Grass is greener delima. Advice?

[bronyraur]

I have been dating a gal for about 4 months now. About a 6 on the looks scale but a 9+ personallity/intelligence. That's what attracted me...my ex-wife was a looker with nothing upstairs. My GF seems to be working out alot and dressing better lately so she is trying to improve on the "6". We click, never have had a real fight and she challenges me like no other woman has.

Here is the problem. I recently met a stunning looking woman at my daughters ballet class. She has recently moved to town and there was a definate spark. I really would like to see this woman however, I don't know anything about her personallity etc. except for a couple of quick chats.

How do I get to know her and still preserve my relationship? In the back of my mind I feel like I might be ready to "trade up". I am very anti-cheating after dealing with that bs in my marriage.

If there is one thing that this wonderful site has taught me is : I WILL NOT HAVE ANY REGRETS FROM NOW ON. No more "what-ifs". So I'm stuck. I don't want to regret not getting to know the hottie but I could blow up my current deal.

Do I ask out the hottie to get to know her? Risk getting caught/seen by my GF or her friends? I'm afraid my concience will really come into play.

 

[KiInCollege]

You don't really have the option of making the exchange yet. You have to find out if the hot woman will even go so far as to date you.

You're just dating your current GF, so it's fine to take another step and ask the new girl out. She may say no and end it right there. Before you can even consider trading up, you need to be 90% certain that your new relationship will be better and work out.

We've all had the "grass is greener" experience. A lot of times they don't really even look better, it's just that instinct we have to spread our seed. When I logically look at my options, I realize it's better to stay with a girl that loves you rather than date a girl who is equally attractive and mysterious, but whom you have no idea about.

On the other hand, I already have the complete package girl - you don't, so you have to find out the potential in this. If the new girl says she's interested, take her out on a date. Make it a more secluded spot. It won't be the perfect date, but it doesn't have to be if a spark is there.

Chances are, though, you're agonizing over nothing. The new girl being a potential partner is unlikely, but still worth the small risk. Besides, you need to flex your new DJ skills if she turns out to be compatible with you.

 

[NewMan]

You've been dating your chick for 4 months - which is relatively a small period of time.

You owe it to yourself to at least scratch that itch you have.

My advice would be though, to get to know her better during your daughters class. Talk to her find out how her personality is.

Why don't you ask her if she wants to get coffee whilst your children are in class - thats very low pressure - and a good way to get to know her......

It sounds like although your current girl challenges your mind, she doesn't stimulate your d#ck - you need both.

 

[cactus3178]

Damn. You gotta love situations like this. If your happy where you are with your current girlfriend, leave it alone for now. If you've got a good start to something good, build on it.

However, if your not happy (or bored, etc), talk to this new girl. Just don't drop the ball until you've caught another.



BTW, my daughter goes to ballet class too. What a coincidence

 

[JohnJones]

I have to counter and say that regardless of how long you've been going out, is there any understanding of exclusivity with your existing g/f? If there is (and it sounds like ethically, you feel there may be) then you need to address it.

I would think this means having a clarifying conversation with the g/f -- it doesn't have to be specific ("I have the hots for someone else and I want to give it a try" doesn't need to get out). You just need to get accross that committed exclusivity is not appropriate at this point in the relationship.

If I am wrong, and the exclusivity is just a happenstance (she doesn't see others and you don't simply because you haven't bothered) then no problem.

 

[bronyraur]

Thanks for all your advice fellas. The Hottie and I had a soda during the ballet class. I played it very casual and we hit it off nicely but today I am feeling like ****. I avoided 2 calls from the GF last night and my secretary is not putting any calls through until I figure out WTF I am doing.

Yes, we had the exclusivity talk about 3 weeks ago. We have tickets to go to Vegas next month (our second trip). What a fricken mess....I know this "indiscretion" (even though we only chatted) will effect my current relationship. I am a terrible liar.

Decisions, decisions......Thanks for your support I'll keep you updated. I'd wager that the whole thing will blow up and I'll lose both of them. But I'm an optimist.

 

[NewMan]

I think you need to slow down a notch or two here.

Let's recap.....

You've had a SODA with her - and thats that.

You don't even know her.

But your already thinking of being with her - and thus fvcking what you currently have.

Your thinking to far ahead.

This is how one-I-tis starts.

You need to keep it going with your current gal - because in truth there's nothing to lie about - nothing to be dishonest about and nothing for you to worry about. You had a soda with another mum at your daughters class. You can even tell her that.


So call your current girl up and continue your plans.

You must always have an iron in the fire so to speak. This way your not going to come accross as a desperado.

Lastly - I would recomend you cool your jets with girl #2 - and just see what happens.

 

[Crank_It_Up]

obviously you think you can do better or this whole question would not have come up.... so go for it. Ask the new girl for a date, if she accepts, and you are still impressed by the end of the date, then you have to go to your girlfriend and tell her you do not wish to remain exclusive. If the date is a bust, then no harm done, continue to see the girlfriend until you find somebody to trade up.

 

[JohnJones]

Again, I know this won't be popular, but I think you need to finesse this one with the g/f, otherwise whatever you have going on with her will be f--ked eventually. I think you probably got exclusive too fast and you need to back out of it neatly.

 

[sustainable007]

GO FOR IT!

Dont be an AFC...Roll the dice....Obviously this "6" isnt what you want or you wouldnt be thinking about this hb...If you got ballz you should next the 6, and emancipate yourself and go for what you really want...If you stick with the 6 your being mediocre, and think about this....alot of women are just ho's and would it really be worth it to be burnt by a 6? HMMMMMM...Dont think so.

Bang this hot babe.

 

[DJ_Dork]

you say you are anti-cheat yet you are contemplating on it. low integrity dude, and low ingrity people get no respect from me. if your current girlfriend has not spoken of exclusivity or has not hinted at it - then go for it, but if she has.. stick with current.