Got Flaked on Tonight

[Solomon]

POF/OKC baah what's the difference.

I haven't been on POF in years. I took a break from OKC but went on recently & as I'm messaging these sloots I get a sense of desperation rush over me. I got a good chuckle out of it. The last chick I was talking to told me she was husband hunting...lol a curvy/30 something about to hit the wall is husband hunting on OKC. I nearly choked on my lunch from laughing so hard.

We should just ban these sites, wishful thinking I know.

No clue where you live but POF/OKC died as soon as Tinder hit the scene, the quality always has been pisspoor but now it's noting but wilderbeasts and women from the abyss

 

[Tenacity]

Yeah nothing astonishing right? I think i'm just posting this to remind myself how retarded the game can be.

And that's all it is brother. There's been some good info in this thread, but the entire "you didn't lead her" stuff is Manosphere lingo. You could have LEAD this girl to a damn pot of gold.....the chick was still going to FLAKE because when you deal with online dating chicks, at least 30% of your chicks are going to FLAKE. Period. End of Story. Nothing you nor LEBRON JAMES could do about it.

Lebron James a.ss would have gotten flaked on too lol!

 

[Reyaj]

It seems to me that you are hinging your success on the outside opinions of others--the so-called PUA gurus who claim to have a highly complex and patented formula for avoiding flaking.

In fact flaking is very common, and in my opinion, unavoidable.

The more women I approach, the more rejections and successes I will encounter. It's that simple. It is a numbers game.

In my experience the best method for minimizing flaking (notice that I did not write avoiding flaking) is to spin plates.

The more women I pursue, the more opportunities I generate. For every 10 who flake or say no or cancel, there is inevitably 1 or 2 who will say yes and who will meet you.

Not at all Espi, trust me I expect the same dogmatic bs from certain keyboard jockeys on here. There's a few people who post based on experience versus theory and those are the ones I tune into.

You are 150% dead on about the numbers game... I learned this lesson back years ago in my approach journal. I think what a lot of theorists have a hard time understanding is that their fundamentals won't always work in a real world dynamic environment. I am acknowledging that I should have set the plans but I am also very confident that wouldn't have made her not flake. Frankly I think she was genuinely interested but just decided at the last moment it was too inconvenient for that day.

Ok, now I understand why this guy goes to strip clubs and gets handjobs.

No shame here, I also got a BJ last time and didn't even ask for any of it. The girl just took some initiative in the lap dance room.

And that's all it is brother. There's been some good info in this thread, but the entire "you didn't lead her" stuff is Manosphere lingo. You could have LEAD this girl to a damn pot of gold.....the chick was still going to FLAKE because when you deal with online dating chicks, at least 30% of your chicks are going to FLAKE. Period. End of Story. Nothing you nor LEBRON JAMES could do about it.

Lebron James a.ss would have gotten flaked on too lol!

Amen.

I have some more thoughts about handling this type of scenario, based on my recent experience.

My golden rule is 20 minutes. If they don't show by then, I leave.

This past Friday I was supposed to meet a chick at 1 pm for lunch. I got there at 1 pm and texted her: "I am here." No response.

At 120 pm, I got up and left. About 15 mins. later she texts me: "I am sitting here outside by the pool."

My response: "Sorry Hon but I left about 15 mins. ago. I am heading back to Clearwater. No hard feelings. Have a great weekend."

She calls ME a few mins. later and agrees to meet ME in Clearwater that same afternoon.

I didn't fvuck her but I had a pleasurable Friday lunch with her.

One thing that sticks out (besides her big fake perky boobs) is,
during lunch, she accused me of giving her the boot. LOL.

In my opinion, THAT is how you handle last-second flaking.

You MUST show that you're willing to leave them. I'm convinced that every hot chick does this.

I'm convinced that my leaving her got her somewhat wet between the thighs and that I will eventually fvuck her silly.

Nice espi. I actually like the girl to show up first personally... so I won't admit I'm even there until she is.

 

[EyeBRollin]

The last few weeks I'm back to the no flake policy. If she breaks the date, she must counter or ask you out directly. If she doesn't, throw her number away. Do not ever ask out a chick that breaks a date. How many dates have you broken? Zilch. Nada.

If her excuse is something legitimate, she will counter offer. 98% of the time her story is total bull****.

 

[guru1000]

Most cares in life fall under the rule of abundance.

If I have six dates scheduled for the weekend, and two flake, I have no fvcks in the world-- as I could move dates around, or one of a double- or triple-header dropped out, or I would have likely flaked on them irrespectively. BUT, although I know I can generate options at will, IF I have only two dates scheduled, two flake, and no other immediate options available, I do care.

Best not to foolishly believe you don't give a fvck--when you do--under the guise of self-contrived thinking. You truly don't give a fvck, by scheduling more dates or keeping your harem loaded. If you can't schedule more dates or load a harem, then dip a point or two below your SMV, load up the gun, and slowly unload as more qualified prospects arrive.

Never NEXT a girl for SMV deficiency. Keep yourself in abundance, always. NEXT, only to create room where none is available or for less-than-perfect behavior.

 

[Reyaj]

Most cares in life fall under the rule of abundance.

If I have six dates scheduled for the weekend, and two flake, I have no fvcks in the world-- as I could move dates around, or one of a double- or triple-header dropped out, or I would have likely flaked on them irrespectively. BUT, although I know I can generate options at will, IF I have only two dates scheduled, two flake, and no other immediate options available, I do care.

Best not to foolishly believe you don't give a fvck--when you do--under the guise of self-contrived thinking. You truly don't give a fvck, by scheduling more dates or keeping your harem loaded. If you can't schedule more dates or load a harem, then dip a point or two below your SMV, load up the gun, and slowly unload as more qualified prospects arrive.

Never NEXT a girl for SMV deficiency. Keep yourself in abundance, always. NEXT, only to create room where none is available or for less-than-perfect behavior.

Yes, this is plate theory and I agree with it for the most part. I think the only item the seems to get missed is the time investment in raising a chick's IL. Lining up a bunch of dates doesn't get you close to the lay with any particular one unless you build rapport. I think a lot of people read plate theory and think if they just talk to and set up dates with multiple girls their lay number will automatically rise not understanding that there is work that needs to be put in.

 

[guru1000]

Yes, this is plate theory and I agree with it for the most part. I think the only item the seems to get missed is the time investment in raising a chick's IL. Lining up a bunch of dates doesn't get you close to the lay with any particular one unless you build rapport. I think a lot of people read plate theory and think if they just talk to and set up dates with multiple girls their lay number will automatically rise not understanding that there is work that needs to be put in.

My time investment in attempting to raise IL = none.

I schedule dates within three text messages or emails. I find three text messages/e-mails to be the ideal number between establishing rapport to set a date and wasting time.

If a girl attempts to initiate small talk after the date is set, I'll respond with, "Hey hon, great to hear from you! I have quite a busy work schedule this week. But, I'd like to see you Sat at 8, if you're still up for it." That's it. No small talk. No "How's your day." No intraday rapport-building. Time is valuable to me as I have very little of it. Hence, why my flake ratio may be higher than others who may engage in intraday rapport.

I simply don't care if they flake. To me, it's about time management. I set up dates quickly Sunday-Tuesday nights at any time between 8-10 p.m, the hottest hours. I will initiate enough messages to schedule 4 - 6 dates (dependent upon my plate management). Then 100% focus onto my business for the rest of the week, without a care in the world about silly women.

At meet up, I escalate hard and fast. If a girl does not reciprocate, she gets no second chance with me.

 

[l_e_g_e_n_d]

My time investment in attempting to raise IL = none.

I schedule dates within three text messages or emails. I find three text messages/e-mails to be the ideal number between establishing rapport to set a date and wasting time.

If a girl attempts to initiate small talk after the date is set, I'll respond with, "Hey hon, great to hear from you! I have quite a busy work schedule this week. But, I'd like to see you Sat at 8, if you're still up for it." That's it. No small talk. No "How's your day." No intraday rapport-building. Time is valuable to me as I have very little of it. Hence, why my flake ratio may be higher than others who may engage in intraday rapport.

I simply don't care if they flake. To me, it's about time management. I set up dates quickly Sunday-Tuesday nights at any time between 8-10 p.m, the hottest hours. I will initiate enough messages to schedule 4 - 6 dates (dependent upon my plate management). Then 100% focus onto my business for the rest of the week, without a care in the world about silly women.

At meet up, I escalate hard and fast. If a girl does not reciprocate, she gets no second chance with me.

Beast!

 

[Tenacity]

My time investment in attempting to raise IL = none.

I schedule dates within three text messages or emails. I find three text messages/e-mails to be the ideal number between establishing rapport to set a date and wasting time.

If a girl attempts to initiate small talk after the date is set, I'll respond with, "Hey hon, great to hear from you! I have quite a busy work schedule this week. But, I'd like to see you Sat at 8, if you're still up for it." That's it. No small talk. No "How's your day." No intraday rapport-building. Time is valuable to me as I have very little of it. Hence, why my flake ratio may be higher than others who may engage in intraday rapport.

I simply don't care if they flake. To me, it's about time management. I set up dates quickly Sunday-Tuesday nights at any time between 8-10 p.m, the hottest hours. I will initiate enough messages to schedule 4 - 6 dates (dependent upon my plate management). Then 100% focus onto my business for the rest of the week, without a care in the world about silly women.

At meet up, I escalate hard and fast. If a girl does not reciprocate, she gets no second chance with me.

I try NOT to setup the date so fast because, many of the chicks on OLD are serial dating chicks. That means she's giving her number out to 20 guys, to get 10 free dates, and won't fvck/move forward with any of them. I mean literally the chick will be out on a "date" for 8 hours with a guy, going from place to place to place over the 8 hours, with the guy having spent at least $200. Then the chick texts him that night and says some bullshyt like:

"Ummm...I had a great time today Steve, but ummm..I just didn't feel a connection. I wish you luck on your search."

Bytch if you didn't feel a connection, WTF did you spend 8 hours of Steve's time for, going from place to place to place....spending AT LEAST $200 of his money? You didn't KNOW you didn't feel a fvcking connection when you guys were at the first place? Why would you go to 4 other places with Steve then??

I'll tell you why, it's because she's full of shyt. She's a user. She had no plans to do shyt with Steve or anybody. She gives her number out to 20 guys to get 10 free dates usually on a rotational period every 1 - 2 months.

For this reason, I don't rush into dates. I use the telephone/texting game for at least a week to "feel" the chick out. I can usually estimate pretty accurately if this chick is going to move forward/fvck with me or not, and if I can estimate that she will....THAT'S when I setup the meet-up/date.

 

[Reyaj]

My time investment in attempting to raise IL = none.

I schedule dates within three text messages or emails. I find three text messages/e-mails to be the ideal number between establishing rapport to set a date and wasting time.

If a girl attempts to initiate small talk after the date is set, I'll respond with, "Hey hon, great to hear from you! I have quite a busy work schedule this week. But, I'd like to see you Sat at 8, if you're still up for it." That's it. No small talk. No "How's your day." No intraday rapport-building. Time is valuable to me as I have very little of it. Hence, why my flake ratio may be higher than others who may engage in intraday rapport.

I simply don't care if they flake. To me, it's about time management. I set up dates quickly Sunday-Tuesday nights at any time between 8-10 p.m, the hottest hours. I will initiate enough messages to schedule 4 - 6 dates (dependent upon my plate management). Then 100% focus onto my business for the rest of the week, without a care in the world about silly women.

At meet up, I escalate hard and fast. If a girl does not reciprocate, she gets no second chance with me.

I totally understand your position. Regarding your first date escalation.. is anything short of sex a next, or will making out suffice?

I try NOT to setup the date so fast because, many of the chicks on OLD are serial dating chicks. That means she's giving her number out to 20 guys, to get 10 free dates, and won't fvck/move forward with any of them. I mean literally the chick will be out on a "date" for 8 hours with a guy, going from place to place to place over the 8 hours, with the guy having spent at least $200. Then the chick texts him that night and says some bullshyt like:

"Ummm...I had a great time today Steve, but ummm..I just didn't feel a connection. I wish you luck on your search."

Bytch if you didn't feel a connection, WTF did you spend 8 hours of Steve's time for, going from place to place to place....spending AT LEAST $200 of his money? You didn't KNOW you didn't feel a fvcking connection when you guys were at the first place? Why would you go to 4 other places with Steve then??

I'll tell you why, it's because she's full of shyt. She's a user. She had no plans to do shyt with Steve or anybody. She gives her number out to 20 guys to get 10 free dates usually on a rotational period every 1 - 2 months.

For this reason, I don't rush into dates. I use the telephone/texting game for at least a week to "feel" the chick out. I can usually estimate pretty accurately if this chick is going to move forward/fvck with me or not, and if I can estimate that she will....THAT'S when I setup the meet-up/date.

All true. Unfortunately even those that seem promising on the phone/text sometimes turn out to be in the same category. At the end of the day it really is a numbers game.

 

[guru1000]

I totally understand your position. Regarding your first date escalation.. is anything short of sex a next, or will making out suffice?

Not all women bang on the first date. As long as I am escalating, and her interest in me is clear, she gets the gift of my company--at least for the hour.

I try NOT to setup the date so fast because, many of the chicks on OLD are serial dating chicks. That means she's giving her number out to 20 guys, to get 10 free dates, and won't fvck/move forward with any of them. I mean literally the chick will be out on a "date" for 8 hours with a guy, going from place to place to place over the 8 hours, with the guy having spent at least $200. Then the chick texts him that night and says some bullshyt like:

"Ummm...I had a great time today Steve, but ummm..I just didn't feel a connection. I wish you luck on your search."

Bytch if you didn't feel a connection, WTF did you spend 8 hours of Steve's time for, going from place to place to place....spending AT LEAST $200 of his money? You didn't KNOW you didn't feel a fvcking connection when you guys were at the first place? Why would you go to 4 other places with Steve then??

I'll tell you why, it's because she's full of shyt. She's a user. She had no plans to do shyt with Steve or anybody. She gives her number out to 20 guys to get 10 free dates usually on a rotational period every 1 - 2 months.

For this reason, I don't rush into dates. I use the telephone/texting game for at least a week to "feel" the chick out. I can usually estimate pretty accurately if this chick is going to move forward/fvck with me or not, and if I can estimate that she will....THAT'S when I setup the meet-up/date.

Tenacity, I care not about wasting money or time because my dates seldomly last more than one hour or one drink, as she will either be coming to my house following the drink or I will schedule a double/triple- header night, with the next date arriving within the hour.

Another reason I waste no time until the date is the probability of my not wanting to fvck her is higher than 70%. In most of my dates, the girls, in person (as opposed to the OLD pics), do not meet the minimum threshold of looks to bang, so I am outta there quickly. To waste time qualifying a prospect on the phone for whom I am not likely inclined to bang is a waste of time. More prudent to schedule double- and triple-headers to increase the odds of finding a bangable candidate for the night.

 

[Reyaj]

Not all women bang on the first date. As long as I am escalating, and her interest in me is clear, she gets the gift of my company--at least for the hour.


Tenacity, I care not about wasting money or time because my dates seldomly last more than one hour or one drink, as she will either be coming to my house following the drink or I will schedule a double/triple- header night, with the next date arriving within the hour.

Another reason I waste no time until the date is the probability of my not wanting to fvck her is higher than 70%. In most of my dates, the girls, in person (as opposed to the OLD pics), do not meet the minimum threshold of looks to bang, so I am outta there quickly. To waste time qualifying a prospect on the phone for whom I am not likely inclined to bang is a waste of time. More prudent to schedule double- and triple-headers to increase the odds of finding a bangable candidate for the night.

Well glad you admit that not all girls will sleep with you on the first date. Heck I'd expect some posters to give the old "If you were Brad Pitt do you think she'd deny you blah blah blah blah"

I guess my question is though.. what do you consider enough reciprocation from her on the first date to grant her another one? If you kiss good night, is that good enough? Also how/when do you make your move? I'd be interested to hear an example one that occured.

I have a gf and spin on the side so I don't waste as much time as I used to chasing chicks, but I am finding that there does seem to be at least a little level of effort through small talk but more importantly it hinges on external factors in the girl's life you can't always dictate.

 

[nismo-4]

Enter the judge.

Well glad you admit that not all girls will sleep with you on the first date. Heck I'd expect some posters to give the old "If you were Brad Pitt do you think she'd deny you blah blah blah blah"

True, not all girls put out on the first date. They can get bitter and jaded like men do in the dating game. Not all men are Brad Pitt. Every man gets flaked on. Women have lives too. Don't forget that. And don't let your ego cloud you.

I guess my question is though.. what do you consider enough reciprocation from her on the first date to grant her another one? If you kiss good night, is that good enough? Also how/when do you make your move? I'd be interested to hear an example one that occured.

It all depends on her interest. If you don't get a second date from a woman, you f**ked up somewhere and need to just move to a new girl. A kiss really doesn't mean sh*t. If you feel the time is right, make a move. Unless you just want to communicate you want a seat in the friendzone. If you make a move and she backs off, at least you're showing you're no beta orbiter. No risk, no reward. Gotta do something even if it means you might take a hit.

I have a gf and spin on the side so I don't waste as much time as I used to chasing chicks, but I am finding that there does seem to be at least a little level of effort through small talk but more importantly it hinges on external factors in the girl's life you can't always dictate.

As long as you don't chase.

Read betwee- It's been a long time.

 

[Reyaj]

Good stuff Nismo! I think your last line hit home "As long as you don't chase" couldn't agree more.

I am going to post my update on the hottie I pulled from the networking event. I'd really like you to read and give me your objective feedback.

 

[Elliot]

Can relate - had a lunch date at my house set up today - sent time and date - got sounds great and some in joke stuff about revealing. This was 3 days ago - she didn't turn up - rang and said she was waiting for me to confirm the time! argh - there's flaking and then there's simply low level interest/respect behaviour - sent her text saying drop me a note if you want to meet, sent her a screenshot of the text confirmation and said if you don't want to show up -'be upfront and say -
- correct (or more importantly effective response)?