Good dates but contact decreasing

[MrEkko]

Hi guys, been reading this for long and it's time for my first post which I'll try to keep short.

I met this girl online roughly 1.5 months ago and we've been on a few dates since then, average 1/week. All dates have gone great, we have good chemistry, keep contact through texting etc. and we had sex on the 4th date when she invited me over to a house party at hers where I met her friends and spent the night.
Now after this we were texting on a daily basis for a week and most of the times she was initiating contact. She came to mine after a night out after that and spent the night here and after a few days the initiation part of contact has lowered a lot from her side.

What's puzzling me is that when I initiate it seems that nothing has changed, it's actually the same banter/flirty chat that we had. We have also been on a couple more dates (that I suggested) and slept together after the last one this week. That was 2 days ago and there has been no contact since then.

So my questions are: 1. does it seem like there is a specific reason for the less contact or am I reading too much into this? and 2. do I proceed by being the one to initiate, suggest dates etc. as long as I see interest or do I wait longer for her to make a move (e.g. up to a week or even more)? There's a fine line between needy and indifferent and I don't wanna be perceived as any of the two.

P.S. It's no secret that I like her and I see potential for something more, hence I might be overthinking this.

 

[sosousage]

answer: you are not chad in her eyes

 

[SoSuave666]

P.S. It's no secret that I like her and I see potential for something more, hence I might be overthinking this.

She can sense this. You need to tone it down. Also, you are communicating daily? What do you mean. Are you exchanging one or two texts then setting up the next date? Or are you bantering back and forth all day and not setting up dates, then you do it all over again the next day.

Why are you not trying for more sex? 2 times in the past 1.5 months? I used to know a girl like this...she would string me along with sporadic sex and use me for drinks/dinner and to show off to her friends that she can attract good looking men.

Sounds to me like you are too available and she can sense you see something more in her. You are giving off relationship vibes way too early. Next time you have secks with her (if you do again) don't stay the night. Go home and let her think and wonder about you. Women's attraction grows when you are a mystery, not always accessible via text. Let her miss you.

 

[MrEkko]

She can sense this. You need to tone it down. Also, you are communicating daily? What do you mean. Are you exchanging one or two texts then setting up the next date? Or are you bantering back and forth all day and not setting up dates, then you do it all over again the next day.

Why are you not trying for more sex? 2 times in the past 1.5 months? I used to know a girl like this...she would string me along with sporadic sex and use me for drinks/dinner and to show off to her friends that she can attract good looking men.

Sounds to me like you are too available and she can sense you see something more in her. You are giving off relationship vibes way too early. Next time you have secks with her (if you do again) don't stay the night. Go home and let her think and wonder about you. Women's attraction grows when you are a mystery, not always accessible via text. Let her miss you.

We would communicate daily but just chat as you said, and meet once per week. We've had sex 3 times so far, as I said it happened on the fourth date so timing wise it makes sense.

You might be right on the relationship vibes - I've slept with 15+ women in the past 3 months (almost never more than once cos I wasn't much interested) but I've found myself being really into her now and I want something more than that. Is 1.5 month really too early for relationship vibes? I've only had one in my life which ended up being an LTR and we were together from very early on so don't have much experience on this.

 

[Robert28]

Dude your posts reads just like a relationship I had and I messed it all up cause I was too available. I knew better too. Here’s what’s going to happen, you have 2 dates left tops and she will ghost you or start breaking dates with you and she will still talk to you on messenger but won’t answer or return your calls. She’s not going to tell you why she won’t see you but you’ll know. Same thing happened to me.

 

[Crown]

She fuks other dudes

 

[sph21]

If you act like a friend, then you'll be treated like one.

You texted her too much. Every girl loves to text to her female friends on daily basis. If you're acting like them by constantly texting her, then you're no different than her female friends. Instead, give her some space to miss you. It's too late though.

 

[backseatjuan]

Sht test her:

Call her up, ask her when she has free time.

Does she question why before answering? She's not interested in you.​

She has no free time? She's not interested in you.​

There is a good legitimate excuse for her not having free time? She's not interested in you.​

​

She has free time? Great! Invite her over to your place for drinks and movie.

She don't want to come? She's not interested in you.​

She give you a good legitimate excuse? She's not interested in you.​

​

If she is not interested in you, then you do not pursue her. If she is interested in you, then you fck her.

 

[MrEkko]

Dude your posts reads just like a relationship I had and I messed it all up cause I was too available. I knew better too. Here’s what’s going to happen, you have 2 dates left tops and she will ghost you or start breaking dates with you and she will still talk to you on messenger but won’t answer or return your calls. She’s not going to tell you why she won’t see you but you’ll know. Same thing happened to me.

Well that sounds pretty pessimistic. Any advice on how to avoid that now from your perspective or is it too late?

 

[MrEkko]

Thanks for the replies - just to mention that there is clearly interest from her side as we have arranged dates (she's never cancelled), had a great time on those and slept together too as I said.

The thing that worries me is why the sudden no initiation of contact from her side. Also, when I said that we would talk every day, it wouldn't be constant. Just a few texts spread throughout the day, where she would usually initiate.

 

[RangerMIke]

Women are great actresses... you think the date went well because she was ACTING. The only way to know for sure is if she meets you again, since she won't you have your answer.

I have A LOT more first dates that go nowhere then one's that end with a connection. I also have lots of women that things went well for awhile, then suddenly NOTHING. It ALL starts with the chick... if she doesn't like you or stops liking you, or she thinks she has a better option, NOTHING happens. If at some point she loses interest, then it is OVER.

Do not believe it is anything you actual do or don't do. If she doesn't like you, NOTHING you do or fail to do will matter, PERIOD.

Your behavior is only a factor if she already likes you, if she likes you then you can chase her off with weak behavior, but acting like a man will not help you if there is no chemistry. Do not believe all the PUA bvllsh!t that is out there. Work on yourself because that will increase the number of chicks that will be attracted to you.... then it's a numbers game, you date lots of women and filter out the ones that are not interested.

 

[Robert28]

Be prepared that you may not get a solid answer from her, you’re going to have to figure out all this **** out on your own. By that time you are already way down the road and realize you should have walked away a long time ago but didn’t realize it. Hell the girl I’m talking about neber technically dumped me. She just stopped seeing me when I’d try to make dates all of a sudden and she never answered or returned my 3 calls I made over the course of a week. She would respond on messenger though but it was short answers with lots of indifference. The last thing she said was “I’ve had a lot going on and haven’t been in a good place mentally lately”. Never heard that before but took that as my cue to get the hell away. So basically I just said “I understand, let me know when you work through your issues and maybe we can get together in the future”. Then I went no contact. That was a month ago and haven’t heard from her but she still looks at my social media whenever I post something so who knows. The only thing you can do is hope the next guy doesn’t know what the hell hes doing and fvcks up so bad that your little mess ups seem like child’s play to his and she comes running back.

 

[sazc]

She's looking to you too be a man and lead.

 

[Robert28]

Well that sounds pretty pessimistic. Any advice on how to avoid that now from your perspective or is it too late?

Well your timeline is playing out exactly how mine did. If I could go back I would have gone no contact sooner than I did. I didn’t smother the girl to where it caused her to stop liking me all together but she did lose substantial interest in me all of a sudden but looking back I now see some red flags I missed.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

So my questions are: 1. does it seem like there is a specific reason for the less contact or am I reading too much into this? and 2. do I proceed by being the one to initiate, suggest dates etc. as long as I see interest or do I wait longer for her to make a move (e.g. up to a week or even more)? There's a fine line between needy and indifferent and I don't wanna be perceived as any of the two.

P.S. It's no secret that I like her and I see potential for something more, hence I might be overthinking this.

One could go nuts trying to figure out why women do what they do. So long as YOU are having fun and enjoying time with her and are sleeping with her, I would simply fall back to initiating contact once or twice a week and setting a date, then watching her actions on the date. I wouldn't wait for her to make a move. It's up to you to lead. But you only do that while she is following. If she stops following (responding to your 1x-2x per week texts, won't agree to a date, or date isn't fun or sex stops), then you stop initiating contact and wait for her to reach out - if and when she does, you assume she is reaching out because she wants to see you (even if she doesn't overtly indicate that) so you use the opportunity to set a date. Operating in this way is not being needy.

Your statement about seeing potential for something more could be an issue, as others have said. If you are directly communicating this to her, that will be seen as needy. If you are even *thinking* it, most women will be able to feel this - they are experts at reading that kind of thing. You need to live in the moment, enjoy her company, but be busy and see other women so that you aren't pursuing a relationship with her and she knows you have options. Typically only then will a woman pursue and drive toward a relationship, and you have to let her do this, and when she does, you can't jump on it. A high value man will not jump on a girl who is trying to lock him down because he has other options he is evaluating.

 

[RickTheToad]

Back off and let her come to you. If she never contacts you again, then you have your answer. You need a bit of distance between you two. Remember, the opposite of what you do with a lady will happen. You contact more, that pushes her away. You contact her less, that can bring her back into your frame. Right now, you chasing her, you are entering her frame. You need to be the leader, not follower.

 

[Robert28]

Back off and let her come to you. If she never contacts you again, then you have your answer. You need a bit of distance between you two. Remember, the opposite of what you do with a lady will happen. You contact more, that pushes her away. You contact her less, that can bring her back into your frame. Right now, you chasing her, you are entering her frame. You need to be the leader, not follower.

I agree this works but I stopped playing that game a long time ago. I’ll pull back but when I do my attraction to her starts dropping rapidly as well as my interest. If she waits too long (3 weeks or over a month) I’m long gone. Her interest might have risen in that time but I’ve weitten her off and once I stop being attracted to you there’s nothing you can do or say that’ll ever get it back. If she wants time to sort out her emotions, fine, she can do it on her time but don’t expect me to wait around. No I’m not going to try to set up a date or get her to my house if she contacts me later like most say to do, because now she’s as appealing to me as a 300lb fat girl. I don’t play these games with women, if she isn’t willing to have a face to face talk and tell me WHY she’s losing interest or needs space then don’t expect me to guess and be a mind reader. She can do the space thing but if she waits too long she might as well be dead to me. I don’t wait around and I’ve long since moved on and I’ll neber be attracted to her ever again.

 

[RickTheToad]

I agree this works but I stopped playing that game a long time ago. I’ll pull back but when I do my attraction to her starts dropping rapidly as well as my interest. If she waits too long (3 weeks or over a month) I’m long gone. Her interest might have risen in that time but I’ve weitten her off and once I stop being attracted to you there’s nothing you can do or say that’ll ever get it back. If she wants time to sort out her emotions, fine, she can do it on her time but don’t expect me to wait around. No I’m not going to try to set up a date or get her to my house if she contacts me later like most say to do, because now she’s as appealing to me as a 300lb fat girl. I don’t play these games with women, if she isn’t willing to have a face to face talk and tell me WHY she’s losing interest or needs space then don’t expect me to guess and be a mind reader. She can do the space thing but if she waits too long she might as well be dead to me. I don’t wait around and I’ve long since moved on and I’ll neber be attracted to her ever again.

Never good to leave pvssy on the table if it's offered. They are not in a relationship, they are just dating and non-exclusive. The door should always be left open for sex to happen. A lady's mood changes by the day. Rollo did a video on it and it's in his books. I was seeing a lady who's mood was changing back and forth by the week. Sometimes flirty and open, others out of no where, distant and mild. No problem. I pulled back my non-sexual attention and fvcked around with other ladies. She wants to come back, cool, if not, no problem. I'm at the point where I just don't give a fvck anymore. No anger or disappointment, just calling it for how it is. However, if any lady I am seeing wants to reach out an get together, I'll consider it.

 

[Robert28]

Never good to leave pvssy on the table if it's offered. They are not in a relationship, they are just dating and non-exclusive. The door should always be left open for sex to happen. A lady's mood changes by the day. Rollo did a video on it and it's in his books. I was seeing a lady who's mood was changing back and forth by the week. Sometimes flirty and open, others out of no where, distant and mild. No problem. I pulled back my non-sexual attention and fvcked around with other ladies. She wants to come back, cool, if not, no problem. I'm at the point where I just don't give a fvck anymore. No anger or disappointment, just calling it for how it is. However, if any lady I am seeing wants to reach out an get together, I'll consider it.

I’m not saying I’ll cuss her out for reaching out but I’m also not about to bump some current women to make room for her either. I try not to juggle more than 3-4 women at a time cause I want to do other stuff too and I can’t go shuffling the deck for someone that wants to walk in and out of my life on a whim.

 

[flowtheory]

Hi guys, been reading this for long and it's time for my first post which I'll try to keep short.

I met this girl online roughly 1.5 months ago and we've been on a few dates since then, average 1/week. All dates have gone great, we have good chemistry, keep contact through texting etc. and we had sex on the 4th date when she invited me over to a house party at hers where I met her friends and spent the night.
Now after this we were texting on a daily basis for a week and most of the times she was initiating contact. She came to mine after a night out after that and spent the night here and after a few days the initiation part of contact has lowered a lot from her side.

What's puzzling me is that when I initiate it seems that nothing has changed, it's actually the same banter/flirty chat that we had. We have also been on a couple more dates (that I suggested) and slept together after the last one this week. That was 2 days ago and there has been no contact since then.

So my questions are: 1. does it seem like there is a specific reason for the less contact or am I reading too much into this? and 2. do I proceed by being the one to initiate, suggest dates etc. as long as I see interest or do I wait longer for her to make a move (e.g. up to a week or even more)? There's a fine line between needy and indifferent and I don't wanna be perceived as any of the two.

P.S. It's no secret that I like her and I see potential for something more, hence I might be overthinking this.

Some women aren’t going to initiate all the texts for you. If they have high interest they could be testing you to see if you’re still going to pursue even though you aren’t getting the normal green lights.

If you’re planning dates, and having sex on those dates, there’s flirting, etc, then it’s all good and you’re getting hung up on the game playing and ego massage of things. Your job is to plan dates and set the right moods on that date which will lead to sex and deeper connection. If you’re successful doing that, you’ll see her again.

Some women take longer to emotionally invest if they’re higher quality, because they’ve been burned and so they keep their heart more guarded or a whole slew of other reasons.

Be more of a man than her, plan dates, and keep it alive. If she’s receptive to the dates and sex is there, keep going. If she’s flaking or non responsive for days, there’s an issue.

Also, if you’re not exclusive yet, date other women also. It will take away some of your over-eagerness to over-invest like you may be are now. It’s not terrible when a woman knows you are more interested, but it just gives them way more comfort and room to do as they please at your own expense. Women are more attracted to men where they don’t know where they stand with them. This is why it’s bad to pour your heart out to them and tell them the lullabies of your feelings. No need to do that; actions show your feelings and women subconsciously gather this information.

Never forget; women are always testing you and will keep doing so. So it’s inportant to build a natural abundance mindset with life and be working in your purpose.

I recently read Corey Wayne’s book. It was actually quite insightful and good. I recommend it.