Got the hots for my friend

[Aesthetix29]

Hey,

It’s been a while since I was last here but I currently have a situation where I’m not sure if I’m reading the signals correctly.

I have a female friend of about 18 months, we met on a dating app ... dated a few times got a little bit physical and then things just dropped off, most likely due to no one really making the first move ... anyway a few months later she reached out again and since then we have been really good friends to which we kind of go out on day trips together now etc ...

Recently I’ve kind of got the hots for her again but I don’t know if she feels the same way at all ... there are things she does that makes me think she’s interested in just more than friendship but then other times I just can’t read her.

She was messaging me around 2-5 times a week to do something whether it be a drive out for food or a drive out for a nice summer walk .. so we go out together do everything a couple would except the physical part,

But I’m at a point now where it’s make or break

I think maybe the ships already sailed and I’ve missed my opportunity.

Are we just mates or is there something more there and she’s just not very good at flirting.

Just don’t want to be flogging a dead horse and wasting even more time.

Cheers

 

[Focal core]

Hi Op.. Write this down and put it in your wallet for reminder.

To fully love takes courage. To accept love fully takes self-esteem.

Escalate things, dont afraid being actualize on your feelings.. If she said no, you will have no regret.

Go made a dinner date with her.

 

[Aesthetix29]

You can try making a move, but at this point, you're likely to get the "I don't want to ruin our friendship" bit.

Yeah I was also thinking this ... this is what I meant by saying the ship had already sailed ha ha ... cheers bro

 

[Aesthetix29]

Hi Op.. Write this down and put it in your wallet for reminder.

To fully love takes courage. To accept love fully takes self-esteem.

Escalate things, dont afraid being actualize on your feelings.. If she said no, you will have no regret.

Go made a dinner date with her.

Hey bro, this is the other side of the coin .... sometimes I think I stand a chance ... I might just have to make a move and see what happens ... at least I will know right.

Its like I get the vibe she wants to be something more.

3 weeks a go she asked me to Alton towers theme park ... her daughter was there with her boyfriend .. she said she didn’t want to feel like a 3rd wheel .. but again she could of asked a female friend but she didn’t.

Just need to know how and what she’s feeling.

 

[Focal core]

Hey bro, this is the other side of the coin .... sometimes I think I stand a chance ... I might just have to make a move and see what happens ... at least I will know right.

Exactly this, soon you will learn to appreciate your feelings if you honor and act on it. We are human, and human rely on his guts as a main compass guiding our life.

Its like I get the vibe she wants to be something more.

3 weeks a go she asked me to Alton towers theme park ... her daughter was there with her boyfriend .. she said she didn’t want to feel like a 3rd wheel .. but again she could of asked a female friend but she didn’t.

Just need to know how and what she’s feeling.

Its all good there,means shes comfortable with your company. Theres some interest there. She could be waiting for you to act on it.

Otherwise the ships already sailed and you missed your opportunity just like you said, except the opportunity hasnt passed yet.

 

[derby1]

Time to swallow 1000mg of Beta Blockers,

Don the Versace Lenses

and show her, who the real pioneer is.

 

[dude99]

Hey,

It’s been a while since I was last here but I currently have a situation where I’m not sure if I’m reading the signals correctly.

I have a female friend of about 18 months, we met on a dating app ... dated a few times got a little bit physical and then things just dropped off, most likely due to no one really making the first move ... anyway a few months later she reached out again and since then we have been really good friends to which we kind of go out on day trips together now etc ...

Recently I’ve kind of got the hots for her again but I don’t know if she feels the same way at all ... there are things she does that makes me think she’s interested in just more than friendship but then other times I just can’t read her.

She was messaging me around 2-5 times a week to do something whether it be a drive out for food or a drive out for a nice summer walk .. so we go out together do everything a couple would except the physical part,

But I’m at a point now where it’s make or break

I think maybe the ships already sailed and I’ve missed my opportunity.

Are we just mates or is there something more there and she’s just not very good at flirting.

Just don’t want to be flogging a dead horse and wasting even more time.

Cheers

Pursue other women. Date them, fack them. Tell her all about it. Her reaction to "not having you" will tell you everything you need to know.

Besides do not get hung up on one girl. Pursue, Date spin those plates.

 

[firstbornunicorn]

This has happened to me a couple times, but I was the one who "friendzoned" them, so spinning it around is easy. As long as you didn't act super cringey or weak there could be something there. ngl, this is my favourite way of starting relationships (slow). If she's attracted she will be down.

 

[derby1]

Try to give the guy some real advice.

What's the purpose of a response like this? Are you expecting 13 people to respond and tell you this is the funniest thing they've ever read?

I dont seek external validation, unlike someone who shares AMS videos, and memes

 

[bat soup]

Hey,

It’s been a while since I was last here but I currently have a situation where I’m not sure if I’m reading the signals correctly.

I have a female friend of about 18 months, we met on a dating app ... dated a few times got a little bit physical and then things just dropped off, most likely due to no one really making the first move ... anyway a few months later she reached out again and since then we have been really good friends to which we kind of go out on day trips together now etc ...

Recently I’ve kind of got the hots for her again but I don’t know if she feels the same way at all ... there are things she does that makes me think she’s interested in just more than friendship but then other times I just can’t read her.

She was messaging me around 2-5 times a week to do something whether it be a drive out for food or a drive out for a nice summer walk .. so we go out together do everything a couple would except the physical part,

But I’m at a point now where it’s make or break

I think maybe the ships already sailed and I’ve missed my opportunity.

Are we just mates or is there something more there and she’s just not very good at flirting.

Just don’t want to be flogging a dead horse and wasting even more time.

Cheers

- You failed to make a move
- She lost interest
- You're in the friend zone

Women are almost never going to be the ones to make a move. If they like you they will give you the opportunity and wait for you to do it, but if you don't then they generally lose interest quite quickly.

If you have gone this long without having the opportunity to get close and touch her, I bet that she is doing things to subtly kockblock you, e.g. sitting far away, bringing along kochblockers, avoiding being alone with you etc.

Don't think that the fact that she talks to you or meets up with you indicates any kind of sexual interest. If she doesn't get close and let you touch her, then there is no sexual interest.

 

[Brassneck]

“Embrace your sexuality” - Pook

Don’t be passive, Lead and see if she follows...

 

[BackInTheGame78]

There is only one way to find out. Make a move and be OK with the fact that things might get weird of she doesn't go for it and you might lose her "friendship".

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Hey,

It’s been a while since I was last here but I currently have a situation where I’m not sure if I’m reading the signals correctly.

I have a female friend of about 18 months, we met on a dating app ... dated a few times got a little bit physical and then things just dropped off, most likely due to no one really making the first move ... anyway a few months later she reached out again and since then we have been really good friends to which we kind of go out on day trips together now etc ...

Recently I’ve kind of got the hots for her again but I don’t know if she feels the same way at all ... there are things she does that makes me think she’s interested in just more than friendship but then other times I just can’t read her.

She was messaging me around 2-5 times a week to do something whether it be a drive out for food or a drive out for a nice summer walk .. so we go out together do everything a couple would except the physical part,

But I’m at a point now where it’s make or break

I think maybe the ships already sailed and I’ve missed my opportunity.

Are we just mates or is there something more there and she’s just not very good at flirting.

Just don’t want to be flogging a dead horse and wasting even more time.

Cheers

Only one way to find out. Like @Hank Moody said, make a move. Like yesterday.

Be positive but also realistic. Most likely you have been friend zoned and she sees you as such.

For the future, do not become "friends" with girls you date or have dated. There is no such thing as female-male friendships. They are always conditional. Always favors females. And furthermore, it (at various degrees depending on the situation and people involved) mess with your masculinity. So avoid it.

Modern Man Advice

 

[wifehunter]

"Got the hots for my friend"

Sorry for your loss.

 

[Brassneck]

I would also say if you have been acting passive/platonic for a reasonable length of time she is going to see you in that frame.

Making a move straight from that frame is unlikely going to work, you are going to have to change the frame first which requires some time.

 

[Tilex]

Bro.........
1½ years, almost 2 years is a LONG time to be in the friend zone.
At this point she already views you as another female.
I'm sure she's told you all about the guys she's slept with or the guys she had drama with and to come back home to have your shoulder to cry on.

In the art of seduction, there's something called buying temperature.
You strike while the iron is hot.

Your scenario is unrecoverable in my opinion.
Your only option is to make a move on her, and then face a rejection. It's practically inevitable at this point. These are the type of rejections Don Juans can predict from miles away.
This is why we all advise to stay out of the friend zone, because there's no turning back!

Although there is a slight hope for you at the end of the rainbow............
You have to freeze her out and make her think about you.
This has a 40% chance of success if you ever get placed in the friend zone.
In your case, I would have to say 30% chance because you've been placed in the friend zone far too long.
Freezing her out means you cut off all contact with her, then she'll realize what she's missed.
This will take a lot of self discipline, because you need to avoid her for at least a year.
You think you could handle that?

If I was in your shoes, I wouldn't even hold my breath on those odds.
Going from Friend Zone to Lover is a time wasting uphill battle.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Needless to say, give us an update on when you make the move. I'm curious to see how she reacts.

PS: Don't be shy to give details.

Modern Man Advice

 

[Aesthetix29]

Th Alan for the advice guys ... I know the chances are slim but I’ve got nothing to lose except the friendship in which case would probably end even if I don’t try my luck. There are lots of reasons why I think she likes me but again could be purely on a friend basis.

All I can do is ask and see how she reacts. I just think she’s very shy and has no flirt banter.

Will keep you guys posted anyway. Thanks again

 

[Aesthetix29]

She came for a drive out on Saturday, we stopped at a nice village, we got food and made our way round a few pubs etc ... she was being quite touchy feely, and she kept mentioning that we should get a hotel to which I tried but all were fully booked :-( that would of been my moment right there I think.

But a few things have changed to make me think that’s shes interested in me back.

She messages me first thing to say good morning, she always makes an effort when we do something together, we do things all the time.

Really just need to know one way or another now ...

Will be making my move this week so at least I’ll know either way.

 

[2Rocky]

mentioning "we should get a hotel"= Lets bang.

I've been there and I've scene the signs...you should have had logistics to start with and you missed a big wide window. May not get as good a green light again...