got girl 2 cheat on her bf, but now feels guilty... help!

[bstunt10190]

okay i really need some advice.

so last night said girl came over we had some drinks and moved from the table to the bed where i began seducing her. suddenly she sits up and says wait and i go what and she starts telling me that she cant and that last time we were together was a mistake. i told her when shes with me forget about all your troubles and just let me make u feel good. it worked for a little bit but then stopped me again.

I got up and sat away from the desk. she told me to come bak to bed and i told her why was she wasting my time (im prett sure that was a mistake, but i had had a few drinks and wasnt thinking properly but needless to say i was frustrated. AFC?) so i go on telling her that its ok and finally i was just like i dont want to just be your friend but im not trying tobe your boy friend either. and she goes really? and i was like yea. you sure?. yes. that seemed to calm her down a bit but she still wouldnt let me touch her. so i was like do u want me to take u home?. and she was like no. she goes are you saying that you dont want to be my friend? and then i was stumped (sp?) i didnt know what to say i didnt kno where i should say no or yes.

what should i do next time she confronts me with that. side note she still wants to hang out iwth me but i think i need to clear this dilema up before i get frustrated again.

any and all advice please!

 

[GuanYu]

she's obviously a ho if she keeps coming to you for company when she has a boyfriend. I would just take things easy for now and still be friendly to her. Maybe just let her initiate things such as when she wants to see you. That way she'll wonder what you're doing and probably be more willing to go further next time.

Oh and girls like her want you to remain "friends". It's their way of justifying coming to visit. Just be sexual with her. Saying you didn't want to be her friend or boyfriend puts her in a bad situation. If you're not her "friend" she doesn't have much of a reason to come see you. Get it? Friend + male + cheating ho = fb. It's up to you to keep getting her aroused enough to warrant her cheating.

 

[bstunt10190]

thanks guanyu,

i ended up tell her that sure we can be friends because it would b a real shame said cheating ho (freaky yet stubborn ho)

 

[DonGorgon]

Women cannot process guilt... it requires logic... they dont have that.. She is pretending to feel guilty as a diversion cause she is not as into you as you are into her..

Other things females cannot process:

Sympathy
empathy

 

[bstunt10190]

i will admit i am into her but i can control i, i think...

anyways thanks dongordon

 

[Energizer]

Interesting

though I would like to clarify to energizer that i am not looking for a relationship with this girl, therefore i dont care if shes with other guys. (in fact i know shes been with others guys)

Then a few posts later

i will admit i am into her but i can control i, i think...

"Into her" in more ways than one by the sounds of things.

 

[Igetit!]

Women cannot process guilt... it requires logic... they dont have that..

I disagree with this. I didn't say you were wrong DonGordon,just that I disagree...about the part that women don't have logic. Of course women have logic,it's just that their logic doesn't make sense rationally. Their logic makes sense emotionally. For example:There's a woman who likes country music,playing tennis,and goes to a baptist church. Two guys approach her:One likes country music,tennis,and is a member of a baptist church,but acts and behaves afc and approaches girls by trying to be their friend. The other likes rock music,bowling,and doesn't go to church at all,but he's strong,masculine,self-respecting/secure.

Logically speaking,because the first guy has so many things in common with the woman (music,sports,religous beliefs) you'd think they'd be the perfect match. From the outside looking in what you see is:She likes country music,so does he. She likes tennis,so does he. She's baptist,so is he. So they'd appear to be a perfect match. Then when she rejects him and chooses the other guy,a guy who has a totally different taste in music,likes different sports,and doesn't even go to church,everybody is shocked and stunned and saying that her decision didn't make any sense,but that's not true.
To her,it makes perfect sense. She wants a guy who creates chemistry in her,who makes her feel like a woman. The second guy did that,so she chose him. That's logic. That makes sense. Oh,they have logic. It's just that their logic follows more of an emotional line than a rational one.

Other things females cannot process:

Sympathy
empathy

I think that women can process empathy/sympathy.....for another woman,or for a guy who they have ZERO interest in.
Other than those two kind of people,I agree with you.

 

[bukowski_merit]

ok... now i'm getting worried about you... you already sound like you're developing pretty strong feelings for her (otherwise her rejecting you would not have effected you so much) and you're also investing a lot of time and energy into her... this really is not good...

you need to pull back... withdraw from her... she came over your house, drank with you, and all this time she knew what you wanted with her... she knew you were going to make your move on her... and when you did - she stopped you... and this was a test... not test to see if you would force her... but a test to see how you would respond when she did turn down the sex...ideally - she wanted you to accept it and go lay in bed with her without much of a fuss (which is pretty much what you did)...

so essentially, she's getting what she wants from her boyfriend that she can't get from him - out of you (attention, affection, time, etc) but she doesn't want to "technically" cheat on him by having $ex with you...

you've already made some serious mistakes, and i think rather than advise you on what to say to stuff she says, i can tell you - you need to withdraw from her for about a week and clear your head (And also give her time to feel that she's losing you)... you should not tell her this... just withdraw your attention from her... you can talk occasionally... but if she wants to do something this week - you're busy... seriously man, you don't want to develop one-itis for this girl... now... i'll get into specifics...

suddenly she sits up and says wait and i go what and she starts telling me that she cant and that last time we were together was a mistake.

this was planned all along. believe that... she just wanted to prove to herself she could stop herself... and she did... me personally? i wouldn't have said anything about making her feel good or forgetting about her problems... because she essentially knows at this point that this means you're looking for her ok to continue with the sex... i would have said "shhhhh" (putting my finger over her mouth) while seductively kissing/lightly biting her neck and then whispered "relax" in her ear... which works a lot... but lets say she still continued to put up resistance... at this point i would get up... if i had began to get undressed - i would put all my clothes on... and that would seriously be time to go now (take her home or whatever).... im not letting some girl lay up in my bad and ask me to come lay with her... my time (and your time) is too valuable to be using it on some headcase girl...

and the reality is, she will respect you a lot more after this.... she'll probably throw a thousand sh!t test at you on the way home... but don't even fall into any of them... just freeze her out and become cold towards her...

you can't be afraid of losing her! but she must be afraid of losing you!


PS: being that i have a lot of experience doing this - i can advise you that there's a 90% chance she will tell her BF she cheated with you. regardless of if she said she NEVER would or what... they just do... so be ready for that... i always am... i'm a great fighter... but that doesn't mean i can dodge bullets... so someday this could all catch up to me... and that is the price i pay...

 

[bstunt10190]

i see, yea taking time away from her is what i am going to do.

i just didnt know what to do or respond. I wanted to take her home but she convinced me not to.

i'll keep ya'll posted on how it goes

thanks bukowski

 

[DonGorgon]

I disagree with this. I didn't say you were wrong DonGordon,just that I disagree...about the part that women don't have logic. Of course women have logic,it's just that their logic doesn't make sense rationally. Their logic makes sense emotionally. For example:There's a woman who likes country music,playing tennis,and goes to a baptist church. Two guys approach her:One likes country music,tennis,and is a member of a baptist church,but acts and behaves afc and approaches girls by trying to be their friend. The other likes rock music,bowling,and doesn't go to church at all,but he's strong,masculine,self-respecting/secure.

Logically speaking,because the first guy has so many things in common with the woman (music,sports,religous beliefs) you'd think they'd be the perfect match. From the outside looking in what you see is:She likes country music,so does he. She likes tennis,so does he. She's baptist,so is he. So they'd appear to be a perfect match. Then when she rejects him and chooses the other guy,a guy who has a totally different taste in music,likes different sports,and doesn't even go to church,everybody is shocked and stunned and saying that her decision didn't make any sense,but that's not true.
To her,it makes perfect sense. She wants a guy who creates chemistry in her,who makes her feel like a woman. The second guy did that,so she chose him. That's logic. That makes sense. Oh,they have logic. It's just that their logic follows more of an emotional line than a rational one.

I think that women can process empathy/sympathy.....for another woman,or for a guy who they have ZERO interest in.
Other than those two kind of people,I agree with you.

estrogen is more mentally debilitating than crack...LOL

 

[innocence]

hi bstunt10190
Don Juan
are u serious abt her ? do u love her?

 

[search1ng]

you should call her bf and tell her she's a slut. mhmm