Greetings, fellow self-improvers. I've got a problem. (Long)

[Bagheera]

I've been reading a bit of the bibles and posts, and am hoping to start new. (I joined back in '01)

I'm ready to enter this site and learn what I need to learn.

Since I have posted this... if I may, post a major problem I have.

(Let's save some forum space)

I am 16, and moved to a new city.

The problem is that I am socially challenged. The past 2 or 3 years, I've someone indulged myself into computer gaming/tv watching after coming home from school. My schedule would be I came home from school, did my homework (sometimes half-assed) and rushed to play my online multiplayer game. It was so sad, that I played until 10 - 11 pm, until I was ready to start a new day.

Mind you, just because I played did not mean I had fun! I had social problems at school for at least 1-2 years. I've had maybe 1 friend last year, and a few aquaintances, but nothing like the typical 50 friend circle.

Anyways...

In this new town Ive left the past behind, school has started and I'd like to make a name for myself here. The problem is, I am still socially disabled.

At school I always am self-conscious. You WOULDN'T believe it! I worry about what girls think of my pants, my shirt, my face, my voice, I even worry what guys think about me (IE: cool/uncool etc...

Now when I try to tell myself, "Don't think about it", it just makes it worse. Such as when I say:

Do NOT think about a Zebra

You just thought of it, see?

I worry about my smell, my breath, extremely too much. I'd say it's not normal.

Now I came here to improve myself (and get maybe some p*ssy) but maybe that's a good sign that I came here for about 90% myself and maybe 10% for women.

I have a freaking inner passion for soccer. When I was 6 - 10 I played it everyday, I loved it! After I stoped, I don't like any sports. On my way to school at lunch, I don't have the balls to ask if I can play soccer with them. (I am extremely self-consious -- otherwise put 'shy')

I just would first like to learn how to just DO IT! like many people said.

I fidget at school. When I walk to school (on the street) I keep telling myself to put my head up straight or I might look 'unconfident' but then I tell myself, to look in other directions or Ill look like some stuck up f*cking ass.

I came here for help, some constructive criticism, and to make myself a guy that does not care what others thing.

You don't know how much Id LOVE to have that mindset.

I just need some inspiration/examples - because I am more socially handicapped than most people. Mind you I AM reading posts, and am going to start trying.

Weird though - things like when people say "Hug that girl" or "Smile at People" when I read it, it makes me want to go do it, when I leave for school the next day (or maybe when I leave in a couple minutes) but when I step out the door, and see the first person, all of that just FLIES out of me...

I am truly a FRUSTRATED ............... c .. ch... guy.

I come here for help, for myself, not women but me.

Thanks for reading, I hope someday I will become the person I dream to be.


*Note - one more thing - This is the reason I am not good at making friends. I'm not an *******, I just haven't developed these social skills/habits. Although Ive met a few (5 - 7) decent people at skill, which don't seem to be ****y/friendly cool people.

I'm afraid though that if I try to impress these people too much, they may think Im desperate or something...

Not to be going over the edge, but I sometimes TRY, otherwise if I don't try, they'll think I don't give 1 sh*t about them, and then blow me off...

Alright, thanks again.

 

[PiHiPlaya]

1. You're hear for you and willing to change... good first step.
2. Go on the boot camp
3. It's difficult, but you just gotta ****ing get over! stop caring.. you litereally have to make yourself stop caring!
4. Affirmations if you think it helps

 

[Nocturnal]

http://sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=23151

that should get you started. i like your thinking .

 

[DirkPitt]

Haha. well, i kinda had that same problem but not as huge...here's the solution that helped me...
I made the jump from self concious dude to a self confient man in a period of 2 weeks...

I went to a dance club w/ a female friend of mine and i forced my self concious ass to dance. After you move around like a f*ckin idiot for a while w/ ur crotch pressed against some hot girl's ass and u start getting hard but u just odn't care and the music gets ya, and theres people everywehre...then u stop caring what people think of u when u walk...haha. seriously, its done wonders for me.

 

[Bagheera]

The problem is, is that I am still do damn shy to approach a dance club . . .

 

[Bagheera]

Also, I'm too chicken to work on social skills, and go out or do anything. The past 1-2 years Ive been at home all day, so my case is a little different. I can't possibly imagine what "I" could do.

Im to scared to do things, or I don't know what to do. People post about these things and how to fix them . . I will try but . . .


... I am in a different situation than most people.

 

[THA REALNESS]

LOl, edit . I hate long posts . If you saw that ,than listen to it.

But basically what i'm saying is ,like i tell everyone here is be yourself .

Make sure you really wanna change something about yourself ,before you go destroying and rebuilding yourself. Don't change for anybody .

Just keep putting in work, if
you want it that bad.

 

[Sammo]

My input

The problem here is that you are extremely socially isolated as well as being extremely insecure, we have all been there at some time or another and its hard.

The first thing you have to do is realise how much if a little girl you are being, people arent constantly looking at/judging you, if your not "COOL" then they dont give a **** about you. No one will care if you ask to play soccer with a bunch of guys, whats the worst that can happen... They say no! WO!

Stop being such a little girl, grow up and embrace your masculinity. Your going to do it one day, or else your doomed to social isolation for the rest of your life.

Do a bootcamp to ofrce yourself, if thats to hard then check out my Easy Does it series, there is only 2 parts at the moment but it should keep you occupied for a while.

Good luck.

 

[homedog893]

just join a f****** club. AFter i joined one, i felt totall secure about who i was with and eventually with myself and it builds self-confidence really quickly.

 

[Bagheera]

Originally posted by homedog893
just join a f****** club. AFter i joined one, i felt totall secure about who i was with and eventually with myself and it builds self-confidence really quickly.

Your going to laugh when I say this . . .

I wanted to join one, but then thought to myself, "I should only join if I'm good" - I didn't want to be in a soccer club when I couldn't kick for ****. (As I haven't played for a LONG time)

But I am taking the advice, and am almost through the first section of boot camp. (Get a Boost Up)

Thanks all.

 

[Dig the Funk]

One thing: I don't believe in having to be with a "circle of friends." You can be extremely competent socially and sexually without "hanging out" all day. In fact, spending too much time with peers could be self-defeating in that you lose mystery and your personal priorities. Then again, hermits aren't cool. Feel the winds and don't be pressured into adapting a completely foreign lifestyle.