"going out"

[iCY]

whats with these 2 stupid magical words. i ask a girl if she wants to join me for some food and a movie or something and she thinks its just a thing shes doing with a friend. she doesnt really get the idea that im asking her out. you can be seeing a girl, both like each other(have made out etc..), and still not be in that "going out" category. this is kinda the first time for me and i have really no clue on how to get into that category. what exactly do u tell that girl that you would like to start a LTR. Ive never really been in one and now want to.

asically, if u have a gf, what did you do or tell her to make it "official"

im still a bit afc so some help is appretiated, ty

 

[Rico186]

What you did when you asked this girl to go to the movies is going on a date. yes there is a difference, and you are on the right track, a tip i have learned from life is that, you don't want to be looking got a LTR. It will just turn out messy.

So hey ask her out on another date to dinner or to a concert try to stay away from the movie little time to just talk. then tell her that you liked going on dates with her would you like to go out with me. that simple yeah it seems easy and it is but you have the feeling like that is too easy. just take it slow and everything will be fine.

Andy

 

[jonny football hero]

I just lay 'em n leave 'em.

Kiss her.

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

Originally posted by iCY
im still a bit afc so some help is appretiated, ty

denial, isnt it funny this is not a flame at you i just find it funny that every one seems to think they are perfect after being here a month, iv bene here for a while and im far from perfect despite the huge changes most of which are in confidence.

yeh like rico said just say "will you go out with me"

 

[RaMar]

in order to move from going out together as friends to going out on a date I think the key is kino. Doing things like, putting your arm around her, holding her hand, basically lots of toching- at least more then two friends would do.

As far as making it "official" I can't help you there. I think it just happens.

 

[TonyTheTigerOI]

If you have kissed her already...

THE WHAT IS THE ****ING PROBLEM!? Dont ASK to be considered her boyfriend. TREAT HER LIKE YOUR GIRLFRIEND and that she will be.

I take it you are young, and you both are inexperienced? Take her out, do something fun [mini golf, ice cream, ect] kiss her again to seal the deal, and then from then on feel free to wrap your arm around her when ur walkin together, or take her hand, or whatever affectionate stuff you are comfortable with.

Now, she may be confused cuz you never ask "will you go out with me" and ask you "are we going out?" Just smile, kiss her, and say yes.

You dont ASK to be in a relationship - it HAPPENS after a few get togethers/dates go well.

GL, have fun, use condoms!

 

[LikRetsam]

No it doesn't just happen. If that were the case, I'd have ~10 girls thinking they are my girlfriend. It happens when there is a consentual agreement.

'acting' like she's your girlfriend is bull **** and will lead to nothing but confusion. Ask the guys up here saying it's good if the girl didn't ask afterwards if they are bf/gf out of CONFUSION.

 

[Jerky Boi]

Girls want to be able to talk about you.


Say they're out with their friends and all of a sudden they all start talking about relationships. They're going to wanna say that you're their boyfriend. More than likely, in more instances, girls would prefer it be official. So, just suck it up and ask her. It's better that way. Making it "understood" just leads to confusion for both of you.

 

[oakraiderz2]

Originally posted by LikRetsam
No it doesn't just happen. If that were the case, I'd have ~10 girls thinking they are my girlfriend. It happens when there is a consentual agreement.

'acting' like she's your girlfriend is bull **** and will lead to nothing but confusion. Ask the guys up here saying it's good if the girl didn't ask afterwards if they are bf/gf out of CONFUSION.

If you wouldnt have said that, i dont know if anyone else would have. What the hell does acting like youre her bf accomplish?

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

Originally posted by oakraiderz2
If you wouldnt have said that, i dont know if anyone else would have. What the hell does acting like youre her bf accomplish?

well early on, when you first aproch, acting like her boyfreind is good because for here to want you as a boyfreind you need to act like one, well you dont need to but it can help.

i totaly agree with you thou you must ask her out! I even stated it earlyer, before you have asked her out and made it official, you are just 'seeing her'

 

[iCY]

well the problem i had was i didnt know what to say.

is there something i can say or one of those magical words i can use that will make her think that im not just asking her to go do something with me as a friend and that im asking her out?

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

if you say to her "will you got out with me" and pause, she will KNOW you mean to be exclusive!

 

[jonny football hero]

Originally posted by iCY
well the problem i had was i didnt know what to say.

is there something i can say or one of those magical words i can use that will make her think that im not just asking her to go do something with me as a friend and that im asking her out?

Not as such. Just keep the kino flowing. If she's not too dumb, she'll pick up the message you like her (which is what you want)

 

[TonyTheTigerOI]

... she is supposed to be confused. She knows you like her but doesnt completely understand your situation - her interest rises. By leaving it unspoken you dont create ANY negative energy - you just make her work a little harder.

Lik... right now 3 hs girls think they are my girlfriend. If I was official with any one of them the other 2 couldnt hang around... this way they ALL chase.

If you want to take the easy way out, be blunt and kill an opportunity to keep her thinking aobut you, be my guest.

 

[Patrick124]

but not beign official allows her to cheat easier[she'll still wonder if you'd approve, but "He didn't ask me out yet, so its ok" will be her mental response=The green light to mess with other guys]..

I'm still debating wether or not to ask my project out.

If your #1 girl[i have others...but the one i want the most for a few reasons] flirts with a lotta guys, but doesn't go passed light flirting...shes still likely to eventualyl hookup with one of these guys if I don't make things official yes?
Shes also a junior who drives while I'm a sophmore, which makes it even more likely for her to hookup with someone else if I don't make things official yes?
[My post seems insecure right now because right now BS drama and lovely friends twisting words and lies can cause Patrick to get alittle unsure of hwo he now stands lol]

 

[LikRetsam]

Acting like her boyfriend is displaying wayyyyy too much and if done at the wrong moment, will get her uninterrested.

I've had girls act like my girlfriend way too soon and I was disturbed. None of them got any further than that. First of all, it's insulting to me. In fact, I don't need any more reasons. I was insulted on so many levels. How dare they assume they have the honor of being my girlfriend? That's weak.

She creates the negative energies by assuming. Regardless of wether I want the same thing. The only thing the girl will be thinking about is when it will happen. Why haven't you asked. Continue to display your comfortable attitude and she cracks and ends up asking YOU. If it's not bothering you, that's where her questions rise.

I agree with the first part of your reply, but not with the last. No opportunity is killed. When you're at the point where you're both ready to become exclusive, there is no more 'mystery' in that domain. You both know. A delay is just retarded. You already know she's interrested.

 

[iCY]

what do u mean by, acting like my girlfriend? or acting like her boyfriend??

 

[TonyTheTigerOI]

Acting like her boyfriend is displaying wayyyyy too much and if done at the wrong moment, will get her uninterrested.

^^ Its not "acting like her BF" per say, you are not performing. You are TREATING HER how you would a GIRLFRIEND. And if you do it before you seriously make out with her and she shows major interest through innitiation of conversation, kino, and sexuality [usually with hands during kissing] then it could b a problem. But after one make out session if she displays interest it is more than acceptable to take her hand or wrap your arms around her for "no reason" as you would a girlfriend.

I've had girls act like my girlfriend way too soon and I was disturbed. None of them got any further than that. First of all, it's insulting to me. In fact, I don't need any more reasons. I was insulted on so many levels. How dare they assume they have the honor of being my girlfriend? That's weak.

Thats your problem. I dont take girls on dates who are not good looking enough for me to spend MORE time with. And if girls come and hold my hand - thats just kino i can transition into sexuality - as well as a huge show of interest. Who WOULDNT want that?

She creates the negative energies by assuming. Regardless of wether I want the same thing. The only thing the girl will be thinking about is when it will happen. Why haven't you asked. Continue to display your comfortable attitude and she cracks and ends up asking YOU. If it's not bothering you, that's where her questions rise.

^^ that does not make sense, rephrase.

I agree with the first part of your reply, but not with the last. No opportunity is killed. When you're at the point where you're both ready to become exclusive, there is no more 'mystery' in that domain. You both know. A delay is just retarded. You already know she's interrested.

Well in high school most relationships are exclusive anyways... and girls cant get enough drama. If she WANTS IT she wont SEE OTHER GUYS... PERIOD.

Sometimes, when I am explicitly non exclusive with girls they STILL dont date other guys because their interest in me is so high. And sometimes when I am casually seeing a really awesome girl I will lose interest in my other targets. That is natural. The delay allows this NATURAL process to occur. That way both parties DROP OTHER PARTNERS VOLENTARRILY and thus extinguish DOUBT that will foster later in the relationship.

Lik... if you just want to "get it done" to make it EASIER, that is and it definatly serves a purpose. Some girls are so insecure and so interested that you can just ask them to go out with you before you even kiss them - and skip straight to 3rd base on your first "hang out." But MOST girls that DEVELOPING DJs find will NOT BE LIKE THIS.

For girls with game and plenty of options... you need to put more effort into the seduction. Later.