Got Number, Don't Know What To Do

[Rocky Balboa]

Hey guys,

I was reading the DJ Bible and loved EVERYTHING about it. I am not the kind of guy who just reads and reads, I apply what I learn into my life, so last week, for the first time ever, started doing cold approaches on my Uni campus and asking for numbers.

Well within a few days (on Friday) I managed to get this really hot HB9's contact, I did it in like 30 seconds lol, so I'm pretty sure you can get numbers without building rapport first.

Anyways, problem is that this will be my first date. I know you're supposed to wait a while, so I'll call her tomorrow or Thursday and set something up for the weekend.

Here's the problem: I am broke. I don't have a part time job, and my parents are paying for my Uni. I literally have like 25 dollars in my bank account. No car either, but it would be useless anyways, I haven't gotten my license yet. I know you are supposed to do action dates, but I can't bowl, or skate, or play golf or anything like that.

What should I do? I was thinking that a coffee at the mall starbucks and then walking around the book store it is attached to would be a good idea. It isn't just sitting around in one place and talking, a new section of bookstore= new material= new conversation topics, plus I've been there like a million times and have an opinion on practically everything.

Would that be okay? Also, I don't have a cell phone, so I'd have to call from my home phone. Is there something wrong with that? I am 19 years old lol, yeah I know it is pretty sad, but any advice will be greatly appreciated!!

 

[zinc4]

first off...you got a number big deal, i wouldn't count that as a sure fire date..it usually takes me 10 or so numbers before anyhting actually materalizes into a date unless i hook up with them at night time and get the number...go out and get some more numbers and keep doing it....call them all and set up dates

as for this one....odds are she will most likely flake you or not take you seriously unless you are very good looking or managed to build some sort of small connection (doubtful on the last part based on what you said) admittedly, when i was younger and more muscular and better looking, i got less flakes on day time approaches...but i have no idea what you look like and how good your opening skills are...but either way, call her and try to set the date up...

however, if she is really into you and you get the date, don't worry about money take her for a some coffe and then a movie and sit toward the back in the movie theatre and then after the previews are finished put one hand on her thigh and see how she responds...if good turn her face to you and makeout or get her back to your place and do this same procedure...don't put your arm around her first that is what inexperienced guys do and it reeks of being cheesy....but first get the coffee and chat some for a good 20-30 mins or more to build rapport...but not too long where the convo goes dry and gets boring..30-40 mins is good... and have a good light and fun convo then hit up the movie theatre or ask her back to your place for a movie....but in your cae, since you are inexperience i would try the movie theatre first since it is less threatening to women......don't take her to a book store...waste of time...

and remember in the mean time go get other numbers...and call this chick now sometimes early evening like 8-9:30 or so and try to set the date up...go for a coffee at the mall near a movie theatre...tell her coffee and a movie...and find some good movies playing...

 

[Rocky Balboa]

Thanks for the reply!

Yeah definitely, I am still going out and trying to get more numbers. If she flakes, it doesn't matter, I will "next" her, not going to waste too much time on a chick that isn't interested.

About the date idea, I don't have the money to pay for two people's movie tickets. When I said I was broke, I meant it. And my parents probably aren't going to be lending me money for a date either. That's why I thought that coffee and walking around bookstore was good idea, since I can actually afford it lol.

Also, no way I'm going to be able to bring her back to my place even if I did somehow get enough money for movies. At least one parent is home all the time, and I have 2 brothers and a sister who are all off from High School for summer vacation. I am NEVER home alone. FML lol.

So yeah, anything else maybe?

 

[Dom1noe]

Anything else? Umm... Get a part-time job! Seriously. You don't want to be broke. It's too limiting and girls will despise you as soon as they find out. You need money enough to afford your funtime. You need to be able to pay for girls as well. You don't want to actually do it, but you need to be able to.

 

[Uncharted]

You will need some sort of job to pay for dates. If you don't have one I think it would be pretty tough keeping a HB9 from straying if you're just hanging out in a dorm every day.

 

[LorenzoVonM]

I honestly think she will flake because its not a super strong close. But, if I'm wrong:

I actually like your coffee/bookstore idea. Why? Because you can easily see where her passions lie by going to all the different sections. Pay attention to when she starts talking and getting excited about topics. That means her fire is getting emotionally stoked. You now have the information to know how to fan her flames. And the more you do it the more she will associate feeling good with you. You may have a lot of opinions on things but I would tread very very lightly. If you want to get laid, this date is about her, not you.

And as hard as it is, try to stay out of your head and practice being present. Once your inner monologue starts, things tend to become awkward. Use the force young jedi.

 

[Rocky Balboa]

Alright guys, thanks! Started applying for part-time jobs today, yeah I'm definitely gonna need money in the pocket to be able to do this stuff properly lol.

Okay so last thing, I'm calling her today but don't know what to say on the phone. Like obviously I know to keep it short and simple, no long conversations. But:

1) Is it okay to leave a message?

2) If she picks up, should I just tell her where we're going to go to grab the coffee? Like "the Starbucks in the mall by the movie theater on so and so street"? Do I make any mention of walking around the bookstore (since that's all I can afford atm), or just where we're gonna meet up?

Thank you, I'll let you know how it goes!

 

[Rocky Balboa]

Bump! Come on guys, help a 19 year old newbie

 

[TheCWord]

Rock, first of all, don't listen to these guys. They don't know if she's going to flake or not. They're just cynical. I'm not saying you should be a doe-eyed optimist expecting to marry this girl, but there's no need to go into any situation in life expecting failure.

She might flake, she might not - but you won't care, because you've read the DJ bible and you write your posts well - I'm inferring you're intelligent - so you'll just roll with it either way and keep getting numbers and keep spinning plates. And good on ya for it.

Now, I am going to anticipate an issue you might have... You're 19, and girls your age don't do phone calls. They text. You don't have a cell phone. So, what are you going to do in the future? You're going to ask for the email address or facebook. I think asking for facebook is more contemporary and even if you're messaging them on a computer they can check their messages and reply on their phones. Just remember to keep it short and to the point - you want to set a date, not gab it up.

For someone who aspires to become more active in dating like you do, you'll probably run into a lot of problems by not having a cell to text with - what if she texts you to say traffic's terrible and she'll be 20 minutes late but you think she stood you up so you leave?

Action dates are good and everything but keep in mind the DJ bible is getting older and modern day dating dynamics are constantly evolving - part of that evolution is that girls have excellent radars for guys who are trying too hard. That's why you see so many posts on here about avoiding desperation, because it's burned so many. You might suggest a creative date thinking it will make you stand out from all the other guys, but what she'll see is you trying to impress her. She knows what you're doing. Then, right off the bat, she's in control.

Coffee and then later on suggesting you walk around - say you want to pick up a magazine from the book store or whatever - is good, but I can tell you that today's woman, especially college-aged or in their twenties, won't find it charming if you met them for 5 minutes, got their number, then call them up to say let's go rock climbing. They'd probably be weirded out and think they were going on an episode of Blind Date or something (which might be a little before your time, haha).

Good luck, dude.

 

[suavesuave]

I will just call or text her and ask her out. Max 3 times. If nothing happens. Delete or put her on the waiting list.