Great first date, but awkward second date???

[Little John]

Ok guys, heres the deal.

The last 3 girls Ive gone out with Ive had really good first dates with, everything goes really well, we make a good connection, great convo, and all around have a good time but the second time we go out everything seems to go down hill .

The second date seems almost a little awkward. On the first date I can ask them any question about anything and they just go on and on and talk my ear off. But the second time we go out, they clam up and don’t want to talk, not completely but its not nearly as good as the first. I have a hard time getting them to smile or laugh, their answers get a little short almost like they don’t want to be there and a lot of the rapport we had built up just goes down the drain. Kind of like 2 steps forward and 1 step back.

I know they’re still interested, they always return my calls and text messages within 2 minuets so I know they’re not disinterested. I don’t know whats causing it and its really starting to bug me. I think that I may be coming across a little too reserved in the first few minuets of the second date and they may feel that Ive become a little disinterested in them so they pull back?

I don’t know, what do you guys think?

 

[1utfan1]

How much do you tell them about yourself during the first date? I've found it best to keep them talking about them. When they ask me questions about myself I keep them brief and not an indepth account of myself. That whole mystery thing. Do you ask them out for a 2nd date like the next day after your first date? We need more info about the date itself.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Just ask them what they've been up to in the last week. Be sure to interact with her during the conversation to keep things going. Basically, talk about things that have gone on with either of you since the first date.

 

[Little John]

Originally posted by 1utfan1
How much do you tell them about yourself during the first date? I've found it best to keep them talking about them. When they ask me questions about myself I keep them brief and not an indepth account of myself. That whole mystery thing. Do you ask them out for a 2nd date like the next day after your first date? We need more info about the date itself.

I ALWAYS keep the convo focused on them as much as possible, but when they ask about me, Ill tell them anything they want to know.

The first time it happened, we had gone out on a Monday night and it went so well that she called me at least twice a day and even asked me: "when am I going to see you again" so we went out again on that Friday. We went to dinner and normally when you start with small talk it naturally goes into more serious stuff but now Im just hitting a wall. We went to a movie rental store after dinner and she did try to get a little "too friendly" in the store if you know what I mean but I stopped her because people were starting to watch. I think that was my biggest mistake, she completely took it the wrong way and I wasnt able to recover from it.

The last girl we had lunch at school the first time and it went very well. I hadent seen her in over 3 months before that and when i asked her the first time she immediately accepted. We just had lunch and it was nothing serious but we connected really well. It has been over a month since then I and I wasnt able to see her because of the storms in Florida, so today I texted her again asking her to lunch and I had her reply, seriously within 20 seconds. So I know shes interested but weve just lost our connection. Again I had trouble getting past the small talk, its like they dont have anything to say. It almost seemed like we had run out of stuff to talk about.

After today, I think that i may be acting a little too distant at least at first. I remember on both occasions when we meet for the second date I didnt offer a hug or act very excited to see them but at the time I didnt feel the "Hey, how are you!" vibe that I usually get (or at least I thought I didnt) so I didnt offer her a hug before or after lunch. I think that the first minuet or two that your together sets the tone for the rest of the meeting and maybe thats where Im not showing enough interest.

 

[1utfan1]

Try an action date for a 2nd date. Then it doesn't put so much emphasis on having a discussion.

As far as the 1st girl you described. It just sounds like she got pi$$ed because you didn't let her manhandle you in the video store and she may not be used to being told 'no'. At least NO in public. hahaha.

It sounds like your doing some things right. I'm at a loss about why they seem no so chatty the 2nd time around.