Gotta break up with her tomorrow... what should I say?

[Knicknack]

I've been dating this girl for 6½ months and she is getting too serious for me. She is 24 and I'm 22. She keeps telling me that she wants me to only be in this relationship if I can see something in the long term. She isn't asking for anything crazy like marriage, she just wants to make sure this is not just some high school fling type relationship. The problem is; I don't take this relationship nearly as serious as she does. I haven't cheated on her, as far as sex goes, but I still date other girls and would like to keep my options open.

I don't want to hurt her feelings by continuing to drag this relationship further. I think it's best I tell her how I feel and let her move on.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. What do you think I should tell her?

 

[RedKnight04]

Don't call her more than once a week.

Now that thats out...IF you really think that is what YOU want then you have to take things into your own hands my friend.

If you think right now your in a detached way INCREASE it. Call her once a week but see her once in every two weeks. Change your game around to show her you aren't in need of a LTR.

 

[Knicknack]

Originally posted by RedKnight04
Don't call her more than once a week.

Now that thats out...IF you really think that is what YOU want then you have to take things into your own hands my friend.

If you think right now your in a detached way INCREASE it. Call her once a week but see her once in every two weeks. Change your game around to show her you aren't in need of a LTR.

the problem with that is the fact that it will only amplify her attraction for me. i don't want that. she calls me twice a day and sends me 2 emails and 2 txt's a day. i call her maybe 1 time for every 3 times she calls me. i'm not attached at all. i don't want to play any games with her. i just want out and i need to know what i should tell her without hurting her feelings too bad.

 

[Tails]

what's wrong with her? is she ugly? or you just wanna fuk other girls?

 

[RedKnight04]

Ok.

I have to get out of my house now but I can't help to notice that your story is so very close to mine with this girl RIGHT after my previous breakup. So I wasn't in the mindset to go into another LTR.

I told her I had to talk right away and dropped this - "Look, I like the fact your a nice person but I feel we are going in different directions with different needs. How about we stay friends?"

I don't know what you'll receive but I got yelled at. But as they say in the army: "Who the fukk cares?" Wait, maybe thats at the mall I heard that.

 

[Knicknack]

Originally posted by Tails
what's wrong with her? is she ugly? or you just wanna fuk other girls?

naw she aint ugly... like a 7 or so... she is really nice and a great personality... she is just kinda short and i like taller girls... i also don't like having to hide the fact that i am still dating around. she is trying to lock me down... so i gotta end it...

 

[Tails]

lol. fair enough. yeah, you have the right to do what YOU want. no one can stop that. just tell her how you feel. but i still don't see what the problem is here. you don't want to be in a LTR, is that it? if so, oh okay... then yeah, let her go.

 

[rjherche]

Attention everyone: Learn from this guy!!

You are one hell of a challenge. Over six months and you keep up the "I don't want to commit" bit? You know why? Your interest level is below hers. How many guys can't hardly keep a girl six weeks? I know you want to dump her, but this still shows how powerful being a challenge can be.

Now here's a question: could you maintain something like this with an HB9, or just any girl that you are totally gone over? Or would you revert to AFCness, asking her for commitment after say 4 or 5 weeks, then tell her how much she means to you, while trying to see her 5 times a week?

Think about that after you get rid of her. You were definately doing something right, but only because you were empowered by your somewhat low interest level. Do you have the discipline to be a challenge with a girl you are nuts about? I'm not saying go for 6 months without committment, I'm just saying can you hold back and let her make those kind of serious moves?

 

[Knicknack]

Update:

Talked to her last night...

Just told her that we see this thing two different ways and I don't want to lead her on. She started crying, but it was kind of just a short talk and then she went home. I feel pretty bad for her.

 

[dig it]

Took u six months to say that?

ok. So i asked my friend about it, she said

i think she thinks you are a pr!ck.

And i think she doesnt know exactly what she did wrong.

She was caught up in liking you and u have dropped a bombshell on her. She will be devastated.

__________

Man, thats from a girl who didnt even know her.

But the thing is man, girls, who gets them anyway?

I guess u have learnt from this a lot.

Like for me, if i wasnt interested in a girl, i would not reply to her messages at all. BY doing that i would let her know that she wont be reaching me through them.

Sounds like you wanted to wimp your way out of the relationship so you could shag other mumma's.

U lead her on blatantly. I hope she finds someone else pretty soon otherwise she may be scarred a bit for a while, if forever.

Thats not dj in my book.

Tsk tsk tsk

Yeh, but girls are used to it, right? haha.

nah really i wouldnt do that as who i am now, but a few years ago i could have, and did.

thats why the rant. pays to be honest.

 

[Tkman]

Originally posted by Knicknack

She started crying, but it was kind of just a short talk and then she went home. I feel pretty bad for her.

Why do you fell bad? You explained to her your point of view and if she wants to cry so be it.

 

[noseguard20]

Originally posted by rjherche
Attention everyone: Learn from this guy!!

You are one hell of a challenge. Over six months and you keep up the "I don't want to commit" bit? You know why? Your interest level is below hers. How many guys can't hardly keep a girl six weeks? I know you want to dump her, but this still shows how powerful being a challenge can be.

Now here's a question: could you maintain something like this with an HB9, or just any girl that you are totally gone over? Or would you revert to AFCness, asking her for commitment after say 4 or 5 weeks, then tell her how much she means to you, while trying to see her 5 times a week?

Think about that after you get rid of her. You were definately doing something right, but only because you were empowered by your somewhat low interest level. Do you have the discipline to be a challenge with a girl you are nuts about? I'm not saying go for 6 months without committment, I'm just saying can you hold back and let her make those kind of serious moves?

How long can a person remain a challenge? Look at that show, the bachelor. All these women are flocking over this one guy. why? because he is a challenge. But the show has to end in which he has to pick one lady. The challenge is over. She has him and now his value just went way down. The tides have turned. Guess who has the power now. Thats right, the pursuer!! These women seemed so inlove with him and in 3 out of 4 seasons of the bachelor, the bachelors and ladies they chose ended up breaking up!!

Its almost like running for office. Who has the power in an election? The people, not the candidate. But once the candidate wins the election, it's over. The Candidate now has the power!!!

what are you gonna do when you let a girl chase you, get you and then get rid of you, making you feel like a little *****!!

 

[Knicknack]

Originally posted by dig it
Took u six months to say that?

ok. So i asked my friend about it, she said

i think she thinks you are a pr!ck.

And i think she doesnt know exactly what she did wrong.

She was caught up in liking you and u have dropped a bombshell on her. She will be devastated.

__________

Man, thats from a girl who didnt even know her.

But the thing is man, girls, who gets them anyway?

I guess u have learnt from this a lot.

Like for me, if i wasnt interested in a girl, i would not reply to her messages at all. BY doing that i would let her know that she wont be reaching me through them.

Sounds like you wanted to wimp your way out of the relationship so you could shag other mumma's.

U lead her on blatantly. I hope she finds someone else pretty soon otherwise she may be scarred a bit for a while, if forever.

Thats not dj in my book.

Tsk tsk tsk

Yeh, but girls are used to it, right? haha.

nah really i wouldnt do that as who i am now, but a few years ago i could have, and did.

thats why the rant. pays to be honest.

i was fvckin honest with her... you'd be saying the same sh|t if i did this after 4 months instead of 6. i didn't cheat on her and i told her how i felt. i feel like i can love this girl but i'm not IN LOVE with her, if you know what i mean. i like everything about her personality, but she aint what i want for a LTR. better that i told her last night, than wait another month or another 6 months.

 

[dig it]

good point that

 

[neobrood]

... introduce her to a possible replacement.

like maybe one of your friends who you know is interested in a long term relationship.

I dunno... but that's what I'd do...