Got told I was weird

[BadsnakeUK]

Just wondering how you more mature DJs get along in terms of people making judgements on your lifestyle choices?

This comes from a number of people (all women apart from one of the biggest AFCs I've ever met) telling me there's something wrong with me for not wanting to settle down and follow the usual blueprint for life.

I'm not bothered by these opinions: I am where I want to be right now in life and know where I want to be in the future. I am happy, I have a lot of interests, my career is moving on well and I have a lot of success with women. I also want to travel and see the world and do a lot of cool things before I die, but people seem to get immediately suspicious of me having such a good time. Its like they can't comprehend a world beyond finding 'the one', having kids and going shopping for curtains to match the wallpaper. Basically a relationship and 'settling down' has never been much of a priority and I feel I've got too much to do to let all that become my primary concern.

The phrase I also get a lot is 'you should be past all that at your age' (I'm 27!)

This stuff proabably just comes from jealousy at either not having the balls to do anything exciting or lacking the wherewithal to actually put some though into life until its too late and they're saddled with kids and a mortgage, but I would be interested to know if this is a common response to people living the DJ lifestyle?

 

[wjh]

any time you buck a trend you're likely to get criticism. my lifestyle choices are mine and i own them. people can live their own lives, not mine.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

I love it when they tell me "I'm weird".. actually I was just told that earlier this week and I said "that's right i'm not like those boring guys you go out with"... hot date tonight.

 

[romangod]

Many people are like the "Borg" on Star Trek. They want to assimilate you into their narrow, sterile and unhappy situations. Misery loves company and so does a narrow mind.


You are on your way from not being devoured by the Matrix. Keep it up!


Cheers!

 

[Demodulate]

just curious if you travel alone. I am apprehensive to travel to foreign countrys on my own.. I havent been out of the country since 2006, and mostly that is due to having nobody to share the trip with. that and the exchange rate, lol..

 

[strey]

just curious if you travel alone. I am apprehensive to travel to foreign countrys on my own.. I havent been out of the country since 2006, and mostly that is due to having nobody to share the trip with. that and the exchange rate, lol..

traveling alone is the best, no one to listen too, just yourself and your aspirations, yeah the exchange rate has gone down the ****ter. dont wait for anyone to go with coz you might be waiting a while. i havent been out of the country in one year and im about to snap

 

[RecoveringAFC]

I just got back from a trip to Europe. Solo. There was me, a strange city I had never seen before and a language I didn't speak.

It was really amazing. To get by for simple daily tasks (buying food) you only need a few words and a finger. Point at things on the menu if you have to. For more fun learn some of the language.

For finding places, a good map (available everywhere in European cities) and a sense of adventure. So what if you get lost?? That's part of the fun. You never know what you'll find.

In airports and such where things can be a little confusing, look at the signs and follow everybody else. It usually gets you where you need to go.

I've done a few countries where I only speak a few words natively. I've made it home and survived with a few interesting stories as a result.

 

[joekerr31]

some simple comebacks to someone telling you that you are wierd for not settling down.....

'wow, you have a pretty limited view on life don't you? if everyone jumped off a cliff would you call me weird for not jumping off a cliff also?"

'I suppose it would make a lot of sense to settle down, have the kids and all of that if i were unhappy with life. then I could tell myself that my wife and kids were my reason for being. If only i actually were unhappy, then it would be much easier to follow in everyones footsteps. damn my happiness and contentment with my life. damn it to hell."

"If you think I'm weird you should see me with the lights out!"

"I wanted to see what marriage was like. So I dated this girl who was 30 pounds overweight. When I would go over to her place I asked her to leave her hair messy, wear a t-shirt and sweat pants with spaghettio stains on them, and to have a mp3 of a crying baby playing in the background. The experience left something to be desired."

 

[Mr. Me]

This comes from a number of people (all women apart from one of the biggest AFCs I've ever met) telling me there's something wrong with me for not wanting to settle down and follow the usual blueprint for life.

Imagine this: two people decide to make potato soup. One person starts dicing the potatoes, the other person says, "No! No! That's wrong! You're supposed to chop them!"

That person has been brought up a certain way and believes that's the only and best way to make potato soup.

 

[RedPill]

Also being 27, I get that sh1t frequently from people. It confuses and bothers the crap out of them when not only are you not looking to 'get wived' and subscribe to The Way™, but you don't have the slightest shame or guilt about not doing so.

I used to be more confrontational when the crabs tried to pull me back into the barrel. Now I just let them be right, don't engage them in their shaming attempts, and I've found that to be infinitely more powerful than any thought provoking comment or snappy one-liner comeback.

Next time you encounter this situation, try this:

Random woman: How come you don't have a girlfriend?
BadsnakeUK: Not looking for one.
Random woman: (shaming attempt 2) Don't worry, one day you'll find that special One.
BadsnakeUK: Not worried about it.
Random woman: (shaming attempt 3) I'd hook you up but I really don't have any single women friends.
BadsnakeUK: Thanks, I'll keep that in mind.
Random woman: (shaming attempt 4) Don't you want to get married?
BadsnakeUK: It could happen.

Never write when you can speak, never speak when you can nod, never nod when you can wink, and never wink when you can walk away and get your point across.

 

[guru1000]

This comes from a number of people (all women apart from one of the biggest AFCs I've ever met) telling me there's something wrong with me for not wanting to settle down and follow the usual blueprint for life.

Here is a little excerpt I shared with Reset in regard to the shaming tactic an AFC uses as to why you are not married yet. Remember many women are AFC's as well.

I agree a feminized society uses this as a shame tactic. But this as well is a shame tactic by AFCism. How many times do I get an AFC in his/her 50's asking "Why are you not married yet?"

How often would you hear this from a DJ in his 50's that has women crawling all over him (ie Power Brokers, Gurus of major industries)

This will always take us back to the Scarcity Mentality.

A woman in her 30's+ or an AFC holds no accountability for one's scarcity by adopting a "Must get married" idealogy. After all if one has a lack of prospects, than it is best get married right away. There is no pain associated with leaving the single life if one is scarce. One's marriage that stemmed from the original scarcity mentality becomes the new IDEAL. This AFC or feminist is rewarded with PLEASURE for their marriage. After all, marriage to an AFC is alot better than being scarcely single. This AFC then preaches his ideal of "MARRIAGE WILL SAVE YOU" to the "Not so Lucky" ones. This is the irony.

When I am appoached with the infamous "Why are you not married yet", I laugh. For one with an Abundance Mentality to settle down, he must meet an exceptional women that is many leagues ahead of his harem. In other words, I must associate an enormous amount of pleasure to marry ONE to surrender the pleasure I recieve from dating many.

Awareness of this fact is what separates the Naive AFC from the Genuine DJ.

 

[BadsnakeUK]

just curious if you travel alone. I am apprehensive to travel to foreign countrys on my own.. I havent been out of the country since 2006, and mostly that is due to having nobody to share the trip with. that and the exchange rate, lol..

I've travelled alone and in groups. I prefer travelling alone within reason (you'll always meet some cool people on the road anyway) - I wouldn't go anywhere too dodgy alone though out of common sense.

One of the best trips I had was when I was supposed to be with a group trekking in the Himalayas but got flown down with altitude sickness 2 days in. I was dumped in Delhi at 3am with £50 to last me 12 days so had to stay in the roughest places and travel like the locals. Such a difference and well worth it. Saw a lifestyle most tourists won't see and was amazed at how friendly everyone was. I'd always recommend travelling alone and on a shoestring.

 

[SouthernGal]

<-divorced

People ask me, "Why are you divorced?"
My response: "I'm smart" followed by, "The number one cause of divorce in America is marriage...can you believe it?"

 

[Scaramouche]

Come to Australia,
Unlike lots of the World Aussies and Kiwis love Yanks,free and easy life style,safer than the States,lots of lovely girls,clean food...Lots of space....

 

[Pathetik]

I just got back from a trip to Europe. Solo. There was me, a strange city I had never seen before and a language I didn't speak.

It was really amazing. To get by for simple daily tasks (buying food) you only need a few words and a finger. Point at things on the menu if you have to. For more fun learn some of the language.

For finding places, a good map (available everywhere in European cities) and a sense of adventure. So what if you get lost?? That's part of the fun. You never know what you'll find.

Hey!

I totaly agree with what RecoveringAFC said. (Sorry for my english by the way)
I went to Ireland for one year, alone, and that was one of my best life experience.
You have no choice but speak that foreign language if you want to live. By the way, people are, most of the time, friendly and make an effort to understand what you say even if you can't make great sentence.
It is a really good experience for getting less shy and more confident... Less an AFC in other words ^^

I've been told I was kinda weird too... I take it like a compliment coz it just means we are different from others. Which is a good thing, don't you think ?
So why not just answer : "Thanks ! "

My ex girlfriend is 31 and she is obsessed by being married and having child. We had great times together but one day, she told me that she didn't want to go ahead with me because she just could'nt imagine us married with childs.
Bull****.
I'm happier now, without her and all her insecurities. I just want to enjoy life and live the way I want to.

Thanks guys for all the advice you give. I'm full of hope thanks to you all !
Keep on going the good stuff

EDIT: I'm 26 ^^