Good Conversationalist!!!

[al77]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia

1. What is your favorite word?
2. What is your least favorite word.
3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
4. What turns you off?
5. What sound or noise do you love?
6. What sound or noise do you hate?
7. What is your favorite curse word?
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
9. What profession would you not like to do?
10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
    [/list=1]

1. 
   
   I sure missed somehting. Imagine this situation:
   
   Me: Hi!
   She: Hi..
   Me: Thats a cool XXXX you got..
   She Blah blah
   Me: so..What is your favorite word?
   She: ????!......8-]
   
   In the context of a small talk on a street is it really acceptable to ask those questions? They are quite good for online. Sure. But seem for real life short convo it would too much. am I wrong?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by al77
I sure missed somehting. Imagine this situation:

Me: Hi!
She: Hi..
Me: Thats a cool XXXX you got..
She Blah blah
Me: so..What is your favorite word?
She: ????!......8-]

In the context of a small talk on a street is it really acceptable to ask those questions? They are quite good for online. Sure. But seem for real life short convo it would too much. am I wrong?

No, no, no, no, no.... These are suggestions on how to get to know a woman once you gain some level of rapport, not how to approach one.

 

[tatlongxxx]

Originally posted by al77
I sure missed somehting. Imagine this situation:

Me: Hi!
She: Hi..
Me: Thats a cool XXXX you got..
She Blah blah
Me: so..What is your favorite word?
She: ????!......8-]

In the context of a small talk on a street is it really acceptable to ask those questions? They are quite good for online. Sure. But seem for real life short convo it would too much. am I wrong?

No, that is not the way to do it. Let me guess, think your a silent type of guy (as well i am) who cannot have a conversation with women or men . Practice first with men, and soon...... you can get used to it.

Thanks to u guyz! u enlighten my mind.... its just like mind over matter thing.

 

[usedtolurk]

The replies in this thread is a joke. I would laugh at chick who asked me those questions. al77, do a search on "nouning" and go from there.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by usedtolurk
The replies in this thread is a joke. I would laugh at chick who asked me those questions. al77, do a search on "nouning" and go from there.

Do you understand nouning? It doesn't work on approaches, it only works once you gain rapport. And even then it's just another way to illicit additional information once an opening is made.

My gosh, you guys with your 'tricks' makes me wonder how anyone can actually become a DJ and not just pretend to be one.

 

[al77]

Francisco,

Can you give some hints about how to elicit her values in a small talk, say if I approach her on the street?
We already started talking... but it seems impossible to ask her directly "so, what do you like to do?"
What questions you would recommend?

 

[usedtolurk]

Originally posted by al77
Francisco,

Can you give some hints about how to elicit her values in a small talk, say if I approach her on the street?
We already started talking... but it seems impossible to ask her directly "so, what do you like to do?"
What questions you would recommend?

Take note of her environment and what she's doing. Think "what kind of girl goes to and does so-and-so?". Look for props too.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by usedtolurk
Take note of her environment and what she's doing. Think "what kind of girl goes to and does so-and-so?". Look for props too.

Good suggestion but remember that you want to create a comfortable environment between the two of you. The best way to do that is to find commonalities between the two of you. What might that be? Not her environment but your shared environment.

Where are the two of you, what are the two of you doing, watching, waiting for? All of these things are initial topics of conversation, chit chat. Don't rely on it for a sustained conversation, just the appetizer to one that is more substantial.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Good suggestion but remember that you want to create a comfortable environment between the two of you. The best way to do that is to find commonalities between the two of you.

Where are the two of you, what are the two of you doing, watching, waiting for? All of these things are initial topics of conversation, chit chat.

Well... so initial convo is destined to be a chit chat without eliciting her values, interestd and hobbies.
Point taken.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by al77
Well... so initial convo is destined to be a chit chat without eliciting her values, interestd and hobbies.
Point taken.

Yes, think of chit chat as the beginning of an Infomercial. It gets your attention and engages you but after a minute or two it is easily understood what's for sale. At that point you need to really engage them and infer value or else they will get bored and change the channel.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Yes, think of chit chat as the beginning of an Infomercial. It gets your attention and engages you but after a minute or two it is easily understood what's for sale. At that point you need to really engage them and infer value or else they will get bored

Yes, this what I am wondering about: after a small chit chat, what would be a good way to engage them and infer value?
What questions to use?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by al77
Yes, this what I am wondering about: after a small chit chat, what would be a good way to engage them and infer value?
What questions to use?

You create questions from what you discern from your chit chat. Remember, BE INTERESTED.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
You create questions from what you discern from your chit chat. Remember, BE INTERESTED.

I know that. It is obvious. Whta is not obvious is how to tune them in order to elicit her values and interests? Any idea?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Dont just listen to her, BE INTERESTED.

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

Francisco, you give very good advice and appear to be the one guy on here that actually has it all together.

Most people have secret passions or dreams that they never share. I fyou can get a person to share those things you can definitely get to know them on an intimate level. How do you get those secret desires out. The only times I've felt such synchronicity with another person wasn't by planning our anything, it just happened. I never have such closeness in women I chase.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Thanks, there's a number of us that 'get it' but it's mostly because we've already walked the paths that these guys are walking right now. I'll be the first to admit that one of the ways that I increase my skills is by giving suggestions in this forum; I'm still learning right along with everyone else.

What I'm seeing is that although many guys understand the concepts of what needs to be done when interacting with women, it's the facility of compiling and/or transitioning from the concepts.

The problem is that in general, men are logical and work well with things that are cut and dry or listed as a set of tasks. Unfortunately, women do not fall into that set of constraints. We've all seen this and have been frustrated by it. Our success will be based on our ability to forgo that perception and become more dynamic in our ways of interaction.

 

[Mister Big]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
I'm still learning right along with everyone else.

It is cool to hear this from someone who knows the concepts well has experience applying. Not thinking that you know if all seems to be the primary difference between confidence and arrogance. Confidence being much more attractive. You'll always improve if you continue to learn and share.

 

[tatlongxxx]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Thanks, there's a number of us that 'get it' but it's mostly because we've already walked the paths that these guys are walking right now. I'll be the first to admit that one of the ways that I increase my skills is by giving suggestions in this forum; I'm still learning right along with everyone else.

What I'm seeing is that although many guys understand the concepts of what needs to be done when interacting with women, it's the facility of compiling and/or transitioning from the concepts.

The problem is that in general, men are logical and work well with things that are cut and dry or listed as a set of tasks. Unfortunately, women do not fall into that set of constraints. We've all seen this and have been frustrated by it. Our success will be based on our ability to forgo that perception and become more dynamic in our ways of interaction.

I’m in the office and I have this girl, looking at me now. Think I like her, with her physical appearance, smile etc… I once talked to her, asking what kind of work she is doing, suddenly this man infront of me is looking at me and I think his getting jealous. After a while, this man is confronting me if I like the girl in an angry voice.

Any advice would be appreciated.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by tatlongxxx
I’m in the office and I have this girl, looking at me now. Think I like her, with her physical appearance, smile etc… I once talked to her, asking what kind of work she is doing, suddenly this man infront of me is looking at me and I think his getting jealous. After a while, this man is confronting me if I like the girl in an angry voice.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Stay calm. It doesn't sound as if the guy has actually said anything to you so he's a non issue, let him flip his lid if he wants to, it's not your problem. Talk to your girl, she's a grown woman and will tell you if she's not interested.