Got Stood up on Online Date

[LMFAO]

First time for everything, last night I banged a girl from OKCupid, tonight I got stood up by one.

After last night's success I have to say I fvcked up big time today. I am posting this so none of you make the same mistake and to reinforce the notion of setting dates on your own terms. Set up a date for tonight a few days back with this girl. Set it up in the usual location (not far from where I live and central enough). She said herself it's one of her preferred places to meet. On the day I sent her a message around 1pm saying "see you tonight at <X>". She replied back with "Hey there, just wondering, as I'm not back home until later and it's going to be late was wondering if you fancies meeting at <y>?". This y is the train station close to her place. Just before leaving I sent her a text that I will be 5-10 minutes late, she said "That's cool, see you then ".

I got there about 5 minutes late as I said. Sent her a text to say I arrived. I have to say it was pouring down with rain there and I didn't have an umbrella and was waiting there indoor as one of the few people in the station. She texted me back saying "OK will be 2-3 mins". Well 5 minutes later I got this text "<My name> I'm really sorry but I have to go back to my apartment , had a very bad call , I'm terribly sorry". I didn't bother replying to that ****e. What are the chances of anything happening in those 5 minutes I was waiting for her? Probably worse chances than winning the lottery.

When I got back home later I checked OKCupid I noticed she's been online since. Bet a great night in for her. :crackup:

The lesson here is to stick by your own rules. If she changes things last minute flake on her yourself. Women are absolutely ruthless when it comes to dating (it's the one thing they have power in) and we should be the same. Personally consider it a bad idea meeting a woman close to her doorstep as she has zero investment in it. They either agree to your terms of how you arranged the date or not.

 

[Obsidian]

Realistically, I don't think you did anything wrong by just moving the location. She would've flaked either way. Did you burn a bunch of gas or something by going to the train station?

 

[guru1000]

Good for you. No blood, no glory.

 

[WanderingMan]

And women wonder why they get treated like **** sometimes. I guarantee, every hb7+ who's active on the dating scene has at some time left a guy hanging like this.

Win some, lose some.

I'll throw in some possible game changers though, not sure if they would have made a difference either way.

"Hey there, just wondering, as I'm not back home until later and it's going to be late was wondering if you fancies meeting at <y>?"

This could have been a test. Possibly even a mild one coming from the subconscious: "I'd rather have him come to me, it would be easier for me that way. I wonder if he'll actually do it?" Then, as soon as you readily agree, she all of the sudden becomes not interested.

Two suggestions here:
1)just flat out don't agree to her change in venue

or

2)throw in some kind of stipulation for her putting you out: "I think that will work, but - you're buying the drinks."

Women are attracted to men who put themselves first. They want to go out of their way to please a man, in fact they are looking for a man who they can aim to please. You may feel like you're doing her a service by catering to her schedule, but that's not what she's really attracted to.

 

[VladPatton]

Fvcked up b!tches gonna be fvcked up man. They got a whole slew waitin in the wings...ghee-ron-teed. Just delete and move on.

 

[Obsidian]

But what do you do if they try to re-schedule well in advance? I had this one online chick that I was planning on hiking with on saturday. She texted me tonight, said that just she got a new job that will require her to work that day, and proposed meeting for dinner that night instead. I don't really think dinner is a good date, and I was kinda getting annoyed. Haven't responded yet, though. I instantly thought of this thread.

I'm tempted to just not respond. I get so tired of girls being difficult.

 

[9Volt]

But what do you do if they try to re-schedule well in advance? I had this one online chick that I was planning on hiking with on saturday. She texted me tonight, said that just she got a new job that will require her to work that day, and proposed meeting for dinner that night instead. I don't really think dinner is a good date, and I was kinda getting annoyed. Haven't responded yet, though. I instantly thought of this thread.

I'm tempted to just not respond. I get so tired of girls being difficult.

Just reply back: Hey what's up x? I can't make it that night. I'll call you to re-schedule. How's the job going?

You just let them know quickly its not going to work for you and gets them to wonder what you might have planned instead rejecting their offer ( if you dont want to go on their terms). I never just leave it as a no or rejection and change the subject in the first reply ie: hows the job going? It tells them you arent mad. You "care". And you brushed it off and changed the subject.

Im telling you it reduces flakes instead of a cold closed response. Then when you're ready hit them up to go out.

Never let them see you sweat or suspect youre angry as if your time is hanging on their decision.

Always reply with a question that changes the subject if they decline etc. That also shows them you arent hung up on them and have other things to do yourself.

 

[Obsidian]

Haha. Yeah I'm definitely not hung up on her. But I'm just getting so irritated lately that it makes me want to start nexting girls the moment they try to dominate me or sh*t test me.

I think maybe I'm still kinda pissed off about the last chick who dumped me a month ago. She was difficult, too.

 

[9Volt]

Haha. Yeah I'm definitely not hung up on her. But I'm just getting so irritated lately that it makes me want to start nexting girls the moment they try to dominate me or sh*t test me.

I think maybe I'm still kinda pissed off about the last chick who dumped me a month ago. She was difficult, too.

Don't worry about nonsense you can't control or you'll end up going insane.

If they try to re-schedule or you suspect a flake just reply you cant make it and in the same reply end it with a question about their day or something. If they reply keep it brief and tell them you'll talk to them later. Most will eventually follow up, have a brief catching up convo and then tell them you're going to x and they should come.

You never want to let them think you're mad or your life revolves around their decision. Plans change even with friends if you get mad or frustrated at that crap you're only wasting your time. If a chick flakes twice? Then keep a brief changed subject convo or then dont respond and keep it moving. It happens. Sometime with everyone sh1t comes up. I change my mind my friends do. Chicks do. Im completely not bothered by it and when people sense you never get angry and dont mind they come around more often and chicks will follow up or just go out regardless.

You cant worry about it.

 

[LMFAO]

Some good advice here, thanks.

Well it took me over 30 minutes to get there and she was aware of that.

She probably either changed her mind last minute because of the rain or she saw me from a distance and changed her mind. She is at most a 7, from the pictures most likely a 6 and quite short so not much lost apart from an hour wasted on this waste of space.

 

[the_stig]

It was bound to happen. I remember being shocked the first time I was stood up, but when you use online dating enough you're going to run into all kinds of weird sh*t. I have so many crazy stories I don't even know where to begin. Women are very self serving and want what's easiest for them, and care very little if they inconvenience you.

Who knows what happened. Nearly every girl I've been with hates going out in the rain because it ruins their appearance (hair, makeup, etc) and they become self conscious.

On a side note, I quit agreeing to these long drives unless the girl is something really special or there's a high probability of getting laid. Got tired of investing in long commutes (they always want you to come to them), pay for their sh!t, to likely never hear from them again. My new standing rule is max 10-15 minute drive and buying one drink max/something outdoors free. It's saved me lots of time and money which I'm grateful for.

 

[backbeat]

yeah man dont let her make the rules n flakes will flake man jus to flake so u did nothin wrong with that. secret is to have a back up broad jus in case one does flake n u should b getin plenty of hoes off those sites man. n lots of them hoes r dtf the same nite n if she flakes man she's b callin ur @ss up to f@ck maybe 3 days later on that sh@t so u take her up on it man cuz it aint no skin off ur nose.

 

[Bingo-Player]

I see no red flags in the build up to the date other than he requesting a change of location , at that point i would have outright called her i suspect she wouldn’t have answered but if she did she would have found it much more difficult to lie on the phone

I honestly don’t understand how women expect men to give them an ounce of respect when they pull stunts like this especially from an online dating platform ......and don’t no one give me that cr@p “they aren’t all the same”

This chick clearly had no intention of ever turning up to meet OP but what’s worse is the fact she actually allowed him to travel out of his way to a location which SHE suggested

Its stories like this one which allow me to have such a clear view of women and they’re silly little perceptions

@ LMFAO. The following advice is just my personal opinion. Not everybody will agree with this advice, and that's okay:

The best thing you could have done was not texted her when you arrived. Then, after waiting about 15-20 minutes, you could have left. The next day, you could have texted her and apologized for missing the date.

Yes that's correct. I said text her to apologize for missing the date.

"I'm so sorry that I forgot about our date. Things got so crazy at work and I just forgot. I hope you'll let me make it up to you."

In my opinion, apologizing for missing the date when they flake on you is the best way to maintain control of the frame as well as deny her any sense of validation that she got from flaking on you.

.

can see where espi is coming from and i like the idea............... IF there was any chance of lmfao ever seeing this girl again , problem is he probably isn’t so continuing the game with her is futile

Take the experience OP and add it too your collection it may serve you usefull in the future

 

[GS750]

typical girl in 2015. very typical of a chick you meet online. I've come to the conclusion that a very large percentage of the girls you deal with online are nothing but time wasters. If you'd met this girl through your social circle she'd have been way less likely to pull this crap because it would make her look like a b*tch.

 

[WanderingMan]

Solid advice

This:

Just reply back: Hey what's up x? I can't make it that night. I'll call you to re-schedule. How's the job going?

You just let them know quickly its not going to work for you and gets them to wonder what you might have planned instead rejecting their offer ( if you dont want to go on their terms). I never just leave it as a no or rejection and change the subject in the first reply ie: hows the job going? It tells them you arent mad. You "care". And you brushed it off and changed the subject.

Im telling you it reduces flakes instead of a cold closed response. Then when you're ready hit them up to go out.

Never let them see you sweat or suspect youre angry as if your time is hanging on their decision.

Always reply with a question that changes the subject if they decline etc. That also shows them you arent hung up on them and have other things to do yourself.

 

[SgtSplacker]

If I ask a girl out and it is raining that night, i'll be the one to cancel. My diicks not the fuucking postal service "through rain or sleet or snow" lol. I'll call her up, cancel, and offer to rent a movie and feed her if she comes over.

 

[LMFAO]

If I ask a girl out and it is raining that night, i'll be the one to cancel. My diicks not the fuucking postal service "through rain or sleet or snow" lol. I'll call her up, cancel, and offer to rent a movie and feed her if she comes over.

It wasn't raining when I left the house. It then started raining soon after. I didn't even have an umbrella on me. It was an all round unfortunate night.

I didn't want to waste my time and I did ask her four hours before if she lives close to the area just to work out logistics and chances of a possible lay (usually asking things like where she lives and if she lives with friends) she didn't answer that directly but still appeared warm saying see you soon. At that point I should have just dropped it and flaked on her myself.

Women in online platforms more so than anywhere else truly consider men as completely and utterly disposable, so much so you're not even considered human even after meeting them face to face. If you think you are gaming taking on 2 girls on the same day you can imagine these girls lining up dates for fun and flaking for any reason in the world.

You live by the sword and die by the sword, online platforms have made it that much easier for us to get dates and bangs but it has made women's flakiness reach levels probably not seen before in human history. A man would very unlikely treat a 7 and above woman like sh1t (upon meeting her or not meeting her), but even a 6 woman would be more than likely do so to a 7 or 8 man - and regularly so. Considering I'm a banker and fairly successful with women to get stood up by a 6 is really something I should just laugh at.

I really should give day game a go, because if I can bang 6s and 7s on online dating then I should be able to get much hotter women in social circles and day game.

 

[SgtSplacker]

It wasn't raining when I left the house. It then started raining soon after. I didn't even have an umbrella on me. It was an all round unfortunate night.

I didn't want to waste my time and I did ask her four hours before if she lives close to the area just to work out logistics and chances of a possible lay (usually asking things like where she lives and if she lives with friends) she didn't answer that directly but still appeared warm saying see you soon. At that point I should have just dropped it and flaked on her myself.

Women in online platforms more so than anywhere else truly consider men as completely and utterly disposable, so much so you're not even considered human even after meeting them face to face. If you think you are gaming taking on 2 girls on the same day you can imagine these girls lining up dates for fun and flaking for any reason in the world.

You live by the sword and die by the sword, online platforms have made it that much easier for us to get dates and bangs but it has made women's flakiness reach levels probably not seen before in human history. A man would very unlikely treat a 7 and above woman like sh1t (upon meeting her or not meeting her), but even a 6 woman would be more than likely do so to a 7 or 8 man - and regularly so. Considering I'm a banker and fairly successful with women to get stood up by a 6 is really something I should just laugh at.

I really should give day game a go, because if I can bang 6s and 7s on online dating then I should be able to get much hotter women in social circles and day game.

I think it all works out in the end. Those same girls holding out for the 9-10 man are just getting dogged by those same dudes, you can see it in their profiles with their jaded complaints about the "other/last guy". Girls like that I make sure not to spend any money on.

 

[backbeat]

sum of these chicks r looking for free sh@t from dudes online that wanna give it to em. n those dudes will do that sh@t just to get sum p@ssy n they dont care cuz they gots the bread. sum chick i was suppose to go out with flaked n went out wit sum other dude to this fancy @ss restaurant n gots her box seats to the fu@kin Dodgers game. that b@tch called me up 3 days later wantin to go out n i said no cuz u didnt go out when u was suppose to. she then givin me all this sweet talk sayin how sorry she was but couldnt pass up not goin to see a game n she didnt no me well enough to put me over that other dude. she said she would make it up to me so i tell her to get her @ss over to my crib n she did with in 20 minutes after that fu@kin phone call n she was suckin on my c@ck n fu@kin me for most of the night. yea man i dont give a sh@t bout no flakes online cuz those b@tches will come back after ur @ss if they want the c@ck from u. jus play it cool n u can still recoop n get laid like a boss.

 

[Cloudtopsun2100]

I think a lot of people make online their go to. Its lazy, you get laid but the quality is low. Probably better to screen hard and only meet the few, rare actual hotties you can find from it while doing daygame and social circle stuff.