Got in a fight with the girlfriend

[absolutealex]

Basically she was wrong, I was right.. but she thinks she's right.. it was kind of bad. I discredited her and her best friend, what do you guys suggest?

 

[Charm&Style]

wait till she comes to her senses...in a couple of days if she doesnt contact you..give her a call.

 

[Aaron B]

Always do your best to retain your composure while calmly stating the facts.

You did the right thing by calling her on this. Now that she is caught, she is upset.

What exactly happened?

 

[I-am-someone]

Oh boy... a fight...
What's the big deal?

Fights happen, they're a part of life. You can't always agree!

 

[Charm&Style]

relationships with out a once-in-a-while fight get boring

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Always do your best to retain your composure while calmly stating the facts.

You did the right thing by calling her on this. Now that she is caught, she is upset.

What exactly happened?

Yeah, but calling her out among her friends is never productive. Now instead of just having one person pissed off at him, he has several. And guess what they are doing when he's not around. Being right is one thing, doing what works is another.

 

[absolutealex]

We planned to meet up, we're hanging out for about 15 minutes - her best friend makes an international call to her with a crisis. She says it's a really big deal and asks me to leave - I am bothered by this.

 

[Aaron B]

We planned to meet up, we're hanging out for about 15 minutes - her best friend makes an international call to her with a crisis. She says it's a really big deal and asks me to leave - I am bothered by this.

Just be cool and let her go.

Obviously it was important to her. If it starts happening frequently then thats different.

You have to give your woman freedom to do what she wants to do.

Also, hanging out doesn't sound very exciting.

 

[absolutealex]

She was having the stomach flu - so there was not much to be done. However, it really bugged me so I brought it up to her and a fight ensued. This morning, she told me that I was really selfish and have not heard from her since.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

She was having the stomach flu - so there was not much to be done. However, it really bugged me so I brought it up to her and a fight ensued. This morning, she told me that I was really selfish and have not heard from her since.

Not surprising. Why did it bug you so much anyway?

 

[absolutealex]

Mainly because, I had just come back from vacation and had not seen her for about 2 weeks and also I was stuck in meetings all day and was not able to make it over until later in the afternoon, which meant I was sitting in traffic for a good hour.

 

[absolutealex]

advice from my 2 buddies:

buddy #1: "Dude she is ****ting on your face and not even calling it a sundae, ignore her, call her up in a few days and be like I'm sorry come to dinner, then when she comes tell her you forgot."

buddy #2: "What are you doing, drive over there right now and work it out even if she is ignoring you."

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Mainly because, I had just come back from vacation and had not seen her for about 2 weeks and also I was stuck in meetings all day and was not able to make it over until later in the afternoon, which meant I was sitting in traffic for a good hour.

Sounds tough. Do you think she deserved the wrath of your frustration? I mean, she hadn't seen you for a couple of weeks and probably missed you. You were busy and couldn't see her as soon as you got back. She was probably anxious to see you and unfortunately her friend from another country got sick and felt that the only person they could call (internationally) was your girl. Then to top it off her guy blows up at her. Can you see how she could perceive you as selfish?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

advice from my 2 buddies:

buddy #1: "Dude she is ****ting on your face and not even calling it a sundae, ignore her, call her up in a few days and be like I'm sorry come to dinner, then when she comes tell her you forgot."

buddy #2: "What are you doing, drive over there right now and work it out even if she is ignoring you."

Well, at least you have only two choices. The question is whether you'd rather be right or would you rather do something that will work.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

.dp

 

[absolutealex]

Sounds tough. Do you think she deserved the wrath of your frustration? I mean, she hadn't seen you for a couple of weeks and probably missed you. You were busy and couldn't see her as soon as you got back. She was probably anxious to see you and unfortunately her friend from another country got sick and felt that the only person they could call (internationally) was your girl. Then to top it off her guy blows up at her. Can you see how she could perceive you as selfish?

Oh I mean my girl had the stomach flu, her friend had a separate issue.. but I guess from that POV, it makes me a worse person.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Oh I mean my girl had the stomach flu, her friend had a separate issue.. but I guess from that POV, it makes me a worse person.

First and foremost you're probably not a bad person, your feelings are valid. However, your actions could use a bit of an adjustment. The good thing is that you realize albeit a little late, that there was another point of view.

So, whaddaya think you should do given that the two of you have valid points?

 

[absolutealex]

First and foremost you're probably not a bad person, your feelings are valid. However, your actions could use a bit of an adjustment. The good thing is that you realize albeit a little late, that there was another point of view.

So, whaddaya think you should do given that the two of you have valid points?

Well, after some reflection last night - I realized this whole situation is FUBAR cause no matter what way you cut it, someone was being selfish. So, there's no resolution to the problem at hand, because each party thinks they're right. Alas, there is no use in arguing about this because no one is going to win. I feel that the only to "win" so to swallow my pride and say that I am wrong.

 

[absolutealex]

But see don't you guys think going over there is a bit desperate? I kinda feel like maybe she needs her space.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Well, after some reflection last night - I realized this whole situation is FUBAR cause no matter what way you cut it, someone was being selfish. So, there's no resolution to the problem at hand, because each party thinks they're right. Alas, there is no use in arguing about this because no one is going to win. I feel that the only to "win" so to swallow my pride and say that I am wrong.

Whoa... It's scary when the only seemingly viable solution is self castration... Especially when it isn't.....