gone beta... need major help

[whatami]

So i managed to do it, i got the hottest girl in school to chase me. we dated unofficially before becoming official for 5 months, but since she was into it much more than i was, i had the upper hand. when i made it official, she was so happy she told all her friends how happy i made her and how much she likes me. She started getting too clingy, and it was pushing me farther away.

I started becoming cold and distant. she said we needed to talk and i suggested we take a break to see whether we like things or not, she agreed and started crying. she told a mutual friend she was really scared before we had the talk. A week later, i realized i do actually like her and wanted to get back, she said she likes me but it's too soon and doesn't want to get hurt

A week after that she says she likes me but we can only be friends. I go NC thinking she'll come back, a week later she starts seeing this guy, 2-3 weeks in they become official. and now they're together, i think they reach a month soon. She's all i think about, it's really killing me. I'm going crazy? like how could i let her go. i want to get over her and move, but there is no hotter girl that'll make me feel better. EVERYONE in school tells me you fool how could you let her go? she's soo hot etc.. she was blonde, had blue eyes and big boobs. mutual friends said she's really happy with her new boyfriend and he treats her really well. I took her for granted because i never thought she'd be able to move on that fast, so now how can i move on? i can't stay like this, i met other girls and all i do is compare them to her. She can be classified as an HB10. i want her back, but i know that's almost impossible if not impossible.
I pretend like i'm fine with the breakup, i even told her how the breakup was for the best and i'm really happy for her (complete bs from my part).
I'm in NC but i'm not feeling any better, i just relive the same scenarios over and over

 

[DarkDetective50]

Don't they teach you guys in high school how to use paragraphs and capitalization and punctuation? Sheesh.

 

[scudge]

I started becoming cold and distant. she said we needed to talk and i suggested we take a break to see whether we like things or not, she agreed and started crying.

Sounds like she liked things better without you. Said it yourself.

Harsh, but true.


On the other hand, if she is in fact THE HOTTEST girl in the vicinity, the slightest whiff of neediness from you and she's gone. She can get pretty much any guy she wants. She cried and was emotional because you two had a relationship and she cared for you, but she lost attraction somewhere down the line.

In the future you should be more honest with your girls about what you expect from them. There are better courses of action than NC.

 

[Die Hard]

I feel for you, dude...


It's a tricky situation, man. If you act like you're fine with the breakup and her being with someone else, she'll think that you don't care for her, thus that she made the right decision in leaving you behind.
On the other hand, if you show her that you do care for her and that you really want her back, it could make her lose whatever interest she has left for you...

There must be some fine line in between for you to walk. Meaning you show her that you do want her back and reassuring her that she won't get hurt if she comes back to you, but at the same time communicating to her that you can be happy without her if she would not come back.

It might be smart to get involved with another chick before you attempt this. That way, the both of you will be in an equal bargaining position, you will both have to give someone else up for each other. If you try to get her back while you're single and she is in a relationship, it puts her in a dominant position and it will make you appear kinda desperate. It would give her the idea that she can stayu with her current guy and you will always be waiting for her, no pressure for her to take you back right away... But if you get into a relationship with someone else and tell her that you want to get back with her, there's a finality to your offer. She will fear that if she doesn't accept your offer now, she will lose you to your current girlfriend.

These are just some thoughts of mine on your situation, I'm not saying anything with certainty!

 

[whatami]

I feel for you, dude...


It's a tricky situation, man. If you act like you're fine with the breakup and her being with someone else, she'll think that you don't care for her, thus that she made the right decision in leaving you behind.
On the other hand, if you show her that you do care for her and that you really want her back, it could make her lose whatever interest she has left for you...

There must be some fine line in between for you to walk. Meaning you show her that you do want her back and reassuring her that she won't get hurt if she comes back to you, but at the same time communicating to her that you can be happy without her if she would not come back.

It might be smart to get involved with another chick before you attempt this. That way, the both of you will be in an equal bargaining position, you will both have to give someone else up for each other. If you try to get her back while you're single and she is in a relationship, it puts her in a dominant position and it will make you appear kinda desperate. It would give her the idea that she can stayu with her current guy and you will always be waiting for her, no pressure for her to take you back right away... But if you get into a relationship with someone else and tell her that you want to get back with her, there's a finality to your offer. She will fear that if she doesn't accept your offer now, she will lose you to your current girlfriend.

These are just some thoughts of mine on your situation, I'm not saying anything with certainty!

She made it clear she's moved on, everyone was surprised like you don't go from being crazy about someone to liking someone else in a few weeks, i was her 2nd relationship, took her a year to get over he first boyfriend. I think me trying to get her back will just prolong my healing, and i'm in NC to move the fark on but honestly i feel like no progress is being made. 6 months and i'll be done with school for good, at least i know a year from now i'll hopefully be looking back and laughing at this.... it takes me forever to like someone, but when i do i get attached way more than i should

 

[sylvester the cat]

i did that once OP. told a hot girl we should take a break in the hope she would beg me not to leave her. she said 'ok'. how gutted was i. she started dating a whizzkid millionaire entrepreneur shortly after. lucky for me a period of NC (way before i discovered this site) got her running back. until i blew it again.

 

[Dgwizdal]

Shoulda stuck to your guns kid. You tried way to soon to get back together. Now all you can do is get over her and let her go and she'll probably come sniffing back around once she done with the white knight as long as you keep your cool.

 

[whatami]

Shoulda stuck to your guns kid. You tried way to soon to get back together. Now all you can do is get over her and let her go and she'll probably come sniffing back around once she done with the white knight as long as you keep your cool.

They've met each others parents, he treats her way better than i did. I just don't see her ever coming back. We weren't in a LTR, there's like only one hot available girl in school and she's on of my ex's best friends.
I want to find a way to start speaking to her and maybe rebounding with her, it'll be hard but not impossible

 

[abe0]

Its over...its done ...see yah!!! Yep...it hurts....now move one and do not look back. Geee....she really got over you quickly didn't she? F...her!!!!
Abe

 

[fuzzball]

She started getting too clingy, and it was pushing me farther away.

this really is the key. she was all over you and YOU pushed her away. she responded in kind and pushed you away.

secondly if she is that damn hot she can have anyone.

thirdly girls seem to inexplicably be able to go from I love you to Fvck off in a heartbeat.

fourthly. its high school youll move on idealy.

and last but not least....girls tend to be stupid overall. but high school girls? i think that is probably the dumbest creature on the planet. so bear that in mind when dealing with her.

also to further explain things. you dated for 5 months thats a LTR. and by high school measures thats like forever dude. her pleas to talk(if a girl is this overt and blunt she is desperate and out of other options) were likely to try and figure out why her LTR that she seemed to love had gone south to which you responded and said lets take a break. in womanverse thats GTFO we're done which is exactly what she did. she got GTFO. also taking that long to realize you like her is insulting to her and really anyone with feelings. this further hurt her feelings that it took you more than 5 months to realize you cared about her.

learn it now....there is no couple falls in love....breaks up....and has a happy reuniting scene like in every romantic comedy in existence. you tried to do it and failed. you then tried to NC a girl who you emotionally just crushed expecting her to want to love you again...yea not happening. you basically told this girl I dont love you in response to her cries of I LOVE YOU.

mix this failure in with HS hormones and emotions and the best advice i can say is to really try not to let this one sting for too long. but i know it will because its HS and shes the most popular girl in school.

as Pook has stated better than I but essentially women are to be loved not understood. this one wanted to love you but instead of being a human with feelings you turned into a cold hearted robot. being Alpha is not being feelingless. humans have feelings. you dont need to go AFC nice guy feelings but in a LTR the guy does need to have some feelings for the girl. in fact she will expect it and crave it. your girl was trying to get it out of you but robots dont have feelings. so the robot in accordance with his programming drove the crazy emotional being away. while Love is not the cornerstone to starting a relationship it is needed to sustain it at some point. again loving a girl doesnt mean turn into an AFC beta chump.

 

[whatami]

I know what i did was wrong, but how on earth do i move on?! It's been 2 months and i'm filled with regret. I just want to move on and feel fine again.... She was my bestfriend when we were dating but now i've been replaced. She doesn't give a single fvck anymore, i just want to do the same and not be all over the place. I never knew i could be so emotional ffs