Gone cold

[ThisIsSparta]

But anyway, things are weird, and I wish to know how to proceed online up until Saturday when I get there

and how to proceed when I get there. Should I confront her or not? Something like that

If you are on a budget and need to stay at her place, directly ask her if she still wants you to come, because she is sending a negative message between the lines.

If you have the money to enjoy the trip on your own, go to her place, be cool and if you dont feel the vibe leave her place cool.

 

[The Duke]

Doesn't sound like she is still interested in the type of relationship you guys had over the years. My guess is there is another guy she has feelings for and now she is in an awkward position but doesn't want to tell you(typical female mode of operation).
You have never been her first choice anyways. Sounds like your mind is in the right place. Definitely have an alternative plan ready to go, you'll probably need it.

I'd ask her if she still wants you to stay at her place and explain why you feel the way you do. Tell her you are willing to stay somewhere else. Do this over the phone, not thru text. You will pick up more of the vibe that way.

 

[Lotus Effect]

If you are on a budget and need to stay at her place, directly ask her if she still wants you to come, because she is sending a negative message between the lines.

If you have the money to enjoy the trip on your own, go to her place, be cool and if you dont feel the vibe leave her place cool.

yup
I do have the money

wasn’t keen on expending it aimlessly, but I do have it!

but I’m guessing this is the plan now.
Get there. Check the vibe

up until Saturday I might interact with her a couple more times

firstly because she bought some stuff and sent it to my house for me to take it to her

secondly because I’m going to her mom’s (her mother lives here in Brazil) because her mother asked me to get some stuff and also take it

so I guess that in these two interactions I might gauge her interest level

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Put yourself in a tough spot buying a ticket and staying there for so long.

If things don't pan out then work on getting out and meeting other women during your time there and look to hook up with them.

Don't waste time trying to make something work with her if she isn't feeling it.

 

[Gamisch]

Sorry mate!

I mistook you for Cornbread
Your response was actually really great!

Still you choose to respond to the negative comments (although they are not stupid comments)rather then the comments that provided some sort of solution. But oke.

 

[Lotus Effect]

Doesn't sound like she is still interested in the type of relationship you guys had over the years. My guess is there is another guy she has feelings for and now she is in an awkward position but doesn't want to tell you(typical female mode of operation).
You have never been her first choice anyways. Sounds like your mind is in the right place. Definitely have an alternative plan ready to go, you'll probably need it.

I'd ask her if she still wants you to stay at her place and explain why you feel the way you do. Tell her you are willing to stay somewhere else. Do this over the phone, not thru text. You will pick up more of the vibe that way.

We never had a relationship over the years
I just had a quick fling here and there

I know her family because my sister is a good friend of her sister

but nothing more

this last visit of hers was the most intense we’ve been

anyways,
I’m guessing that there’s another guy.
Interest don’t drop like that out of the blue

But, I’m not very inclined on calling
Because in the remote possibility that there is nothing going on, and it is all in my head, I might generate some bad vibe.

I’m guessing I’ll gauge through the next interactions, that are forced to happen because Of the stuff that I’ll bring, and see it from there

 

[CornbreadFed]

I am sorry if I appeared a little too harsh on you OP, but you have invested your time and money on a girl with mixed interest in you. You do not have the room to play Disney fairytale hopium and only seek the answers you want to hear. Like I said before, cut the desperation attitude out immediately because it is blatant. You will continue to turn her off less and her interest might rekindle. Last, plan this trip for you, if she wants to join then she will follow your lead. You can cancel hotels/airbnbs ahead of time, so don't give me a cop out for that lol. If her interest rekindles and she is all for you staying at her place then proceed to cancel your lodging.

 

[Lotus Effect]

I am sorry if I appeared a little too harsh on you OP, but you have invested your time and money on a girl with mixed interest in you. You do not have the room to play Disney fairytale hopium and only seek the answers you want to hear. Like I said before, cut the desperation attitude out immediately because it is blatant. You will continue to turn her off less and her interest might rekindle. Last, plan this trip for you, if she wants to join then she will follow your lead. You can cancel hotels/airbnbs ahead of time, so don't give me a cop out for that lol. If her interest rekindles and she is all for you staying at her place then proceed to cancel your lodging.

i haven’t booked any hotels/Airbnbs yet

as I was planning on staying at her place, as I’ve said before.

anyway, the plan is this.

plane tickets are bought
I’m going
If it is not ideal with her at her place I’ll take my leave
I Have a couple of friends that live in Lisbon, and my sister who lives in Madrid
Already spoke to all of them, so there is a plan b

end of story!
hoping for the best, prepared for the worst

 

[Lotus Effect]

Anyways!

sorry about my earlier demeanor!

I thank each and every one of you guys who spared a moment to share your thoughts!

it was a heavy blow, and I felt it!
Anyway, is best to vent here than messaging her and ending up saying some stupid shi7!

cheers guys

 

[Gamisch]

Anyways!

sorry about my earlier demeanor!

I thank each and every one of you guys who spared a moment to share your thoughts!

it was a heavy blow, and I felt it!
Anyway, is best to vent here than messaging her and ending up saying some stupid shi7!

cheers guys

Perhaps I am in the wrong, but why dont you simply ask her what's wrong/going on. Sooner or later she will drop the bomb on you anyway .

 

[Lotus Effect]

Perhaps I am in the wrong, but why dont you simply ask her what's wrong/going on. Sooner or later she will drop the bomb on you anyway .

Because maybe there is nothing, and by saying something I might validate low value.

IMO, if I am what i say, and I live a life o plenty (which is actually true) I shouldn’t be worrying about this.

and, on the other side, if there is a bomb to be dropped, I rather she drops it, than I dig for it

 

[Lotus Effect]

Or simply put:

be desireless, be excellent, be gone