Going to bars/clubs alone...

[DonutMan]

Do a lot of you guys ever go out to bars or clubs alone? Without your friends, wingmen, or whatever? I never have really. Any time I go out I swear it seems like everybody has their own group, so is it gonna be hard to meet girls without a support group to fall back on. I know that sounds dumb, but im serious. I need hints/advice. I guess having other people there is just a confidence booster, so im worried that without them I will have a hard time finding my groove...

 

[Mr. Wolf]

Yes, those other people with you are a social umbrella. They give you confidence to:

A) Go out to a bar.
B) Walk into a bar.
C) Locate yourself inside a bar.
D) Order a drink.


Anything else you are on your own.



You never gone to a bar alone?

 

[Microphone Fiend]

I do. Last year, I would say how I lost my friends or whatever, now it does not seem to come up much. I meet people i've seen around and talk to them, or make new friends at the party. If you have to explain why you are by yourself, something like:
My friend is too busy having sex with their gf
I just wanted to have some fun tonite
I just stopped by for a drink

will usually do the trick. I don't really have any examples in my journal, but a decent amount of the approaches are solo unless otherwise stated

 

[Mad Manic]

I go out alone. I prefer it big time. I will tell you why. When I used to go out with people I know, they often would hold me back, maybe not deliberatley but they did. Also when your with people you know they expect you to behave a certain way and if your new to picking up women you wont feel comfortable doing that around old friends, because it is new behaviour and old friends expect your old chump behaviour. The most liberating things ive done in life have been done alone.
Finally if I go to a bar alone or a club alone it forces me to talk to people and chumps need to be forced into appraoching and talking. Once you overcome your shyness or insecurity about being on your own you will wonder why you spent so many years relying on friends as a social crutch. If a woman asks why your alone just tell them "I came out tonight to meet new people not to spend the night talking with people I already know, that would be pointless" Also this will make her think your super confident, and she will feel like the chump and lower than you for having her friends as a social cruch, because thats how it really is.
The truth is the best awnser, dont be a chump, only chumps make up excuses to women and women detect that as the turnoff it is. Say what I say and you will see women will seek your approval. Remember who gave these words of wisdom to you.

Absolutely brilliant post, I totally agree with everything you wrote based on experience. It's amazing how much free and easy things can be when you do it solo, I've number closed hot girls alone and K-Closed them alone and had top interactions, none of this ever happened when out with chump mates who held me back. I'll rep you for this one and I like your advice on what to say if it comes up. Although you'd have to frame it right as if you CHOSE to do it solo because of x, y and z.

MM

 

[mongolboy]

FUC YEA! Totally agreed with this mothafucing post... i use 2 hang out with a fucin bunch of AFC's and i realized that was what holding me back and making me act &look like a looser. NOw im a 1 man army nam sayin? i dun need no other mofuca for some support and connections.. im out there doin my own thin and enjoyin it because happiness and confidence comes from INSIDE not from the OUTSIDE!
KEEP THE SUGGESTIONS COMING Much love to the community~

 

[JDA70]

Once you overcome your shyness or insecurity about being on your own you will wonder why you spent so many years relying on friends as a social crutch.

Good point.

 

[The Inside Man]

I had the same problem when I first moved south. I finally went out by myself, I ended up having a blast. I started going out with some people from my apt, but they have turned out to be dumb pillheads who only want to go to one bar. So looks like I'll be striking out alone once again.

 

[young_gun]

I go out alone. I prefer it big time. I will tell you why. When I used to go out with people I know, they often would hold me back, maybe not deliberatley but they did. Also when your with people you know they expect you to behave a certain way and if your new to picking up women you wont feel comfortable doing that around old friends, because it is new behaviour and old friends expect your old chump behaviour. The most liberating things ive done in life have been done alone.
Finally if I go to a bar alone or a club alone it forces me to talk to people and chumps need to be forced into appraoching and talking. Once you overcome your shyness or insecurity about being on your own you will wonder why you spent so many years relying on friends as a social crutch. If a woman asks why your alone just tell them "I came out tonight to meet new people not to spend the night talking with people I already know, that would be pointless" Also this will make her think your super confident, and she will feel like the chump and lower than you for having her friends as a social cruch, because thats how it really is.
The truth is the best awnser, dont be a chump, only chumps make up excuses to women and women detect that as the turnoff it is. Say what I say and you will see women will seek your approval. Remember who gave these words of wisdom to you.

This is a great post. I prefer being with friends now, but I used to go out alone to force myself to meet people. If you don't know anyone around, it forces you to break your comfort zone and meet new people. You get better at it the more you do it.

 

[Killer_Demo]

im goin solo next weekend... sucks that all my friends are married and dont wanna go out

 

[Fuglydude]

I love going to the club alone! There's lotsa clubs within walking distance to my place. I'm in a committed relationship right now and not looking to hook up or anything...so I'll just go to dance...by myself. Its great cardio, and feels good.

Girls notice it big time when you're by yourself and jamming and just having fun. Not sure what it is but you'll get tons of IOIs, many women will check you out blatantly and arrange them in your periphery, other girls will sometimes "back up into you", grab your ass etc. Whether or not you choose to approach or accept advances is upto you. It doesn't make sense to me why going to the club alone is so "productive" because aren't most people who go out alone considered anti-social/unpopular and lacking social proof by the majority of the population...wouldn't that make girls NOT wanna approach, show IOIs' etc?

I bet girls at clubs think I'm a total weirdo and/or gay for jamming by myself because I don't make ANY eye contact or approach them despite IOIs. Its hilarious when girls get frustrated and just leave after trying to catch your eye! In some ways, its fun to reject these girls...I hate rejection, and know it sux...so its fun to be able to dish it out!

 

[Lord Shinra]

I sometimes venture out on my own, and so far its gone good. Cutting loose my BAFC friends who wanted to hit the same dive over and over, and basically not do anything was what was holding me back.

It felt very liberating to lose them and break out on my own, especially because I ended up meeting a whole new crew and now it's all going better than ever. With my new crew due to common goals, were successful instead of getting c0ckbl0cked by your old BAFC friends. I highly suggest it, because it shows you got a pair to friends that hold you back, whether deliberate or not.

 

[Effington]

If all my friends are busy and I really feel like going out, I'll go solo. I've only done it a few times, and it's been fun. I go to a local bar that I know the staff, and I gotta tell ya, it's left some good impressions on some ladies when they see all the bartenders know me and comp'ing my drinks. A few times I see people I know and I talk with them a little; one time, one person asked "who I was here with" and I just said my buddies aren't here, but that person is a complete tool anyway--in general, you won't get that question, especially not from women.

I was out solo on Friday after a long work week and scored the number of the hottest girl at the bar--and she approached me! I was at the bar talking to the bartender, she came up and ordered a drink, and just started a conversation. After like 5-10 minutes, she was like, well it was nice to meet you, my friends are over there signaling to me (she points), but I'm sure I'll be back. I said I probably will be gone, but give me your number and we should do something later. Easy as pie.

 

[Craig_87]

This is a class post....thing is, one of my mates has suddenly come out of a long term relationship....girls are scoring him as an 8-10....same score as me....so i may have a valuable wingman there.....but the solo idea sounds immense...

Ill try just th 2 of us at first...then move on....too many AFCs in 1 group ruin it for everyone....so fu.ck em

 

[Cry For Love]

i went out last friday to a club alone, in fact it was the first time clubbing for me in my entire life. i did ask my friends to come but they didnt really get carried over by the idea(cough, afcs, cough ) and i have to say the night felt pretty f*cking good.

i just had a great time the whole night. danced with a lot of chicks and got some more intense pastime from a couple a aswell. i was pretty much the only guy in the club that really sarged around to my surprise, most of them were sitting in the bar or dancing with their girlfriends and became alarmed when i tried to advance to their chicks, heh. though the girls really seemed to enjoy it, i noticed a lot of IOIs during the entire night.

and i can say that in the big scheme of things the night really helped to get myself outta my shell and gave a nice confidence boost and as remotecontrol said frends wouldve only held me back

 

[reset]

I went to a bar alone a few years ago (lol) and got tanked. Brought two girls home with me from the bar but I had no clue how to advance beyond that.

This is something I'm just going to have to do. When I do go out, it's with my AFC buddies. Knowing they are there with me gets me there to begin with. But once I'm in the club, and have a couple drinks (not smashed, but buzzed) I usually disappear for a few hours. I'll just walk around the club, or go out on the dance floor alone and dance. I feel like I'm on an explorer mission. And everytime I do it, I always think "why don't I just do this alone? This is a lot of FUN!" And I realize, no one gives a crap. No one cares if I'm alone or not. They are thinking of themselves. Not me. But when we are insecure we think the whole world is watching us, like the Truman Show when it's just not true!

It will be fun to do this now, because before I knew nothing about so suave or any women skills really. Will add a whole new dynamic.