Got a rejection, but relieved

[Whydomyeyeshurt]

I am very new to the game as some of you might have gathered so far from my posts so really I'm at the learning experience stage and just being patient.

So I got a phone number from this woman last week but straight away I could tell that we weren't really a great match and she had low interest. She's on the other side of the wall for sure at 44 and still trying to live the party life. In one of our text exchanges I asked her if she turned into a crazy person when she drank tequila and then last night when we were trying to make plans I mentioned that I wanted to go dutch. She said going dutch was a given these days but she found it off putting that I mentioned it and based on our previous interactions she didn't think we were a match and said goodbye.

On the one hand, I was relieved because I frankly didn't want to hang out with the 44 year old woman who's still partying like she's 20 and would most likely cause me a headache. So I was definitely relieved that she was uninterested and moved on.

However, it did allow me the opportunity to sort of field test and learn a little bit. For example, I should have just gone no contact once she showed definite signs of disinterest. I'm also on the fence as to whether I should have mentioned how we would pay for the date. On the one hand, I want to set a boundary right away that I am not a resource for them. But at the same time, I could have a stronger nonverbal frame where that just comes into play on the first date and I established the boundary in the moment.

Anyway, just sharing because I know there might be other new guys here who are sort of going along in the learning process as well and I just wanted to share.

 

[member160292]

What I learned through my countless failures over the past month is the less you outline the plan, the better off you will be. Not just for setting up the date, but what you expect from the relationship her. Even if a girl states that she like someone who has a plan, you communicate that covertly. Let her mind wonder, let her emotions take over.

 

[Whydomyeyeshurt]

I bet This turned her off.
Just text logistics. Don't talk about the date or game.

Absolutely. And to her credit she was very blunt with me that it was a turn off. But I also wonder if I was sort of self-sabotaging.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

I have a new plate that refuses to go Dutch, either I pay or she does. I can sense this is a thing with her, given her reaction when we discussed it. We went to a relatively expensive venue she suggested the other night, I saw the bill and suggested we split it and she said no and paid, I sat there In disbelief but let her pay given I had paid the last time.

She’s still in 100%, but I still find it weird.

As had been said ad-nauseum here they claim to want equality except when it’s not to their benefit.

In this plate’s case I outrank her in smv but still find her very attractive. As long as she is pleasant I’ll continue to see her.

As a rule I always pick up the first date, if it’s going well - this insures access to the honeypot and if it’s one and done so be it. It’s the price of admission- of course I live in NorCal going to a nice venue is simply part of the dance here.

 

[bat soup]

I am very new to the game as some of you might have gathered so far from my posts so really I'm at the learning experience stage and just being patient.

So I got a phone number from this woman last week but straight away I could tell that we weren't really a great match and she had low interest. She's on the other side of the wall for sure at 44 and still trying to live the party life. In one of our text exchanges I asked her if she turned into a crazy person when she drank tequila and then last night when we were trying to make plans I mentioned that I wanted to go dutch. She said going dutch was a given these days but she found it off putting that I mentioned it and based on our previous interactions she didn't think we were a match and said goodbye.

On the one hand, I was relieved because I frankly didn't want to hang out with the 44 year old woman who's still partying like she's 20 and would most likely cause me a headache. So I was definitely relieved that she was uninterested and moved on.

However, it did allow me the opportunity to sort of field test and learn a little bit. For example, I should have just gone no contact once she showed definite signs of disinterest. I'm also on the fence as to whether I should have mentioned how we would pay for the date. On the one hand, I want to set a boundary right away that I am not a resource for them. But at the same time, I could have a stronger nonverbal frame where that just comes into play on the first date and I established the boundary in the moment.

Anyway, just sharing because I know there might be other new guys here who are sort of going along in the learning process as well and I just wanted to share.

Don't believe the BS that women say. Watch what they do. This broad gets all piisssy when you mention her paying for something herself, even though she's old enough to get a senior discount. Her entitled attitude and greediness is probably the reason she's still single at her age. Men can see right through women like her and are nobody is going to take her seriously.