Got a lame excuse when I asked her out...

[KG33]

Yeah, so when I asked her out for this Sunday she said that she was planning on working on a paper for class that day, which of course, was a really lame excuse. Usually I would just next a girl that did this and move on but after she gave me her excuse she did somthing wierd.

After hearing her excuse, I said okay, that's fine, I guess I'll talk to you later then. When I said this though, she hesitated and said "well, I might be able to get some of it done tonight and maybe I can call you and let you know". Then she acted like she didn't want to get off the phone.

Now I have been around a few times so I know that girls like to let guys down nicely by giving them hope sometimes after they reject them but this was different. She actually seemed a little disappointed that I didn't try a little harder.

As a result, I think one of three things happened.
1. Complete rejection. = The end!!!

2. She might have some other plans which might fall through so she's trying to keep me dangling. = Next/the end!!!

3. This girl likes to be in control and with me she has no control because I don't put up with her crap or kiss her ass. As a result, I think it is frustrating her and she might be trying to play a game to get it back.

By the way, this girl has definately showed some pretty high interest level.

Opinions are welcome.

 

[Kailex]

Make plans for Sunday with someone else.
Do something other than leaving your day open for her. Even if she does finish the paper, you turn her down and give her a counter-offer.

Like you said, you don't put up with her BS.

As soon as she saw the "I guess I will talk to you later"... she saw that she was losing power over the situation. Her telling you that she could finish the paper up sooner and MAYBE call you is a way of keeping you around, just in case she ever wants to dig into her bag of orbiters.

And the fact that she shows high IL means nothing if she's not willing to place you first on her list of plans. It means absolutely nothing. If she was that high IL, she would have immediately said YES.

Because, come on, who works on a paper ALL day. And I hope you really cut that phone call short.

 

[MeteorMash]

Is there really something wrong with working on a paper instead of hanging out with you? Just because a chick likes you does not mean you are the center of her universe. My own gf has blown me off billions of times to get homework done (which was worth 50%+ of her grade) a I fully supported her

I dont see when anything short of a "hell yes" is seen as an excuse, but it's not always the case. You have to remember that chicks have lives too. Even a High interest chick isn't always going to be willing to drop the world just to mess around with a guy she likes.

I don't care how hot a chick is, if I have work I have to finish then she comes last. I would hope a stable minded woman would feel the same way. Her grade is more important to her than a quick flirt.

Just like you did, I would have said ok, maybe some other time. Don't be mad about it. She sounds like she's half interested because she did offer a counter offer atleast. So just roll with it and make plans if you can. If not then forget it. Getting upset comes off as clingy and sensitive, and could end up annoying her because she feels like she has to hang out with you every time or else.

Don't get all mad. You should have stuff you're doing yourself.

You sound like you did fine. But just dont over think things

 

[Tkman]

Give her less attention and don't react to her B.S (like she doesn't really matter), that would make you standout.

 

[bish0p]

I agree with Meteor. When I first started dating my last LTR, the first night I asked her to hang out, she said maybe because she was already hanging out with someone, and honestly, I didn't a give a rat's ass. I can't remember what I said, but it was something simple like, "okay."

I ended up sleeping with her that night. Even more, this has happened on more than one occasion.

When you first start dating a woman, she's most likely not going to start off very strong by making you her number 1 priority (actually, I'm a little bit weary of girls who do start off strong like that, especially the girl I'm talking to now).

That's the importance of having other women to date, but more importantly, having the attitude of not needing women.

 

[Ease]

"well, I might be able to get some of it done tonight and maybe I can call you and let you know"

This is a frame grab.

At this point i would say 'nah its ok, il talk to you later, later alligator'

Then after a week of no contact, if she is still an option, i would try again.

'yo lets go get a hot dog'

 

[nismo-4]

Make plans for Sunday with someone else.
Do something other than leaving your day open for her. Even if she does finish the paper, you turn her down and give her a counter-offer.

Like you said, you don't put up with her BS.

As soon as she saw the "I guess I will talk to you later"... she saw that she was losing power over the situation. Her telling you that she could finish the paper up sooner and MAYBE call you is a way of keeping you around, just in case she ever wants to dig into her bag of orbiters.

And the fact that she shows high IL means nothing if she's not willing to place you first on her list of plans. It means absolutely nothing. If she was that high IL, she would have immediately said YES.

Because, come on, who works on a paper ALL day. And I hope you really cut that phone call short.

OP, Listen to your Uncle Kailex!

Maybe is a polite way of saying no. Don't linger around this girl. If you're spinning more plates, you wouldn't be worried. You're geting false hope IMO. I'd move on to someone else.

Case closed.

 

[KG33]

Thanks for the advice everyone; it was really helpful.

Yeah, I got off the phone right after she said that. Also, if she calls now and says she can do somethiing Sunday, I think I'm going to tell her I already made plans and I will get back to her. Actually, the only reason I asked her to go out Sunday is because I already have a date Fri and Sat night so I've definateley got some "plates spinning".

Ultimately, I think this was an attempt on her part to feel like she was in control but if I'm wrong, oh well.

 

[Tkman]

Thanks for the advice everyone; it was really helpful.

Yeah, I got off the phone right after she said that. Also, if she calls now and says she can do somethiing Sunday, I think I'm going to tell her I already made plans and I will get back to her.

Let her know your busy but don't tell her your plans, that would drive her chasing you.