Got to love chicks from online dating sites

[Stagger Lee]

Here is a good example of how they waste your time and are probably juggling a lot of c0cks. An excerpt from the email exchanges:

Her:... At any rate, interested in getting together some time??

Me: I'd be interested in meeting up, but not sure when that'd be if it's not before you go on the trip. (she is going on a trip out of the country on Wednesday)

Her: Ha, good point. I kind of forgot that I was leaving. Well, let me know if you're free at all Monday or Tuesday. If not, we'll just hold off.

3 hours later I responded:

Me: I haven't made any plans for Monday or Tuesday and would be free in the late evening.

Sent by her 3 hours later:

Her I just made plans for both Monday and Tuesday nights. I'm sorry. Let me know if you still want to try to get together when I get back.

Happy Monday
.................................................

What? It was her idea to want to meet up. And in a period of 3-6 hours before getting back to me first she has made plans for both days lol? It could be BS, she could've made plans with her friends, or maybe even with other guys, but any way you slice it is BS. I don't really give a care if I met her not, but the way females waste guys' time is ridiculous. I don't think I'll meet her after pulling this crap. If I were to make plans with her again, it'd most likely be the same crap next time.

 

[Knight's Cross]

Stagger,
You're putting to much into it. Until you've established a beach head (First date) most women will act flakey. That's been my experience. In this case I'd let her initiate contact after her trip, set a date then. In the mean time while she's gone, get out there and spin some more plates.
KC

 

[Lexington]

Numbers, numbers, numbers my friend. Given that the ratios are overwhelmingly in women's favor, they are constantly juggling lots of options. You must do the same. There is no point in investing much in in any one prospect. You just work a bunch of them simultaneously and see what happens.

 

[Tony T]

Agreed.

Let her make contact after her return.

Meanwhile, start working more HB's.

Using the online system, i think its fair to say you need to be working 5 at a time. What i mean by that is, conversing with 5 of more chicks whoa r willing to meet you. The others are just considered "in the horizon."

good luck!

Stagger,
You're putting to much into it. Until you've established a beach head (First date) most women will act flakey. That's been my experience. In this case I'd let her initiate contact after her trip, set a date then. In the mean time while she's gone, get out there and spin some more plates.
KC

 

[Stagger Lee]

I agree with all the posts, but I just saw this as a pretty blatant disrespect. She suggest meeting Monday or Tuesday and comes back a few hours later saying she just made plans for both days. She didn't have to say anything or could've said she found out she would be too busy with the trip coming up. I know all about flakey girls and numbers game, and females wasting a lot of your time. But this just seemed a little over the top and bordering on a sh!t test. I've written her off as a time wasting nut job lol.

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

In 3 hours she was making those plans with other guys from the same website. She definately made plans with those other guys.

 

[squirrels]

In 3 hours she was making those plans with other guys from the same website. She definately made plans with those other guys.

Very likely. Either that or she felt like you leaving her hanging was putting her at a disadvantage and she "fabricated" something to do to "save face" in front of you, or see how many hoops you would jump through to hang out with her.

(don't they recommend that crap in Cosmo now...make plans and then see if the guy will reschedule for you??)

Let her make contact after her return.

Which she won't.

Meanwhile, start working more HB's.

Which you should be doing anyway.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Staggers,
"she felt like you leaving her hanging was putting her at a disadvantage and she "fabricated" something to do to "save face" in front of you, or see how many hoops you would jump through to hang out with her."....
I think Squirrels has it right....Even the going OS may be fabricated,check her out.

 

[gaspipe]

Here is a good example of how they waste your time and are probably juggling a lot of c0cks. An excerpt from the email exchanges:

Her:... At any rate, interested in getting together some time??

Me: I'd be interested in meeting up, but not sure when that'd be if it's not before you go on the trip. (she is going on a trip out of the country on Wednesday)

Her: Ha, good point. I kind of forgot that I was leaving. Well, let me know if you're free at all Monday or Tuesday. If not, we'll just hold off.

3 hours later I responded:

Me: I haven't made any plans for Monday or Tuesday and would be free in the late evening.

Sent by her 3 hours later:

Her I just made plans for both Monday and Tuesday nights. I'm sorry. Let me know if you still want to try to get together when I get back.

Happy Monday
.................................................

What? It was her idea to want to meet up. And in a period of 3-6 hours before getting back to me first she has made plans for both days lol? It could be BS, she could've made plans with her friends, or maybe even with other guys, but any way you slice it is BS. I don't really give a care if I met her not, but the way females waste guys' time is ridiculous. I don't think I'll meet her after pulling this crap. If I were to make plans with her again, it'd most likely be the same crap next time.

Ive been doing the online dating thing for years as a supplement to my regular pickups. You just have to realize that a large majority of women there, especially the hot ones just dont have their heads screwed on right (i,e BPD) and are either attention wh0res trying to seek validation or have significant amount of baggage in their lives.

Ive experienced the scenario you have described and variations many times. Ive had women contact me, express interest initially and back out at the end.

As one of the posts suggest, it could be that this girl is fabricating stuff just to play games and see your reaction. Then again if she is even decent looking shes probably getting flooded by emails and at the last moment she saw someone she likes better. Who knows. You just have to sort through alot of BS and keep plugging away. its a numbers game pure and simple.

 

[Stagger Lee]

I don't see how she "wasted your time." Were you twiddling your thumbs for three hours waiting for her response? You're in charge of your time, not her.

The time reading and responding to her messages was a waste of time. Not a lot of time but a waste. Any time a woman is talking to you and leading to a dead end you could say it was a waste of time. It was also how many ever hours I could've made other plans for Monday and Tuesday that I left open because she presumably wanted to make plans. So it's not like you are in charge of your time unless you want to double book and renig, kind of like a woman does.The waste of time wasn't the real issue here, it was the manner she did it as the post explained.

 

[scrouds]

Me: I haven't made any plans for Monday or Tuesday and would be free in the late evening.

Weak man, very weak. She said she was available. Step up to the man's plate and plan a day and time. Instead you say something akin to "oh i'm free whenever you are"

The time reading and responding to her messages was a waste of time. Not a lot of time but a waste. Any time a woman is talking to you and leading to a dead end you could say it was a waste of time. It was also how many ever hours I could've made other plans for Monday and Tuesday that I left open because she presumably wanted to make plans. So it's not like you are in charge of your time unless you want to double book and renig, kind of like a woman does.The waste of time wasn't the real issue here, it was the manner she did it as the post explained.

and now you're kvetching about how she wasted all the 2 days you set aside for her. Get off it man.

 

[Stagger Lee]

Yeah yeah yeah. If I would've just did xyz instead and been a "real" man she would've met and drop her panties on sight, right? I've been doing online dating and pick up for years. I'm not looking for (condescending) pick up advice here or for someone to make a debate out of every post. I didn't care if we met up or not in the first place, just that her reply was over the top.

I consider that part of dating "overhead." You put in time with approaches, phone calls, date planning, etc. Sometimes the dates just don't happen. As long as you're not going overboard with your time investment, it should just be factored in to your modest investment of time towards your goals. The same way airlines factor in air traffic, weather, etc. in flight times, which is why if all goes smoothly you land much earlier than the ETA.

I guess what I'm saying is that when plans fall through, you should just write it off and find something else to do. That may sound like you're allowing yourself to be "disrespected," but I don't see what she did as that extreme. Had she canceled last minute, or stood you up, then yeah, that's more of a waste of your time and grounds for nexting. But in this case you took three hours, then she took three hours, and told you that she made plans. Sign of low interest perhaps, but in any case, nothing to get a bee in your bonnet over.

Well I agree with that to an extent but like I said the time wasting wasn't the real point. The whole point was she could go from asking me to hang out M or T and then come back tell me she just made plans for both days. I've talked to a lot of girls online and irl, some might ignoring you, give some plausible reason they can't go out, or just don't feel like it but I never seen one ask you to make plans then immediately go make plans for 2 consecutive days and come back and straight up tell you they just made plans for both days. Call it a disrespect, sh!t test, low interest or whatever, but I thought it was a little extreme and unusual and I lost all interest in talking to her any further.

 

[scrouds]

Yeah yeah yeah. If I would've just did xyz instead and been a "real" man she would've met and drop her panties on sight, right? I've been doing online dating and pick up for years. I'm not looking for (condescending) pick up advice here or for someone to make a debate out of every post. I didn't care if we met up or not in the first place, just that her reply was over the top.



Well I agree with that to an extent but like I said the time wasting wasn't the real point. The whole point was she could go from asking me to hang out M or T and then come back tell me she just made plans for both days. I've talked to a lot of girls online and irl, some might ignoring you, give some plausible reason they can't go out, or just don't feel like it but I never seen one ask you to make plans then immediately go make plans for 2 consecutive days and come back and straight up tell you they just made plans for both days. Call it a disrespect, sh!t test, low interest or whatever, but I thought it was a little extreme and unusual and I lost all interest in talking to her any further.

just get over it and move on.

 

[the_stig]

Snooze you loose. Spend any time at all in the online dating world and you'll come to realize this is very typical.

You took 3 hours to respond and some other guys beat you to the punch. Reminds me of a girl I was seeing from POF. We went out for drinks, and at some point during the night, she mentioned she almost made other plans because I didn't reply quick enough. Well guess what... I went back and checked my phone and it only took me six minutes to get back to her.

Who cares though.. there is a 50/50 chance she would have flaked anyways, and in the end she's just a low quality dime a dozen girl using online dating. I've been gaming on POF since 2006 and am starting to think it's no longer worth the hassle just to get laid once or twice a month. It peaked a few years ago, now it's garage.

You just have to realize that a large majority of women there, especially the hot ones just dont have their heads screwed on right (i,e BPD) and are either attention wh0res trying to seek validation or have significant amount of baggage in their lives.

Yup. Now matter how tight your game is, online dating can be extremely demoralizing and if you don't keep it in perspective it's easy to become very bitter. Some of those women are extremely brutal and will chew you up and spit you out for sport. Don't give them the chance if you can help it.

 

[Franky Four Fingers]

Me: I haven't made any plans for Monday or Tuesday and would be free in the late evening.

Sent by her 3 hours later:

Her I just made plans for both Monday and Tuesday nights. I'm sorry. Let me know if you still want to try to get together when I get back.

Happy Monday
.................................................

What? It was her idea to want to meet up. And in a period of 3-6 hours before getting back to me first she has made plans for both days lol?

The best reply I've read on SS for this was "Ok, but how are you going to make it up to me?"

1. She's flaking because ...well... she's flaky.
2. She's got too many other options.
3. It's a shvt test to see how you react.

Any way you cut it it's likely a waste of time. If she's like before even the first date God forbid you get into a relationship with her and see what happens.

YOU are the PRIZE and will not tolerate disrespectful behavior from ANY woman. Move on. Spin more plates. :box:

Weak man, very weak. She said she was available. Step up to the man's plate and plan a day and time. Instead you say something akin to "oh i'm free whenever you are"

Yeah he's got a valid point. This is one of the tenets here on sosuave. The man makes the solid plans up front always. Women want a take charge guy. Nothing wishy-washy. "Lets go to XYZ club Monday night" etc, not "I'm free Monday night maybe we should do something waddya say?".

 

[FrogWife]

Hi, I'm a woman... been lurking here for several months (I've learned a lot of really good stuff about men, male perspectives on relationships, etc. to help me deal with my own sh*t going on). My two cents: If I had been having a back-and-forth with a guy on email or text, suggested we get together and then didn't hear from him for three hours after my suggestion, I would assume he wasn't interested.

The fact that she's leaving on a major vacation means she probably had a lot of stuff going on, people she wants to see, things she needs to do to prepare in those last couple of days, so her time in this sense is probably even more tight.

 

[Poonani Maker]

My two cents: If I had been having a back-and-forth with a guy on email or text, suggested we get together and then didn't hear from him for three hours after my suggestion, I would assume he wasn't interested.

The fact that she's leaving on a major vacation means she probably had a lot of stuff going on, people she wants to see, things she needs to do to prepare in those last couple of days, so her time in this sense is probably even more tight.

You are a fvckhead. I've fvcked a young fine lady going on 6 weeks in a row minus one week, and because of all the fvckhead women out there like You, I thought that she was gonna flake on me one night because she didn't answer her phone. Welllll, she'd left her phone at Walgreens, and she couldn't remember where she'd left it and was searching for it while I was calling + one final text saying that I "couldn't make it tonight" (in order to bend the frame back to me). She finally called me back a half hour from my last text and told me that she'd lost her phone blah blah. I believed her, and I still believe everything she's ever said to me plus coughing up All of her baggage to me (ballsy on her part to get it all out there in front of me all her sh!t - I respect that). You wanna know why I believed her story? Because I fvcked her the next day. Get a fvckin or shut your fvckin mouth.

 

[FrogWife]

You are a fvckhead. I've fvcked a young fine lady going on 6 weeks in a row minus one week, and because of all the fvckhead women out there like You, I thought that she was gonna flake on me one night because she didn't answer her phone. Welllll, she'd left her phone at Walgreens, and she couldn't remember where she'd left it and was searching for it while I was calling + one final text saying that I "couldn't make it tonight" (in order to bend the frame back to me). She finally called me back a half hour from my last text and told me that she'd lost her phone blah blah. I believed her, and I still believe everything she's ever said to me plus coughing up All of her baggage to me (ballsy on her part to get it all out there in front of me all her sh!t - I respect that). You wanna know why I believed her story? Because I fvcked her the next day. Get a fvckin or shut your fvckin mouth.

Yikes - is English your first language? Anyway, my point being, I've had the same thing happen to me as well. I had a back-and-forth going with a guy I f*cked from time to time, he asked if I was free, I waited a couple of hours to respond and when I did, he'd made other plans because he thought I wasn't interested in seeing him. He wasn't "flaking" and we still continue to see (bang) each other. The lesson I learned - just like someone said above - you snooze, you lose, so now I make sure to answer yes or no right away and so does he. Unless, of course, we "lose our phones at Walgreens".

 

[Stagger Lee]

Hi, I'm a woman... been lurking here for several months (I've learned a lot of really good stuff about men, male perspectives on relationships, etc. to help me deal with my own sh*t going on). My two cents: If I had been having a back-and-forth with a guy on email or text, suggested we get together and then didn't hear from him for three hours after my suggestion, I would assume he wasn't interested.

The fact that she's leaving on a major vacation means she probably had a lot of stuff going on, people she wants to see, things she needs to do to prepare in those last couple of days, so her time in this sense is probably even more tight.

Dumbest thing I ever read. Who doesn't wait at least a few hours if not up till at least a day for someone to return an email message? On top of that she claimed to made plans for BOTH days in that short period of time. This is just so stupid on so many levels. Me and the girl were having a discussion about meeting up, but it was not a chat or texting, so your idea that if a guy doesn't answer your last email within a few hours is retarded. Maybe he wasn't online and hadn't even read it yet? I guess that's chick logic for you.

 

[FrogWife]

Dumbest thing I ever read. Who doesn't wait at least a few hours if not up till at least a day for someone to return an email message? On top of that she claimed to made plans for BOTH days in that short period of time. This is just so stupid on so many levels. Me and the girl were having a discussion about meeting up, but it was not a chat or texting, so your idea that if a guy doesn't answer your last email within a few hours is retarded. Maybe he wasn't online and hadn't even read it yet? I guess that's chick logic for you.

Wow, sounds like you're really angry over some girl you barely know not being free to see you. Oh well, better luck next time with your "boy logic". It appears to be working really well for you so maybe I should take notes!