Got Friendzoned/lost interest after a few dates - what next?

[Harry Wilmington]

Whooo-weee! When I read this, my first thoughts were:

1. You called/text her everyday? No bueno. Just because a woman requests this doesn't mean you DO it - you let her miss you when you're not around, then act masculine when you want to see her by calling her up, taking charge in making the plans, and making the right moves on her when necessary.

2. TEXTING/CALLING TOO MUCH KILLS RELATIONSHIPS

3. You dated this chick too long. Once you started trying to kiss her and she was backing away, you were OUT. So, that would have been what, date 4?? Yeah, too much time spent with this one.

4. You don't owe this girl your friendship. That's her consolation prize for you for putting up with all this back and forth B.S.

Here's how she REALLY feels: she doesn't want you around anymore, but like all women she's being passive in her communication. That's why, instead of straight up saying "let's not see each other ever again," she's saying crap like "let's take a few weeks and re-asses things later." Yeah, a woman that likes you wants you around SOOO much that she's telling you to LEAVE HER ALONE for a few WEEKS? HA!

Another thing: your ego is not letting you feel the rejection. It's putting you in "denial" mode, but the reality is YOU want to be with her in a relationship (or hook up situation) and she does not want to be in one with you. And so, your ego is making you think that somehow you'll be able to turn this situation around. You won't. It's just another girl that wasted your time, but it's also a thing where you're not recognizing the signs that are telling you to end this thing, and so you're wasting your OWN time AND hers by continuing communication.

My thoughts? Don't contact her. When she tries to contact you weeks later, don't contact her for the first 5 messages. If after message 5 she's begging and pleading to meet up with you, THAT will let you know if she's started to change her mind about you. If not, then it hasn't. Either way, still wouldn't advise to keep contacting her, but at least by waiting a bit you'd have a better shot. Hope this helps!

 

[Still Learning the Game]

If anyone cares....

I decided to stay friends with this girl. Purely just to keep things on friendly terms with her but knowing we will slowly drift apart. Texted once last week just to see how she is, had a small conversation. Told her it was my birthday next week and she suggested we go out and celebrate together this weekend. I agreed.

I decided I will keep quite until the weekend/date she proposed that we would go out. She texted me late Saturday night asking what I was up to and told her I was out drunk with friends. I was pretty drunk so texting her some obscure stuff which she thought was hilarious. She then sends me a selfie - obviously fishing for compliments. I didn't give any.

And here is the big thing - I don't know if it was because I have been ignoring her/trying to look cool and busy on social media or her just coming out with it, she pretty much announced via facebook she still loves her boyrfriend in South America. It was his birthday a couple of days ago and sent this big message to him with a photo of them together. Basically she was saying how she loved him so much and that when she returns back home they will celebrate many birthdays together. They both exchanged more mushy romantic messages to each other back and forth.

She has a ton of white knight beta orbiters always liking her profile pictures so they must be devastated lol
The scary thing is that his birthday is one day apart from mine.....

Even though I knew it was over between us it did kind of hurt. When she originally told me why she didn't want to be with me she said there was no other person in her life - which it seems is not true.

I guess the positive here is that I dodged a bullet. Even if I was able to hook up with her and make her my girlfriend she seems not so reliable and trust worthy. Being on Tinder and dating/kissing guys while having a boyfriend is not something to be proud of.

Perhaps if I played my cards right I may have been able to have sex with her once, but I doubt I would of been anything more then that after.

I will see how this "friendship" goes, if she does become a true friend I will hit her up and ask her to help me find a girlfriend.

 

[FCB]

If anyone cares....

I decided to stay friends with this girl. Purely just to keep things on friendly terms with her but knowing we will slowly drift apart. Texted once last week just to see how she is, had a small conversation. Told her it was my birthday next week and she suggested we go out and celebrate together this weekend. I agreed.

I decided I will keep quite until the weekend/date she proposed that we would go out. She texted me late Saturday night asking what I was up to and told her I was out drunk with friends. I was pretty drunk so texting her some obscure stuff which she thought was hilarious. She then sends me a selfie - obviously fishing for compliments. I didn't give any.

And here is the big thing - I don't know if it was because I have been ignoring her/trying to look cool and busy on social media or her just coming out with it, she pretty much announced via facebook she still loves her boyrfriend in South America. It was his birthday a couple of days ago and sent this big message to him with a photo of them together. Basically she was saying how she loved him so much and that when she returns back home they will celebrate many birthdays together. They both exchanged more mushy romantic messages to each other back and forth.

She has a ton of white knight beta orbiters always liking her profile pictures so they must be devastated lol
The scary thing is that his birthday is one day apart from mine.....

Even though I knew it was over between us it did kind of hurt. When she originally told me why she didn't want to be with me she said there was no other person in her life - which it seems is not true.

I guess the positive here is that I dodged a bullet. Even if I was able to hook up with her and make her my girlfriend she seems not so reliable and trust worthy. Being on Tinder and dating/kissing guys while having a boyfriend is not something to be proud of.

Perhaps if I played my cards right I may have been able to have sex with her once, but I doubt I would of been anything more then that after.

I will see how this "friendship" goes, if she does become a true friend I will hit her up and ask her to help me find a girlfriend.

Wow you are ****ing delusional. You have feelings and are volunteering to be a punching bag. You think you can play games and get the upper hand but you have no shot, she's indifferent and rejected you and basically offered to shovel more **** on you and you happily accepted. And you still are pedastalizing her and commenting on things she's doing as if she let you down. Realize that she is a human like the rest of us, just one you want to bone. She's not a good person, would you agree to be friends with guys who treated you like this? What advantage do you have to being friends with her? Do you think she'll actually hook you up with friends?

Hypothetically you could be friends with her and benefit, but you'd need to actually not give a ****, not act like you don't and you'd probably need to gain something from the friendship. Both of those scenarios aren't happening clearly from your posts, so do yourself a huge favor and to avoid pain and further shock to your self esteem man up and cut the cord, because she does not give a **** about you and will still be ****ing other guys while she's away from her bf.

 

[Don Israel]

I say be their 'friend' as long as you are not being disrespected or as long you see value in them which can be beneficial for your own life. Whether you want to invest time in them is up to you to know and decide; after analyzing each scenario with each gyal

 

[Yewki]

If anyone cares....

I decided to...

Thanks for sharing, but it is you that cares too much. Forget about this girl and pursue others.

 

[Ronaldo7]

Once individuals understand that one shall not involve feelings with h0es, Hegel will be a happy man.

It is completely irrational to demonstrate feelings towards a woman, whom you will only use as a c0m dumpster.

Therefore, its not real. It is rational to only involve your mind, not your heart.

What is rational is real and what is real is rational. Your situation is not real and therefore not rational.

Move on & work on your weaknesses.

 

[RangerMIke]

Stop chasing her... stop looking at her Facebook cr@p. Forget about her. Go get other girls. Stop torturing youself.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I dont want to sound like a broken record but im still 50/50 about being this girls friend.

Like i said i know women make horrible friends most of the time, but she has said to me numerous times i am an "amazing" person and that i am probably the best person she has met since she has moved to this city, and will always have time for me. Could be fake words i dont know.

If our friendship does become strong i will honestly ask her to help me if she can introduce me to some of her class mates. Maybe it will be a relief for her as well. I could possibly use her as an asset or resource to expand my social circle and meet new people

On the other hand she in unreliable as a person, seems like all she does is go out with her friends or stays home and sleeps/goes on the internet. How much of a friend can she really be? If we do things together and people ask us if we are bf and gf it might makes things awkward. Will she be my real friend or will i just be her little pet to be used when she is boring or lonely?

If i do stay as her friend i will never be always available and if i am geniuenly doing something i will ask her to re-schedule. I wont change the way i act but it will be no more compliments, no more paying for her stuff, no more scenarios were it ends up like a date situation. Just basic stuff friends would do. If she would try to rest her hands on my shoulder or hold my hands i will brush her off.

Maybe if i do decide to be friends with her i will tell her strait up that friendship is a two-way street and i cant always keep putting in the effort and i can set boundaries.

Maybe you wont all believe me but if i do become friends i wont make her my priority: i will go back on online dating and try be more social.

I really dont know what to do

It doesn't matter as long as you are phucking her. It doesn't matter what the title is. You can still frame things where phucking is the only option or one of them and jettison her if she tries to bypass.

It's up to you. Having female friends not always a bad thing especially if she pays for some of your dinners and brings you other females and displays you in a good light.

But with this babe, it sounds like you will be a lot happier if she's allowing you to place your rod deep within her womb. And whatever makes you happy is something you should not avoid.

There are other women, millions that look as good as her or better that have more going on for themselves. This is why the men of SS develop options and don't get stuck on one "unicorn" because it's only a "unicorn" in their mind.

Even if you love someone it's good realizing its a big wide world out there and there are many others who will make you as or more happy.