Got dumped. Need help.

[Myrrdin]

Hello everyone,

good to finally be in. So my girl dumped me. We were together for 1 year. She has just started her last year of highschool and I'm 3 years older. I got a job and things we're quite looking up for me. At first I was playing hard to get and all that and 3 months ago she wanted to break-up with me because I was so cold and she wanted affection and to tell her that I love her, etc (a little bit of PUA training). I burst into tears and totally went AFC and told her that I love her and stuff like that. after 1 week apart and me pouring my heart out we went back together. Things were going ok and I kinda left my guard down and started focusing on my career and stopped going to the gym (I'm skinny but very hansome) and being funny and just..... aged . on the 1st of September she broke up with me. Her reasons where that she wanted to be alone and we were not compatible. I went AFC again and cried. And this time she said it's for good. She also had tears in her eyes and she said she wanted to be friends. I said no . And when I got home I changed my decision and told her that I wanted to be friends.

After a few days I went to her place and told her that I had changed and of course went AFC again. But this time I had a big smile on my face and was extremely relaxed. She shed a tear and said no. It's over. I know she said she wanted to be single, but the next day she was smooching a guy at a club (a close friend of hers that had told her 1 week earlier that he was in love with her). Make no mistake the sex was great, she was yelling her lungs out every time. And it was getting better. I was her first and so was she.

So I was pretty ****ed up during the first week, but now I think I'm finally over it. But I still love her (oneitis).

So this week, I've been playing mind games. I contacted briefly just for a little chatter and told her I might be going on a trip and she thought I was moving out and she panicked and stuff. I've no idea what's going on any more.

Please advise. I need to get my life back on track. I want to bulk up, get to know new people, build a bigger social circle, get some women and stop being the nice guy mommy raised me.

Also what's the mindset to have if she hooks up with one of my friends, because that would be a big blow for me?

And I would really like a mentor. Someone to keep me on the right track because I tend to drift away very easily.

 

[Diaforetikos]

That's not cool for her to be hooking up with one of your friends so soon after you two just broke up. But thats just me.

Please advise. I need to get my life back on track. I want to bulk up, get to know new people, build a bigger social circle, get some women and stop being the nice guy mommy raised me.

You have an idea of what you already want, so go for it. Live your life as if you were the main character in a movie. What would you like to watch? Some boring guy who goes to work and goes to clubs, or someone who took risks and lived uncomfortably to achieve what he ultimately wanted.

Its your life. Live it bro.

Good luck mate.

 

[Myrrdin]

That's not cool for her to be hooking up with one of your friends so soon after you two just broke up. But thats just me.

It's not one of my friends. It's a friend of hers that was hanging out with us from time to time.

Also, what I seem not to get is this. What do you mean when you say "risks"? What kind of risks? When? How? I've no idea. I'm young and foolish but **** it I'm gonna rock this world so help me God.

 

[Ease]

I broke up 2 days ago.

Suck it up kid.

I'm pretty sure we will both not die from this.

 

[Myrrdin]

Yeah, suck it up. But this is the second time I've gotten my heart broken. And I've made a promise, NEVER ****ING AGAIN! But where do I start? I've started reading the Bible and Pook. Hopefully those will put me on the right track.

And how do I fend of all the wise guys that keep bustin my balls all day long?

And how should I deal with it when one of my friends bangs her and then rubs my nose in it?

All of this hurts like hell and even though I try to keep strong in front of them and show I don't care anymore, but I'm tearing apart inside.

I was raised to respect women and love them and respect them and put them on a pedestal but no more!!! I started reading Book of Pook today and it shattered everything I thought I knew about women. I turned to this community because I knew there was something I was doing wrong and needed to find out what.

But I'm an idealist. And I just cannot imagine women are as sick as Pook says.

One more thing. How do I deal with her in the future?

 

[Ease]

Yeah, suck it up. But this is the second time I've gotten my heart broken. And I've made a promise, NEVER ****ING AGAIN! But where do I start? I've started reading the Bible and Pook. Hopefully those will put me on the right track.

And how do I fend of all the wise guys that keep bustin my balls all day long?

And how should I deal with it when one of my friends bangs her and then rubs my nose in it?

All of this hurts like hell and even though I try to keep strong in front of them and show I don't care anymore, but I'm tearing apart inside.

I was raised to respect women and love them and respect them and put them on a pedestal but no more!!!

First, stop saying 'getting heartbroke', thats gay man. And stop saying 'tearing apart inside', thats gay too. You can feel it, but you have a responsibility to act like a man and hide it.

If a wise guy tries to bust your balls, tell him to go eat a ****.

If she is getting banged by somebody else, then the best thing you can do is listen to angry hip hop music and take it out on a punchbag. Gym and run and ****, sometimes its the only peace you can have and will temporarily make you feel normal.

There's nothing that f_cks with a man like knowing his girl that worshiped him will now be worshiping another prick. But this all will pass soon and like i said, nobody ever died of breakup depression.

 

[Maxfarsigth]

But I'm an idealist. And I just cannot imagine women are as sick as Pook says.

What do you mean?
I have read nearly all POOK's material about a couple of times and I have never found someone that point that woman are sick.

When I was younger I kinda though (like you) that women where creatures one had to protect so much, never argue, always please and put in pedestal.
I have found acording to puks material, many other books, WOMEN OPINION OF WOMEN, AND REALITY; that woman are pretty much like POOK describes them.

They are not sick. They are femenine.
Let me tell you one of the most important things I found out: It is womans nature to find the best catch and try to hold them.
Recently I read from POOK that "woman are to be consumed". maybe that impressed you a bit. But Ill tell you something: IVE HEAR FROM WOMENS LIPS that its true! the want to be consumed. The want to be guided and somehow dominated.

And about your breakup.
Its pretty hard but you just have to move on!
Whats that?
Dont contact her. Focus on stuff you want to do.
Try to learn and APPLY stuff from SS.
Try meeting or talking to other girls.
Working out also helps alot.

If you follow the 15 lessons youll be good!
Good Luck!

 

[Diaforetikos]

First, stop saying 'getting heartbroke', thats gay man. And stop saying 'tearing apart inside', thats gay too.

^^^
Hahahaha!! It's part of my sig now.




Dood, read my journal. Its not very detailed, but you get to see basic growth. Also, click on my name and view the first 2 or 3 threads that I've started. You'll see how much I've changed.

As far as taking risks, I mean getting outta your comfort zone. Do whatever you want. Say whatever you want. Whats gonna happen? Nothing. Last night I told a girl I wanted to fvck her. Whats she gonna do, say no? Guess what she did? She just called me 5 minutes ago inviting me over. She specifically told me when her parents were leaving.

Then she said, "Were not gonna have sex."
I said, "Yes we are. Full blown, all out, hardcore sex."
She said, "No."

It wasn't a hard no. It was the, "We can't do this, but I want to, but we can't do this" type of 'No'.


I tell people what I want. Men and women. If I like what I see, I'll tell 'em specifically what I like or don't. If they don't like me or my compliment or critiques, who cares? You live a fvcking life. Don't waste it sitting around being scared that you'll get rejected by people that don't matter. That's a waste of a life. You want a big house, or to get wasted all day, then do those things. Those are extremes. Live by those extremes. Those are risky. Risk something, or you can sit around be safe and comfortable.

LIVE IT!!

 

[Da Realist]

First, stop saying 'getting heartbroke', thats gay man. And stop saying 'tearing apart inside', thats gay too. You can feel it, but you have a responsibility to act like a man and hide it.

If a wise guy tries to bust your balls, tell him to go eat a ****.

If she is getting banged by somebody else, then the best thing you can do is listen to angry hip hop music and take it out on a punchbag. Gym and run and ****, sometimes its the only peace you can have and will temporarily make you feel normal.

There's nothing that f_cks with a man like knowing his girl that worshiped him will now be worshiping another prick. But this all will pass soon and like i said, nobody ever died of breakup depression.

Listen to the man.

 

[Myrrdin]

OK, but do I go after her or just move on? Do I keep playing games or just forget about her completely?

I'm shy at the moment to to approaches on the street. I don't know what to say. Need to keep reading.

As for clubs, girls like the way I dance and sometimes eyefvck the **** out of me. But I can't work my charm in clubs. Again, need to keep reading.

How do I get my self respect back. And my dignity?

And thank you everyone for the help.

 

[blueline]

I broke up with my girl 2 weeks ago now, too. It sucks, dude. I ****ing hate it and I'm miserable right now without her companionship, but guess what, she was a total cunt and I'm better off without her. Besides, I wanted to end it a few weeks before this, but was too chicken**** to do it.

The most satisfying thing to do right now would be to punch her out. I actually wish I *****slapped her on the parting peck on the lips we did the day before we broke up. Regardless, I'm too nice of a guy to do such a thing, and would never hit a woman.

 

[cavedweller]

suck it up

Have a broken heart? (been there, done that)

You have to learn to suck it up and deal with it..

BTW, there are only two ways to heal a broken heart:

1..Get back together..

2..Move on and find someone else..

And, you can take that to the bank...

Good luck....................................................

 

[Igetit!]

So my girl dumped me. We were together for 1 year.

That's rough dude. A year is a long time,more than enough to get emotionally attached to someone,but as one poster said,you just need to suck it up and be strong. This girl you dated,she was in the relationship for a year too,but she had no problem letting go.


Oh yeah....I know you're young and all,but you should have known that her "I want to be alone" line was a lie. No woman "want to be" alone.


Women branch-swing. So by the time she told you that she no longer wanted to be with you,she probably had already been involved with someone else for the past 2 or 3 weeks.

At first I was playing hard to get and all that and 3 months ago she wanted to break-up with me because I was so cold and she wanted affection

You were playing hard to get...in a relationship???


Uhhh....how does that work? Doesn't the fact that you're in the relationship and had been for the past 9 months up to that point mean she ALREADY has you? And where did you get that being cold and withholding affection from your girlfriend/boyfriend was the way to keep the relationship going?


Boy,you weren't kidding when you said you were young,lol.

Ok,but do I go after her,or just move on?

Dude,aren't you a man? Can't decide for yourself? You need a bunch of people on an anonymus forum to guide and direct your dating life?


All we can do is advise and share our experiences with you,we can't run your life. I hate to say this,but if this is how you were in the relationship,then THAT is probably why or at least contributed to the reason why she left you.



You need innergame like a man dying of thirst needs water



Look at all this.....

I burst into tears and totally went AFC and told her that I love her and stuff like that

after 1 week apart and me pouring my heart out we went back together.[/B]

Things were going ok and I kinda left my guard down and started focusing on my career and stopped going to the gym (I'm skinny but very hansome) and being funny and just..... aged . on the 1st of September she broke up with me. Her reasons where that she wanted to be alone and we were not compatible. I went AFC again and cried.

And as if all the proceeding wasn't bad enough,look at the following...

She also had tears in her eyes and she said she wanted to be friends. I said no . And when I got home I changed my decision and told her that I wanted to be friends.

She said she wanted to be just friends,but you said no. Then a little later on,you changed your mind and said yes.


I used to do that....the being indecisive. Dude,that KILLS attraction.

To tell you the truth,I honestly don't see how the relationship lasted as long as it did. It almost seems as if you were INTENTIONALLY trying to push her away.

So this week, I've been playing mind games.

Mind games? What for? What is it you're trying to accomplish?

Well did the "games" work? Did you get whatever it was you were after?

I've no idea what's going on any more.

You got that right.


You're only making a fool out of yourself. Women are MASTERS at mindgames. You're not on neutral ground,mindgames is home turf for females.


There's 80,000 members here,and it'd probably take about half of us putting our minds together just to take on ONE woman,so who do you think you are,lol?

How do I get my self-respect back? And my dignity?

Oh that's easy......






LEAVE HER ALONE!!!



Look,this girl has broken up with you....twice,seen you cry repeatedly,sat and listen you "pour your hear out",got you to tell her you loved her,and on and on. And in addition to this,you think she may be considering hooking up with one of your friends,which SHE KNOWS would hurt you. (see what I mean by women being masters at mindgames?).


And you want her back? Oh...by the way....did she tell you that she loved you back when you told her that you loved her? I doubt it.



You have work to do my friend. You need to start uprooting that ACFness out of you. You'll never get rid of it completely,but at least try to get it down to a tolerable level,lol.



Good luck man.

 

[Myrrdin]

You were playing hard to get...in a relationship???

Yeah, I mean I was affectionate with her, but really not caring. We were having loads of fun, trips and everything, but I just wasn't showing that I loved her and was never submissive. And then, later in the relationship I started getting all mushy and nice and lovable and telling her I love her (she was saying back btw and most of the times she was saying it first).

I've made up my mind. I will meet her and tell her that it was probably best that we are parted and I hope she finds happiness. I think this is the man thing to do. I was a whinny, insufferable ***** and now I must start to become a man.

I need to redefine myself. I need to learn to be a MAN. Everything I thought I knew was wrong. I'm a pathetic excuse of a human being, but still I have to live.

This thread will forever remind me of the b1tch I was.

 

[Ease]

Yeah, I mean I was affectionate with her, but really not caring. We were having loads of fun, trips and everything, but I just wasn't showing that I loved her and was never submissive. And then, later in the relationship I started getting all mushy and nice and lovable and telling her I love her (she was saying back btw and most of the times she was saying it first).

I've made up my mind. I will meet her and tell her that it was probably best that we are parted and I hope she finds happiness. I think this is the man thing to do. I was a whinny, insufferable ***** and now I must start to become a man.

I need to redefine myself. I need to learn to be a MAN. Everything I thought I knew was wrong. I'm a pathetic excuse of a human being, but still I have to live.

This thread will forever remind me of the b1tch I was.

let me give you an insider tip.

It's a bad idea to initiate contact with her now. A girl will 95 times out of a hundred will initiate contact with you eventually, if you act unaffected and moved on.

She will fone and check up to see if you still miss her. When she does this, if she thinks you do not miss her and have moved on, she will start bugging out.

After a breakup there's a winner and a loser. The loser is the one that cares more and has been left worst off. Even if she starts banging someone else, she will still go crazy if she thinks you dont miss her. Being the winner of the breakup-game is important for your peace of mind.

 

[V2Logger]

I agree with the previous posts, especially Igetit's. You really have to cut the dead wood off. You have to hide everyhting that meant anything, pics, letters, phone number, friends on any social network site.

Time to cut ties with thoughts, do not go back in time. It is going to be a long hard road. But we all have traveled down it at one time or another. If the thought comes up about her, even her name, start thinking about something. I used to pray till the thought ran dry.

You got hobbies? Imerse yourself in them. If not, find an old one or a new one. Take a ceramic class or something.

The best thing is to move on, be successful and be a true person. Don't forget people who care about you. Pay them a visit.

Just some thoughts. I just reached a year after a breakup of a six year back in the beginning of August. I am doing well, it was hard, but I am still alive.

Sometimes we fall down, or get layed out. But the most important thing is whether we get up or stay down. For me, it was to get up, and leave that memory behind like an old book with dust on top.

Good luck.

 

[Paintballguy]

dude i feel your pain. i just broke up with my gf of over a year. the best thing you can do is keep yourself busy. it's only been less then a week for me, and i'm already starting to get over it. go out and have fun cause there are tons of other chicks out there.

 

[Myrrdin]

Thanks lads,

I've already put everything behind me. Moving on. Dated a HB7 last night . Need to get out and improve my day game. I'm a hell of a dancer so no problems in clubs. I'm taking up gym starting today and I'm very focused on my job. Also, I want to take up salsa/dancing classes, because loads of women there.

But, I still miss her. And every minute of the day I'm wondering if I'll ever find someone as good. Time will tell. I don't have facebook, deleted number and IM. I'm moving on. I have to.

 

[ken chang]

Have a broken heart? (been there, done that)

You have to learn to suck it up and deal with it..

BTW, there are only two ways to heal a broken heart:

1..Get back together..

2..Move on and find someone else..

And, you can take that to the bank...

Good luck....................................................

Yeah, I think we all have. I got my heart broken several times and had to toughen up the hard way because it took me a while to find out about the DJ bible and pick up artists. You're lucky because you found out about the DJ bible early. A broken heart doesn't affect me so much anymore. Eventually, it wont affect you much, too.

By the way, I like cavedweller's advices. Straight to the point and no BS.

 

[joe henny]

Player Supreme has some pretty good rants on how to get over your ex on youtube