Going completely blank after approaching at clubs

[SethIsCold]

I will usually open with something pretty standard like: "Hey how's it going? I just wanted to meet you real quick."

After the opener, I will introduce myself and ask how they know each other but it rarely gets more than a few words out of them.

I then proceed to go into interview mode questions (I try to do assumption statements instead of direct questions) to keep the convo going like what do you do, where you are from etc. but they usually give short answers and the conversation dies. And the big problem with that is then I go completely silent as I have no idea what to talk about so I sit there awkwardly for a bit and just leave.

Now there are instances where the girl will be more interested and keep the conversation going with longer answers but it's been very rare.

Is there any structure/formula I can use so that I don't just run out of things to say and sit there like an idiot? I know that inner game is prioritized but canned lines/structures can really help for me to build that confidence. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks!

 

[CollegeMan22]

What do you think every other guy is doing? Are they not asking the same exact boring questions as you? How would that lead to success if you are a replaceable sausage?

You need to become 10% more interesting than everyone else. First, ASSUME things about her (cold read) instead of asking questions. “You must be German”, “You look like a psychology major”, “You seem adventurous”. EITHER she says “yes, omg how did you know???” or you get to figure out what she actually is. No loss possible.

The structure of approaching girls should go something like: (1) go up to them and assume something, (2) take their answer and tease them, (3) keep doing this while mainly ignoring the girl you want, (4) try to isolate the girl you want.

How do you tease? You take a response and make fun of it. If she says she’s an orthodontist, tell her to smile so you can check her expertise. If she says she’s in a sorority, say “ah, we must have a bad girl here”. Basically, YOU are the judge and selector of her, and YOU deflect anything she says back to her. You are an iron statue and anything she says deflects off of you and hits her. So you keep deflecting **** tests as they come. If she calls you a pu$$y for whatever reason, you point at her and say “well look at you”. There’s a ton of different situations, but if you master the core principle of being high energy and an iron wall, you’ll do well.

One more tip: when you walk into any party or bar, act like YOU ARE THE MAN. Head high, self-assured as sh*t, you walk in there like you own the place. Any friend you see you greet loudly and decisively. You introduce yourself to everyone, the guys and the girls. Thus you get perceived as the “guy who knows everyone”, ie social proof. And you get into a talkative mood too.

 

[Divorced w 3]

I have written on this topic 9 or so pages into the mode one thread part 2. Works well for me, take a look and see if it helps.

 

[SethIsCold]

I have written on this topic 9 or so pages into the mode one thread part 2. Works well for me, take a look and see if it helps.

Could you please link it?

 

[characternote]

I think @CollegeMan22 gave a good answer, at least in terms of theory and in a PUA sense.

Your question is pretty much identical to the sort of threads I made like 5 years ago lol. I had the same exact issues.

In fact, I still had the same issues more or less even AFTER implementing all kinds of PUA tips and advice like cold reads and negs and stories and observations blablabla. In most situations, none of that stuff helped.

My conclusion? It will all work IF she is attracted to you! If you are her type. Even interview mode is FINE if you happen too approach a girl who thinks you are hot. She will give long answers, ask you things, give you new threads. She more than carries her own weight. Julien RSD used to use nothing but interview mode in lots of his infields (of course he had many rejections too)

Conversely, it will all fail if you open a girl who is NOT into you. You're not her type. In that situation, cold reads and negs and teases and stories etc will meet the same fait as 'interview mode'. i.e - a girl who just isn't engaging and clearly wants you to leave kinda thing.

Running out of things to say is typically less about you, and more about her. It's basically her goal to make you run out of things to say if you're not her type lol.


Rejection Compilation in premium products actually demonstrate this nicely, although ironically that wasn't the goal of the PUA's who uploaded these compilations lol. But it really proves, to me at least, that the important things is whether she is 'into you' or not. Not your 'game'.

 

[DreamAgain]

You are not observing choosing signals. In a club, interested girls will make it clear they are interested in you. They will move to be close to you, "accidentally" touch you, ask you a question first, etc.

 

[skipfontaine22]

Its my sticking point too. You have to learn how to blab a bunch of sh*t so they have things to grasp on to.
Because otherwise they put in minimal effort to make conversation. They want to be equal, and I think they should be, but Christ we still have to do all the work.

Look into the PUA stuff called "plowing".

 

[skipfontaine22]

I think @CollegeMan22 gave a good answer, at least in terms of theory and in a PUA sense.

Your question is pretty much identical to the sort of threads I made like 5 years ago lol. I had the same exact issues.

In fact, I still had the same issues more or less AFTER implementing all kinds of PUA tips and advice like cold reads and negs and stories and observations blablabla.

My conclusion? It will all work IF she is attracted to you! If you are her type. Even interview mode is FINE if you happen too approach a girl who thinks you are hot. She will give long answers, ask you things, give you new threads. She more than carries her own weight. Julien RSD used to use nothing but interview mode in lots of his infields (of course he had many rejections too)

Conversely, it will all fail if you open a girl who is NOT into you. You're not her type. In that situation, cold reads and negs and teases etc will meet the same fait as 'interview mode'. i.e - a girl who just isn't engaging and clearly wants you to leave kinda thing.

Running out of things to say is typically less about you, and more about her. It's basically her goal to make you run out of things to say if you're not her type lol.


Rejection Compilation in premium products actually demonstrate this nicely, although ironically that wasn't the goal of the PUA's who uploaded these compilations lol. But it really proves, to me at least, that the important things is whether she is 'into you' or not. Not your 'game'.

Good points, this helps me too, thanks.
Also I loved Julien back in the day, he was a boss and we share a similar humor.

Too bad his good stuff has been taken offline.

His interview modes were more really bold commanding statements, which shifted them from not seeming needy.

 

[characternote]

His interview modes were more really bold commanding statements, which shifted them from not seeming needy.

This is true, but honestly, after so many years of experimenting in field with all this stuff, I think it's so minor that it's ALMOST irrelevant. In other words, i'm 100% certain that every girl Julien got in his infields, he could have also got without making his 'interview mode' quite as 'challlenging' if that makes sense

All PUA's, just like the rest of us, really are simply banging the girls who are receptive and into them. Yes girls, basically. It's a numbers game.

 

[skipfontaine22]

This is true, but honestly, after so many years of experimenting in field with all this stuff, I think it's so minor that it's ALMOST irrelevant. In other words, i'm 100% certain that every girl Julien got in his infields, he could have also got without making his 'interview mode' quite as 'challlenging' if that makes sense

All PUA's, just like the rest of us, really are simply banging the girls who are receptive and into them. Yes girls, basically. It's a numbers game.

Yeah its a good point. Usually when I approach babes and get into interview mode I think I f'd it up, but you're right - maybe she wasn't available in the first place.

But I think its best to do it more in a commanding way -- that is all I was saying.

I DO think women are constantly screening for confidence and if you can send any signal that you're confident then might as well utilize it. Commanding interview mode is more confident than needy interview mode (But then again it might seem tryhard and orchestrated).

But you're right maybe its a small factor.

 

[Gamisch]

Good thread.

I agree it's good to practice improvisation. But when you run out of things to say it could also mean you've said enough. Gives you got two choices
- walk away awkwardly
-ask her if she wants to meet up or skip even that part and ask her number right away

At that point you have nothing to lose anymore. Might as well " go out with a bang". Imo it shouldn't take too long anyway. In out, robbery style. You already went in anyway.

Third option;
- Walk out of the situation ,get a drink, a smoke , take a leak , catch a breath whatever you feel like. This allows you to take a step back, recollect your self and continue the conversation later on. And even when you do that the second time , again you try to get her number asap.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Won’t add much but the following. Don’t move around too much imo. The bar is one of the few places where traffic has to come to you. Position yourself in the busiest spot and hang there as there will be lots of volume and opportunity to meet and make convo. Be there enough where the people working there know you. Even if not by name you want people to have facial recognition. Dress for the environment but don’t overdress. It’s dark. CARRY CASH. Pay for your drinks in cash. Visually you stand out by doing this. Chat women and also be a bro and let the cool guys move in periodically to grab a drink. You’ll get the vibe as to when you should move around more. You’ll start to establish your presence there. You can’t get caught in loss of convo and you don’t get caught buying drinks if you are hanging there though and letting it come to you. It flips the dynamic in your favor. I can’t remember the last time I paid for a drink

 

[SethIsCold]

Good thread.

I agree it's good to practice improvisation. But when you run out of things to say it could also mean you've said enough. Gives you got two choices
- walk away awkwardly
-ask her if she wants to meet up or skip even that part and ask her number right away

At that point you have nothing to lose anymore. Might as well " go out with a bang". Imo it shouldn't take too long anyway. In out, robbery style. You already went in anyway.

Third option;
- Walk out of the situation ,get a drink, a smoke , take a leak , catch a breath whatever you feel like. This allows you to take a step back, recollect your self and continue the conversation later on. And even when you do that the second time , again you try to get her number asap.

I go out with my wing so I'll usually just walk back to him if it gets too awkward.

So you'd say if the conversation reaches a dead stop like that and she gives short answers, that's just her nicely telling me she is not interested?

 

[SethIsCold]

I think @CollegeMan22 gave a good answer, at least in terms of theory and in a PUA sense.

Your question is pretty much identical to the sort of threads I made like 5 years ago lol. I had the same exact issues.

In fact, I still had the same issues more or less even AFTER implementing all kinds of PUA tips and advice like cold reads and negs and stories and observations blablabla. In most situations, none of that stuff helped.

My conclusion? It will all work IF she is attracted to you! If you are her type. Even interview mode is FINE if you happen too approach a girl who thinks you are hot. She will give long answers, ask you things, give you new threads. She more than carries her own weight. Julien RSD used to use nothing but interview mode in lots of his infields (of course he had many rejections too)

Conversely, it will all fail if you open a girl who is NOT into you. You're not her type. In that situation, cold reads and negs and teases and stories etc will meet the same fait as 'interview mode'. i.e - a girl who just isn't engaging and clearly wants you to leave kinda thing.

Running out of things to say is typically less about you, and more about her. It's basically her goal to make you run out of things to say if you're not her type lol.


Rejection Compilation in premium products actually demonstrate this nicely, although ironically that wasn't the goal of the PUA's who uploaded these compilations lol. But it really proves, to me at least, that the important things is whether she is 'into you' or not. Not your 'game'.

I have always felt this way and it feels so good to hear someone else say it tbh. Like I've pulled girls with straight interview mode and very little 'game' but my wing says game is all about getting the girls who aren't attracted to you in the first place but you win them over with game.

Would you say the best thing to do when girls give short answers and show general disinterest is to just move on instead of trying to 'convert' them?

 

[SethIsCold]

You are not observing choosing signals. In a club, interested girls will make it clear they are interested in you. They will move to be close to you, "accidentally" touch you, ask you a question first, etc.

What about converting them and making them attracted by running tight game? Is that not really practical?

 

[characternote]

I have always felt this way and it feels so good to hear someone else say it tbh.

Over a long enough timeline, everyone comes to the same conclusion

PUA's give themselves too much credit when they pull a girl. I used to do the same thing and pat myself on the back like I was a pimp when getting laid! It's actually why I pretty much stopped writing field reports some time ago. Because I'd realised that I hadn't done anything special. The level of 'game' required is basically 'don't be a complete sperg'. From that point, the girls who want you will help you get them. I'd sometimes interview girls from one night stands about when they wanted me etc, and basically without fail, they'd say they were attracted to me before i'd even said 'hi'. At around that time I was watching lots of RSD infields and this realisation made me go back and rewatch all of Max's infields and I was like 'sh1t! The girls who he actually bangs are girls who opened him!' (watch 'the natural' infields to see what I mean)

You can't 'game' a girl into wanting you. I know exactly what you are talking about. It was a big debate back in the day (the idea of how game is about forcing attraction in girls so that you can get any girl you want instead of only the ones who want you). And that debate also bread the whole 'direct vs indirect' debate too

It's something i've researched and experimented with more than most will know. I know that there's nobody who can 'game' a girl who isn't at all sexually attracted into wanting to bang him. Think about what infields look like when they go home with a girl. Look at the patterns. How does she react to his opener etc? Think about why out of maybe 5000 infields there's been like zero where a girl is a clear, strong 'no girl' at the open which then leads too a lay. It just doesn't happen. And this is with people who cherry pick their infields and who coach this stuff!!! If 'game' was possible to the extent it's sold, there should be like 3000 infields where the PUA opens the girl. She doesn't answer. Tells him she's not interested, tries to end the convo and asks him to leave etc, and then he bangs her!! haha. I can tell from an infield within seconds of the open whether it will go anywhere or not. And I can tell with my own approaches, too

Even the guys who claim this as being possible (for example mystery or Todd) can't do it. At all!! They get rejected just as much as me or you. I promise lol. The best game simply means banging all the girls who want you (because believe it or not it's still possible to screw up even if a girl wants you). But ain't nobody doing anything LIKE what was sold to the pickup community back in the day by people like mystery etc. The idea you can neg and tease your way into getting any girl you approach.

One thing i'll say is that the consensus in the whole community (INCLUDING THE COACHES!!) seems to have shifted to this view. Most people seem to have woken up. There's really only maybe Todd V who still pushes the idea that 'game' can get you any/every girl you want (despite the fact he's got a boat load of harsh rejections. Some even went viral!). People claiming that sort of thing are simply doing so to further their business interests. It's probably why lots of PUA communities started to dwindle, as if everyone woke up at the same time and realised they were looking for magic that doesn't exist. Not to say game doesn't matter at all, as it does, but it simply had very little solution for 'attraction' which is the pre-requisiste

 

[SethIsCold]

I've only been doing this for like a year but everything you said is exactly what I have felt and experienced. And I'd never considered that about the infields but now that I think of it, pretty much all of them are with girls who show a ton of interest and these guys just say it's cause they gamed them but it was just attraction to begin with.

Like you said, to me game is not about doing things to get unreceptive girls to liking you but rather not doing things to stop receptive girls from liking you.

I'm very interested in how you approach your sets though. Do you do a lot of polarization and compliance tests early in the set to see whether she's actually attracted to you or just interact naturally and gauge attraction based on IODs and social cues?

 

[Divorced w 3]

In a club, interested girls will make it clear they are interested in you. They will move to be close to you, "accidentally" touch you, ask you a question first, etc.

100%

 

[Slowhandluke]

100%

I guess since no girls is approaching the OP, and he has to do all the approaching; the OP is unattractive. Is this what you are implying with your "100%"; he is "100%" unattractive?

 

[Divorced w 3]

I guess since no girls is approaching the OP, and he has to do all the approaching; the OP is unattractive. Is this what you are implying with your "100%"; he is "100%" unattractive?

No. Rarely(not always) you have to initiate. But they will pull up to the bar all night. You simply stand at the bar facing the bartender with your wingman holding conversation and / or chilling and periodically chatting with the (ideally) hot bartender. As a girl walks up you can just say whatever is pretty much on your mind. If you say it half turned at most, lean in bc it’s loud, and then look straight again as to give her ‘her space’ so she can order, you’ll be push pull and the rest will follow. Then she’ll lean in, ask questions, rub on you accidentally etc. you have to be patient and let them give you signals. Once you get it, it’s fish in a barrel. Most people can’t do this. As you establish frame you can move around a bit, and you can even start setting little story lines with the women you meet throughout the night. That’s when it gets fun. It’s a natural progression. Even the bartenders enjoy it.