Got a phone number, make out, but still feel insecure and lack confidence

[JoeJoe85]

I met a girl about 2 months ago through a girl I work with. HB 7.5-8, and she's a dancer for our arena football team Anyway, she would always talk to me when i'd see her out, and I got her to leave the bar with me one day but nothing happen (I was ****-blocked by one of my "friends", long story).

We'd always be kinda flirty with each other, I got a kiss on the cheek once or twice. So saturday I asked her if she wanted to go home with me, she gave me a dirty look and said "I don't do that," but then I reached in to kiss her and got her to make out with me for about a minute or two. Then she gave me her number and address, she was having a party for her friend who was leaving town and told me to stop by. I had to work early so I went home and went to bed (maybe not the best idea).

I should be brimming wiht confidence and excited about seeing her again, but i can't get the courage to call her and am worried sick about the next time I see her. I don't know why I get so nervous after every time I get sexual with a girl in any way. I alwasy get the the vibe that girls don't trust me, and keep worrying about it.

Do you guys have any pointers/advice?
Am I right to be that nervous or am I just that neurotic.

[EDIT] I was able to display confidence and alpha-male behavior that night, but I always seem to revert back to my old ways.

 

[Sir_Turtle]

The thing that always works for me is not focusing on goals so much. I.E. getting her pants off/getting into a relationship. When you're with her live in the moment and just have fun. You don't have to force it.

 

[Allurre]

Bro, you should NEVER had said, "wanna come home with me".

That implies that you want to SEX her. It's too forward, and she seems like a girl with class & values.

Just like Sir Turtle says, live the moment. Bring her out on more action dates, EXCITING dates. Make them memorable.

Let her know that you're genuinely interested, and not just after getting physical with her.

Sex will follow.

 

[Cinamon]

So she gave you her number, and it has been how many days since you have not tried contacting her. She is probably thinking he only wanted to get me in to bed and as i said no, he isnt interested anyomre. Time to send a text just seeing what she is up to, or making any form of contact before she ticks you off as a randy fu(k who was only after one thing.

 

[oakraiderz2]

Sooo...you play arena football?

 

[JoeJoe85]

Bro, you should NEVER had said, "wanna come home with me".

That implies that you want to SEX her. It's too forward, and she seems like a girl with class & values.

Just like Sir Turtle says, live the moment. Bring her out on more action dates, EXCITING dates. Make them memorable.

Let her know that you're genuinely interested, and not just after getting physical with her.

Sex will follow.

From the stories I've heard she's not a girl with class and values.

 

[tarotale]

you are not the only one man. i have to keep fighiting my inner wuss, but i am doing pretty ok so should you

 

[Vice]

It should be pretty obvious that making out with females and getting their phone numbers does not, and should not build confidence.

Build confidence by doing things that move YOU forward, like accomplishing something.

 

[Vice]

It should be pretty obvious that making out with females and getting their phone numbers does not, and should not build confidence.

Build confidence by doing things that move YOU forward, like accomplishing something.

 

[Kevin Feng]

You're overanalyzing right now, a similar problem I used to have.

Here's the deal, Johnny Wolf helped point this out for me, when you're first starting out it's a little tougher since you're not as successful with women and when you do make decent progress with one, then you start to choke up.

Just remember, I don't mean to say that women are dispensible objects, but when it comes to building your skillset, you need to plow throw dozens of them to learn.

Don't see this girl as just one more in the sea, if you don't care about losing her, than it won't be that big of a deal.

-Kevin

 

[JoeJoe85]

UPDATE: Ran into the same girl again on tuesday. She told me to come shoot pool with her, we had a really good time, I wound up taking her to some dive bar to play shuffleboard at (she was all about playing it).

There was light contact and I knew she felt comfortable around me, and actually didn't feel nervous. I really enjoyed myself and I think she did too. I wound up giving her a ride home, and she told me "I could park in her driveway." So I went up with her, she got me a beer.

Here's where it got weird. She sat on her chair, I was on her couch, I said "let's watch tv." She said her cable was out. I said 'let's watch a movie' she said her DVD player was broken. Then we were gonna play her PS3, she turned it on and said "it doesn't work." So that gave me the idea that she wanted to have sex or at least fool around.

I sat next to her and started to kiss her, she didn't pull away or anything but she didn't do anything either. She said in a cute voice "you're lovin' me aren't you." I said 'Yeah, how come your not doing anything, you were into it last week.' She said that she was too drunk and tired to do anything and had to get up early the next day. (WTF) She said she didn't mind that I made a move on her, she said she would have slapped me by that point if she did mind. I also never mentioned the word sex or did anything besides kiss her.

So she walked me out to my car, I hugged her when we left and we kissed each other a few times. Then she locked herself out of the place, her roommate let her back in, I felt good leaving, but that night i felt like embarrassed for her getting locked out. I facebooked her the next day (something I never do), she accepted my friend request but respond to the message I sent her.

She was on the chat the next day, i messaged her, she didn't respond for about ten minutes, but then we talked for a bit, nothing too interesting. I said we should hang out again and she said sure.

I'm thinking allure was right when he said i made a mistake saying "do you want to come home with me." Cuz now she knows I want to sleep with her and knows she has the upper hand and can play games with me.

Do you guys still think I am good shape after this.

 

[YoungSir4sho]

U was doing good until she said if u was lovin her. N u said yea. Wheneva a girl says that laugh it off n say no but I kno u r. Then she will laugh,giggle or say no she doesn't den keep play fightin wit her.

Also u shouldn't have mentioned bout last week that she was into kissin u,etc. Don't ever do that.

It was good that u had common sense once she was lyin to u bout her tv,ps3,etc bein broke to make a move. Keep it up n don't mention past stuff wit her.