. So, i just fvcked them. These chicks knew the conditions and that was that. I didn't settle just to say I was in a relationship.

This is why relationships don't last and why men come here to ask for advice. They settle for a chick just to have sex with and to say they have a girlfriend. These guys are AFC and betas to the core allowing the chick to be in charge. The chick gets tired of him being a weak man so she looks elsewhere for a better man. She will dump and cheat on the guy while breaking his heart and he comes here to look for answers. The same men that you try to offer advice to after the fact Harry.

What you should be doing is spin some plates, look around, screen the women really well before you enter into a relationship. I want a relationship to be worthwhile and one that has meaning, one that I can be happy in and know that I have something good. If you have to go through lots of women like I did to find a good one, then that is what you need to do, and don't feel bad about it. It's stupid to be in a sh1tty relationship just to be in one.

Harry, I'm not trying to insult you here, but after everything you've seen men going through on this site, I would think you should know better not to give out this lousy AFC advice trying to shame a man for wanting something better in a woman. You've seen first hand how sh1tty women treat men and you are concerned about their feelings when they have no problem doing the same thing to a man.

Sh1t, 4 months down the road she could have dumped him for another guy. What would you say then?

Quit trying to make men feel bad in here about getting what they want and improving themselves because you are worried about a woman's feelings.

I've seen plenty of really good guys get fvcked over by women when they put the woman's feelings above their own, because they were just like you, afraid of hurting them. So, they stuck around to get fvcked over while the woman moved on with another man. Want to know what sucks about that Harry? The women didn't care that they hurt the man's feelings at all.

Anytime that you play the game of love with women, someone is going to get hurt. If you are afraid of getting hurt yourself or hurting her, then you shouldn't even get in the game to begin with.

 

[Shaka]

MtnMan,

I followed all your progress and it was also therapeutic for me in a way, so thanks for sharing.

Maybe you should (re)read anti-dump machine in the bible. I think you will be able relate.

 

[Greasy Pig]

In my plate spinning days, I lived by a strict code which severely reduced the chances of these women getting hurt.
1. I saw them twice a week at most.
2. I didn't contact them between meetings and curtailed any attempts by them to initiate contact with me. Sometimes I'd go a couple of weeks without seeing them and only maintaining light and sporadic text contact to keep them engaged.
3. Made it clear that I was a confirmed bachelor and not ready for a serious relationship.
4. Never took them out on dates. Just organised to meet at mine or theirs (usually theirs so I could make an excuse to leave). Maybe take a bottle of wine and talked for an hour before getting down to business. Either that or organise to meet them out at a bar but only when I was already going to be out with friends.
5. Absolutely, positively no sleepovers.
6. No deep and meaningful conversations or "pillow talk". I'd bust a nut and be gone or indicating to them that they had to leave within 30mins. Except if I was feeling particularly horny and then I'd stick around for round two but always obeyed the "no sleepovers" rule.
7. No Facebook friend adds or acceptance of their friend requests.
8. Never made them a priority. I made it bluntly clear that I was my main priority and not always available. Unapologetically so.
9. At the first hint of drama, jealousy, butthurt-ness, neediness, catching feelings, psychotic indicators or withholding of sex, they were nexted. No explanation, no official break up. I would either pull right back until their behaviour improved or I just went ghost.
10. Basically just made it brutally clear that I was "Mr Goodfvck" whom was available to give them carnal pleasure but no emotional support.

I very, very rarely had to formally end it with any of these girls because they knew what we had was purely sexual. Of course a few caught feelings and tried to push for more but I was always honest and reminded them that they knew I was emotionally unavailable right from the start.
The way I justified it was that we were two adults engaging in a mutually agreed sexual relationship. If a woman got hurt, it wasn't my fault because I never led them on or lied.

 

[Jaylan]

^Number 3 is key, and is what I make sure a woman knows from the jump. I never lead on or lie. If I notice the woman and I are not on the same page, I dont move forward.

 

[jurry]

Lets please stop with this attitude like the girl is not a grown up who can make her own decisions. Its one thing to lead a girl on telling her that shes your girl etc. and lying to keep her around, but this is not what it sounds like mtnman was doing here.

If you are straight up with a girl and she knows you two are not exclusive, she has no one to blame but herself for taking the gamble and hoping things work out with you two. Everyone takes a gamble every single time they see someone. When i get burned by a girl (happened plenty of times), i dont go blaming others and whining about women. Thats the game we're playing, grow up and deal with it.. Man and woman alike.

Great post. As has been said many times, watch what women do not what they say. She'll whine about bad boys and being hurt on facebook but yet she keeps going back to them.

 

[logicallefty]

She has been hitting me with "guys are so stupid and immature, they never know what they want!" and also posting stuff like that all over facebook.

A male friend of the 41yo I just dumped contacted me recently. He is married so I don't think he is orbiting in that way.

He advised me that my ex is still talking smack about me on FB after we broke up over a month ago, and he was getting sick of reading it, and knew I was a good guy so he wanted to let me know.

I texted her and told her I would sue her for "libel" if she didn't stop it. (libel is slander/defamation in a form of writing). I may be going back to being a cop soon I don't need that sh|t. She tried to deny posting anything because she knew I don't have a FB anymore and with privacy settings I couldn't see it if I trolled. But then I bluffed and told her I already had screenshots and had seen it. She back peddled of course. Told me she was still hurt over our breakup and had nobody to talk to which is horse cr@p. She has plenty of both FB and real life friends.

Then later the same day she deactivated her FB completely!! :rockon:

I find this funny considering how addicted to FB she is, but I have to wonder if she did it because she knows her own will power and knows that she won't be able to stop posting the drama about me if she has the account at all.