Good looking guy, but my personality putting off women?

[The_Crack]

Hey Guys,
I've been a long time player of the game. I've never really indulged myself 100% into it but i've used alot of what pick up has to offer and incorporated it into my interactions with women.
I'd like to think i am a decent looking guy. Not being arrogant but i get checked out a bit and it always surprises me when i catch 9's or 10's having a good old perv . i've got this boyish bad boy, naughty, trouble maker look about me that girls love apparently and i have a good sense of fashion. A few girls have admitted to me looking naughty being very attractive. I get a lot of attraction based of my look alone, and girls are open to conversation with me. I always catch eye contact. I have a different hair cut so i get noticed EVERYWHERE i go. But then again, i have been called ugly by a few haha
I've gotten with a lot of women i reckon primarily based off my looks, mixed with a bit of conversation. But the thing is, nothing ever happens after the initial pickup.
i can't count or even remember the amount of girls i have hooked up with in the past 2 years but i can count the number of girls on one hand with whom i've actually hung out with after and had a good time with and hooked up AGAIN with.

I've been starting to question my personality as a cause of it and it not being congruent with the image i portray. I'll give you guys a critical breakthrough of me as i can, I am a fairly outgoing guy and am really humorous.I really enjoy making people laugh no matter the cost so sometimes i make myself look like a clown to do so. I make conversations a little sexual (maybe borderline sleazy?) and always speak my mind, no matter what it is about or how weird or creepy the thought is. I guess some girls don't appreciate this? i don't know. I think i may be to funny during conversations and i end up losing attraction?
I'm really starting to feel down about myself, and it really sucks!
I don't want to change who i am, but i would like to better tailor myself to become more attractive!

It doesn't help that i meet a majority of my women when they are out partying so most likely under the influence to an extent. But about 6 in 10 respond to texts but it fizzles out soon.

I'm so sorry this post has been so long, but i would really really appreciate some input on my problem! I'm sure a few other guys are facing a similar dilemma.
Thanks alot guys, again sorry for the long post!

 

[youngmack]

I have the same problem

 

[FairShake]

Push and pull. Yin and yang. Black and white.

If you're funny ALL THE TIME you probably can come across as annoying, goofy, or weird. There's a time and place for that. I am weird and goofy but I take it down a notch with people I don't know all that well or people who won't get it.

Be a little nicer, listen to them a little more, have more "boring" conversations. It makes the funny part all that funnier and your weirdness more digestable.

 

[DavenJuan]

Brother, alot of guys have this dilemna... dont beat yourself up about it too much. you are making AWARE of the issue, which is the first step to fixing it.

Start taking notice on where/when/why...HOW you are meeting these women. Its a strong indication of the problem if most of these women are drunk and intoxicated. even when sober, meeting women soley at bars / nightclubs doesnt help with trying to maintain some sort of connection.

ask yourself HOW you are selling yourself? are you promoting an image that says ONE NIGHT STAND, or are you demonstrating a much stronger value that keeps things interesting.

you said yourself that conversations tend to be more on the sleazy side. maybe broaden your horizons and challenge yourself by having different types of conversations.

 

[MisterD]

You just need to find a balance. I'm funny a lot of the time but I know when to pull back. If you're too funny then trying to be romantic/sexual seems weird. You need to balance humor, sexual escalation, and interesting topics.

Whatever it is, make sure it's always pleasant. Condition her to think that anytime she talks to you/hangs with you is a good time. This includes staying away from controversial topics you're not sure how she feels about, avoid typical boring "how was work/school today" topics, avoid complaining or talking about problems/anything negative.

Everytime you talk/meet she should be feeling nothing but joy/happiness. You do that long enough she will link happiness/positive energy to you.

 

[youngmack]

You just need to find a balance. I'm funny a lot of the time but I know when to pull back. If you're too funny then trying to be romantic/sexual seems weird. You need to balance humor, sexual escalation, and interesting topics.

Whatever it is, make sure it's always pleasant. Condition her to think that anytime she talks to you/hangs with you is a good time. This includes staying away from controversial topics you're not sure how she feels about, avoid typical boring "how was work/school today" topics, avoid complaining or talking about problems/anything negative.

Everytime you talk/meet she should be feeling nothing but joy/happiness. You do that long enough she will link happiness/positive energy to you.

But how do you make her feel this "joy and happiness"? i think that im a boring person overall because when im having conversations ..i never know what to say next regardless if im talking to a boy or a girl... basically im a bad converser and idk how to become better which is sad because im only 16

 

[MisterD]

But how do you make her feel this "joy and happiness"? i think that im a boring person overall because when im having conversations ..i never know what to say next regardless if im talking to a boy or a girl... basically im a bad converser and idk how to become better which is sad because im only 16

find out what her dreams/fantasies are and play to that. come across as the man that can provide her said dreams. be different. be bold. only bring up good thoughts. ex: if you had a bad day don't get all emotional and tell her how ****ty your day was. if you're mad or in a bad mood, don't show her that side of you, make her think nothing phases you, you're always cool and level headed. drama free. all you provide her is good times.

 

[Jariel]

I had a VERY similar issue the past 2 years. I'm a good looking guy, did some modelling in the past and am frequently hit on by women. Around 95% of my dates started off well and they were physically attracted to me, full of compliments, eager to have sex, but then without explanation they'd lose interest.

I've lost count of the women I dated during this time, but I barely made it past 3 dates with any of them...most of the time not even past 1 date or hook up.

Eventually I met a woman who was really cool and when I asked her why she rejected me, she told me. To get to the point, it was all down to my poor composure, which gave off the (false) vibe that I was nervous or lacked confidence. As we know, confidence is a MAJOR make or break factor with women and it turned out it was enough to rule me out as long term dating/boyfriend material.

I have since worked on improving my composure - slowing down, strong eye contact and moving with purpose and focus. Since doing this I haven't been rejected once and I'm finding more women throwing themselves at me.

It may not be the same for you, but maybe you could ask one of these chicks to tell you the reason and prompt her to be honest.

 

[The_Crack]

Sorry guys i have been away.
But dam this thread has been incredibly helpful!! THanks alot guys

Jariel, i think i may have the same problem as you. I do have a nervous energy when around attractive women and i do some of the same things you do, talk fast, look around to much, soft voice. I'm going to have to fix up on that! i'll ask some of my other girls as well about what i did wrong.
Thanks man!

 

[ilikecharlene]

There is no objectively good or required personality.

It's the girls you go after, they don't appreciate a clown/jokey personality.

 

[The_Crack]

There is no objectively good or required personality.

It's the girls you go after, they don't appreciate a clown/jokey personality.

i want to attract the women i want. I don't mind tweaking myself up a little to get my type

 

[SqueezieToy]

If you're a naughty bad-boy, and you make sexual remarks to tipsy women you've met in bars, and they like you because you look good and naughty, and then you score with them, then that's all you are~ a naughty bad-boy who is good for a screw or two. NSA sex. We all like it, but we're not gonna bring you home to meet the family.
Take my advice: Find a club of some sort, like on Meet-up.com where you're doing an activity in a group~not DRINKING~ but climbing, hiking, soccer, kayaking...anything physical...go to the events, meet people, go to the events, meet people, be yourself, the naughty bad-boy, but out of a drinking 'one night stand' environment. Continue doing the events on actual dates with the healthy hot women you meet there, and you'll be fine. Women love funny guys, women love alpha-type males, but we aren't going to have a LTR with the hottie we screwed after meeting them in a bar.