Good friend of mine was a very introverted Don Juan. is this rare?

[MascaraSnake]

He was a Brazilian - we'll call him T.

he didn't have the cliched bronzed physique and was a little doughy, but women absolutely LOVED him, and he was the kind of guy who you wanted around you, since he was extremely friendly.

He was "friends" with half of the sexy girls over at my workplace, and a couple of the supervisors asked him out. (He turned them both down, and they both liked him even more as a result.)

The odd thing - he never went out drinking or clubbing, and admitted to me on a walk home one night that he had very few friends and didn't even have a Facebook. I was mystified - almost every guy I know who's rolling in girls like him is out meeting people *constantly*, and has a very tight social circle.

(I ask because of this - I've always been the kind of guy who wants to spend at least one day a week alone. Meeting people rules, but I feel drained by it. Due to my social circle, I go out quite a bit, but I'm always feeling like I'm forcing myself to go along with the crowd and not be myself.)

Do guys like T come along once in a blue moon? Or is there really a set way to make this "introverted Don Juan" stuff work?

 

[Harry Wilmington]

This is pretty much how I operate, so it's not all that uncommon. Despite the fact that I (a) work at home, (b) prefer to stay in, and (c) don't really try hard to reach outside my main circle of friends, I've managed to meet hot chicks, befriend models, and have hook-ups with girls in my moments of extrovertism. I have found that as long as a guy is comfortable with who he is, be it introvert or extrovert, but also knows what to say, how to treat a woman and how to make her FEEL the right way, he can score with women. Those that have been on these boards long enough can attest that I don't do random cold approaches, or try to make myself the life of the parties I go to, yet I'm still able to connect with women on a real and/or emotional level. At the end of the day, that's all that really matters is how you make them feel - all the other stuff can HELP, but it ends up making it more YOU focused instead of THEM focused. Hope this helps!

 

[bdymstr]

I concur, Harry. I am also a person who is an introvert, one who speaks very rarely, but yet when I interact with females, I give off this vibe of positivity that defies even me. I guess that's why I picked jobs that generate a lot of female response...(personal trainer, massage therapist, photographer...). Thank you gentlemen. It's good to know I'm not alone.....

 

[Skyline]

Yeah I'm actually considered to be introverted. I remember trying what you explained Harry, about being the life of the party and speaking out every second, it wasn't really my thing but it did help me develop my own style because of it. I'm mainly quiet most of the time unless I have to speak, but the times I speak, it's either a smartass statement/comment or something funny and random- all in good fun of course. And yes the times that I am extroverted, which is about 70% of the time, no one ever guesses that I'm actually an introvert. This works wonders with the ladies as well. And events the require social interaction I can easily adapt because of my high self-esteem.

Confidence!

 

[zekko]

he was the kind of guy who you wanted around you, since he was extremely friendly.

He was "friends" with half of the sexy girls over at my workplace

This makes me think maybe he isn't quite as introverted as you think he is. Not that introverted people can't be friendly.

 

[Tictac]

How you connect with women is what's important.

One-on-one with women, many men, me included, are much like your friend.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

more uncommon than not

The reason why is because the less you speak, the more charismatic you are because the more people will listen. Think about it, are you gonna listen to the blabber mouth who talks more than he eat and sleeps or are you gonna listen to the dude who barely says anything at all, but when he does, it is like the most wise and chill thing ever?

At the end of the day, that's all that really matters is how you make them feel - all the other stuff can HELP, but it ends up making it more YOU focused instead of THEM focused. Hope this helps!

It should be 'you' focused though. Just without an ego because you are the prize. And when you try and make them feel better, you can become an AFC. Unless you are doing a more speed seduction type tactic, then the focus should be respectfully on yourself. Because it means that the only way a girl can get your attention is by meeting your standards otherwise, and thus the game of cat and mouse shall ensue.

But yeah, OP it can be better to be an introverted Don Juan rather than extroverted because you are more influential in that sense. People will talk about you and everyone will think that you are some crazy bad@ss and whatnot when in reality, you are just a super chill dude who likes to have fun, yet is serious when need be. You will blow everyone's mind away after being the complete opposite of their expectations to which people don't know what to think unless they are really close to you. But you are more introverted remember? You leave a mystery about you.