Got the number, how long til you reach out?
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amazingswayze
Master Don Juan
calling yields a higher success rate because she hears your voice tone and you prove yourself as being different from most of the guys that only text her.
call her whenever feels right. be not contained by formula.
call her whenever feels right. be not contained by formula.
Top Of The Game
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Call today. Right after you read this message. Don't listen to that internet fear crap of coming off like you are needy.
Needy men come off like they are needy. No matter what they do. It leaks out of their skin. Its in their walk, talk, stance and everything that they do.
Hoping your not needy give her a call. Don't wait that 7 day crap pua's push.
I've called females that I met at a club that night right after leaving if I didn't pull em that night ( designated drivers, kids, etch).
What those theory guys are not aware of is that women have options. They will forget about meeting you after 7 days. Especially if she met you at a nightclub. She has probably handed her digits out to a few other heads so put your bid in early.
Get up in her ear or eye.
Needy men come off like they are needy. No matter what they do. It leaks out of their skin. Its in their walk, talk, stance and everything that they do.
Hoping your not needy give her a call. Don't wait that 7 day crap pua's push.
I've called females that I met at a club that night right after leaving if I didn't pull em that night ( designated drivers, kids, etch).
What those theory guys are not aware of is that women have options. They will forget about meeting you after 7 days. Especially if she met you at a nightclub. She has probably handed her digits out to a few other heads so put your bid in early.
Get up in her ear or eye.
Harry Wilmington
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Yeah... don't listen to this.Top Of The Game said:
Sorry, guys, but... the worst thing you can tell a guy that's bad with women is that it "doesn't matter when you call," or "she has other options, so call her now so she won't forget you!" As a former "horribly bad with women" guy, I can tell you with much certainty that calling too soon or too much DOES, in fact, have a negative effect on her interest in you.
So, allow me to answer your question, OP...
After several years of dating and many, many attempts at this, I have determined that 4 days of waiting is the sweet spot. What is the rationale behind this number of days, you ask? Allow me to break it down:
1. You meet her at a bar/party/group gathering situation. I will assume that, if you're able to get into a conversation with her, you'll spend at least 15 to 30 minutes with her talking, making her laugh, and giving her enough of a positive impression of you to where she'll agree to give you the number. So far, so good...
2. At this point, most guys will tell you, "CALL HER RIGHT AWAY, SHE HAS OTHER OPTIONS!!" But girls aren't like us - just because they have other options doesn't mean she wants to CHOOSE any of them. Just because other guys are going after her doesn't mean she WANTS them. However, she gave YOU the number, which means 2 things: one, you made a good enough impression on you to where she won't forget you; and two, her ego is going to want you to call to validate how desired she feels she is or should be. This second thing is the main reason you want to wait 4 days, which I'll explain further...
3. So, you get the number. In her head, she already assumes you're going to call/text her that same night, much like all the other guys she's ever given her number to have done. And guess what? If you do this, she's going to reject you like she did all those other guys. Why? Comes off needy as mentioned above, but you've also taken away some of the mystery and excitement for her. Girls NEED to have feelings of wondering if you're going to call, if she was good enough for you to want to hit up... by you calling too early, her brain goes "Yep, he likes me alright," which takes away some of the excitement and build up she needed to like you even MORE.
4. If you don't call her that same night, her brain assumes you're going to call the next morning - again, like many previous guys have done that she's blown off. If you don't call that day, though, her ego starts rationalizing - "Oh, I see, he's just trying to play it cool. Or he's busy, or maybe he's talking to other girls - probably the player type. Still, I hope he calls... sure, he'll call..."
5. If you don't call her the next day, she starts assuming AND hoping that you'll call her on day two. If you do, you have a better shot than most guys but it's still somewhat expected, and thus not as effective as if you wait til day 4. If you don't call on day two, her ego helps you out again by obsessing over why you haven't called. Remember, in order for her to feel validated about her looks and attractiveness, she WANTS you to call... but that doesn't mean it's yet NEEDED. Her ego: "Wow, still no call? I was sure he liked me... we had a good convo, I came across as flirty... I'm pretty, dang it! Why won't he call? Maybe he's playing games with me... I don't know if I want a game player... grrr, this is so frustrating! Maybe I should call him... oh wait, I don't have his number?? Did he give me his last name? Maybe I can look him up on facebook..." At this point, she starts trying to track you down online, and talking to her girlfriends for 2 hours about why you possibly haven't called her yet.
A quick pause: now, what exactly is all of this doing? It's causing her to convince herself that she really DOES like you! She'll think, "if I'm looking him up online and talking about him constantly with my friends and feeling this frustrated at him not calling me... maybe it's because I actually have feelings for him!" In other words: by you NOT calling her so soon, her brain/ego is doing all the work to build you up, and you're not even there!
6. Now, most girls are assuming a guy will wait no more than 3 days to call, even if they're playing the "waiting game." If you call her on day 3, you have a better chance with her than the guys who waited until day 2... but again, we're going for MAXIMUM effectiveness here. If you don't call on day 3, her ego now has her not only DESPERATE for your attention, but also thinks they may have lost you forever. "Welp, it's been 3 days, and no call yet?!? I knew it - he probably met some other girl at a club and is having a nicer time with her than he had with me. Why didn't I get his number so I could call him?!? (Note: if you did give her your number, day 3 is around the time that THEY will call YOU if they are really feeling you.) I should have done more to make an impression on him, or flirted with him more, or maybe even have gone home with him - SOMETHING to have made him remember me. Ugh, I finally meet a nice guy and I screw it up! I still hope he calls, but probably shouldn't hold my breath... grrrr..."
Notice the emotions she's feeling? Notice how, despite the wait, she still wants him to call?? These feelings only make a girl want you MORE - and these are the type of feelings that get riled up in her IF you wait a few days to call her.
7. Finally, day 4. At this point, she figures she's never going to hear from you again. So, when you dial up her number (because this isn't nearly as effective via text) and say, "Hey Susie, it's so-and-so from the bar, how've you been?" A swift array of thoughts and feelings come over her:
- Excitement (Oh boy, he called!)
- Confirmation of attractiveness (Oh boy, he must think I'm attractive!)
- A bit of frustration (He waited four days to call - but I still don't know why!)
- Satisfaction at being able to talk to you again (Oh boy, he sounds even sexier than the first time we met!)
- A need to be in your presence, in whatever capacity that may be (Oh boy, I hope he asks me out or asks me to do something)
This last one is of particular note. See, her brain is going to rationalize that part of the reason you waited so long to call was because she didn't do a good enough job the first time of making herself stand out from the other women she THINKS you may possibly be talking to. Which means, she's going to tell herself that she needs to do something more than just "talk and look pretty" to secure your attention.
The result? You can pretty much ask her out on any type of date you want, AND have it go towards whatever you want it to, including sleeping with them.
BTW: I'm sure there will be plenty of people who will comment on all of this not being necessary, or still believing that there's no scientific proof that waiting 4 days to call a girl works any better than calling her the next day, or immediately after. And I'm all open for discussions about that. But I'm just telling you what's worked for me, and for me, waiting 4 days has resulted in more first/second date hookups than when I was trying to call/text them immediately after getting their number. Sooooo... yeah, go with what works for you, but it certainly doesn't hurt to give the "4 day wait" thing a shot :rockon:
Lozboss
Master Don Juan
Harry,
Quick question if you don't mind:
How long to wait for OLD (POF/Tinder) after you get their number?
Quick question if you don't mind:
How long to wait for OLD (POF/Tinder) after you get their number?
Harry Wilmington
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Easy - during the first date.Lozboss said:
When doing online dating, I never, EVER asked for their numbers. The way I see it, the site is designed so I can build up enough of an impression on a girl to ask her for a date on the site. Asking for the number instead can actually end up blocking a date from happening. So, what I do is send a few messages back and forth (like 3 or 4), then TELL them (not ask, tell) that I'd like to continue the conversation off-line, and that we should meet up at a coffee shop/bookstore/restaurant (if I'm hungry, not to impress her) the next day (or sometimes the same day, depending on if we were chatting early in the morning). That's how I got with the girl I'm with now, actually - she hit me up in the A.M., and after the 4th message I said "Hey, you busy tonight? Let's meet up and continue the conversation."
All that to say - so, I don't ask for the number; I set up the date. After that, they'll usually ask for my number or send me theirs in case they're running late or need to contact me should they get lost (which has happened) - but even with this I encourage them to NOT call me, and to save our convo for the actual date. I even say in the message, "Okay, so we'll meet at x-place at x-time - I'll talk to you some more then!" That way, they get the hint I'm not trying to do a phone call beforehand.
womenhater
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Why should she be special to wait a specific number of days to call?Harry Wilmington said:
O.P. should call the broad whenever he feels like it. So long as he is non-needy and treats it like he's calling anyone its no big deal.
No one waits a pre determined set of days to call all kinds of people back. Family, friends, broads etc. They call when they want.
Rules are meant to be broken. If the broad doesnt like that he called before your 4 day rule why should he care unless hes going to always second guess every step he makes around her walking on eggshells.
Call when you want O.P. you are a man and you do what you want when you want to unless you are going to live your life according to what you think the woman prefers all the time.
Just keep it light and casual. Quick and guage how the call goes. If good set something up.
Do what you want. Fvck rules.
Good responses. Usually when I meet a woman at a bar, we talk 5-10 minutes then I tell her I gotta run to see my buddies. Get her number and done. I'll NEVER go more then 15 minutes unless I am taking her home.
I usually get 4-5 numbers a night from the bar, sometimes I forget to even reach all of them. I have experimented from calling the next day to waiting 2 days to waiting 5 days! reactions are all the same. I've found that most girls that I have called wont even pick up the phone, goes to voicemail and then they reach back out to me by text (their safety net).
For example:
Waited 2 Days (Amanda): Called her up, spoke for 8 minutes, confirmed a date. Done.
Waited 5 days (Sarah): I went the text route (I shouldn't have done), we sent 2-3 messages, she was happy that I reached out to her and then I tried setting a date cause I was going to be in hometown. No response.
Waited next day (Abbie): The girl saves her name, puts down her fb link and is a digit short on the phone number. I reached out to her the next day (via Facebook):
Me: "You saved all your information in my phone and was a digital short on the number, are you new with cell phones?".
Her response: "Hahahha Hello Hello! Good to hear from you, how was the rest of your night?"
2-3 messages later, I asked her out for tuesday, she said she was busy with yoga til 9. I suggested another night and asked when is she free? No response.
At this point, its been 50/50. Suggestions are welcome.
I usually get 4-5 numbers a night from the bar, sometimes I forget to even reach all of them. I have experimented from calling the next day to waiting 2 days to waiting 5 days! reactions are all the same. I've found that most girls that I have called wont even pick up the phone, goes to voicemail and then they reach back out to me by text (their safety net).
For example:
Waited 2 Days (Amanda): Called her up, spoke for 8 minutes, confirmed a date. Done.
Waited 5 days (Sarah): I went the text route (I shouldn't have done), we sent 2-3 messages, she was happy that I reached out to her and then I tried setting a date cause I was going to be in hometown. No response.
Waited next day (Abbie): The girl saves her name, puts down her fb link and is a digit short on the phone number. I reached out to her the next day (via Facebook):
Me: "You saved all your information in my phone and was a digital short on the number, are you new with cell phones?".
Her response: "Hahahha Hello Hello! Good to hear from you, how was the rest of your night?"
2-3 messages later, I asked her out for tuesday, she said she was busy with yoga til 9. I suggested another night and asked when is she free? No response.
At this point, its been 50/50. Suggestions are welcome.
Lozboss
Master Don Juan
Will keep that in mind for future matches- cheers!Harry Wilmington said:
I'd welcome your advice- got about 10 matches from yesterday who I've got their phone numbers and said I'll be in touch to organize something. Should I wait a few days or just text them tonight saying:
'Hey, XYZ, It's Lozboss, How did your Monday turn out? I'm free on wednesday or friday- which one works for you?'
Appreciate the advice Harry
SmooveMooves
Master Don Juan
Unless you're 35+ calling over text does not improve your odds. Any younger and they will be accustomed to text and will feel more comfortable answering text. However, what it really boils down to is interest. If she's interested she'll answer a bottled message thrown in the ocean.
4 days is way too long to wait. Women these days move fast and go out multiple nights. As much as you'd like to think you're special and you two had a moment, she's not gonna remember some random she gave her number to 4 nights ago, unless you were hitting her with lvl 9, S ranked game. I vaguely rememberer what I had for breakfast 2 nights ago. Hit her up the next day, strike why the irons hot, go for what you want. You'll be fresh, she'll remember your jokes, if you were cute or not, and if she was seriously interested.
Hitting her up the next day doesn't show desperation, that's why you got her number, to use it.. It wasn't for shíts and giggles. If that was the case, getting her number shows desperation too. "You must not have any other numbers if you're trying to get hers"./Sarcasm
4 days is way too long to wait. Women these days move fast and go out multiple nights. As much as you'd like to think you're special and you two had a moment, she's not gonna remember some random she gave her number to 4 nights ago, unless you were hitting her with lvl 9, S ranked game. I vaguely rememberer what I had for breakfast 2 nights ago. Hit her up the next day, strike why the irons hot, go for what you want. You'll be fresh, she'll remember your jokes, if you were cute or not, and if she was seriously interested.
Hitting her up the next day doesn't show desperation, that's why you got her number, to use it.. It wasn't for shíts and giggles. If that was the case, getting her number shows desperation too. "You must not have any other numbers if you're trying to get hers"./Sarcasm
Who Dares Win
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Lets say that you call and she doesnt pick it up, either cause she is not there or she doesnt want.
Do you leave a message (either voice or sms) or simply let her see the missed call and wait to get called back?
Do you leave a message (either voice or sms) or simply let her see the missed call and wait to get called back?
marmel75
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I always used to get numbers from OLD and the amount of time varied depending on how many others I was talking to. Rule of thumb I used was not to contact a woman until you could meet with her sometime that week. Once you are in contact with them, you need to meet quickly or you get pushed to the back burner. I've successfully waited over 3 weeks before contacting a woman on POF and gotten a same week date which turned into a lay on date 2.Lozboss said:
In short, if they like you it doesn't matter how long you wait, but if you contact them and then don't meet up soon afterwards, you get classified into one of those "text buddy" categories or guys that don't want to meet...I don't know its kind of weird but that's what I had learned from doing this quite a bit in the past...
marmel75
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Always ask them what nights they are free or what their schedule is like. That way they will TELL you what nights they are available and then you simply pick one that you want. Avoids you having to re-ask again which can look not so god on your part...Drummer93 said:
marmel75
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No, never leave a message on the first try...try again later and if still no response, shot them a text and say something like "Well, I normally prefer talking on the phone, but I suppose texting works OK too..."Who Dares Win said:
amazingswayze
Master Don Juan
quality over quantity
I think IL is one of the most important factors if you want her to return your calls, first dates, second date.
Gauge that interest level. You will get better over time.
Is she holding a fake conversation with you at the bar, hoping you scram?
Or is she a genuine person?
Quality over quantity.
You can't be sure with these girls nowadays. Instead of thinking to yourself, "I got a number!", You should ask yourself, "Is it a quality number?"Drummer93 said:
I think IL is one of the most important factors if you want her to return your calls, first dates, second date.
Gauge that interest level. You will get better over time.
Is she holding a fake conversation with you at the bar, hoping you scram?
Or is she a genuine person?
Quality over quantity.
I agreee.. everytime i aim high! i could careless about how many numbers i get, heck i dont even get excited anymore, its all about day 2.amazingswayze said:
Sarah ended up reaching out to me via text and said she would like to meet up. I called her to discuss a place i had in mind, no answer, left voicemail.
Today i picked up a grocery cashier's number lol, as everyone was waiting in line. Shes a 7, good practice. She told me to text her but ill let it sit then reach out to her.
pyros
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isnt it frustrating how numbers mean absolutely nothing nowadays?
isnt it frustrating how making out with a woman means nothing nowadays?
isnt it frustrating how going on a few dates with a woman means nothing nowadays?
isnt it frustrating how banging a woman means nothing nowadays?
Crazy times...
isnt it frustrating how making out with a woman means nothing nowadays?
isnt it frustrating how going on a few dates with a woman means nothing nowadays?
isnt it frustrating how banging a woman means nothing nowadays?
Crazy times...
RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
Don't call right away. Wait a few days... it sets you apart for other dudes she gives her number to. Sure she'll think/know you're playing games and if she gets ticked off and won't go out or b!tch you out then guess what... she didn't really like you anyway. If a woman likes you... making her wait adds to her attraction. If she won't go out giving you the excuse that you should have called sooner.... you NEVER had a chance anyway, you just saved the cost of a date.
When you do eventually call her ..... CALL her... no texting. Leave a message if she doesn't pick up, ONE MESSAGE. If she doesn't call back assume she is not interested and move on. Some will tell you to call after a week. I don't.... if I leave a message I will not call again.... guess what.... eventually they WILL call you back with some kind of 'screwed up VM problem. When this happens she's just playing games because you waited to call her.
When you do eventually call her ..... CALL her... no texting. Leave a message if she doesn't pick up, ONE MESSAGE. If she doesn't call back assume she is not interested and move on. Some will tell you to call after a week. I don't.... if I leave a message I will not call again.... guess what.... eventually they WILL call you back with some kind of 'screwed up VM problem. When this happens she's just playing games because you waited to call her.
