Got oneitis over a slut - hellbent on revenge now

[Dame94]

Here's the story:
She was my classmate for 2 yrs. Very cute girl but was never my type physically. Appeared to be the innocent type but could never really pin her down. Knew she found me attractive based on body language but I never gave her any attention those 2 years. Half a year later she approaches me in a club. Asks me to come to this monthly party she really likes and made me promise I'd come. Texts me a day later. My interest level at that point was basically still "Yeah I'd **** her but I don't need to."

Fast forward one month. I haven't contacted her. I think to myself "hmm I actually want to **** this girl now..let me contact her.." I contact her and we agree to go out. I flake on her twice because of low interest level. 2 months later I contact her again. We go out and have a nice time. We agree on a second date. Second date: We have a good time & stay up all night till the morning - no intimacy yet. Interest level at this point is still pretty low. I keep chatting up other girls.

Here's where things go crazy (this happened 3 months ago):
She goes on vacation with a friend. We constantly text. My interest level starts to rise. AFC-me thinks "Damn, she might actually be the one.." She's in a location very known for parties. The moment she arrives at the hotel, there's already 5 guys surrounding her and her friend. Tells me they're annoying. A day later she says they're funny. She constantly provokes and **** tests me. I take it easy at first. She keeps going. Keeps sending me pics and vids of her sitting around with these guys in the lobby. I think: "She goes to these guys on purpose to seek attention and to emotionally drain me."
At this point I actually developed some feelings for her. Eventually I snap due to the **** tests and tell her to calm the **** down. Almost break it up over text. She tells me to chill and that she's a serious girl. Tells me she was testing the boundaries. I tell her to call me to determine if we should continue this.

Here's where the tables turn completely:
She calls. I tell her whatever happens after this call, we'll at least remain friends.
We talk for 6 hours (fatal error #1). Turns out she didn't actively seek out the company of those 5 guys but that they always surrounded themselves around her. I say ok and change my mind. Tell her I want to continue with her. Also tell her I had feelings for her (fatal errror #2). After the call she sends me the dump-text. Tells me I wouldn't act like myself in the relationship just to suck up to her (she thinks I lost frame - respect & attraction completely gone at this point). Tells me she needs security because "I would have dumped her at one point". Tells me I'm too possessive and jealous.
-The beta in me comes out in full swing:
I proceed to plead for 4 days after that like the most pathetic AFC. Send her walls and walls of text on whatsapp. At least 3 texts where it says "read more" on whatsapp - because the texts were that lengthy. Several other lengthy texts. 4 days of pathetic beta-pleading and I finally call it quits. Tell her we're going our separate ways. Send her 10 minute voice memo - basically told her a few more things about the whole situation, that I was sorry how I handled it, reminded her of the good times, tell her thank you, that I still appreciate her as a person & all the best for the future. A few more back and forth texts and we end it on good terms.
Fast forward to today: it's been 3 months of NC

Yesterday:
Meet up with an old friend of mine to catch up. Tell him about this story. He has 2 friends - both ex-boyfriends of the girl that dumped me. Here's what he told me. Apparently she's a slut. She was disloyal to both her exes. And that's just the two ex-boyfriends I know of. He told me she met up with her ex behind her boyfriend's back (something I actually told her would be an absolute no-go). Basically, she did all the things my gut warned me of when I first wanted to break it up with this seemingly innocent b!tch. However, due to turning into an AFC - I believed her nonsense and proceeded to beg for a second chance for 4 days. I feel like an even bigger chump now. Up until yesterday I thought she was wife-material (I even told her that..). I feel betrayed, lied to, made a fool of.. Because of this, I'm sensing a feeling of revenge. To get to the point:
I want to ravage, desecrate, degrade and reduce her to her very essence - that of a filthy little wh0re. The filthy little wh0re this cute innocent-looking girl hides from everyone daily.
After having absolutely ruined her, I want to immediately drop her like a steaming sack of dog****. The satisfaction I'd get from that would me nothing short of immense. I won't hold my breath, though. But it's something I'd really, really like to happen.

2 questions:
1) How should I best act when & if she contacts me?
2) Do you think she'd still contact me based on the level of neediness and beta behavior I displayed after she dumped me?

Also: During those 3 months, I went from a muscular 194 lbs to a shredded 175 lbs. She'll see a profile pic of the new me 2 weeks from now.

Greatly appreciate the responses.

 

[Mr Wright]

You're mad because she got the better of you and that's just an ego thing. You want to get to the point where you can accept that without any need for revenge and just move on with your life.

I suggest you move on because as I always say to guys on this site, you're banging away at your keyboard calling her all the names under the sun and she's probably sitting in her room playing with her hair and make up...not thinking about you.

 

[HoneyHitter]

From what I read you have never even fvcked her and you had no interest in her. But now you envy the other guys because you found out you missed out on easy porn-level sex without the burden of a LTR.

I know how it feels, but you have no justified reason to be mad at her or even the guys who fvck her.

You need to know what the hell YOU want in the first place!
If you were just looking for sex, why didn't you fvck when you had the chance? Passing up on her was just plain stupid. Kick yourself and learn from it.
Now, if you were looking for a LTR you should actually be glad, because you saved yourself from committing to a slut!

However, the fact that you're angry tells us what you really want.

 

[HoneyHitter]

And to answer your questions:

1) Like nothing happened.
2) No.

By the way, she didn't "dump" you because you were never in a relationship with her to begin with. You never even fvcked her!!!

Being an orbiter is not the same as being a boyfriend.

 

[Dame94]

You've got a lot of growing up to do.

Revenge is for sad-acts. Invest nothing more in the set.

Check your own white-knight behavior.

Chat up some different girls instead, doing the opposite of everything you did with that one.

Enjoy life.

I guess you're right. I only learned about her true nature yesterday, so I'm mad that she wasted my time, while putting up a false facade.
At least I learned so much in the last 3 months. She was the first girl in 5 years I caught feelings for - but she had to be a hoe.

I suggest you move on because as I always say to guys on this site, you're banging away at your keyboard calling her all the names under the sun and she's probably sitting in her room playing with her hair and make up...not thinking about you.

That hit home. I'll try my very best not to think about her anymore but if she happens to contact me down the road, she'll still get hers.

From what I read you have never even fvcked her and you had no interest in her. But now you envy the other guys because you found out you missed out on easy porn-level sex without the burden of a LTR.

I know how it feels, but you have no justified reason to be mad at her or even the guys who fvck her.

You need to know what the hell YOU want in the first place!
If you were just looking for sex, why didn't you fvck when you had the chance? Passing up on her was just plain stupid. Kick yourself and learn from it.
Now, if you were looking for a LTR you should actually be glad, because you saved yourself from committing to a slut!

However, the fact that you're angry tells us what you really want.

At first, I wanted to fvck her. Then I caught feelings, turned into a beta & wanted a LTR. Now I learned she is a slut and I want to **** her again. You're right, I should've escalated on the 2nd date. Oh well, next time.
Why do you think she'll never contact me again? I know I fvcked up badly with the neediness but was it enough to repel her forever?

 

[marmel75]

You had the chance to bang her and you didn't. Its on you. Grow up and move on.

 

[DreamAgain]

Dude, I understand your frustration completely.

The best revenge, if you feel like you must get some, is to continue no contact and ignore her if she ever reaches out again.

If she does, just let her see the new and improved you, with a hotter girl on your arm, and let her hamster spin forever.

 

[sosousage]

You mean a girl projected an image of chastity to you, whilst enjoying some c0ck on the side?

I'm completely shocked and appalled!

Come on. Grow up, chap.



Madonna/wh0re complex much?

Ultimately, you do get better or get bitter (or else, sweep it under the carpet to be presented with the same thing at a later time). Your choice/life.

this is extremaly annoying how do they keep orbiters as a steady flow of backup and validation. i immediately block/remove chick if she refuses for meeting now, or if she says something like "maybe".

sometimes chicks complain to me how many fans they have, but they never tell them that they are NOT interested.

one thing I dont understand is why this many chicks would keep orbiters and speak with them everyday with no intention of meeting or fuc*ing. Its extremaly big TIME WASTE for them TOO.


+ this is mainly younger chicks thing. older ones are less likely to do it. did they learn time is precious? or they werent influenced by social media

 

[sazc]

ALWAYS have low expectations, that way you won't be surprised

 

[Dame94]

You mean a girl projected an image of chastity to you, whilst enjoying some c0ck on the side?

I'm completely shocked and appalled!

Come on. Grow up, chap.



Madonna/wh0re complex much?

Ultimately, you do get better or get bitter (or else, sweep it under the carpet to be presented with the same thing at a later time). Your choice/life.

Yeah I seem to have this complex to a certain degree. I will never see her as marriage material ever again. If you meet with ex boyfriends during a relationship and/or cheat, you’re simply disqualified forever. She‘s not worth it at all. Hopefully I still fvck her one day, though.

ALWAYS have low expectations, that way you won't be surprised

Seems mundane but I took a screenshot of that statement and saved it in my „wisdom“-folder.

 

[Paul Smith]

I guess you're right. I only learned about her true nature yesterday, so I'm mad that she wasted my time, while putting up a false facade.
At least I learned so much in the last 3 months. She was the first girl in 5 years I caught feelings for - but she had to be a hoe.


That hit home. I'll try my very best not to think about her anymore but if she happens to contact me down the road, she'll still get hers.


At first, I wanted to fvck her. Then I caught feelings, turned into a beta & wanted a LTR. Now I learned she is a slut and I want to **** her again. You're right, I should've escalated on the 2nd date. Oh well, next time.
Why do you think she'll never contact me again? I know I fvcked up badly with the neediness but was it enough to repel her forever?

Wh0res are skilled at playing on men's emotions so it was easy for her to play you and break you down. They have been with many men so they have experience and they are good liars and manipulators.

 

[Paul Smith]

You mean a girl projected an image of chastity to you, whilst enjoying some c0ck on the side?

I'm completely shocked and appalled!

Come on. Grow up, chap.



Madonna/wh0re complex much?

Ultimately, you do get better or get bitter (or else, sweep it under the carpet to be presented with the same thing at a later time). Your choice/life.

How can one cure the madonna/wh0re complex? I think I have it.

 

[Paul Smith]

Spin plates.

Game at least one full year hard whilst dodging exclusivity (no matter how good a girlfriend act any of them put on).

makes sense, I just broke up with a slut who had projected chastity. I fell in love with her and was about to marry her, but there were things that didn't add up about her. I figured out she was a call-girl.

I don't get aroused for my other plate who is fairly a good girl.

 

[Dame94]

Wh0res are skilled at playing on men's emotions so it was easy for her to play you and break you down. They have been with many men so they have experience and they are good liars and manipulators.

See, when she was **** testing me she was trying to find out if she could get away with what she couldn‘t in her previous relationship. She lied to me that she was always the dumper but than one ex dumped her after she met up with another ex behind his back. Filthy slut. Now that I think about it, I am sure she will go through a divorce if she ever decides to get married.

 

[zekko]

I want to ravage, desecrate, degrade and reduce her to her very essence - that of a filthy little wh0re. The filthy little wh0re this cute innocent-looking girl hides from everyone daily.
After having absolutely ruined her, I want to immediately drop her like a steaming sack of dog****. The satisfaction I'd get from that would me nothing short of immense

She is what she is. No reason for you to seek revenge on her. Everything that happened was your fault. The fault lies with you, no reason to blame her for it. This sounds like a good learning experience for you, and hopefully you will learn from it. Sounds like you put the cart before the horse in this situation. For instance, you decided what kind of girl you thought she was before you really found out. The person you developed feelings for didn't really exist.

 

[Dame94]

She is what she is. No reason for you to seek revenge on her. Everything that happened was your fault. The fault lies with you, no reason to blame her for it. This sounds like a good learning experience for you, and hopefully you will learn from it. Sounds like you put the cart before the horse in this situation. For instance, you decided what kind of girl you thought she was before you really found out. The person you developed feelings for didn't really exist.

It was indeed a huge learning experience. I learned so many things about women, attraction, NC, relationships, etc just from this situation alone. She truly wasn‘t the person I thought she was. I knew her for 2 years before all this happened and she always seemed to be a good girl. When we started dating, she projected this image even more and like the idiot I was/am, I bought it. So, the feeling of revenge stems from her deceiving me. I can respect a wh0re but only if she owns it. If she projects a completely false image of herself, I think she deserves to be treated like what she truly is. But I guess that‘s just how some women are and I need to learn to accept this cold truth.

 

[Dame94]

Hating on "sluts" is a part of hating on women in general. And often on being uncomfortable with your own sexuality.

Women pick up on that projection, and they reflect back at you the madonna image.

In other words, you are part of the problem.

Women have their own mating strategy, same as we do. If you were smart, you'd accept it and use it to the extent that it works for you.

Man, I wish I had someone who told me all these things when I was younger. The fact that my mom cheated on my dad, which led to me and my siblings suffering for years during our childhoods, is a huge part why I resent sluts. Still, I’ll have to work on that.

 

[teebear]

AWALT

 

[soulforge]

Hold on.. This is a chick you have not even had sex with?

The fact that you are this LEVEL of angry and hell bent on revenge over a chick that you did not even bang, suggests that you have some issues of your own, and have a fuk load of learning to do..

Hell I don't even get this angry about a chick, after years of a relationship going to chit..

Seriously man, do not let yourself get this emotionally involved with woman..

You acted beta.. 100% once it's gone, fuk it, let it go.. Learn from the experience, try to better yourself for the next woman, or she will drop you like a sack of chit too, if you don't kill the inner beta.

Let this go.. and don't let chicks get to you this much again!

 

[Dame94]

Hold on.. This is a chick you have not even had sex with?

The fact that you are this LEVEL of angry and hell bent on revenge over a chick that you did not even bang, suggests that you have some issues of your own, and have a fuk load of learning to do..

Hell I don't even get this angry about a chick, after years of a relationship going to chit..

Seriously man, do not let yourself get this emotionally involved with woman..

You acted beta.. 100% once it's gone, fuk it, let it go.. Learn from the experience, try to better yourself for the next woman, or she will drop you like a sack of chit too, if you don't kill the inner beta.

Let this go.. and don't let chicks get to you this much again!

Yeah I didn‘t even have sex with her. You‘re right, this shouldn‘t even faze me emotionally at this point but I gotta say, I care way less about it now than when I learned she was a slut a few days ago. I obviously still got some learning to do and if she comes around, so be it. If not, that‘s fine too. Who knows. Anyways, thanks for the advice.