Going out alone vs. Going out with friends

[LADawg49]

Fellas, when it comes to picking up women/being a DJ, do yall have more success when u go out alone or when u go out with friends? You all might think im crazy, but I feel that im more of a DJ when I go alone because when I go with my friends, they are straight up AFC's and when I go up to a woman in front of them, they be like,
"Dont do it."
"Youre being too forward".
" She's gonna think your harrasing her"
"She'll reject you"
"You are stupid because she wont give her number to some stranger"
So in a way, I feel more comfortable going up to a woman when I go to a bar/the mall/restaurant when I go myself than when I go out with friends.. What do you all think?

 

[JasonR]

i much prefer it alone.

plus, it motivates me to actually go up and talk to people, because otherwise you'll be standing around like a lemon.


because ive only been in college 3 weeks the friends i have arent my life friends, they are however AFCs to the maximum, and going out on a night out with them is hard, because it saps all of my intent, and i end up not doing nearly as many approaches as i should.

I would LOVE to go out with like 2 other don juans, and just meet up every like 20 mins or something to see how many numbers we have got. I think having other djs to bounce off would add incentive and would really motivate me beyond belief. You could do it more like a game if you had people to "compete" against.

 

[JasonR]

the WORST people to go out with are WOMEN.

unfortunately in my little group, there are 3 guys, inc myself, and 3 girls.

and because were all new, we tend to stick together, any deviation from the group is scary for them.

well, maybe a couple months down the line i will go out on my own more often, or maybe with one or 2 guys.

 

[LADawg49]

Man u are right and I agree. Alot of people think if they go out solo, people will think they are losers, laugh at them, think they have no life, etc. Well if u have that mentality about yourself, then naturally people will have that mentality of you. However if you are laid back, friendly, comfortable and act as if u know everyone there, then you should have no problems whatsover. Like u, wish I could hang out with a couple DJ's where we could compete for how many numbers we could get and all. But however 95% of the guy pop. are AFC's. Oh well, im one of the 5% whose not

 

[R3N3G4D3]

One of my friends is exactly the same way. No matter what I do he tells me that girls don't like when guys act agressive, that I look retarded when I come up to a girl and start talking without knowing her. He is also pissed that I keep asking random girls on the street for directions, saying it's rude.

By the way, about a week ago, I saw this girl that I know walking by in the dining hall as she was chatting on her cell phone (she didn't see me) so I poked her on the shoulder as she walked by then said "hey" to her. So she turns around, chases after me in a playful (fake pissed off) way, pokes me back on my shoulder and says "hey" as well. Afterwards he was b!tching about me doing that for the enxt 10 minutes. He kept saying "you jsut don't do that to girls, it's rude".

It's getting annoying, but so far I just keep telling him to calm down or to stop b!tching.

As for approaching, it really depends on your friends. Sure, no matter how good of DJs your buddies are, if you walk in a group with 20 people, you won't have much luck. I think the best idea would be to find another friend who understands the tactics and go with him. More than 2 is not always a good idea.

 

[squirrels]

I've gone clubbing with people like that before. One friend in particular is always telling me I'm "too touchy-feely" and need to be slower and more respectful. Of course last time he said that, guess who got laid and who didn't.

 

[Player_Supreme]

You should be able to go out either or and still be successful. Whether or not you have social proof at your heels is no reason to stay home.

I go out alone quite often and I'm still very successful. When my road dog and I hit the clubs we don't stay huddled up.

We each know we have a job to do so we get busy. We meet during breaks on sarging at times.

Too many fella's need to rely on their friends for support to get up the courage to approach. That is a crutch...get rid of it.

 

[SIXPAKGQ]

what about DJing with ur female friends?

 

[gm8384]

I too I have much better luck when I am by myself, but I am left with a question.

Any of my luck is at school or possible if I had to run to the store/mall for something and chatted with someone there. But, how would I actually "go out" alone? I'm talking about going to a coffee house, or maybe some school function.

It is weird to sit there and keep an eye out for girls you would want to approach but try to look natual and comfortable at the same time.

Ideas?

 

[Mr. Mystery II]

gm8384:

Checking out girls IS NATURAL, so no need to feel unnatural doing it.

As far as going out alone or solo goes, it shouldn't matter, if you go out alot your gonna know people there anyway, so its really not like your alone. When I do "show up" with friends, depending on the party I'm with I will roll with them or venture out on my own. When I venture out on my solo, I concentrate on getting to know as many people as possible as I float about, its cool running into people later on that night that you "haven't seen in awhile" like they are a long lost friend.

I got some friends that chill at the bar ALL night, and its pretty much my job with these guys to get the girls and bring them to the bar, which is cool with me cause I could use a few wings to isolate the girl I'm interested in.

Then theres other guys that just like to float around the place and take the initiative to meet people, which is more my thing, and its always a blast rolling with them, we play off each other. But we always get separated, one of us will get in with one girl and their friends aint really feeling the other guy, so one of us will move on to another pasture, but we always link back up eventually and if not, then its we'll catch up the next day or whenever.

But the point is if your having fun, your gonna fit in, whether your with people or not.

Mr. Mystery

 

[diplomatic_lie]

I hate picking up women obviously with friends, as the number of guys can intimidate a woman (and cause your friends to do immature stupid things).

Generally with a group of guys, I tend to be reactive with picking up (flirting lightly, accepting an opportunity, but not making active attempts).