Great interest dissapeared virtually overnight???

[Enigma412]

I met this chick who was giving me numerous SOI's, even getting so nervous while first talking to me that she was fidgeting like crazy. Things were going great. I was on my way to asking her out but decided to defer it to the "next time" I saw her because on that particular day (the 2nd time we talked) I had two very, very memorable things planned and I didn't want rejection to rain on a parade that I will never forget. At any rate, we are college students who both dorm here and I only saw her once or twice over the next 10 days, and she was not in a position that would allow me to talk to her during those instances. Finally I found an excuse to come to her class and I began by talking to another friend about the ostensible reason for me coming to the class. When she looked my way I said "hey" and nodded by head to acknowledge her and she gave me a blank stare. Later she entered our conversation and then I asked her a question to begin a conversation with her, that would end in me asking her out, but she surprised me by saying "shut up" and turning around in defiance. This happened last Wednesday. I was talking to a friend the other day and I was facing the exit of the busy hall and she turned around, used her back to push the door open. This allowed her to face me, either to see me or to see if I was looking at her. Either way it suggests some continued interest. Again, today I was talking to someone else during her class and she appeared to find a lame excuse to walk by me. However, she did not say anything (I was mad at her rude display of the previous week and part of the reason I went to the class was to rattle her cage and give her the impression that I don't care about her any longer) and was cold and did not acknowledge me when I walked into the room and started talking to my friend. She knew it was me but did not even move.

What happened? Is she playing a game or did her interest fall for some reason, likely because I didn't go in for the kill quickly? One guy who asked her out told me she said she had a BF, but that likely was a throway line that she used to let him down easily. Maybe she does have one and she was just seeing if she could get me to fawn over her and ask her out and that when she began to think that I wouldn't saw no reason to continue the charade.

 

[backbreaker]

Ok... you did alot of things wrong first off.

the thing that stood out to me most was making an excuse to follow her around.

Why?

Also, why didn't you ask her out the first time?

You put yourself in this perdicument.

Think about it like this...

If a girl is giving you serious BUY singals, you go in for the sale, and she rejects you... whoose fault is that? It's not yours, you were doing what you were supposed to do.. I mean, ,she would think you are a whimp if you didn't ask her out (which seems to have happened)

Whatever the case may be now, she is playing elementray dating games... Don't pertend to not pay her attention in hopes of getting her IL up...

Actually forget about her, rather her IL raises or not.

If she is playing these silly games now, just imagine if you were unfortunate enough to get in a real relatinoahip with her.

Be lucky you know before hand what you are dealing with, and focus on other women.

 

[Enigma412]

You make a lot a valid points, thanks for the reply. What caused her to resort to such games so quickly? Is she a weirdo or just desperate for quick results? Is there any way to salvage something out of this situation or is too late/she is damaged goods? She was, in many ways, just the girl I was looking for. She even has the same major lol.

 

[Fluke]

One thing I notice right away is you said,

"I had two very, very memorable things planned and I didn't want rejection to rain on a parade that I will never forget."

You gotta stop thinking like this dude, I know it can take awhile and some sucesses before you completly believe in yourself but eventually you want to look at it as another event that would have made your day even MORE memorable, success or no. Once your at that point you feel good just grabbing your balls and going for what you want. For me it took getting extremely into working out to build my confidence and forced myself into a job as a waiter to get comfortable talking to people to get there.

Assuming you are good at reading SOI's from a girl and the girl wasnt simply uncomfortable around you, there is no reason you shoulda delayed getting the number at least. Ive learned most of the time you gotta strike while its hot, if you wait around to long the girls end up with another dude who you are better than that simply went for it.

Anyways it sounds like you did something to irritate the girl or lowered her interest level for whatever other reason. Id say forget about her and move on. I get the feeling you have some sort of oneitis for this chick already and thats not good...you havent even been on a date with her yet.

 

[backbreaker]

Originally posted by Enigma412
You make a lot a valid points, thanks for the reply. What caused her to resort to such games so quickly? Is she a weirdo or just desperate for quick results? Is there any way to salvage something out of this situation or is too late/she is damaged goods? She was, in many ways, just the girl I was looking for. She even has the same major lol.

Lord knows why she acted the way she did soo quickly.

I had an Ex (as a matter of fact, if you look at the post that says "who is a true master" and look in the group photo I posted, the girl on the LEFT) who get this, hated me so much for no aparent reason after she broke up wtih me, that she was spreding rumors about me at an ALL GIRLS school she didn't even go to.

Yes, there is a WAY to salvage it, there's a way to do anything, that's not the question you want to ask... Do you WANT to salvage it.. the answer is no.

Why? Trust me, there are plenty of women out there worth it, she isn't.

Women weed themselves out by showing their ass when you meet them more times than not. That's why I realy don't understand alot of the drama alot of guys get into with girls... yeah she was a headcase when you met her, but now that you are dating things are going to be aokay...

just because she shows you interest doesn't mean she is the only girl out there that likes you. You can and Will do better.

If I had to guess, just to answer your question, and I have become an expert on this... she must be pretty hot, because she is either not used to guys waiting around to put moves on her, or she just is to the point now where she can look at other options, meaning she HAS other options.

I also think she is a tad bit on the childish side, walking by just to get your attention, just to show you what you could have won.

I dont' think she is damaged goods, just a good ole fashioned Attention *****..

 

[Enigma412]

Thanks for the comments. I have basically NEXTed her but I was just very surprised by her sudden 180, she went from very great interest to this very quickly.

 

[tmpgstx]

The 'shut up' is a bit much, but sounds as if she likes you, and is a little immature about it. I'm thinking she does have a boyfriend too.

You think she can be totally interested in you one day and just turn it off the next? She can't just turn it off. It's just her way of handling it.

An AW is different because an AW will be nice to you at costs in the beginning reeling you in deep, and then when you're really hooked she'll flake and you'll see how she really is - alot of guy friends etc.

 

[DonJuanMonk]

Boys, you forget one thing:

Men are hunters, Women are prey

Read it, Think it, Know it.

 

[Enigma412]

I'm thinking she does have a boyfriend too.

You think she can be totally interested in you one day and just turn it off the next? She can't just turn it off. It's just her way of handling it.

I think this is the most plausible explanation of her actions. If she does have one I am almost certain that she knows him from her hometown. In other words, it is essentially a LDR, which creates obvious pressures on the relationship. She goes home three days a week but works during each day and if my hunch is right he goes to college relatively far from their hometown as well. She joined thefacebook the night she first saw me after a relatively long time after we had good convos on two consecutive days (she actually initiated the second one and was willing to stand in the pouring rain to talk to me). She did not list anything in her bio, suggesting that she joined just so she could search the profile of someone (likely me) or several people. At any rate, only one person is listed as her friend there and it is a guy. I assume that is her boyfriend and if it is he is, at least as far as appearance is concerned, well below her league. I am a far better choice for her than him, perhaps this is why she was so allured by me initially but then let her loyalty to her bf win out.

One other thing I noticed about her is that she, liked many women who are interested in a guy, laughed at anything remotely funny that I said. However, what made her unusual is that she would usually look down after laughing. What could that have meant? I suppose it could suggest subconcious submissiveness or that she was slightly sad because she knew that nothing would ever become of us because she was stuck with her lame bf.

The only reason I ask about her odd body language is for future reference. It will help me better understand what chicks who do a similar thing in the future are thinking.

 

[Tazman]

If you do your part and ask a girl out within a reasonable amount of time you probably won't encounter this. I get similar responses because I don't initiate anything (my fault) and the girls will sure enough start acting disinterested by purposfully avoiding EC and stuff. Funny thing is, when I start doing the same thing back, they start trying to get the attention again.

What I don't get is why when I try and make EC just to say hello they sometimes become too nervous (atleast it seems that way) to look at me and I end up passing by without saying anything and they get pissed I guess. How can they rationalize their behavior and make me out to be the bad guy when they won't even meet me halfway? Women...................

 

[Carnegie]

backbreaker, Fluke good replies!
I should focus on other girls and not develop oneitis with a girl I havent even spoken to.

Edit: This is of reference to me, I just wanted to save this thread

 

[Enigma412]

lol tazman I can empathize!