Great girl, awful circumstances. What to do?

[Mr. Goods]

Very recently, I met a HB9 who seems great. We connected extremely quickly and there are some IOI's coming from her. Unfortunately, a cruel wind has blown into the scene, and that is where I need help. The issues:

-Well for starters, this girl works at the same company I do. Because I know the "don't dip in the company ink" replies are on your minds, consider this: I began a new job a month and a half ago at an entry-level position. The company is very large in size, there are a lot of people close to my age that work there, and it's a long hours/nights and weekends type of job. The place is like a campus. Due to this, social life and friends = people we know at work. While being a strong asset in the workplace is my obvious #1 goal, coming in at #2 is getting to know my peers/co-workers. I'm around the place so much that I do better when I know/get along with these people.
At the same time, our company is one with a "professional" culture. That means no obvious/obnoxious flirting, no kino, and no other stupid stuff. Technically, you are allowed to date at work, but one person can't be the other's superior and they both must be able to work well in the workplace. Also, no PDA's.

-However, this girl is a temp. Good news, right? Maybe not. Her current stay at the company ends in the next couple of weeks. There is a chance she could become a full-time hire after she graduates college in a couple months, but that is no certainty. I know a couple of the other temps, but it seems the small "temp group" would hang together if out of work because they are in the same program. I would feel out of place if it were just me and all of them somewhere.

-So, you suggest just driving to her college when I have days off, right? Also, tricky. Her school is several hours away. Not a fun trip. Especially for someone I'm not even close to being exclusive with. I am also certain she is not the slvt type and is not easy. Can never be 100% sure, but I'm pretty sure.

I do not have oneitis - I'd be able to move on if this didn't work , but this girl seems tailor-made for Mr. Goods; it's scary. :yes: I also don't want to wonder "what if" if I do nothing...at the same time, I have to make sure not to make things at work weird if she were to say no.

What is the best course of action?

 

[xdreamz]

it's just theory bro remember.

 

[Mr. Goods]

it's just theory bro remember.

What do you mean? Answer's a little vague lol. Any suggestions on what I should do?

 

[Alanswer]

1-

The company is very large in size

So, being succesfull or not, you won't constantly be with her. And easier to keep it hidden/secret if you make out.

2-

Her current stay at the company ends in the next couple of weeks. There is a chance she could become a full-time hire after she graduates college in a couple months, but that is no certainty

For now, that's (in bold) is certain/factual. The rest (underlined) is simply possible.
Move now. Don't let a potential future stop you. What you know is that you desire her NOW... And you may not have this opportunity again. (You must make her understand that to escalate your 'relationship' a lot faster.)

3-

I would feel out of place if it were just me and all of them somewhere.

Why should you need to be with them? Invite her, alone, for a drink after work.

4-

Her school is several hours away

You shouldn't care where her SCHOOL is but where her home is.
When you invite her you need to know if you'll be able to get her back home, if she will accept (or not) because of the distance and time of the trip.

Also, try to know if she leaves alone or with her family. Is her family cool with her not getting back at night...

You need to understand that you (and she) don't have much time here.
If you are both attracted to one another, the length of your relation shouldn't be a discriminative factor, its intensity yes.

5-

I am also certain she is not the slvt type and is not easy. Can never be 100% sure, but I'm pretty sure.

From my own experience, slut doesn't mean much in regards to a girl behavior. If so, men are ALL sluts no doubt about it.

Still, and beside the (growing number of) girls who just wanna get ****ed, all women are easy... If you attract (verbally and non-verbally) them enough and have the right (convincing) words.

Also, if you treat her like a "good girl", she'll 'act' as such. If you tell her you know she's a good girl but the circumstances, your difference and originality, the way she feels with you... demand for her to adjust her behavior in order to escalate the relationship (e.g. accept sex) a lot quicker than what she's used to... She'll do it.

If you put her on a pedestal:

this girl seems tailor-made for Mr. Goods; it's scary. :yes:

No way you're gonna achieve that... Because YOU want her to mirror the image you have of her, the way you desire her to be. You fantasize as the perfect (non-slut, good girl... Which doesn't mean anything in reality) so you'll treat her as such... And she'll conform to it.

That's not the goal with a woman. You have to make her feel so good that she forget who she is, there are no (or less) barriers to her behavior... Because she knows/believe you respect her for who she is. And the way she acts with you is different because you and the emotions she has when with you are different.

6-

I have to make sure not to make things at work weird if she were to say no.

See point 1 and 2. If she says no, she says no. Why should it be weird?

 

[Mr. Goods]

Thanks for the insight Alanser. You make some good points, and then also some points that aren't possible.

Regarding #1 - I can't do any PDA at work. I mentioned that twice. :nono: However, the rest of the point is right. It's a large company...I won't have to see her every day if it didn't work out. However, I would be seeing her on many days.

#2 - True point.

#3 - That has crossed my mind, it's possible. The only problem is that we get at at 1-2am some days. It's not a 9-5 work day. However, I can see when there is an open gap in our schedules.

#4 - Her school is several hours away. Her home is many hours away. Where her housing is during the temping isn't so far, since she does have to drive to work. Definite plane-ride distance.

#5 - I'd tread carefully. The girl is not a slvt. Treating her as such is not going to help. The rest of the answer is true, but I can't treat someone as different than they actually are.

#6 - Again, more on #1. I'd still have to see and perhaps work with her (provided she comes back). Other than that, not too much downside. I also don't need co-workers having ammo for gossip against me so early in my tenure at the company.

 

[1 Bad Dude]

You need to stop all this analyzing and just live in the now. Just ask her out for drinks after work one night and take things as they come. You're putting to much thought into this.

Oh... and get that good girl/not a slut sh!t about her out of your head now. Good, church going girls aren't supposed to deepthroat your c0ck. So if you'd like to get an awesome bj and some swallowage from this chick take her off that pedastal.

 

[terran2k]

I'm with 1 Bad Dude on this one.

 

[seagull]

I agree with the above two posts. The OP is over analysing and putting this girl on a pedestal. These AFC traits will weaken your game.

 

[NeverFear]

If she's a 9 then she has options coming out the wazzo and guys approaching constantly.

So dont kid yourself.

Give her the chance to show interest level in you, or walk away.

7 and 8's are fine with me. Less trouble.

 

[Mr. Goods]

Thanks for the feedback. Took your general advice here, hopefully it works.

The day after most of these replies came in, I made a bet with her about the outcome of a sports game the following day (yes, HB9 who likes sports). Loser buys the winner a drink. She liked the favorite in the game and I was ok going with the underdog. Of course, my team won. HB9 owes me a drink.

To make things complicated, HB9 decides today is the day to start playing games. Very hot-and-I don't know (not cold). It was an odd combination of 1/2 genuine interest, 1/2 her trying to play new games. She started out with the really basic/dumb questions about things she already knows the answer to. I usually help her out because it's the right thing to do, I look like an expert, and my supervisors like me helping the temp. Later, I tell her my friend and I are grabbing food, she's free to eat with us. She says yes...is there waiting for us, says hi...and then disappears. When my friend and I are leaving, she comes back and asks us what's good on the menu.

Later on, the game happened. We watched the end together, she was very into it. When my team won, I said I was starting to feel thirsty, she laughed. A few minutes later...her friend comes in while I was away. She works in another department, I have never met her and only saw her once. They go outside to talk for a minute. I knew what was happening. HB9 comes back in and goes with the story of, "It's my friend's last day on the job, so I have to go out with her before she leaves." HOWEVER, she then quickly suggested we go out tomorrow, she gets off earlier and she will "probably" be good to go. And to throw an extra wrench in, apparently she'd rather text me when she is leaving work rather than have me text to ask (which is why she has my number...I also don't care enough to make it a standoff). I reacted as if it didn't bother me one bit, and I was good with whatever happens.

Moving forward: She is at strike 1. I'm using the "Two Strike Rule" here. If she flakes tomorrow as well, then I just move on. Not the end of the world. Her temping ends in about a week.

 

[1 Bad Dude]

I'd put money on this never happening. You're gonna get blown off here. I wouldn't be suprised if she doesn't "forget" because she was "busy." I don't see anything even remotely ressembling you challenging her or being a challenge to her. And the game wager doesn't count. You should've never let her get away without buying you that drink. All I saw here was "yes dear" "whatever you say" "please sit at our lunch table."

 

[Mr. Goods]

I'd put money on this never happening. You're gonna get blown off here. I wouldn't be suprised if she doesn't "forget" because she was "busy." I don't see anything even remotely ressembling you challenging her or being a challenge to her. And the game wager doesn't count. You should've never let her get away without buying you that drink. All I saw here was "yes dear" "whatever you say" "please sit at our lunch table."

It's tougher at work. My position is slightly higher than hers and I'm not going to antagonize people at the office (if my bosses find out, I would get a talking to). I have to be more of the "nice guy" at work...if I went all DJ, I'd get in trouble. For example, we can't kino or give cold shoulders.

And I'm also counting on nothing happening just due to flaking history I've had in the past. She will be made aware of the backing out of the bet (I see her tomorrow). Not the worst thing in the world. For some reason, Im not so upset. She leaves for good in less than a week, and if she were really interested, she'd make the date.