Got to be with the girl I've liked for 2 years, but it's over...

[thadder]

I had liked a girl for over 2 years, we were friends, and she had been dating someone prior. Whenever we'd meet up, we'd just hang out and have fun. When I found out that her and her boyfriend of 2 years broke up, I told her I liked her.

We started hanging out and having fun. She was quick to bring up the "exclusive" talk, but didn't want to be official just yet.

During the time we were together, we did a bunch of fun things, and we mutually decided to become official. I told her I loved her a few months after, and she said the same thing. She told me she was falling for me, that I made her happy and cared for me.

But overtime, she didn't like the fact that I would share a good majority of things on my mind, but we learned not to dwell on things or think about it. But something happened in which it really set her off and caused her to break up with me.

I have a feeling that I may have given too much affection in the relationship and she was more about "go with the flow" -- though I know at times I was a little more serious as I had been single for 4 years and liked her so much. She eventually said she wanted space from me and has me blocked on social media (such as Snapchat, Instagram) but not Facebook.

All of the relationship happened relatively quickly (she said) and she wanted to take a step back, and while trying to -- she decided it was best to end things. She said she needed to be single for a while.

While I was equally as frustrated about it, whenever she had an issue, I'd never lose my cool, I'd just listen to her and offer my insight on it. That is until the other night when I just stepped back and looked at it and realized that she was at times unkind to me, like I was being taken for granted. I told her this in a text and she said "I don't want to talk about it, and after you tell me, respect that I want space from you."

I'm learning to just let her have her time and see what happens, though it stings like hell. Any input?

 

[goldengoose]

But overtime, she didn't like the fact that I would share a good majority of things on my mind

Like I told another guy in a thread yesterday, don't share your feelings, fears, weaknesses with a woman. She will use that against you at some point. You are bascically telling her you weakness which gives her the upper hand. She will lose respect because she thinks you should be able to handle that stuff because you are a man. She doesn't want to be your problem solver. She expects you to fix it. Her attitude towards you will change and she will be unkind to you. You were being taken for granted because you were doing and telling her too much. When you do too much she will either get turned off or expect you to keep doing those things. When you stop doing them or don't do it as much that will turn her off.

Saying "I Love You" to her and telling her that you "liked her" first wasn't good either. Let her say that to you and let her show you that she likes you. Don't say that stuff.

Sounds like it was a fun relationship just to have sex and fun. Which is exactly what you want. You caught feelings, went overboard, with beta and Afcness, did, said, admitted too much, that turned her off to where she let you go and blocked you.

You know what you did wrong, don't do it with the next girl. Learn from your mistakes that's what we all do to get better.

 

[thadder]

He's BAAAAACCCKKKKKK!!!!!

...and about her saying 'I love you' so soon - Women don't know what love is. They'll say things in the heat of a moment, riding high on emotion, then when the moment, or time period, is over, she'll take a step back and think 'whoa. I didn't mean that.'

It's no fault of your own. They're just overly emotional creatures.

When I was over at her place for the break up, I asked her "Well don't you care for me?" And she kind of pushed the question aside.

When I texted her and told her that I was frustrated on how she treated me at times, in which she said I should tell her. She said "If it will make you feel better, then say it"

So I'm kind of leaning towards that she still cares about me, just needs space from me so perhaps eventually I come back down and realize that I was being a woman, not a man.

 

[mikey2012]

Who gives a fvck!! Next her

 

[VladPatton]

Some other guy's moving into the picture, whether it's the old boyfriend or a new guy. Sever all contact and find a better deal. She's done with you and you need to eliminate her from your life.

 

[thadder]

Some other guy's moving into the picture, whether it's the old boyfriend or a new guy. Sever all contact and find a better deal. She's done with you and you need to eliminate her from your life.

This thought ran in my head, but she's never been a cheater, nor one to leave someone for someone else unless she's out of a relationship.

I think that I definitely overwhelmed her to a point where I should have had the mindset of leaving it all at just having fun, but got caught up with mixing in my feelings of wanting to be with her for so long and she being out of a relationship (like literally a month after she broke it off, we were hanging out)

But one interesting thing too is that she would act b**chy around me at times, her friends would notice and it would bother friends that she would treat me like that. Now when I say b**chy I mean like a playful mean, and I brushed it off. But this annoyed her so much and she didn't want her friends thinking that.

She said when we broke up "I had it put into perspective, that when I was around you, I was acting b**chy, but when I wasn't around you, I wasn't acting like that."

Personally to me, it sounds like a deep rooted issue, but I guess I'll never know.

 

[MOTU]

Who gives a fvck!! Next her

^^^this. Move on to the next one. ^^^

 

[Harry Wilmington]

I had liked a girl for over 2 years, we were friends, and she had been dating someone prior. Whenever we'd meet up, we'd just hang out and have fun. When I found out that her and her boyfriend of 2 years broke up, I told her I liked her.

Mistake #1: You don't verbalize to a woman that you like her. You simply ask her on a date - the ACTION of asking her out will let her know you like her on some level. However, it won't scare her away because she won't know how intense that like is. You saying "I like you" is too direct; it makes her feel like you're saying you're ready to marry her, and she doesn't even know how she feels about you yet!

We started hanging out and having fun. She was quick to bring up the "exclusive" talk, but didn't want to be official just yet.

Mistake #2: She brought up "exclusive" talk to appease you since she didn't want to hurt your feelings. However, by not making it official when she brought it up, she was still having doubts.

During the time we were together, we did a bunch of fun things, and we mutually decided to become official. I told her I loved her a few months after, and she said the same thing. She told me she was falling for me, that I made her happy and cared for me.

Mistake #3: Why in such a rush to mouth the "I love you's?" Again, your ACTIONS should be saying this, not your lips. And, when those words do come into the picture, SHE should be the one saying it first; if you say it too early, you're basically looking like the woman in the relationship, and as far as I've read thus far she's not a lesbian, so....

But overtime, she didn't like the fact that I would share a good majority of things on my mind, but we learned not to dwell on things or think about it.

Mistake #4: You never share ALL of your thoughts with a woman. Especially if they involve feelings, you verbally express them on special occasions (birthdays, holidays, promotions at her job, etc.); otherwise, you do it through ACTIONS.

But something happened in which it really set her off and caused her to break up with me. I have a feeling that I may have given too much affection in the relationship and she was more about "go with the flow" -- though I know at times I was a little more serious as I had been single for 4 years and liked her so much. She eventually said she wanted space from me and has me blocked on social media (such as Snapchat, Instagram) but not Facebook.

Mistake #5: You were taking the relationship too seriously. Yes, relationships are serious things, but they're also meant to be fun. You constantly telling her how you were feeling, or calling/texting her all the time, or not giving her a chance to breathe by constantly being around her does NOT make a relationship feel "fun" for a woman. It makes it feel too intense, too fast, and she can become annoyed with you VERY quickly. The fact that she was asking for space tells me that you were seeing her waaaaay too much - and yes, even a woman that is head over heels for you needs the occasional break from your presence.

All of the relationship happened relatively quickly (she said) and she wanted to take a step back, and while trying to -- she decided it was best to end things. She said she needed to be single for a while.

Not surprised by any of this. Oh, and she lied to you - she doesn't NEED to be single, she needs to NOT be dating you because you were too intense for her. Best believe if she met a hot guy tomorrow her "need" to be single would not be there.

While I was equally as frustrated about it, whenever she had an issue, I'd never lose my cool, I'd just listen to her and offer my insight on it. That is until the other night when I just stepped back and looked at it and realized that she was at times unkind to me, like I was being taken for granted. I told her this in a text and she said "I don't want to talk about it, and after you tell me, respect that I want space from you."

Mistake #6: You allowed her to treat you unkindly. You train people to treat you a certain way, and because you weren't sticking up for yourself it became acceptable for her to talk to you in any sort of way. Which, ironically enough, is another reason she dumped you - she doesn't respect you because you didn't demand respect in the first place.

Reality check: once a girl starts saying things like "I need space" or "I'm blocking you from social media" or "I don't want to talk about things," it means she's OUT. And yeah, it sucks, but the sooner you accept it, the sooner you'll be able to move on. Allow me to say it again: she's OUT. She's NOT interested. There is NO POINT in trying to get her back because she does NOT want to be gotten back by you. You can ask us 100 times over if there's any thing you can say or do to turn this around - and the answer is NO, there is not.

You have to understand that when a woman walks away, she didn't just decide it in that moment - she decided it WEEKS before she actually did it. So, by the time she makes that decision, she's officially DONE because she stayed in the situation longer than she wanted to just to make sure her decision was final. And I get it, it's hard not to take personally because your ego doesn't want to believe that someone as nice as you who would treat her so well would end up getting dumped for seemingly no reason at all. But it happens. It sucks, but it happens. And when it DOES happen, you need to go through the necessary emotions (anger, confusion, etc.) so you can eventually get over it.

 

[rhythmic]

This thought ran in my head, but she's never been a cheater, nor one to leave someone for someone else unless she's out of a relationship.

Don't pigeonhole women into categories. They all react to circumstances. In the right circumstances a nun will become a slvt.

From personal experience, a good girl will jump on some D if you don't keep her in line. I don't even mean that in a misogynistic way. You show dominance, a woman will obey. You show submissive... You're on toast. Biology.

 

[thadder]

A week has passed.

At first, it was really hard and my mind would start to race. But as I had time away, I began to realize that I lost touch with myself. That I actually was acting more like a kid, than I was an adult.

I didn't stand up for myself, and I let her push me a bit far, I spoke with her friend last night and she told me she called her out for being a b*tch to me, that it bothered her friend so much that she couldn't take it. Apparently, some of my friends also mentioned that she was acting like a b*tch to me -- I definitely know she had moments of being sweet, but other times just unreasonable. Her friend told her that she shouldn't ever treat someone like that, especially someone who was so appreciative to her.

I told her this, even though people say "No contact for 30 days" -- I still felt that it was necessary to tell her this because I have realized it from stepping back too. I don't know what made it seem right or gave her permission to be like this (other than the fact that I probably let it slide for way too long and didn't stand my ground) -- but that I wasn't going to be aggressive or a controlling boyfriend at best.

So she's heard that she was mean from multiple people including me, and now I've decided to get on with my life, I've joined a gym and going to dive deeper into my work -- because she needs to know that someone like me only comes around once, and if you can't realize that someone can accept you for you, help work through things and be reasonable, then you don't deserve them.

Sucks, because the sex was good, but her loss.