Gotta Fix This

Desdinova

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2004
Messages
11,639
Reaction score
4,718
Francisco d'Anconia said:
[*]Adjust your level of playfulness to be just a little bit more than your date's and when you draw her playfulness closer to your lowered level, raise yours a little more and lead her closer once again.
This is what I was thinking. Style always insisted that when you approach a group of people, your energy level should just be slightly higher than that of the group. The same can likely be applied to 1-on-1 interactions with women. My problem is I'm usually a high energy person at the best of times, so perhaps I'm just a little bit "too much" for these women to deal with. What I do notice is that having a much higher energy level than a woman you're in a LTR with works very well.
 

Desdinova

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2004
Messages
11,639
Reaction score
4,718
Update:

Took a fairly new chick out on a date today. I made a considerable effort to keep my 'a55hole' side toned down. She didn't end the date early like the last few. Instead, she was trying to make the date last longer and was bugging me to go to a comedy club with her in the near future.

I think I zeroed in on my problem. I need to be more of a 'nice guy' on first dates :D
 

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,502
Reaction score
63
Location
Galt's Gulch
Glad to hear it's working for you; just don't become too nice. Consider being a "Good" guy. You can treat her like a lady but not without being a man.
 

Desdinova

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2004
Messages
11,639
Reaction score
4,718
Francisco d'Anconia said:
Glad to hear it's working for you; just don't become too nice. Consider being a "Good" guy. You can treat her like a lady but not without being a man.
Not sure if I can be too nice. I teased her quite a bit, but I wasn't mean about it. I think I can let my natural a55hole side come out once I get a few dates under my belt and build a bit more rapport. It just doesn't work well with a brand new woman.
 

zekko

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 6, 2009
Messages
16,076
Reaction score
8,926
Desdinova said:
I think I can let my natural a55hole side come out once I get a few dates under my belt and build a bit more rapport. It just doesn't work well with a brand new woman.
I could see this. Before she gets to know you, maybe she doesn't know quite how to take you - your a55hole side. Then once she gets to know how you are, then she can see your behavior through the prism of your personality. She can put it in context.
 

Peace and Quiet

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,502
Reaction score
63
Location
Galt's Gulch
Desdinova said:
Not sure if I can be too nice. I teased her quite a bit, but I wasn't mean about it. I think I can let my natural a55hole side come out once I get a few dates under my belt and build a bit more rapport. It just doesn't work well with a brand new woman.
Ever consider being more of a bad@ss?
 

Desdinova

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2004
Messages
11,639
Reaction score
4,718
Francisco d'Anconia said:
Ever consider being more of a bad@ss?
I suppose if I dressed the part and rode a motorcycle, it could work in my favour. I don't have much of a desire to get a motorcycle though.

I'm getting better results from cutting out the a55hole part. Went on another date last night with a British redhead and got myself a kiss. All I have to say is it's about fvcking time. She's not super hot, but I may keep her around until I find something better. Besides, a woman's looks are almost irrelevant when they're all low quality.
 

Die Hard

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2009
Messages
1,783
Reaction score
404
Desdinova said:
Besides, a woman's looks are almost irrelevant when they're all low quality.
I get your thought, but it's quite a pessimistic one and sounds like someone who has "given up".
 

Desdinova

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 15, 2004
Messages
11,639
Reaction score
4,718
Die Hard said:
I get your thought, but it's quite a pessimistic one and sounds like someone who has "given up".
What I've given up on is the idea that today's women are ideal for marriage and co-habitation. Let me make it clear that I do NOT hate women. What I realize is that they're products of today's feminized society. I see all the good that women have to offer, but I realize that things like loyalty and reliability just aren't part of it. The reality of life keeps on telling me that women with those values simply don't exist. Therefore, I'll keep women around for the good things that they actually have to offer (like Tenacity says "companionship and sex") but I also realize that this is available from women all across the board.

I simply cannot buy into the myth that overweight and unattractive women have better personalities. Their cores values are just as tainted as those of attractive and fit women. However, all of them can offer companionship and sex. As long as I don't find the bytch ugly or smelly, she'll be useful until I lose interest in her or find somebody more attractive. So I'll enjoy my time with her until somebody loses interest.

Life is too short to be excessively selective about the women I fvck especially if there's no real difference in their core values. That good looking high quality woman doesn't exist. The best I can get is a good looking compatible woman, and even those are hard to find. So why not fvck everything in-between and enjoy their company?
 

You essentially upped your VALUE in her eyes by showing her that, if she wants you, she has to at times do things that you like to do. You are SOMETHING after all. You are NOT FREE. If she wants to hang with you, it's going to cost her something — time, effort, money.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Tenacity

Banned
Joined
Jun 23, 2014
Messages
3,926
Reaction score
2,194
Desdinova said:
What I've given up on is the idea that today's women are ideal for marriage and co-habitation. Let me make it clear that I do NOT hate women. What I realize is that they're products of today's feminized society. I see all the good that women have to offer, but I realize that things like loyalty and reliability just aren't part of it. The reality of life keeps on telling me that women with those values simply don't exist. Therefore, I'll keep women around for the good things that they actually have to offer (like Tenacity says "companionship and sex") but I also realize that this is available from women all across the board.

I simply cannot buy into the myth that overweight and unattractive women have better personalities. Their cores values are just as tainted as those of attractive and fit women. However, all of them can offer companionship and sex. As long as I don't find the bytch ugly or smelly, she'll be useful until I lose interest in her or find somebody more attractive. So I'll enjoy my time with her until somebody loses interest.

Life is too short to be excessively selective about the women I fvck especially if there's no real difference in their core values. That good looking high quality woman doesn't exist. The best I can get is a good looking compatible woman, and even those are hard to find. So why not fvck everything in-between and enjoy their company?
^^ This right here. I'm not sure why some guys use the term "quitter" and the phrase "you gave up" in relation to a man's personal choice to not marry a woman of this market? What exactly did you give up on if you never started anything lol? What exactly did you "quit" on, if there was never anything in motion?

You know what I love about the Manosphere? It's an open field of information coming from a variety of different viewpoints and perspectives. You have the MRA viewpoint, the MGTOW viewpoint, the PUA viewpoint, the Don Juan viewpoint, the Blue Pill guy's viewpoint, and even the good ol' AFC's viewpoint.

With this information, we should as individuals take it and craft an individual/unique plan for our own lives in relation to dealing with women going forward.

I don't SHAME guys for getting married, I state my case against it and say at the end of the day, do what you believe is best for you.

But it baffles me how guys like to shame other guys for deciding that they don't want to participate in a marriage contract? Or participate in being a chick's baby daddy? Or participate in playing house with a chick?

It baffles me.
 

Alvafe

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 26, 2012
Messages
3,372
Reaction score
1,580
Age
41
ubercat said:
Does
Curious - Asians and Latinas don't do it for you?
and what make you think they would be any diferent?

I have a huge selection of what you guys call latinas, its not any easier
 

Romanemp22

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 30, 2020
Messages
961
Reaction score
899
Age
27
Being an assh0le is kinda like being a nice guy - it's boring because it's one-dimensional.

In between your assh0le moments, break it up with stories of your incredible sensitivity. Then go back to being an assh0le.
This.
 

Men frequently err by talking too much. They often monopolize conversations, droning on and on about topics that bore women to tears. They think they're impressing the women when, in reality, they're depressing the women.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Black Widow Void

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 24, 2010
Messages
2,176
Reaction score
3,841
Personally, I'm glad to see certain postings resurrected.
Within this particular posting, Desdinova seems rather dependent and eager for answers (not a put down, we've all been there) .

I'd rather read something slightly humbling than a bunch of swagger

 

Fruitbat

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 3, 2013
Messages
3,445
Reaction score
2,485
Personally, I'm glad to see certain postings resurrected.
Within this particular posting, Desdinova seems rather dependent and eager for answers (not a put down, we've all been there) .

I'd rather read something slightly humbling than a bunch of swagger

I’d expect that from a blue pill white knight like you.
My women beg to put the toothpaste on my brush and worship at my feet.
They made me a tower - the tower of alpha, and I sit in my throne and survey my female slaves and their beta orbiters
 

Reyaj

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 19, 2002
Messages
3,231
Reaction score
378
Age
46
Location
Northern CALI USA
I think Des has been in an LTR since with a younger woman. I haven't kept up with all the threads but I think marriage was being considered if I remember right.

There's been some recent marriage threads I want to chime in on but maybe I'll just make a new thread since there's so many with a different spin to it.
 

BillyPilgrim

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 9, 2021
Messages
4,924
Reaction score
3,795
It's an important point.

But instead of the dichotomy being a55hole/nice guy, I'd frame it as confident/empathetic instead. And make sure these divergent qualities stand out from each other (that is, being pronouncedly confident and pronouncedly empathetic so the juxtaposition is clear, instead of being slightly confident and slightly empathetic as the latter is more boring and less of an emotional roller coaster for the girl).
 

bat soup

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 10, 2020
Messages
4,252
Reaction score
4,747
Age
44
I went on a first (and last) date a couple of days ago. I haven't heard from her since. This seems to be a trend as of late. I used to ace the first date and get a second one without a hitch. Now it seems I'm fvcking them up, so I'm trying to figure out why.

I think I have two problems going on here... First, I really don't give a 5hit what the woman thinks of me. Second, I'm way too comfortable on these first dates and allow myself to be extremely outgoing. I think I come across like an a55hole, probably because I treat these women the same as the ones that I've already developed good rapport with.

I think I need to tone my personality down on these dates and allow myself to have a bit of "innocence".

Anyone else ever have this problem?
Insufficient information to provide a meaningful answer.
 

Tell her a little about yourself, but not too much. Maintain some mystery. Give her something to think about and wonder about when she's at home.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Top