Good dates but contact decreasing

MrEkko

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One could go nuts trying to figure out why women do what they do. So long as YOU are having fun and enjoying time with her and are sleeping with her, I would simply fall back to initiating contact once or twice a week and setting a date, then watching her actions on the date. I wouldn't wait for her to make a move. It's up to you to lead. But you only do that while she is following. If she stops following (responding to your 1x-2x per week texts, won't agree to a date, or date isn't fun or sex stops), then you stop initiating contact and wait for her to reach out - if and when she does, you assume she is reaching out because she wants to see you (even if she doesn't overtly indicate that) so you use the opportunity to set a date. Operating in this way is not being needy.

Your statement about seeing potential for something more could be an issue, as others have said. If you are directly communicating this to her, that will be seen as needy. If you are even *thinking* it, most women will be able to feel this - they are experts at reading that kind of thing. You need to live in the moment, enjoy her company, but be busy and see other women so that you aren't pursuing a relationship with her and she knows you have options. Typically only then will a woman pursue and drive toward a relationship, and you have to let her do this, and when she does, you can't jump on it. A high value man will not jump on a girl who is trying to lock him down because he has other options he is evaluating.
I agree with almost everything, I was thinking of exactly the same approach on your first paragraph.

However - and I know almost everyone here will disagree on this - I don’t see how it is needy to tell a woman that you like spending time with her, getting to know her etc after a few dates (not just 2 or 3). I’m not talking making life plans with her or anything, but I’m mature enough to know what I want and when I want it and I don’t like playing games in these situations. I believe when she likes you the same a bit of honesty wouldn’t hurt.
 

flowtheory

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I agree with almost everything, I was thinking of exactly the same approach on your first paragraph.

However - and I know almost everyone here will disagree on this - I don’t see how it is needy to tell a woman that you like spending time with her, getting to know her etc after a few dates (not just 2 or 3). I’m not talking making life plans with her or anything, but I’m mature enough to know what I want and when I want it and I don’t like playing games in these situations. I believe when she likes you the same a bit of honesty wouldn’t hurt.
Honesty is good and women appreciate it. But words don’t mean as much to women. Sure they might like it at the beginning to affirm their ego, but it has a poor effect in terms of ATTRACTION.
From my experience women are much more attracted to me when they don’t know what’s going on in my mind and I’m not spilling my feelings, even if just a little.

It’s the same as when I don’t know what’s going on in my girls head and she’s not being super vulnerable in terms of her stance towards me. The more she does that, the more I crave it and it makes her more attractive to me. As opposed to a woman who is always validating how she feels about me, I’m not as attracted. In relationships, both people desire to seek the others validation; it’s natural because their our top choice. This isn’t to say you’re living for their approval though.
It’s what keeps us coming back; but if you’re always being validated, it becomes easy and in turn we become bored, as it’s now predictable.
If you’re never being accepted or validated, attraction gets lost because that’s not fun. And relationships should be fun.

Women like to wonder about a man. So this is why it’s benefical to remain mysterious. Show her how much you care and desire her through your actions. But remain balanced in your physical affections and know your value.
 
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RickTheToad

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I agree with almost everything, I was thinking of exactly the same approach on your first paragraph.

However - and I know almost everyone here will disagree on this - I don’t see how it is needy to tell a woman that you like spending time with her, getting to know her etc after a few dates (not just 2 or 3). I’m not talking making life plans with her or anything, but I’m mature enough to know what I want and when I want it and I don’t like playing games in these situations. I believe when she likes you the same a bit of honesty wouldn’t hurt.

It's a fine line dude. You can go for broke and just say hey I'd love to see you this weekend and see what happens. Wait a week before your last connect and then call her since the text you never heard from. It will show you are bold and don't give a fvck what anyone thinks.
 

oldmanofthesea

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However - and I know almost everyone here will disagree on this - I don’t see how it is needy to tell a woman that you like spending time with her, getting to know her etc after a few dates (not just 2 or 3). I’m not talking making life plans with her or anything, but I’m mature enough to know what I want and when I want it and I don’t like playing games in these situations. I believe when she likes you the same a bit of honesty wouldn’t hurt.
I used to feel the same way. But as I continue honing my game and continue having experiences, I've learned the bitter truth which is that whether you WANT to play a game or not, you are playing one and have no choice. It is simply part of the human experience. If there was a girl you were still unsure about and she started telling you how crazy into you she was, would it not drive you away or lessen your attraction? The same goes the other way.

The second bitter truth I have learned is that women are not men - they do not need or want the same exact things as men and they do not think like men. Women have a desire to chase a man they want. This is just evolution. Women want to mate with the most attractive/successful/strong man they can in order to ensure the success of their offspring. How does a woman know when she's reached that point? By finding someone she views as very attractive, and then assessing his interest. If his interest is lower than hers, it serves as added validation for her assessment of his sexual market value. The idea is that the woman has reached so high that she was just BARELY able to hook this guy, now she wants to lock him down, and she now feels he is a prize she was just barely able to capture. A high value guy is going to have so many options with so many attractive women that he is not going to be interested in locking things down with anyone, and if he reluctantly does, he will only choose the most attractive high-value female he can find. This is why it's a bad idea to say you really enjoy spending time or anything like that which overtly communicates a driving desire to press toward a relationship. It has to be HER idea. Besides, she will know you like her through your actions - the time you spend with her and the energy exchanged between the two of you during this time. You don't have to say it with words.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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Women are great actresses... you think the date went well because she was ACTING. The only way to know for sure is if she meets you again, since she won't you have your answer.

I have A LOT more first dates that go nowhere then one's that end with a connection. I also have lots of women that things went well for awhile, then suddenly NOTHING. It ALL starts with the chick... if she doesn't like you or stops liking you, or she thinks she has a better option, NOTHING happens. If at some point she loses interest, then it is OVER.

Do not believe it is anything you actual do or don't do. If she doesn't like you, NOTHING you do or fail to do will matter, PERIOD.

Your behavior is only a factor if she already likes you, if she likes you then you can chase her off with weak behavior, but acting like a man will not help you if there is no chemistry. Do not believe all the PUA bvllsh!t that is out there. Work on yourself because that will increase the number of chicks that will be attracted to you.... then it's a numbers game, you date lots of women and filter out the ones that are not interested.
+1

Much of what is red pill, pua, DJ is delusional. Watch youtube of guys sitting on nice cars. YouTube of dan bilizarin who according to Coach red pill is a fraudin trust fund baby. The women in vids or social media are *****s. He paid them.

This is the sheeple society we live in. Women muck this crap and but in. Dudes are emulating frauds. There's a abundance of bull**** and its not surprising how much victimhood populates the perspective of the majority.

There's aspects of pua, red pill, DJ that are the gold standards. The truth is out there. You figure it out with life experience.

Op, women are tge greatest actors. If my net worth was millionaire or billionaire, there's no comparison to the game. And yet, wackkk game will lead to cuckoldry and divorce rape.

Op, i lead. She follows or next /thread

Low sex drive, LMR, low libido, etc means #next! Her lack of initiated is portrayal of decline in interest. The biggest problem is that you don't have options. Spin plates.

Hotter girls are turning 18 19 20 21.
 

Never try to read a woman's mind. It is a scary place. Ignore her confusing signals and mixed messages. Assume she is interested in you and act accordingly.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Robert28

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I used to feel the same way. But as I continue honing my game and continue having experiences, I've learned the bitter truth which is that whether you WANT to play a game or not, you are playing one and have no choice. It is simply part of the human experience. If there was a girl you were still unsure about and she started telling you how crazy into you she was, would it not drive you away or lessen your attraction? The same goes the other way.

The second bitter truth I have learned is that women are not men - they do not need or want the same exact things as men and they do not think like men. Women have a desire to chase a man they want. This is just evolution. Women want to mate with the most attractive/successful/strong man they can in order to ensure the success of their offspring. How does a woman know when she's reached that point? By finding someone she views as very attractive, and then assessing his interest. If his interest is lower than hers, it serves as added validation for her assessment of his sexual market value. The idea is that the woman has reached so high that she was just BARELY able to hook this guy, now she wants to lock him down, and she now feels he is a prize she was just barely able to capture. A high value guy is going to have so many options with so many attractive women that he is not going to be interested in locking things down with anyone, and if he reluctantly does, he will only choose the most attractive high-value female he can find. This is why it's a bad idea to say you really enjoy spending time or anything like that which overtly communicates a driving desire to press toward a relationship. It has to be HER idea. Besides, she will know you like her through your actions - the time you spend with her and the energy exchanged between the two of you during this time. You don't have to say it with words.
If women were getting knocked up by the top guys we wouldn’t have so many ugly, stupid kids running around. Just because women THINK a guy is high value doesn’t mean he really is or that the rest of the world sees him as a loser. I know tons of women toting around kids from losers that have **** jobs or are on drugs or don’t habe anything going for them. Just because a woman selects you doesn’t mean you’re high value, most women date **** men.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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I agree with almost everything, I was thinking of exactly the same approach on your first paragraph.

However - and I know almost everyone here will disagree on this - I don’t see how it is needy to tell a woman that you like spending time with her , getting to know her etc after a few dates (not just 2 or 3). I’m not talking making life plans with her or anything, but I’m mature enough to know what I want and when I want it and I don’t like playing games in these situations. I believe when she likes you the same a bit of honesty wouldn’t hurt.
You dont get it because you are beya as ****kkk and you suck at game.

If i am with a woman, I don't need to be "communicating " like a phaghot about liking her, spending time with her or anything else that reeks of low testosterone.

Why?

ITS SELF EVIDENT.

Do i need to say, i startee a biz to make money? I traveled the eorld because I wanted to see XYZ?

What part of options don't you get?

Which part of dread don't you understand?

What don't you get about hotter girls turning 18 19 20 21 every day?

Act accordingly.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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Just because a woman selects you doesn’t mean you’re high value, most women date **** men.
Agreed. Ironically enough, the forum here and elsewhere are classic examples of guys who just don't pull.

Most aren't willing to go through the fire.

A lot of women **** losers. Crater best years as booty call.

And some dj will preach about how they found some special girl lulz

The red pill will preach about how they hacked marriage despute being cucked by their wife.

There's no getting past the debauchery and decay of western society. Embrace the decline. Pillage what you can.
 

oldmanofthesea

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If women were getting knocked up by the top guys we wouldn’t have so many ugly, stupid kids running around. Just because women THINK a guy is high value doesn’t mean he really is or that the rest of the world sees him as a loser. I know tons of women toting around kids from losers that have **** jobs or are on drugs or don’t habe anything going for them. Just because a woman selects you doesn’t mean you’re high value, most women date **** men.
A man with high SMV can have no job, been to prison, have a trail of children with multiple women who he doesn't support or see, drug addict, etc. High SMV is not a judgement of a man's worth or his value to society, it refers only to how many women want to sleep with him, and how attractive these women are. And while SMV is averaged across the general population, if you want to sleep with or get into a relationship with a specific woman, what matters is her assessment of your SMV (and to some degree how her friends assess you as well).
 

MrEkko

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Update - Texted yesterday (after a few days) to see what's happening, suggested a date and she said that she's got a very busy week so would have to be the next one. I'm really struggling to think where this went south - all dates have been very fun, she introduced me to her friends, communication was great. I just find it hard to believe that this happened because of the continuous texting, to a point that I'm inclined to ask her what's wrong for the sake of it (I obviously won't).

P.S. I am spinning a few plates atm anyway so that's not a problem at all, I just found myself liking her a lot and seeing potential which is why this really sucks.
 

It doesn't matter how good-looking you are, how romantic you are, how funny you are... or anything else. If she doesn't have something INVESTED in you and the relationship, preferably quite a LOT invested, she'll dump you, without even the slightest hesitation, as soon as someone a little more "interesting" comes along.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Robert28

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Update - Texted yesterday (after a few days) to see what's happening, suggested a date and she said that she's got a very busy week so would have to be the next one. I'm really struggling to think where this went south - all dates have been very fun, she introduced me to her friends, communication was great. I just find it hard to believe that this happened because of the continuous texting, to a point that I'm inclined to ask her what's wrong for the sake of it (I obviously won't).

P.S. I am spinning a few plates atm anyway so that's not a problem at all, I just found myself liking her a lot and seeing potential which is why this really sucks.
Let me ask you this, will she answer the phone if you call or or will she return your calls or is she ONLY communicating through text?
 

17 shots

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It's either she wants you to initiate more, or she's got other things going on and it's out of your control
 

MrEkko

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Let me ask you this, will she answer the phone if you call or or will she return your calls or is she ONLY communicating through text?
We must have spoken once or twice on the phone and that was to get in touch when we were meeting so I have no idea. The only forms of communication has been texting.
 

MrEkko

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It's either she wants you to initiate more, or she's got other things going on and it's out of your control
Obviously I'm going nc until next week now or even let it die out if she doesn't initiate so we won't know if that's the case.
 

Robert28

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It's either she wants you to initiate more, or she's got other things going on and it's out of your control
It’s neither. I was in the same situation he is in. Only difference is I could never get her to come to my house and I only met her mom once (by accident) and one friend who was her roommate. I tried to get her to give me an answer about what was going on which was a stupid move but it was driving me crazy. She’d cancel dates, but yet when we talked via text she acted normal until oneday she was acting cold as hell and said she was going through a lot and wasn’t in a good place mentally. I said “I understand, well when you get in a place where you’d like to hangout again just let me know”. Never heard from her again. Oh and she’d talk through text but wouldn’t answer or return my calls. Weird.
 

Robert28

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We must have spoken once or twice on the phone and that was to get in touch when we were meeting so I have no idea. The only forms of communication has been texting.
Yep!!! I swear to God did we date the same girl??? Try calling her, hell with texts. She’s avoiding talking to you face to face or on the phone where she will have to think on her feet and look you in the eye. Trust me on this!
 

17 shots

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It’s neither. I was in the same situation he is in. Only difference is I could never get her to come to my house and I only met her mom once (by accident) and one friend who was her roommate. I tried to get her to give me an answer about what was going on which was a stupid move but it was driving me crazy. She’d cancel dates, but yet when we talked via text she acted normal until oneday she was acting cold as hell and said she was going through a lot and wasn’t in a good place mentally. I said “I understand, well when you get in a place where you’d like to hangout again just let me know”. Never heard from her again. Oh and she’d talk through text but wouldn’t answer or return my calls. Weird.
I understand where you're coming from, but it's kind of presumptuous to say that it's the same exact problem just because of this experience you had. You could be right, but you could be wrong too, she could be acting cold for different reasons
 

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Obviously I'm going nc until next week now or even let it die out if she doesn't initiate so we won't know if that's the case.
I really don't think it's that serious even if she doesn't initiate. Just keep her in rotation, she may warm up again, she may not, but she's still answering you, so she's still in play. Just wake up and stop crushing on her so you're not so outcome dependent
 

sazc

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Which soap opera is this from lol
Days of our sosuave
As the manosphere turns
The young and the manly
Guiding PUA

Take your pick, lol
 

MrEkko

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A little bump on this in case someone wants to give their two cents:

After a couple of no’s when I asked her out, I went NC for a couple of weeks (she intimidated a few times in between for small talk and added me on social too). I couldn’t help it and went for the beta move to text her if something happened and made her go cold or what, she said that she’s sorry and just been busy with this and that etc. She suggested we do something on Sunday.

My question is how do I play this and act on a date that’s happening after a month of not seeing each other? I don’t recall this happening before and I expect the same vibe wont be there after all this time - do I play it cool and re-approach gradually or go big and just invite her over before/during the date?

Obviously if she cancels for any reason I get the message and I’m deleting the number and ceasing all contact.
 
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