good looks bad thing?

[someperson1987]

Hi there,

I have one question about looks. In general, ive had a fair number of girls i found out that had a crush on me, so its fair to say that while im not a supermodel i'm fairly good looking. However, the thing i seem to notice is when a friend of mine who is clearly much worse looking (to an undebateable point), he would get better results than i would doing the exact same thing (e.g. he can seem to get much better conversations while the girls usually acts cold and even "uninterested"). My past girlfriends were both the one to ask me out so I am not imagining thing when it comes to looks.

Thx for any replies

If you need me to clarify something feel free to ask

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Yes, it is horrible to be good looking. Only ugly guys get any action.

 

[Gipper]

All right, I'm postponing going to bed to respond to this. I'm assuming you're new here, so I'll be gentle.

Your looks alone will not get you hooked up with girls. At least not on a consistant basis.

Read those last sentences again. For that matter, read your own post again. Your friend, who is far less "attractive" than you, pulls more chicks than you. Why do you suppose that is?

Because chicks are not nearly as visually stimulated as guys. Chicks react to different stimuli. Read the DJ Bible in detail and try to learn from it.

Waiting on chicks to approach you is the lamest, most AFC thing you can hope for. You must be the approacher and the chooser.

I'm going to bed now.

Gipper

 

[Gipper]

Help me Giovanni, I'm losing hope here...

Sleepy Gipper

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Originally posted by Gipper
Help me Giovanni, I'm losing hope here...

Sleepy Gipper

Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.

 

[someperson1987]

Thx Gipper you're right

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Let me explain a concept called "Garbage In/Garbage Out". The concept itself is pretty simple. It's basically the sense that in life and in relationships, you get what you put into it.

If you are good looking, good for you! You won the ten dollar instant scratch-off lottery ticket of life. Now what will that get you?

If all you have are good looks and nothing else, you will get a girl who likes good looks and nothing else. It's funny how the universe works that way. The problem with this scenario is that "girl who likes good looks and nothing else" is code for "shallow b*tch". In other words, if you put garbage (or nothing) in, you'll get garbage (or nothing) out.

So you develop your personality, too. Maybe start to read interesting books, play a sport, travel a lot. Who knows, right? But then you start to attract other kinds of girls. You'll still attract the girls who like good looks and nothing else. But you'll also attract the girls who like well-read guys, or athletic guys, or well-travelled guys. Or girls who are a combination. Suddenly, you're getting better quality girls in addition to the shallow b*tches.

Now, less attractive guys don't attract the shallow b*tches. That upsets some less attractive guys, because a lot of times the shallow b*tches can be fine as hell. Being less attractive means that you have to be more proactive in the game of attraction. You can't be passive. You HAVE to have more than your looks.

Once a less attractive guy has developed a good sense of humor, or a musical talent, or mountain climbing skills, or whatever, he can attract girls who are attracted to these qualities. The less attractive guy has the benefit of knowing that the girl is more likely to be attracted to who he is rather than how he looks, so that can be an advantage.

But the lesson to be learned is that whether a guy is attractive or not attractive, he has to BE SOMETHING in order to attract the quality women. The guy who only has his looks and nothing else going for him has no advantage over the less attractive guy when it comes to decent women.

 

[ScrewIt]

Giovannie made a great point.

but dont forget that good looks can also be intimidating. probably many of your encounters with girls made you think they were cold to you or disinterested is probably due to the fact they are aloof because theyre nervous around your intimidating looks.

anyways there's a whole thread about good looks backfiring on people in the Archives section of the forums. read about it.

 

[Giovanni Casanova]

Originally posted by Gipper
Sleepy Gipper

By the way, Gipper.... nice to see you back 'round these parts.

 

[Jariel]

Good looks are never a bad thing. Good looking people make friends easier and generally find success in life easier. People react positively to good looking people unless they have reason not to.

Whether someone is resentful or intimidated by your looks is all about your attitude and whether you make them feel inferior. I am a decent looking guy and attractive women speak to me respectfully. Yet I notice that these same women talk to less attractive guys like they're scum, if they talk to them at all. So the ugly guys think these women are b1tches. If they spoke to the ugly guys like they speak to me, they would be a lot more popular.

As for your less good looking friend seeing more action. Maybe it's because he makes more of an effort or has more charisma. Maybe he is less concerned about being rejected and his confidence shows.

Something else worth considering. When women see a good looking guy, many will start imagining positive qualities in him and start mentally creating their ideal man. Women don't do that with ugly guys.

 

[Dukester]

ok, you're complaining cuz you look good. wtf. use those good looks to your advantage.
all the girls say your cute, hot, sexy w/e (or so you say). well the fvcking approach them, and have an intelligent convo, hook up, have a 1 nite stand or w/e u want.

you and your ugly friend are 2 totally diff people in 1 way. he has balls, you dont.
get the confidence to go up to that chick, she'll be intimidated by your good looks, but again, use it to your advantage.

i've been rated around an 8 by a lot of girls, and i'm still C&F, so maybe you wanna use that. but if you press the ****y part too much, you come off as arrogant and gloatful.

So do whatcha can, and do it right- w/ confidence!
Best of luck...

 

[squirrels]

If you are good-looking, it actually RAISES the bar for you.

Women may be intimidated by you so they choose to go after your (uglier) friend because he's "in their range". So you have two choices:

1) Go after the hotter girls, the ones who will look at you as "just another guy" and wow the with your charm and personality.

2) REALLY up the charisma and assertiveness with the lesser girls...show them that you're on their level despite your good looks.

Either way, it involves YOU taking action and expressing yourself. No one likes a good-looking guy who is sulky or standoffish.

 

[Fatality]

I think the only thing bad about being really good looking is women will expect more from you. They expect you to act cooler and more confident and to know what you are doing in bed. If their expectations are really high that could set them up for disappointment.

 

[ScrewIt]

Originally posted by Jariel

Something else worth considering. When women see a good looking guy, many will start imagining positive qualities in him and start mentally creating their ideal man. Women don't do that with ugly guys.

True

Originally posted by Fatality
I think the only thing bad about being really good looking is women will expect more from you. They expect you to act cooler and more confident and to know what you are doing in bed. If their expectations are really high that could set them up for disapointment.

Very True also.
I'm a fairly good looking guy. but most of my experiences with some people i meet is they give me this "look of fascination"
Theyre always wanting to hear what i've been up to...and they think i have a very interesting life, which isnt all that great.

But it is true, that when people see you, they immediately build up a high expectation or standard of you, especially believing that you're a successful person (rich), or will be one day.
e.g.: one time a co-worker assumed i was running my own business, separate from attending college and doing part-time.

But one i thing i have to say is that most girls will immediately think you're a player when they see you, guys alike also.
Which can be a good thing because they might feel you're hard to get.

 

[A-Unit]

Single Serving Friend.

Labeling people by classification of looks and assumable traits makes the attraction process easier for women. If you fit a certain 'type', then they can label you and make assumptive approaches.

We all get it here. The music people might be assumed to not be quite so savy with business or make much money. The business-type people might get pegged as people who make lots of dough, but aren't very knowledgable about much else.

Bottom line, don't fit the stereotype. That up's your game right there. If you're in business, cross over into the arts, learn some unqiue facets to life to broaden your qualities. I find when I'm too into business 'stuff' I'm more bland, cut throat, logical, quick to the point. You miss the other side of the world, the expressions, the words, the colors, the sensations.

As far as looks go, I'm getting sick of the lame conversation. JUST MAXIMIZE YOUR LOOKS TO THE FULLEST AND YOU'LL FEEL GOOD NO MATTER WHAT.

Take personal responsibility to counter the issue head on. Rather than debate whether they matter, personally feel they matter TO YOU, eat right, lift, and quit smoking, and present yourself well. That way, when you're banging, or approaching, or etc, the issue won't be you're a snob, or you lift for women, you lift for you, whatever your reason might be that day.

I've known quite a few hot people who were boring and I'd rather spend time with a concrete block than them. And I've known alot of great and beautiful people. Looks are only the outside layer to what lies beneath. From an evolutionary standpoint, it kick starts the hormones so we mate with another person, but it doesn't serve much more beyond that.




A-Unit

 

[Alpine]

There's a guy I know who'll mess your face up pretty bad if you want.

There's nothing worse than being cursed with good looks.

 

[david90]

I can't imagine complaining but I guess to understand I would have to be in ur shoe.

 

[someperson1987]

lol "complaining" isnt really the right word. Anyways, the issue is usually this:

1) Whenever i approach someone, i always seem to get bad signals (e.g. acts all aloof and never laughs at any joke etc)

2) However, later (and this has happened many times) i find out the girls had a crush on me


so i dunno, what going on here (I'm a bit shy so approaching can be kinda hard sometimes)

 

[smoke city]

You seem young. Younger girls are more forgiving of weaknesses in personality than the older ones, who know what it's like to be with a boring ass.
Regardless, here's the most likely scenario. They did have a crush on you, but when you approached them your jokes weren't funny (so they didn't laugh!), you weren't engaging or interesting to them, so they decided they didn't like you. It happens.
A lot.
Your ugly friend gets more women because he has more game than you. period.
You seem like a nice guy--if you do things to work on yourself, then you'll definitely have success in the future