Got lazy

[LucianoM]

Ive been regularly smashing this 21yr old smoke show for over a year and fell into complacency. I couldnt bring myself to chase other girls, go out alone etc. It's much more preferable to just call her over and spend the weekend with her. And the wkends I didnt see her I just stayed home and chilled solo. Now I've always said if you have 1 girl, you have zero girls because they are so fickle you can lose her anytime and be left empty handed. I broke my rule of "always be looking". It's just so fcking tiring to be chasing constantly and I got comfortable. I still talk to her but I get the feeling its gonna fizzle out soon. We've been seeing wachother less and less but damn im having trouble finding the motivation to find new leads, im damn near 40! Feeling kinda lost right now.

 

[Solomon]

Ive been regularly smashing this 21yr old smoke show for over a year and fell into complacency. I couldnt bring myself to chase other girls, go out alone etc. It's much more preferable to just call her over and spend the weekend with her. And the weekends I didnt see her I just stayed home and chilled solo. Now I've always said if you have 1 girl, you have zero girls because they are so fickle you can lose her anytime and be left empty handed. I broke my rule of "always be looking". It's just so fcking tiring to be chasing constantly and I got comfortable. I still talk to her but I get the feeling its gonna fizzle out soon. We've been seeing each other less and less but damn im having trouble finding the motivation to find new leads, im damn near 40! Feeling kinda lost right now.

Bro it happens to the best of us, When you're 40 who has the energy or time to chase chicks all day every day or even every weekend?
Some folks work 12-16 hour days it's just not realistic especially if you have kids, family(mom&Dad), business, work or other commitments

Personally I don't see anything wrong with just being with one plate. I've been in your shoes where i just dealt with one chick and we weren't offical and gave the game a rest, usualyl when it ends I resume but honestly the juice isn't worth the squeeze most of the time cause the dating marekt is very fickle

 

[The Duke]

I think it's good for a man to go without a female for a while. Let's you realign and put your focus in other areas for a while.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

I think 40 is gonna be seen as a really big milestone for our generation and the ones after us more so than it will be for our parents as many people realize they are likely looking at how a good portion of your life plays out at that point and I mean you want stability at that age so it's not an unfair statement... So I mean 40 is just that hardwall of coming to terms with your life if you haven't already.

Truth be told, turning 40 really isn't any of this, it really is just a number but like many numbers, in context of our society it comes with its own stereotypes and judgements, but then you have that small slice of the population that just does what they want and why wouldn't they?

You played yourself, not only is she gonna leave you, but the reason why is the same, you exited the abundance mindset and got put into scarcity... Your not talking to other women for you, your doing it for her, I know that sounds like some bull**** but it's not. Scarcity is unattractive, just go and find your groove, I like to go for a run and just zip past with eye contact, no need to rush getting back into it cause this is the last time you'll ever be getting back into it, just stay. Put the fear of God back into this woman

 

[LucianoM]

You played yourself, not only is she gonna leave you, but the reason why is the same, you exited the abundance mindset and got put into scarcity... Your not talking to other women for you, your doing it for her, I know that sounds like some bull**** but it's not. Scarcity is unattractive, just go and find your groove, I like to go for a run and just zip past with eye contact, no need to rush getting back into it cause this is the last time you'll ever be getting back into it, just stay. Put the fear of God back into this woman

Idk man if I was 30 or 35 I know I woulda been pursuing other girls, I just don't have the motivation like i used to. My girl used to tease me that I never have any plans because I was always available and I legit tell her it's cuz I'm fvcking old! During covid I used to have connections for underground parties, always had girls to hit up but now I aint got chit. And it happened from one year to the next. Back in the day not having girls would light a fire under me and Id go out constantly trying to fill the ranks, but now I'm just like ahh I'll smoke some weed, order pizza and watch dinosaur documentaries.

 

[Bingo-Player]

What a lot of men seem to fail to realise is that you can't just snap your fingers and magic up a social life

If you want to be serious about having stable social circles it arguably takes as much maintenance as a job / a wife or kids

I've had to pretty much allocate a huge portion of this year too socialising because I could see the writing on the wall
without diverse social groups you start getting rusty in all aspects fast

social circles do what they say on the tin they FORCE you to be social , you get invited to events , parties , dinners , movie nights , business meet-ups

all of these things are massively important for a man

it doesn't matter if your single in a relationship or married you need to spend time with other people to keep your social skills oiled

I have seen MANY MANY men pass 30 and become social recluses or at best just keep doing and seeing the same handful of people week in week out

Social circles are usually easily built in your 20's by 30 It starts getting tougher in your 40's you have got one hell of a job on your hands becuase even finding people you can connect with is a ball ache

Absolutely imperative you build and constantly maintain them

 

[BaronOfHair]

Ive been regularly smashing this 21yr old smoke show for over a year and fell into complacency. I couldnt bring myself to chase other girls, go out alone etc. It's much more preferable to just call her over and spend the weekend with her. And the wkends I didnt see her I just stayed home and chilled solo. Now I've always said if you have 1 girl, you have zero girls because they are so fickle you can lose her anytime and be left empty handed. I broke my rule of "always be looking". It's just so fcking tiring to be chasing constantly and I got comfortable. I still talk to her but I get the feeling its gonna fizzle out soon. We've been seeing wachother less and less but damn im having trouble finding the motivation to find new leads, im damn near 40! Feeling kinda lost right now.

Back in the day not having girls would light a fire under me and Id go out constantly trying to fill the ranks, but now I'm just like ahh I'll smoke some weed, order pizza and watch dinosaur documentaries.

Not to be snide, but merely blunt: It'll be wise to devote a substantial portion of your energies towards becoming more psychologically mature. Infrequent use of punctuation, relying heavily on women(Or anyone else) to "light a fire under you", chasing girls, smoking weed while watching dinosaur documentaries... These are the actions not of a well-put-together-man, but of a child. Had you not said your age, I'm fairly certain that everyone here would've inferred that you were in your late teens-early 20s

One of the many fall-outs of The Great Regression we've been in the midst of, over the past decade or so: Reality, for those of us who've attempted to prolong our adolescence indefinitely, is smacking us all upside our heads harder than Ike on Tina

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

I'll smoke some weed, order pizza and watch dinosaur documentaries.

This is a great start, it it's genuinely what you wanna do just do it with somebody

 

[Bingo-Player]

Not to be snide, but merely blunt: It'll be wise to devote a substantial portion of your energies towards becoming more psychologically mature. Infrequent use of punctuation, relying heavily on women(Or anyone else) to "light a fire under you", chasing girls, smoking weed while watching dinosaur documentaries... These are the actions not of a well-put-together-man, but of a child. Had you not said your age, I'm fairly certain that everyone here would've inferred that you were in your late teens-early 20s

One of the many fall-outs of The Great Regression we've been in the midst of, over the past decade or so: Reality, for those of us who've attempted to prolong our adolescence indefinitely, is smacking us all upside our heads harder than Ike on Tina

I agree and can see it happening in my own life

I'm 32 yet my life is as if I am early 20's but with a lot more money as I am pretty good at making it

Suppose it is time to crank the discipline up but easier said than done In a world of instant gratification and distraction

 

[corrector]

it's cuz I'm fvcking old!

This.

 

[Dr.Suave]

"Is anyone going to call this guy out for being a loser?" Your words bro, a while ago in a different thread.

I was never much of a plate spinner, but I would imagine it can get old after a while. Some guys can be happy spinning plates for life, but maybe that´s not for you. Maybe spinning plates is only something to do until you meet a woman worthy of having kids with (Im asuming you dont have kids yet).

I dont think @Murk was planning on becoming a father soon (not that Im ware of). But look at him, he´s never been happier.

You have done what most of us in this website cant do: You pulled a hot 18 year old girl when you were 39. You probably "been there, done that" when it comes to spinning plates. Maybe your mind is trying to tell you there should be something more meaningful in your life by now.

 

[Murk]

Bro I’m 35 I felt the burnout 5 years ago. It’s the price of being a player. It’s gets old bro. There’s more to life. This idea that we need to forever spin plates is a mantra borne from lack of abundance. Slow learners that finally found game. We need to settle down and have kids bro. If the women you pick is not right fair enough, try again. Speaking from my own experience the game is the game it never changes, for me it’s played out. Pvssy is pvssy. I rather move forward in life with that portion (women) squared off, boxed off.

If you struggled with women (I don’t think you have), you make them a priority, if you can/have slayed, theirs bigger fish to fry my guy. I have been guilty of chasing the shiny things. Not worth it.

 

[BaronOfHair]

I agree and can see it happening in my own life

I'm 32 yet my life is as if I am early 20's but with a lot more money as I am pretty good at making it

You're hardly alone. David DeAngelo was writing about this back in The 2000s

https://humanhelpwelfarefoundation.org/david-deangelo-on-being-a-man-WUNbV1ZRVl9JTlRc

By which time, not even he was saying anything especially original... Gillete and Moore had made such observations back in The 80s

The past decade was just one of those eras in which regressing became a fad, and now that the fad is evaporating, many of us are experiencing a rude awakening*



*This isn't even the first time in living memory such a thing has occurred. The 1970s was similarly a era during which remaining in a state of permanent adolescence was mistaken for an advanced way of being

32:57-33:15

 

[Glassguy]

Bro I’m 35 I felt the burnout 5 years ago. It’s the price of being a player. It’s gets old bro. There’s more to life. This idea that we need to forever spin plates is a mantra borne from lack of abundance. Slow learners that finally found game. We need to settle down and have kids bro. If the women you pick is not right fair enough, try again. Speaking from my own experience the game is the game it never changes, for me it’s played out. Pvssy is pvssy. I rather move forward in life with that portion (women) squared off, boxed off.

If you struggled with women (I don’t think you have), you make them a priority, if you can/have slayed, theirs bigger fish to fry my guy. I have been guilty of chasing the shiny things. Not worth it.

Excellent post

 

[Plinco]

Idk man if I was 30 or 35 I know I woulda been pursuing other girls, I just don't have the motivation like i used to. My girl used to tease me that I never have any plans because I was always available and I legit tell her it's cuz I'm fvcking old! During covid I used to have connections for underground parties, always had girls to hit up but now I aint got chit. And it happened from one year to the next. Back in the day not having girls would light a fire under me and Id go out constantly trying to fill the ranks, but now I'm just like ahh I'll smoke some weed, order pizza and watch dinosaur documentaries.

Could be a testosterone issue. Just throwing that out there.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Now I've always said if you have 1 girl, you have zero girls because they are so fickle you can lose her anytime and be left empty handed.

When you lose this insecure fear of being left empty handed and embrace the alone periods, dating becomes way easier.

 

[BPH]

im damn near 40!

Wait what? Who the hell is that in your profile pic?