going out with an old "friend", but i think she wants something more, need advice

[trey0204]

hey, this is my first post here so bare with me

I'm going to be hanging out with a girl I knew all the way back in middle school (I'm a junior in college now) in about 1 1/2 weeks. I want to make sure I get across I am interested in more that friendship (not neccessarily a relationship either, but a hook up).

I hung out with her some over the summer and we had alot of fun together, but she kind of treated me as just a good friend and didn't really seem interested in more. I left it at that and wasn't that interested either. I had some opportunities I think but I didn't really take advantage of them.

About 1 month ago, after I saw her a party when I went home one weekend, she started messaging me alot on AIM (I DID NOT initiate any contact, and she messages me 5-6 times a week to my 1). At first I didn't think it was a big deal but I started to feel a vibe and have been going C&F (something I am relatively new to, so please excuse me if my samples are ****) crazy on her lately, she seems to like it. Here are some samples.

trey: mike is coming up here this weekend so im getting ready for the carnage
HB: nice
trey: someone will probably die, but hey, it happens
HB: small price to pay
trey: i like the way you think
trey: RUTHLESS
HB: people under estimate me, really
trey: i think you are wimp too
HB: ha
trey: oh yes, i said it
HB: watch it fool
trey: what are you going to do, conk me over the head with a mikes hard lemonade?
HB: shut your pie hole
HB: i'm a beer gal and you know it
trey: no i seem to have forgotten i haven't seen you in so long
HB: oh well
HB: whos fault is that
trey: well it is definately not mine
HB: you just wait
HB: i'll show you
trey: im going to be home for like a week during thanksgiving, we will have to hang out - and you can "show" me
trey: so talk it up
HB: bring it
trey: i may just have to beat you in a fajita eating contest to since you talked that all up too
HB: oooooh ****
HB: you're on
HB: start practicing now
HB: you're gonna need it
trey: i dont practice, i've already proclaimed myself the reigning champion
HB: psssffffttttt

another:
HB: i just have to pass all my classes.... my grades aren't gonna transfer in Jan
trey: nice cop out!
HB:
HB: so i was at my mom's house right, looking through pictures
HB: totally found some hot ones of you from like 8th grade
trey: haha
trey: please burn those (this was dumb i dont know why i said it)
HB: no way jose
trey: what the hell does your mom has pictures of me
HB: they were in a box of ones from middle school
trey: ill send you a new, updated pic to replace the old one beside your bed
HB: thank goodness
HB: i was getting tired of staring at that old one
HB: i did find a picture from a band recital
HB: with the hot noble marroon colored vest you had on
trey: haha
trey: i wonder if that fat band teacher is still there
trey: what was his name
HB: Dr P
trey: THE P MAN
HB: first of all
HB: is that guy in your facebook picture someone you know
HB: and second of all
HB: GONZO?
trey: ****'s straight gonzo
trey: no it's not someone i know, but i wish i did
HB: what the hell is "gonzo"
trey: it is many things
trey: it is a way of life, it is an idea
trey: and it's also not something a chick would be able to understand
HB: hey
HB: I
HB: am not
HB: a "chick"
trey: what are you then
HB: i'm a lady
trey: the judge is still out on that
HB: oh it's on now!


Anyway, I haven't set a date or anything yet but she told me she wants to hang out when I'm home next week. I'm not sure whether to actually try to set up a 1on1 thing or meet up with/take her to a party or something.

Here's the big catcher: several times she has called me "buddy" or "dude" when I'm talking to her. I feel like this is a bad sign but at the same time she kind of seems like she is interested. I was pretty good friends with her back in middle school and we kind of lost contact after that. I was a HUGE AFC back then and I wanted to be her boyfriend, but I blew it with being to nice and to obsessive, calling her 3-4 times a day after school. Of course, she ended up going for the "bad boy" guys.

How should I approach this? I'm not going to be pissed if she ends up just wanting to be friends, I will be pissed if she really is interested and I don't at least try. I kind of feel like this is my opportunity to make up for being such a ***** in middle school, it's unconquered territory.

I tried to include as much info as possible, but if you need more just ask.

 

[bbestar]

like the rsd guys say
Interracting with Girls is like playing a game of chess...

You have known this girl since middle school! friken middle school.. long game of chess.. and you have probably made some bad moves...

its all a matter of time she check makes you to LJBF..

i used to get upset when i see this but now i understand it more clearly

Read the DJ Bible
Read sosuave.com articles
Read fastseduction forums

Once you have had all your fun and games, how about reading some of the real bible
www.bbnradio.org

 

[ScrewIt]

your situation sounds a little similar to mine during this past summer.

We were good friends during middle school but lost contact during early h.s. She probably wanted more but i never knew.
During the summer she imed me online asked me how i was doing and suggested a get together with some old middle school buddies we knew.

I went, we hung out, not much talking going on but overall it was good. So anyway i misinterpreted the situation. I thought she wanted to be friends again, which i would not have minded.

I spoke to her a couple times after that and happened to talk to her at work (one night i was walking home and she was inside, so i thought i'd go in and say hi, when i left i noticed her bf standing in the corner... :crackup: ).

In short, it didnt seem like she wanted to have anything to do with me. Perhaps she mistook the situation and thought i wanted to hook up with her. But anyway i decided to not pester myself with a hopeless situation, so now we're back to where we left off in the past...no contact.

As for your situation are you trying to see where things go with her or are you planning to lay her?
your situation seems more successful than mine, and you should keep it up.
Just dont lose your cool and play the game. you'll do fine.
I do believe old feelings can resurface if given the right ooomph in the right direction.

 

[trey0204]

im not necessarily trying to lay her the first night, but a kiss close or a little make out action that could lead to something more later on would be nice

i'm going to have to read her real carefully and be careful about what i pull

 

[smoke city]

looks like you're on yr way there, trey. looks like she's interested -- your c&f isn't too bad at all...keep it up mate

 

[scott44]

This is a tough one...

I read your post twice, looking for clues. One that I came across is that she mentioned she had found some "hot" pictures of you back then. That sounds almost like a hint to me... But, I could be wrong.

This girl definitely likes you... but I cannot tell if its the friendly way, or in the way of wanting something more.

Keep in mind that you are just starting to see more of her after a lot of years. I believe it is too early to tell. You need to hang out with her a little more and then assess the situation. I believe that it's also too early for her to decide. For example, she may dig you, but hasn't thought of hooking up with you yet. She just might do so...

She did say she wanted to get together with you in the near future. That's a way good thing... don't give up hope.
So plan a 1 on 1, ask her out on a date. My gut feeling is that she will say yes. If she says no, then who the hell cares, go to that party and have a good time, and forget about the bytch...If she asks you if it's a friendly thing or a date, then in a lighthearted way say: "that's up to you, sweetie!"

Go on your date and you'll see some signs of interest, or lack of.
Then, if you're still confused, I'd take her to that party after the date and let her get tipsy. Then you'll definetely know by the end of the night.

Careful, don't put this hoe up on the pedestal this soon. Just be cool and try and have a good time when you're with her.

 

[trey0204]

some more info

last time i saw her was on my friends birthday - we all got drunk at my house then went to the bar. we were getting pretty drunk and we started grinding each other on the dance floor for like 30 mins. after we left the bar the 4 of us who were left (me, her, my friend and her boyfriend) went back to my place and drank some more, sat around, talked, etc. the girls started to pass out but me and my buddy were still going strong. i took her up to my room where she could sleep (hooking up with her hadnt really crossed my mind). then i said something really strange. for some reason i thought about how i get real hot and sweat when i sleep with my clothes on, and being the nice guy that i am, i related my experience to her and told her to take her clothes off before she got in my bed, then i walked away to go drink more with my friend (im thinking this was real stupid now, but like i said i never thought about hooking up with her, even though my horny subconcious may have caused me to say that). when i came back up there about 2 hrs later to sleep, sure enough, she was in her panties and bra, passed out.

 

[ScrewIt]

well, if that happened, then i see no need for your post, i dont see any problems you could encounter. Unless your past afcness returned

 

[backbreaker]

at least you came here before you make a mistake...


2 facts that I have gathered from this board...


1. Any post over 1,000 words long in regards to a girl that is a friend, you are by default in the LJBF zone.

2. Any post that has a copied and pasted Instant Messanger Conversation, and none of it has to do with her sucking or you licking any of each others body parts, you are by default int eh LJBF zone.

3. If you have to look for clues.. there are no clues.


You got a drunk girl to take off her shirt and jeans...

Of course you wanted to ****, your a g uy, and I assume she isn't ugly sense you dated her. You are probably telling yourself that now so you can justify why you didn't make a move.

Girls get drunk so they CAN have an excuse to get buck wild.. women aren't stupid.. Just like me... even when I'm "tipsy" (I don't get pissy drunk), I may do things I normally wouldn't do, but I am fully aware of what I am doing, I just now have an excuse to do it.

She got drunk and took off her clothes and wanted you to beat it up, so she could at the very least, rationalize it to herself and her friends that she was drunk and might have made a mistake.. espically if you said she has a BF.

Anyway, you are LJBF

When you start to critique the word "dude" and "buddy", you are fishing for bass in a toliet.

I call everygirl, relatives, gf's, girls, UGs, Babe.. that's my word... I would love a girl to be up at 2 in the morning telling her GF's.. "well, he calls me babe alot, does that mean anything" I don't even think about it.

 

[backbreaker]

Originally posted by trey0204
im not necessarily trying to lay her the first night

****, I am, and will make it very clear that I want sex. Hell, we are grown, why beat around the bush... you have nice breasts, and nice legs.. you wouldn't be here on this date with me if you didn't find me attractive... so how about we just cut the crap and let me put my **** in your mouth

(note, I've said that before and it has actually worked)

I mean, of course I like things other than sex... But I don't go on dates to talk abou the weather, or to "meet new intersting people".. you can meet interesting people on forums or Barnes and Noble...

That's just my personality... that's why I can't keep female friends, because I **** them, and the very few that don't want to have sex, eventually give up trying to be my friend because I will keep making it known that I want to **** them. It's unnatral for me not to want to **** a woman.


Girls, like to feel naughty, like to feel dirty (sometimes)... I once went on a double date with this girl. I brought a girl Iw as talking to, and a friend of mine, who is a female, brought her husband.

The thing is, I was ****ing the girl with the husband, and the other two had no idea. Probaby one of the best dates, if nto the best date I have ever been on in my life. It was funny giving the girl i was with the attention and watching the other girl, with a husband sitting right next to her, get visibally jealous... it was even better when I took my girl home and she shook away from her husband and I ****ed her brains out that night... ah yes, that brings back memories...

Anyway back to the point. You are lying to yourself, and until you stop lying to yourself and stop feeling sorry for your manness, you will be a FRIEND to her

 

[trey0204]

Originally posted by backbreaker
****, I am, and will make it very clear that I want sex. Hell, we are grown, why beat around the bush... you have nice breasts, and nice legs.. you wouldn't be here on this date with me if you didn't find me attractive... so how about we just cut the crap and let me put my **** in your mouth

(note, I've said that before and it has actually worked)

I mean, of course I like things other than sex... But I don't go on dates to talk abou the weather, or to "meet new intersting people".. you can meet interesting people on forums or Barnes and Noble...

That's just my personality... that's why I can't keep female friends, because I **** them, and the very few that don't want to have sex, eventually give up trying to be my friend because I will keep making it known that I want to **** them. It's unnatral for me not to want to **** a woman.


Girls, like to feel naughty, like to feel dirty (sometimes)... I once went on a double date with this girl. I brought a girl Iw as talking to, and a friend of mine, who is a female, brought her husband.

The thing is, I was ****ing the girl with the husband, and the other two had no idea. Probaby one of the best dates, if nto the best date I have ever been on in my life. It was funny giving the girl i was with the attention and watching the other girl, with a husband sitting right next to her, get visibally jealous... it was even better when I took my girl home and she shook away from her husband and I ****ed her brains out that night... ah yes, that brings back memories...

Anyway back to the point. You are lying to yourself, and until you stop lying to yourself and stop feeling sorry for your manness, you will be a FRIEND to her

by lying to myself, do you mean that im lying in that i could live with ljbf? yes, i want to bang the hell out of her, but in my experience, if you can't, it's not always the best practice to throw them to the curve. have some good female friends can come in handy, especially if they think highly of you. they tell their friends good things about you and introduce you to other women they know. i have 2-3 female friends that have gotten me hookups before.

also, yes my post was pretty long about a ljbf, but i was just trying to reveal the background of the situation. i don't really understand the point you made about the AIM convo. are you saying that flirting/talking with a girl over messanger automatically puts you in ljbf? are you specifically tailoring this to my post because we were previously friends?

good posts

 

[backbreaker]

It's very good to have female friends.

It's very bad to have female friends that you honeslty want to have sex with.

It gets to you on a subconcious level.

Becaue everytime you look at her, you know that the only reason you are friends, is because she doesn't want you.

The only way you can have a female friend, is if you are not sexually attacted to her, ,or in other words, don't want her.

Not flaming you, but we have all been there.

Oh, ,and she isn't going to introduce you to any of her "hot friends", ,because you are not really her friend... you are a guy she keeps around to keep her ego up, but when push comes to shove, you aren't that important to her.

Oh, and even if she did introuduce you to hot friends, it doesn't matter, ,and it's not worth it

 

[trey0204]

good points