great sex..says we should stop?

[bukowski_merit]

I've been down this road a thousand times (being that i am often with women who have husbands/boy friends; or who are freshly broken up)... My take:

1) There's no possibility this woman has only been with this other guy. If she was and he was as bad in bed as she makes him out to be - there's no way she'd have the capacity to have or enjoy the sex as much as she did; nor would she give it up so easy. She's a classic High Sex Drive (HSD) woman (which is caused by chemical imbalances); and those women don't happen overnight.
2) Because she's HSD and you gave her really great sex - i can guarentee that she'll be back for more. Maybe not this week, or maybe not next week - but she will be back. That is unless you are just one of many (and you could be).
3) Besides being HSD - she is also LSE (low self esteem) - this means she inherently wants to be treated like sh!t. This means she's attracted to drama (same reason she answered her phone and told him you had fvcked). This means when she said to you "we're friends. i just dont think we should" - she wanted a FIGHT! she wanted you to be nasty to her... it would have turned her on and got her wet... it would have confirmed in her LSE mind that she is worthless ("another guy treating me like i should be treated")... By taking the high road of "ok i understand" - you evaporated a lot of her desire for you.
4) BPD? As i've expressed in the thread in MM - i am not comfortable listening to anyone on a message board diagnose what sounds like typical attention wh@re/LSE/HSD behavior as a mental disease; not saying she couldn't have it - but people are too quick to throw it around on here. Most women who are freshly broken up are super confused and in a really fragile state mentally. They can look for acceptance in new people to fill voids, as well as try extra hard to impress people... None of this really matters though - All that matters is that this girl is clearly a problem. She is clearly NOT the nice girl that "people" told you she was.
5) So, What should you do from here? Depends on how much you're willing to risk. Your sanity? Your dreams? Your life? Don't mean to sound dramatic here, but i've been with many women like this (cheating women are almost always crazy). And it IS euphoric at first; undoubtly one of the highest highs you can feel for a little while. Especially since they will normally put down their past or present husbands/boy friends and lift you up on a pedestal (ego stroking). But drama will be prevalent and after a few months - things will get really crazy. She will also be one of the best lays ever! But what is that worth to you? Look at the whole picture.
6) If you knew for sure that you could lock up your heart - i could write plenty of things that can be done. very simple things. These women are easy, and make it easier by revealing a lot through their words (esoteric stuff).

To put it simply - with women like this:

Drama = Horny

And you would certainly need to keep the drama level up or she would bring her own drama.... Which is what this poor guy she calls a boyfriend probably experiences every day of his life with her... And get this - i can almost guarantee that she's already told him how much better you are in bed than he is; because this will irritate him and get him worked up... and get her... wet...

"time to be the man she deserves" is just sad....

 

[sodbuster]

Could be revenge sex-I had it once with a woman who just found out her ex husband knocked up his GF. BUT all the rest of the low quality issues posted are true.

 

[falconslax89]

I've been down this road a thousand times (being that i am often with women who have husbands/boy friends; or who are freshly broken up)... My take:

1) There's no possibility this woman has only been with this other guy. If she was and he was as bad in bed as she makes him out to be - there's no way she'd have the capacity to have or enjoy the sex as much as she did; nor would she give it up so easy. She's a classic High Sex Drive (HSD) woman (which is caused by chemical imbalances); and those women don't happen overnight.
2) Because she's HSD and you gave her really great sex - i can guarentee that she'll be back for more. Maybe not this week, or maybe not next week - but she will be back. That is unless you are just one of many (and you could be).
3) Besides being HSD - she is also LSE (low self esteem) - this means she inherently wants to be treated like sh!t. This means she's attracted to drama (same reason she answered her phone and told him you had fvcked). This means when she said to you "we're friends. i just dont think we should" - she wanted a FIGHT! she wanted you to be nasty to her... it would have turned her on and got her wet... it would have confirmed in her LSE mind that she is worthless ("another guy treating me like i should be treated")... By taking the high road of "ok i understand" - you evaporated a lot of her desire for you.
4) BPD? As i've expressed in the thread in MM - i am not comfortable listening to anyone on a message board diagnose what sounds like typical attention wh@re/LSE/HSD behavior as a mental disease; not saying she couldn't have it - but people are too quick to throw it around on here. Most women who are freshly broken up are super confused and in a really fragile state mentally. They can look for acceptance in new people to fill voids, as well as try extra hard to impress people... None of this really matters though - All that matters is that this girl is clearly a problem. She is clearly NOT the nice girl that "people" told you she was.
5) So, What should you do from here? Depends on how much you're willing to risk. Your sanity? Your dreams? Your life? Don't mean to sound dramatic here, but i've been with many women like this (cheating women are almost always crazy). And it IS euphoric at first; undoubtly one of the highest highs you can feel for a little while. Especially since they will normally put down their past or present husbands/boy friends and lift you up on a pedestal (ego stroking). But drama will be prevalent and after a few months - things will get really crazy. She will also be one of the best lays ever! But what is that worth to you? Look at the whole picture.
6) If you knew for sure that you could lock up your heart - i could write plenty of things that can be done. very simple things. These women are easy, and make it easier by revealing a lot through their words (esoteric stuff).

To put it simply - with women like this:

Drama = Horny

And you would certainly need to keep the drama level up or she would bring her own drama.... Which is what this poor guy she calls a boyfriend probably experiences every day of his life with her... And get this - i can almost guarantee that she's already told him how much better you are in bed than he is; because this will irritate him and get him worked up... and get her... wet...

"time to be the man she deserves" is just sad....

what exactly did you mean by number 6?

 

[ThatMysteriousGuy]

I agree with MysteriousGuy, but the only thing I personally wouldnt agree on would be avoiding the sex talk.

I'll tell you the main reason I avoid sex talk with women when not having sex, it's about a peculiarity they have due to the fact they gossip so damned much. Flirty with sex innuendo is ok, not direct sex talk.

ANY SUBJECT YOU TALK ABOUT IN FRONT OF A WOMAN SHE'LL AUTOMATICALLY ASSUME YOU TALK ABOUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND OFTEN IN MUCH MORE DETAIL. "I only talk about this with you" WILL NOT BE BELIEVED. EVER.

This is because of the thousands and thousands of times they've seen girls not be able to shut their mouths about what they talk about...even secrets.They assume men will do exactly the same...if they talk about it, they'll talk about it with others.
This is why women will often be inhibited, they're terrified of being seen as a slutty girl and worry that you'll be high fiving your friends or telling on her if you break up.

BUT, if you always pull the "gentlemen don't talk about sex with women" card, even refusing to talk about sex with exes, she'll assume you never do it and she won't worry about that aspect of uninhibited sex and the thought she's got a tight-lipped guy will make her hot. This means not even talking about it with her except when having sex. Things like "i should spank you tonight you bad girl" don't count. That's flirty, not talking directly about sex.

Again, ANY SUBJECT YOU TALK ABOUT IN FRONT OF A WOMAN SHE'LL AUTOMATICALLY ASSUME YOU TALK ABOUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND OFTEN IN MUCH MORE DETAIL. "I only talk about this with you" WILL NOT BE BELIEVED. EVER.

You can joke a little bit and such if it comes up in conversation, but the tiniest hint she hears or suspects you talking about her or an ex regarding anything about sex you're screwed. She won't ever trust you to keep your mouth shut about it.

Also, if you're in an LTR and already in the stratosphere sex-wise, that may be an exception.

This sounds rather strict but I'll tell you something, you're missing out if you don't try this with even one girl. Pretend you don't ever think of the subject unless you're going to do it. If she probes around, pull the "gentlemen don't..." card. She'll be much more uninhibited. She'll want to try stuff that she always wanted to but feared facing it in public. Really. Try it a with a few girls in the future. What women want most to have the best time with sex is to never be facing consequences.

 

[AMDG]

so should i ignore her even if she tries to contact me

Obviously. Imagine her doing to you the same circus freakshow you just witnessed.

 

[katatonia]

Bahahaha after reading your last update and KontrollerX's great analysis it seems I was right after all... clear HPD/BPD attention wh0re.

so should i ignore her even if she tries to contact me

Well it depends on you.

Can you handle just using this girl for sex and remain completely emotionally detached for the rest of your relationship with this girl? If so you can take advice from my first post and bang her brains out for as long as you please. From your last post though it seems to me that you are already mind-fvcked and emotionally involved with this girl which is a bad sign, so watch out. As I said before, it's up to you in the end if you think you can handle it.

If you want to get her out of your life you can just go completely no contact and she should eventually leave you alone (of course she will keep trying for a long time to get a response out of you). This will hurt her too.

I recommend you disregard every post in this thread besides mine and KontrollerX's because it is quite obvious that this girl has HPD or perhaps BPD which means she is completely different to a normal woman and their analysis/advice is therefore inaccurate.

Keep us updated.

 

[eaglez1177]

I'll tell you the main reason I avoid sex talk with women when not having sex, it's about a peculiarity they have due to the fact they gossip so damned much. Flirty with sex innuendo is ok, not direct sex talk.

ANY SUBJECT YOU TALK ABOUT IN FRONT OF A WOMAN SHE'LL AUTOMATICALLY ASSUME YOU TALK ABOUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND OFTEN IN MUCH MORE DETAIL. "I only talk about this with you" WILL NOT BE BELIEVED. EVER.

This is because of the thousands and thousands of times they've seen girls not be able to shut their mouths about what they talk about...even secrets.They assume men will do exactly the same...if they talk about it, they'll talk about it with others.
This is why women will often be inhibited, they're terrified of being seen as a slutty girl and worry that you'll be high fiving your friends or telling on her if you break up.

BUT, if you always pull the "gentlemen don't talk about sex with women" card, even refusing to talk about sex with exes, she'll assume you never do it and she won't worry about that aspect of uninhibited sex and the thought she's got a tight-lipped guy will make her hot. This means not even talking about it with her except when having sex. Things like "i should spank you tonight you bad girl" don't count. That's flirty, not talking directly about sex.

Again, ANY SUBJECT YOU TALK ABOUT IN FRONT OF A WOMAN SHE'LL AUTOMATICALLY ASSUME YOU TALK ABOUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS AND OFTEN IN MUCH MORE DETAIL. "I only talk about this with you" WILL NOT BE BELIEVED. EVER.

You can joke a little bit and such if it comes up in conversation, but the tiniest hint she hears or suspects you talking about her or an ex regarding anything about sex you're screwed. She won't ever trust you to keep your mouth shut about it.

Also, if you're in an LTR and already in the stratosphere sex-wise, that may be an exception.

This sounds rather strict but I'll tell you something, you're missing out if you don't try this with even one girl. Pretend you don't ever think of the subject unless you're going to do it. If she probes around, pull the "gentlemen don't..." card. She'll be much more uninhibited. She'll want to try stuff that she always wanted to but feared facing it in public. Really. Try it a with a few girls in the future. What women want most to have the best time with sex is to never be facing consequences.

Ahh okay I see. Yea what I meant in my post was the more joking and innuendo sex talk was okay, but not so much the direct talk. When I read your post before that I got the impression that you couldnt do any sex talk at all.

 

[BananaSmile]

Wheen u wrote that genuene stuff about her? i though u were reading it off the ex-bfs facebook, sounded bad

dont get attached to anything then you wont have anything to lose
but hey you mite like her a lot just like her ex-bf and you mite be like him in the future

 

[falconslax89]

Got this message on facebook today haha

January 13 at 10:45am
Hey (me)....I know you are really mad at me and i dont blame you at all. I feel horrible. The truth is that i cant stop thinking about you and i miss hanging out with you. I got back together with my boyfriend because its all i really know and even though he treats me bad i believe that things will change, but they dont. I had so much fun with you but i just didnt think you liked me like that because you are so hard to read. I still dont know if you did, but i really do miss you. If you want to talk about it or hang out i would love to...im sorry (pimp) : ( you didnt deserve that at all!!

p.s. who will correct my spelling errors if you arent around? : )




Next move?

 

[boomerick]

careful

I understand not wanting to label a BPD prematuerly. However, if she is, she will eventually try to branch swing to you. She will weave her Waif/Awsome Sex spell. You will turn into her White Knight / Sex god !...You will be on top of the world. Then things will start to short circuit. Everything will change as if the playing field was pulled from under your feet. AND it will all be your fault / your doing. Later a broken, cheated on, lied to you will be the weeping b!tch on the phone and she'll have NewGuy pounding the sh!t out of her, thinking he's the champ.(the way you may feel now??) WHY EVEN RISK IT??? She's too much drama for WHATEVER reason BPD or not. If she comes over pound her like a $20 wh*re then show her the door. Better yet, don't play with fire, NEXT HER!!! You will be doing yourself a BIG favor. Read Kontrollers post again!


Note: Go to Mature Man's Forum and read the current thread about BPD.If you don't know what it is find out now!!!

 

[katatonia]

Got this message on facebook today haha

January 13 at 10:45am
Hey (me)....I know you are really mad at me and i dont blame you at all. I feel horrible. The truth is that i cant stop thinking about you and i miss hanging out with you. I got back together with my boyfriend because its all i really know and even though he treats me bad i believe that things will change, but they dont. I had so much fun with you but i just didnt think you liked me like that because you are so hard to read. I still dont know if you did, but i really do miss you. If you want to talk about it or hang out i would love to...im sorry (pimp) : ( you didnt deserve that at all!!

Translation: Since you are ignoring me I think you are mad at me and I can't blame you because I don't know why you are ignoring me in the first place. I feel horrible (because you stopped giving me attention). The truth is that I can't stop thinking about you and I miss your attention. I got back together with my boyfriend because I needed the validation that he still wanted me and I say he treats me like sh1t even though I'm the one that treats him like sh1t... etc etc manipulative bullsh1t etc etc.

She's been obsessing about you and why you are ignoring her while you've been gone. She even outright told you she has been!

Your next move is either:

A) Ignore her message and drive her crazier for a bit longer.

B) Take up her offer of 'meeting up', game her a bit and use some kino while you are out. Go for the kiss and if she rejects you, make an excuse as to why you have to go, get up and leave and resume ignoring her without explanation.

C) Go no contact for good and never see her again.

 

[Brighty]

lol this is the reason i love sosuave, you have posters who like making assumptions about everything and love going against the grain just for the hell of it.

After reading this thread, this post is now hilarious.

 

[katatonia]

After reading this thread, this post is now hilarious.

Explain?

 

[falconslax89]

ok yall. i havent updated this in awhile. mainly bc theres not much to update, but here goes.

so after she sent me that apology letter, i ignored her for awhile but later text her "i want to see you." because, well...i did. she replies "when?" i say "now."
she asks if i want to go hangout with her friend and the friends boyfriend or if i just want her to come over by herself. i tell her just to come over.

so she comes over and its kind of weird at first. i took 4 tylenol PM before i knew she was coming over so i am sort of out of it. she knows im pissed at her.we sit on my bed for about 10 minutes, get some pretty heavy kino goin on. then we start making out.

like two minutes later she randomly says" i dont think we should have sex tonight. i just cant do that with someone im not together with." mind you she is now back together with her boyfriend. " i just say "ok"

so all night we pretty much just roll around in bed together. she is all over me the whole night. constantly kissing me. like every two minutes she would kiss my cheek even when i was trying to sleep. she whispered"i like staying here with you" and i replied "i know" lol. i never tried to **** her. dont ask me why. i was just worn out and tired, and i should have but i didnt.

she only *****ed about her boyfriend a little bit but i acted extremely uninterested so she quit.

the whole night she tried to convince me to skip school the next day so i could hang out with her, but i told her i couldnt because then i would miss lacrosse practice, which was true.

so the next morning she leaves around 10. i dont talk to her all day. then at like 6 her status on facebook is "ive never been so sure of anything. bring on forever and ever." obviously talking about her bf.

so im like **** this..im done with this *****. shes nuts. she sends me another message on facebook like the next day saying "Oh my gosh..I swear I'm not always like this. I haven't ever like really liked anyone besides him and he's always been there for me..its extemely complicated and I mean everything when I'm around you but I cant hang out like that anymore because were talking again. I feel like such a ***** and so sorry because you are such a fun, good guy : ( you'll find a girl in no time. Pleaseeee understand and try to be able to be friends..."

i didnt reply to that **** and its been about a week. she sent me a text yesterday asking how my trip was to vegas last weekend and i didnt reply.

so today her friend starts a chat on facebook with me. here it is:
her:hey
me: slut
8:02pmher
womenizer
8:04pmme
hell ya!
8:04pmher
i know your type all to well...
8:04pmme
i believe it
8:07pmher
would you ever give jami another chance just between me and you
8:08pmme
haha umm probably not
8:09pmher
really never?! what if she really proved to you that she was done iwth dwight and wanted to be with you
8:13pmme
she has no idea what she wants..i just dont really want to be involved in all her ****
8:13pmher
but she does
8:14pmme
does what
8:15pmher
all she talked about is you..when shes with dwight shes always thinking about you. she called me balling saying she made the biggiest mistake of her life. dwight is all she new i can understand because i have been in the same place before we both dont like being single. and she thoght you wrent that into her and you werent dateablle material..she really does regret it..

(btw this girl is probably the worst speller ever)
she later tells me that her boyfriend made her put that status on facebook about being together forever.

somewhere in this conversation i mention how i hate when girls say "wow" when their mad.

later the girls status is "wow"...coincidence? doubtful.

anyway, what do you guys make of all this? truthfully i would like to date this girl. but i dont want to look like a ***** that just takes her back everytime. what should i do?

 

[katatonia]

like two minutes later she randomly says" i dont think we should have sex tonight. i just cant do that with someone im not together with." mind you she is now back together with her boyfriend. " i just say "ok"

Right here you could've told her to get the fvck out and ignored her; you would probably be fvcking her right now if you did that lol. But don't worry you still did well.

so im like **** this..im done with this *****. shes nuts. she sends me another message on facebook like the next day saying "Oh my gosh..I swear I'm not always like this. I haven't ever like really liked anyone besides him and he's always been there for me..its extemely complicated and I mean everything when I'm around you but I cant hang out like that anymore because were talking again. I feel like such a ***** and so sorry because you are such a fun, good guy : ( you'll find a girl in no time. Pleaseeee understand and try to be able to be friends..."

i didnt reply to that **** and its been about a week. she sent me a text yesterday asking how my trip was to vegas last weekend and i didnt reply.

Ahh you took real advice over symp advice, you are unlike 99% of other sosuave members. Good job.

all she talked about is you..when shes with dwight shes always thinking about you. she called me balling saying she made the biggiest mistake of her life. dwight is all she new i can understand because i have been in the same place before we both dont like being single. and she thoght you wrent that into her and you werent dateablle material..she really does regret it..

See? lol

anyway, what do you guys make of all this? truthfully i would like to date this girl. but i dont want to look like a ***** that just takes her back everytime. what should i do?

Personally I wouldn't date her because she's an attention wh0re, but it's up to you. Don't worry about looking like a b1tch, you've already demonstrated that you are not so when you cut her off instead of playing friends like every other guy she has probably met. Just remember to keep emotionally distant and if she starts bullsh1t, cut off contact without explanation.